Winslet Wednesday

Just because it's Hump Day, here is Kate Winslet sitting some sort of way. You're welcome.

My Weekend Crush

Well this week got away from me. So I leave you with a quick hit, but a good hit. Here are Kate Winslet and Jodie Foster together (with a bonus Kate scowl photobomb). The actors were out supporting each other, and it seems they have had a mutual admiration society since at least 2010 when they starred in “Carnage” together. I will reserve comment on these prodigiously talented women working with some equally problematic directors over the years. It’s the weekend and you gotta let some of that shit go. How about this, they work together with an entirely unproblematic (preferably female) director instead? Problem solved. Happy weekend, all.

Vacation Vixen: Kate Winslet

Last day of my vacation and I don’t know what to do with myself either. So here’s Kate Winslet in a vest. There, doesn’t that feel at least a little bit better?

Tank Top Tuesday: Wishful Winslet

I am going to count whatever Kate Winselt has on under that jacket as a tank top. Do I know that it’s a tank top? No. Can I confirm that it’s a tank top? Again, very much no. Do I believe in my heart it is a tank top? Yes, obviously. And, truly, isn’t that what matters? Look, if one whole major party presidential nominee doesn’t need to be even remotely in touch with facts anymore (not that his little orange hands had any grip on facts in the first place), I can believe with my whole heart that we’re witnessing a tank top moment from Kate Winslet.

Also, believing it’s a tank top helps distract from the fact that this photoshoot was in The Telegraph. But at least it was considerate of her to pair my favorite kind of top off with my favorite other kind of top – namely, a suit jacket. See, dreams really do come true.

Picture This

Hey, remember when I said Kate Winslet was going to play famed photographer and war correspondent Lee Miller in the first major biopic about her life? Well, here it is. While you can’t judge too much from a two-minute trailer, I’d say Kate is likely making a little space on her mantle for some award season hardware. Like that one Oscar she has must be feeling lonely. Maybe this film will fix that. Also, a film that chronicles the fallout of a fascist war? I dunno, seems sadly timely.

Kate & Cate's Wee Party

Who do we have to kill to get these two in a movie together? I’m not going to set this up other than by saying, please delight in Kate Winslet and Cate Blanchett telling stories about female peeing on the Graham Norton show recently. Again, who do we have to kill? We will do it. (Please Note: We would also be willing to do things a few steps below murder, but just keeping all options open for the best results – as one should when we’re talking Kate & Cate.)

Regime & Roll

Still can’t shake the January Doldrums? Well, why not look forward to March when we can all luxuriate in Kate Winslet being the European Authoritarian of our wildest dreams/nightmares in “The Regime.” Granted, there’s enough creeping (or, in TFG’s case, sprinting) toward fascism in real life. But if anyone can make it at least enjoyable to watch, it’s Kate. I mean those cheekbones were made to slice up her enemies. Also, hello Martha Plimpton. I’ve loved you since Goonies.

Regime Change

Oooh, are you ready for Kate Winslet to be bad again? Like authoritarian fascist regime bad? (Kinda like her character in the Divergent series, but with some European aristocracy attached). “The Regime” (formerly “The Palace”) is a satire that follows “one year within the walls of the palace of a modern European regime as it begins to unravel.” Kate plays what appears to be the country’s ruthless chancellor thus giving her seemingly endless opportunities to twitch her eye to signal something like this one goes to the firing squad or scream into an endless forrest. You know, normal regime stuff. I’d watch Kate chew almost any scenery, so I’m hopeful this Stephen Fears-helmed Max (shudder) series will make the most of their very talented cast. Also more Martha Plimpton, because always give me more Martha Plimpton.

