Combat ready

Now, I’m no fan of violence, war or fighting. But I am a fan of equal rights and opportunity. So I applaud the news that broke yesterday that the military was lifting its ban on women in combat. Because being equal means just that. The opportunity to do the same work, face the same challenges, make the same sacrifices and reap the same honors as everyone else. And I also applaud it because it makes conservative nitwits like Tucker Carlson angry at feminism. Which, you know, bonus.

But me being me and all, I must celebrate this historic step in women’s rights the only way I see fit. With hot ladies in uniform, of course. Women of the military, both fictional and real, we salute you.

Dana Delany, China Beach

Just thinking about the opening theme gives me shivers.

Heather Peace, Ultimate Force

Hot Cop meet Hot Soldier

Glenn Close, Serving in Silence

Just think, movies like this won’t ever have to be made again.

Rose Rollins, The L Word

Is it weird that when DADT was lifted, I thought, “Oh, good, now Tasha will get her full benefits.”

Jessica Biel, Stealth

I never saw this movie, but the costume department deserves some sort of award.

Jordana Brewster, Annapolis

I also never saw this movie, but ditto on the costume department.

Michelle Rodriguez, Avatar

Technically she was a solider for hire, but let’s not spilt hairs.

Katee Sackhoff, Battlestar Galactica

Soldiers in futuristic militaries on distant star systems totally count.

Demi Moore, G.I. Jane

Oh, like I wasn’t going to use the one-armed pushup.

A grateful universe thanks you for your service, ladies.

Excellent Service

So, remember how I was super excited about the return of a show with inferred lesbian subtext? Guess what, I’m also super excited about the return of a show with real lesbian stories. See. I’m no monster. I can be a rational, fact-based consumer of televised programming, too. And, believe me, my excitement is very, very real. It seems like forever since we last got a taste of Lip Service, probably because it has been kind of forever. The first season ended in November 2010. So we’ve gone well over a year without having a major show on our televisions just about women who sleep with women. Granted, it’s about more than that. We aren’t just our naughty bits. But, be honest, we really love this show because we don’t have to use a straight filter or gay goggles when watching. We can just enjoy the pure, unadulterated lady lust. Can I get an ahymen?

You know, as much as we complained – and boy did we complain – about The L Word, we also watched the hell out of it. Because it was ours and ours alone. And there is still, in 2012, a real hunger to see ourselves reflected back to us. While representation has gotten better – we’re sprinkled through a dozen or so North American shows right now – it’s still in many ways limited. And while it’s great to be part of ensembles, heavens is it fun to watch us all in a group.

p.s. What in good God have they done to poor Laura Fraser’s face? It’s like “When Photoshop Attacks: Demon Head Replacement.” Well at least Hot Cop looks good. We’d have come after them if torches if they touched Hot Cop’s face.

p.s. I got so excited for the lesbian action I forgot to tell you that Lip Service returns Friday, April 20 on the BBC3.

Just my type

I’ve never really been the kind of person to have a “type.” I like the infinite variations and unique particularities that makes each woman so different and so delightful. Red hair. Blonde hair. Pale skin. Mahogany skin. Green eyes. Brown eyes. Why choose just one when you can have the rainbow? But it seems, at least for the time being, I’m going through a very definite phase. I can’t tell if it’s one of these, well, passing things. Or if it’s here for good. Because right now I’m in a serious dark-haired, impossibly cheekboned, deliciously accented women of the United Kingdom phase. I’m not entirely sure how this phase got started. I mean, we all dabble in college. But it’s safe to say my phase is now a full-blown obsession. It seems every new star I’ve developed quick, complete crushes on of late has been one of these dark-haired, impossibly cheekboned, deliciously accented women of the UK. While I’ve already confessed at length to my Anglophia before, this is a very specific kind of Anglophilia. So while I still am reluctant to say I have a type, I’ll admit that the next dark-haired, impossibly cheekboned, deliciously accented woman of the UK who walks my way will definitely get a head swivel. And then some.

Hayley AtwellI had absolutely no interest in seeing “Captain America.” And then, Hayley happened. She is also, you might remember, the actress Emma Thompson almost got in a row with producers about because they wanted her to lose weight. Anytime Emma Thompson almost comes to fisticuffs over you, well, you know you’re something special.

Heather PeaceHot cop is hot. End of discussion.

Katie McGrathI cannot even put into words how attractive I find Katie. I almost have to stop myself from stroking the screen each time I see her. I just want to touch her face. And, um, possibly other stuff.

Pippa MiddletonI know, I know. Laugh if you must. But once I saw Hot Sister in That Dress at The Wedding, I was a goner. Because, while I am also not a butt girl either, dayum.

Marsha ThomasonThey should give Marsha more occasion to use her real accent on White Collar. They must.

Lara PulverShe played Sookie’s fairy godmother (yes, really, her fairy godmother) on “True Blood.” I can’t be the only one who thinks she looks like a dark-haired Jodie Foster, right?

Lena HeadeyClearly, Lena is not a new girl crush for me. But my God, her face – her magnificent, magnificent face.

I take everything back. Lena is my type. Exactly, totally, 100 percent my type. So, you know, dibs.

p.s. Keep in mind, kittens, these are all new or newish crushes (with the exception of permanent crush, Lena). I have so, so many long-standing crushes on other dark-haired, impossibly cheekboned, deliciously accented women of the UK. So many.

Hot Fuzz

So when this whole “Lip Service” business started everyone assumed Frankie’s Ruta Gedmintas would be the show’s resident lesbothrob. She was the “Shane” of the group (yes, yes – I know she’s not Shane). She did all the moody looking through her hair and randy dropping of her skinny jeans. She was the bad girl. But a funny thing happened on the way to fandom, everyone started swooning over the good girl instead. Sure, we still love us some Frankie. But bring up Detective Sergeant Sam Murray to a group of gay ladies and you’ll hear a chorus of, “Ooooooh, the hot cop.” Yes, hot cop is hot – and ridiculously so.

I’ve been trying to analyze exactly what makes Hot Cop so hot. (For science, obviously.) And what I’ve come up with is actually pretty simple. Sam is your dream girlfriend. Hot, smart, strong, accomplished, calm, confident, happy to have sex on her office desk. She is proof that good girls aren’t boring, they’re just good – at lots of really good things.

All the credit in the world must be given to out actress Heather Peace for making Hot Cop so very hot. She had taken what could have been a somewhat two-dimensional role (good, stoic cop lady) and turned her into an infinitely relatable and desirable character. As the only out cast member she brings a needed authenticity to her part. We know her. She doesn’t wear a lot of makeup. She does wear a lot of tight button-down shirts. She hasn’t got time for bullshit. She has got a shitload of swagger. She swigs beer like a fucking champion. (In real life she can apparently swing like a fucking champion, too, because she is also a jazz singer.) Wait, have I mentioned she is really hot?

I know we’re supposed to want Cat and Frankie together, I know that. And part of me does – first loves and all. But another part of me says screw that head case. Stay with the hot cop and have hot sex in the backseats of taxis forever and ever.

Thank you, Heather Peace/Hot Cop/Det. Sgt. Sam Murray. I will now make the obligatory joke about you being welcome to handcuff me and/or give me a firm frisking anytime.

Also, thanks for this. Guess it’s Naked Lady Monday after all. NSFW, obviously, clearly, very much so. You’re welcome. [Click to enlarge, which goes for all the images, you big perv.]

p.s. My friends over at Feromoon would be more than happy to help you catch up on all the Hot Cop action of “Lip Service.” Enjoy.