Showing posts with label Erin Cummings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Erin Cummings. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

From the mailbag

Um, you remember that little, demure, understated movie called “Bitch Slap” I told you about last week? I believe words like “awesome” and “genius” and “breasts” were bandied about. Well, now let's add “friendly” to the list. Yesterday, I opened my email only to find this:
Subject: Erin Cummings from Bitch Slap

Dear Ms. Snarker,

Thank you for the witty and captivating article that you posted about "Bitch Slap." Since our invasion of Comic-Con a few weeks ago, several sites have posted reviews of bitchslapmovie.com, the film's poster and, of course, THAT TRAILER! However, none made me double over with giddiness and giggles in such a way as yours.

I was blown away by the overwhelming support and excitement that your readers offered in their comments. Thank Goddess - women who get it! Yes, this film has gratuitous cleavage shots. Yes, sexual innuendo permeates every line of dialog. Yes, it is reminiscent of all those terribly trashy B films that are so obviously driven by a male point of view. And that's why this film is so much fun - we're in on the joke too! In the slow motion shot where I emerge from the smoky inferno with the massive machine gun, I felt powerful and alive and uber-sexy. I felt that way because I remember seeing Bruce Willis get to do similar things in "Die Hard" and feeling that I, as a woman, might never get those "glory shots." I might not get to be the hero and save the day (or the girl). In this film I do.

Again, I cannot thank your readers enough for their interest and excitement over the film. I can say with most certainty that they will not be disappointed and I look forward to your thoughts as future trailers and, ultimately, the film are released. Your words very much appreciated by each of us.

Sincerely,
Erin Cummings

p.s. - Yes, that is me kissing Julia in those shots. However, I also kiss America. And America kisses Julia. We each kiss each other. It's complicated...
Um, wow. Erin plays the red-headed, pistol-packing corporate power broker Hel. You might also recognize her as Melissa from the second season of “Dante's Cove.” Look, I was already sold on the movie from the trailer alone, but now I feel like buying tickets by the bushel. Seriously. Great movie or greatest movie ever?

Oh, and for the record, I asked Ms. Cummings' permission to reprint her very kind email and she generously agreed. I have manners, I wasn't born in a barn. Not that I have anything against barns. Or hay. Or rolling in hay. Dammit, I've lost my train of thought. Geez, if this is what repeated viewings of the “Bitch Slap” trailer does to my brain, just imagine what the whole movie will do. Hello cerebral puddle.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Bitch, please

What you are about to see is wrong. What you are about to see is very wrong. What you are about to see is very, very wrong. Well, that is, unless you happen to be one of those people who enjoys breasts, nudity, fights, explosions and hot women kissing. With that said, please click play.



OH. MY. GOD. That was awesome, er, I mean wrong. That was incredibly awesome, sorry, I mean terribly sexist. That was totally freaking awesome! Dammit, I mean inexcusably offensive. Shit, who am I kidding? That was fucking genius. That, my friends, was “Bitch Slap.” [Wonderbra snap (in lieu of hat tip), to babsf!]

And, guess what, I haven't even told you the best part. Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor appear in cameos as – wait for it, wait for it – nuns! Yes, that's right – Xena and Gabrielle are together again. See what I was saying about genius?

Called a modern-day B-movie exploitation film, “Bitch Slap” comes to us from former producers/directors of “Xena: Warrior Princess” and “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys” (Kevin Sorbo also appears...I'm sensing a trend). They've dubbed it a “feminist, thinking man's, wild and crazy over-the-top exploitation film.” I don't know about all that, but I do know there is a little person who plays a female assassin named “Hot Pocket.”

Look out “Citizen Cane,” you've got serious competition for breast picture of all time. Wait, that came out wrong...