This Woman's Worth

I guess it’s all my favorite actresses week here at Surrenders because now it’s time to talk about Kate Winslet’s next project. (First Jodie. Now Kate. Add the other Cate and it’d be a full house, or whatever poker hand has five Oscars.) Kate with a K will be playing Lee Miller, the acclaimed photojournalist and artist who was mostly (and unfairly) recognized as Man Ray’s muse. Never trust a patriarchy to correctly chronicle a woman’s worth or rightful place in history. Like, did you know Miller was a war correspondent for Vogue who documented the liberation of the Buchenwald and Dachau concentration camps, as well as other key World War II events across Europe? Because she did. I’ve been encouraged by what I’ve heard about the film so far, and obviously this first-look image shows Miller during her war correspondent years.

Kate has said of her role as Lee:

“To me, she was a life force to be reckoned with, so much more than an object of attention from famous men with whom she is associated. This photographer, writer, reporter, did everything she did with love, lust, and courage, and is an inspiration of what you can achieve, and what you can bear, if you dare to take life firmly by the hands and live it at full throttle.”

The film will also be the directorial debut of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” cinematographer Ellen Kuras and will co-star Andy Samberg, Marion Cotillard and Alexander Skarsgard. Yeah, I know Andy Samberg is a bit of a head scratcher here, but look everyone loves a little shiny Oscar bait. On a personal note, I have a magnet of Lee Miller’s neck on my fridge, because I too am inspired by her like Man Ray. Gotta give that dude some credit, he had an eye for amazing women (who happen to make good magnets, and avatars, ahem).

My Weekend Crush

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Obviously, I’ve always loved Kate Winslet. But now that we’re both entering the later stages of our forties, I somehow love her even more. As you all unfortunately know, I’ve had some major life bullshit happen in the past year. But I’m trying my best not to feel defeated. Because Kate is right. There’s a power in the IDGAFness of your later 40s. And I’m doing all I can to embrace it, this year, just like Kate. Happy weekend, all

C/Kate the Greats

Well, would you look at that — going on a full week of daily postings. My personal heartbreak notwithstanding, I certainly have missed writing here every day. So it feels good getting back into the swing of things. And, guess what, I’m about to have a lot more free time. So who knows, maybe I can write even more, better things for you. A recently dumped gay gal can dream.

Speaking of dreams, I saw in a recent interview with “Tár” director Todd Field that he hopes to work on a project starring…wait for it…Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet.

*pauses for unrelenting lesbian squealing*

Yep, that’s right, according to his interview with Variety, Field said he wants to work with Cate and Kate and has an idea to bring the C/Kates together, saying:

“I always think of the two ‘C/Kates’ a little bit about how we thought about DeNiro and Pacino before they were in that scene in Michael Mann’s ‘Heat.’ It was there as we were all waiting to have a scene with the two of them together. I think the ‘C/Kates’ at some point, they need to work together.”

Um, yes please. And thank you. Thank you very much.

I have no idea whether this idea will get out of the idea phase (get the idea?) But I certainly will expend a not small part of my gay energy hoping it will. And as we wait for the blessed C/Kate coupling to occur (I mean, obviously, they have to be queer in this project right? They have to be. We will accept no substitute), please enjoy these images of the C/Kates already canoodling.

Angling to make Brie part of a thruple even!

p.s. Yes, I have seen “Tár” and plan to have a full review soon. It’s sure…something. Sure is.

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Gender Fuck Thursday: A Kate For All Season

Oh Kate, Kate. Please never stop wearing suits or chunky lesbian watches. And please never stop making prestige TV for HBO. The almost EGOT (perhaps time for a little Broadway after your TV projects, eh?), will star and produce in two more limited series for the premium channel after her “Mare of Easttown” success.

Her two planned HBO projects give us a Kate for All Seasons: Contemporary Kate and possibly Period-Piece Kate.

The first announced series, “Trust” is an adaptation of the novel by the same name about a wealthy financier who reads a novel based on his life and hires a secretary to ghostwrite a memoir because he’s upset with how he and his wife are portrayed. But the ghostwriter realizes he is trying to rewrite history — and his wife’s place in it. I haven’t read the book, so I don’t know if Kate will be playing the ghostwriter or the wife (though I kind of think the ghostwriter?).

The second project is called “The Palace.” The time period isn’t elaborated on in the announcement. But the story will ”chronicles a year inside an authoritarian regime as it begins to unravel.” I can’t tell if this will be a present-day palace or an old-timey palace what with authoritarianism being so popular across the damn ages. The series will team Kate up with acclaimed English director Stephen Frears, whose films include “The Queen,” “Victoria & Abdul” and this year’s “The Lost King.” Does someone have a monarchy kink? Just saying.

I will likely check out both these projects, as I greatly enjoyed Kate in “Mare of Easttown,” which was just an all-around acting clinic. And of course I also liked (though, goodness, they were going for grim) “Ammonite.” So I can’t wait to see her tackle both contemporary and possibly period projects for HBO again. And perhaps she could wear suits like in her Elle/Longines/fancy kinda lesbian watches photoshoot in at least one of them? You know, just a suggestion. Suits are, after all, timeless.

The Soft Butch Detective

I started “Mare of Easttown” a little late, binging most of the season and then watching the last two episodes in real time. I really don’t have a great excuse for why I didn’t start promptly, other than that it’s been a long 15 months and I’m not perfect – OK. I’M NOT PERFECT. Kidding! (I obviously am perfect.) Kidding, but for real this time. Anyway. Back to Mare and her Easttown. Honestly the show was custom-made for me. A veteran lady detective who is Very Good at her job. A twisty-turny case. A lot of weird accents. A significant queer female character (that, bonus points & spoilers … does not die!) All that plus Kate Winslet. Come on, I have no idea why I waited. And it is also the second consecutive Certifiable Soft Butch™ role of Kate’s career (after “Ammonite,” the lesbian rocks/spoilers…sitting on Kate Winslet’s face movie). Besides all the Wawa subs, the best thing about the series was the space it gave its lead female performers to just act the shit out of everything. Kate, Jean Smart, Julianne Nicholson and Angourie Rice brought despair, grit, frailty and humanity to their roles. They were a pleasure to watch, even if Easttown does not entirely seem like a pleasure to live in.

Plus, it gives us another opportunity to see that other Kate, Kate McKinnon, do what she does best. I really, really enjoyed “Mare of Easttown,” and if I’m being perfectly honest with myself I would totally also watch “Murder Durder.”

Mare of Television

We can add Kate Winslet to the long list of A-list actresses to play a “Sad Detective” on television. Sad/gloomy/dour say what you will, but it’s often darn good television - especially when the smart female detective gets to do smart things on screen. Here Kate appears to be a former high school sports star who is now a Sad Detective in her same small town in "Mare of Easttown." But a new case gets her out of her gloom, maybe. Anyway, I’m going to watch it because, again, I have an unhealthy love of crime shows with female leads. Plus, after getting Saoirse Ronan to (SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED AMMONITE) sit on her face, well - I feel like I owe her one.

My New Year's Crush

We made it. We made it to 2021. Does changing the year on the calendar fix anything automatically? Duh, of course not. But the symbolism (and, you know, reality) of the year we all just lived through cannot be lost on us. We lived through some fucking trauma. And more than 330,000 did not make it to this moment. So please time to enjoy this day, and all those to come. If you haven’t had a chance to see “Ammonite” yet, I still believe it’s worth it. For all its intentionally grim silences, there was still beauty amid its gray, hard stone surface. Today, float like Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan through this ocean of a world. Claim your joy this year, you’ve earned it. Happy weekend and 2021, all.

Review: Ammonite

Let me just put it all out there: “Ammonite” is the lesbian prestige period piece that FUCKS.

The film starring Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan is ostensibly a semi-historical romance set in 1840s England about two women who fall in love while searching for fossils along the unforgiving southern seashore. Yes, it’s “Portrait of a Lady with Fossils” mixed with “Carol for Rocks,” sorta.

Indeed, “Ammonite” is about stones. Stones in the literal sense that they unearth bearing the shape of creatures long lost to time, and the stones we can fill our hearts with or that can stubbornly block us from our true passions.

While “Ammonite” may have much in common with our recent slate of lesbian and queer-themed films about women (often period pieces, often filled with long scenes of moody gazing), the movie’s male writer-director has decided gritty and unrelenting realism was his best chance at standing out.

So the second thing you should know about “Ammonite” is that the tone remains resolutely grim through much of the picture. Like, I’m not sure if Kate cracks more than three smiles as stoic and steadfast paleontologist Mary Anning. Her real-life character was a famed fossil hunter. In the film, she is apparently past her major discoveries prime and now sells what she finds as trinkets for tourists in her coastal town.

She meets Saoirse’s Charlotte (whose husband has dumped her with Mary because of some kind of diagnosed hysterical rich lady problems, but what I believe is an undiagnosed case of post-partum depression and unrealized lesbianism) who reluctantly comes to walk the rocky beaches with her in search of even more rocks.

Now, you’d think long walks on the beach would be the perfect setting for romance. I mean, the waves crashing! The dresses billowing in the wind! But, “Ammonite” telegraphs its serious intentions by focusing on the harshness instead of the beauty. Shit is dour, man. Stuff is grimy. Life is drab. Also, the second you see a boiled egg being cracked open look away for a bit. Trust me, it’s not pretty and that’s the point.

But, and here’s the biggest “but” perhaps ever, all this grim and grimy determination is interspersed with moments of almost spastic yet entirely believable desire. You know that sex scene everyone is talking about? Believe me, you won’t miss it. I can honestly say it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen in mainstream lesbian movies, especially mainstream lesbian movies brimming with A-list stars. And unlike some of those other much-talked-about lesbian sex scenes of late (“Blue is the Warmest Color” and “Disobedience” come to mind), this one totally passes the Lesbo Street Cred test – if you know what I mean.

Also, it’s not unhot.

[SPOILERS FOLLOW, COME BACK AFTER THE NEXT ALL-CAPS, BOLDED BRACKET]

Right, so that scene? Well, OK, I’m just going to say it. Saoirse Ronan sits on Kate Winslet’s face. Yes, you read that correctly. If you’ve ever wanted to see an Academy Award-nominated actress climb onto an Academy Award-winning actress’s face like a little spider monkey and then proceed to ride it to nirvana, this is the movie for you. And, you know what, I ain’t mad about it. Not one little bit. I may have rewatched it, um, for scientific arts criticism purposes. What? I’m only human, OK?

[SPOILERS OVER, YOU CAN COME BACK NOW]

The film also features what may be the earliest historical presentation of lesbian U-Hauling I’ve ever seen. For those still harboring a crush on Kate since her “Titanic” days, it will come full circle as she draws another woman like one of her French girls. Saoirse and Kate squeeze as much chemistry as they can in brief, meaningful glances over cold, dispassionate rocks.

“Ammonite” is a very good film, if not a particularly joyful one. Most of its festive moments (not to mention most colorful ones, in the figurative and literal senses) involve brief encounters with Mary’s upper-crust ex, as played by the always magnificent Fiona Shaw. Otherwise, it seems like the movie goes out of its way to make Kate look as unglamorous as possible – which is fine. Not everyone is Carol Aird. But, we get it, she’s working class and work is hard – especially for women working in a man’s world.

I’ve sometimes grumbled about the trend of lesbian prestige period pieces. Sure, lesbians lived in the past when things were tougher and society was different and that’s interesting. But how about we tell some contemporary lesbian stories up in here for a change? We still exist today, you know. (Another reason “Happiest Season” is so damn refreshing in its conventional contemporary appeal.)

In a perfect world we’d have a little of everything. The grim period pieces. The sweeping romances. The cheesy rom-coms. We would have diverse choices. We could choose to be picky about genre. You know, like straight folks get to be every day when they choose between the endless options of entertainment in television, film, music and more created precisely for them and their sexual orientation.

But we’re not in a perfect world, yet – clearly. So we take what we can get and we’re happy it’s taken if nothing else seriously. “Ammonite” is definitely worth seeing, it’s a solidly crafted and at times emotionally aflame story of finding love in a hopeless place. And, we’ll always have that scene. That alone might be enough to rock our worlds, so to speak.

”Ammonite” debuts on Video-on-Demand tomorrow, Dec. 4

My Weekend Crush

Yes, let’s get all the jokes out now. “Portrait of a Lady with Fossils.” “Carol for Rocks.” “The Paleontology Word.” The trailer for “Ammonite,” Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan’s lesbian fossil hunter period romance, is finally upon us and it looks scrumptious but also, um, a tad familiar. Women in frocks. Waves crashing. Bodicies tightening. Unspoken yearning. Women longing for other women while staring sadly into the sea sounds like one of those overly specific genre categories that pops up randomly on Netflix.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, “Ammonite” the movie features intimate sex scenes between Kate and Saoirse including one that “it makes the 2015 lesbian love drama Carol, an awards contender starring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara, seem tame.” I mean, they were relatively tame, if you think about it. Kate, who plays real-life fossil hunter Mary Anning, said of the “explicit” scene: 

“Saoirse and I choreographed the scene ourselves. It’s definitely not like eating a sandwich. I just think Saoirse and I, we just felt really safe. Francis was naturally very nervous. And I just said to him, ‘Listen, let us work it out.’ And we did. ‘We’ll start here. We’ll do this with the kissing, boobs, you go down there, then you do this, then you climb up here.’ I mean, we marked out the beats of the scene so that we were anchored in something that just supported the narrative. I felt the proudest I’ve ever felt doing a love scene on Ammonite. And I felt by far the least self-conscious.” 

So there you have it, lesbian sex is definitely not like eating a sandwich. Unless, well, you use a lot of tongue when you eat a sandwich. Ahem.

I am, as always, excited to see another prestige lesbian drama. Kate has always been a favorite actress of mine, and Saoirse is extremely talented as well. May the story take them somewhere new and interesting (i.e. not in morose queer lady tears, ‘cause we’ve all seen that movie too many times already). I mean, some people in history had to have happy endings, right? Let us hope. Happy safe, healthy and righteous weekend, all.

That Rocks

Looks like we’re gonna see Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan’s Victorian-era fossil hunting lesbian love story (wow, say that three times fast) in the relatively near future. U.S. indie distributor Neon has picked up the period piece, about real-life paleontologist/fossil hunter Mary Anning and a young woman she meets (played by Saoirse) along the English seaside.

According to Deadline, the film is:

“...set in 1800s England, as acclaimed but unrecognized fossil hunter Mary Anning (Winslet) works alone on the rugged Southern coastline. With the days of her famed discoveries behind her, she now searches for common fossils to sell to tourists to support herself and her ailing mother. When a wealthy visitor entrusts Mary with the care of his wife Charlotte (Ronan), she cannot afford to turn his offer down. Proud and relentlessly passionate about her work, Mary initially clashes with her unwelcome guest, but despite the distance between their social class and personalities, an intense bond begins to develop, compelling the two women to determine the true nature of their relationship.”

According to my eyes, the “nature of their relationship” involved the time-tested lesbian stockphoto tradition of touching foreheads lovingly. And, hopefully, smoochies. So many smoochies.

Now, I know - this is another May-December (or at very least May-late October) lesbian relationship movie. But, hey, it worked for “Carol.”

But it’s not the 19-year age difference between between the actresses that has raised some eyebrows as much as the protestations of a distant relatives of Anning’s that she was totally not The Gay. What we do know is she was born the daughter of a poor cabinetmaker and did not receive much of a formal education or credit - at least at the time - for her contributions to the field of paleontology and the ancient sea monsters she unearthed. She never married and never had children, dying at the age of 47.



Director Francis Lee has defended his interpretation of her life in the film saying, in part:

“After seeing queer history be routinely ‘straightened’ throughout culture, and given a historical figure where there is no evidence whatsoever of a heterosexual relationship, is it not permissible to view that person within another context?...Would these newspaper writers have felt the need to whip up uninformed quotes from self-proclaimed experts if the character’s sexuality had been assumed to be heterosexual?”

I mean, good points. The thing about history is is matters who gets to tell it, it matters so much. I have no idea if Mary Anning was queer or not, but it doesn’t seem too much of a stretch to imagine that she was.

So I can’t wait to see “Ammonite,” which appears to be headed for an award season release by Neon. It’s the same film company behind last year’s sumptuous lesbian love story “Portrait of a Lady on Fire.” So, if it’s anywhere near that quality I’d say we’re in for a treat. And Kate’ butch Victorian look is quite something. Maybe her and Gentleman Jack can become poker buddies, is all I’m saying.

20LezTeen

How do I know 2019 is going to be a good and gay year at the movies? Mainstream Hollywood is giving us Bisexuals in Black, Terminator: San Junipero and Captain Marvel-ous, but there will be at least two lesbian movies featuring high-profile casts. Late last year it was announced that Kristen Stewart was in talks to star in a Clea DuVall-penned lesbian holiday rom-com AND that Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan are set to star in a lesbian period piece. Sure, it’s not quite 2018’s Carol Effect wave of movies just yet. But it is a super gay start.

A little more on both projects.

K-Stew’s “Happiest Season” was written and directed by Clea (who co-wrote the script with writing partner Mary Holland). Per its synopsis, Kristen would play a “young woman whose plan to propose to her girlfriend while at her family’s annual holiday party is upended when she discovers her partner hasn’t yet come out to her conservative parents.” K-Stew starring in a contemporary, heartwarming holiday-themed lesbian rom-com? We truly are living in the future.

Kate and Saoirse’s “Ammonite” is set in seaside 1840s England. Kate plays real-life pioneering paleontologist Mary Anning who meets a young, wealthy London woman who is sent to the coast for her “health.”

Butter that popcorn, kittens. It’s gonna be a super gay ride.

My Weekend Winslet

I’ve always loved Kate Winslet; there’s just always been something wonderfully cheeky about her. She seems sort of delightful, in that specifically British way of being delightful. And this interview with Stephen Colbert where she reenacts the famous Jack and Rose on the door scene is no exception. Cheeky, delightful.

The interesting thing about our particular cultural moment we live in right now is how much more we’ve started asking that our celebrities be more than just being cheeky and delightful. As the reckoning against Bad Men continues, so does our desire to see the people we elevate to stardom have a collective conscience on this issue.

Not all of them have succeeded so far. And sadly Kate is among those who seem to have a blind spot when it comes to some Bad Men. She is the star of Woody Allen’s new film “Wonder Wheel,” and has made some rather unfortunate justifications for working with the director. Also there’s the whole “I think on some level Woody is a woman” nonsense.

Like I was saying, disappointing. Of course she is not the first of my favorites to disappoint. (Seriously, Jodie? Are you kidding, J.K.?) But, the good news is people can change their minds. And a bad choice can be admitted. Just look at Ellen Page, who admitted that doing a Woody Allen movie was “the biggest regret of my career.”

It’s beyond time that actors and actresses abandon the “but he was good to me” attitude about these Bad Men. And we must continue to demand more than excuses for not holding them accountable for all of their actions. Cheeky and delightful is nice. Socially aware and responsible is nicer. There’s room on the door for both, Kate, I promise. Happy weekend, all.