My Weekend (Recapping) Crush

So there you have it. The first half of the last season of our “Lost Girl.” I will say I have enjoyed this season more than last – so far. But mostly I just hated hated hated how last year’s storyline just wandered aimlessly with the most pointless new character ever. The Greek gods are much more interesting than The Wanderer. But then, it’s not a terribly high bar. I can see the arc building somewhere, hopefully somewhere interesting that actually pays off. *cough, not The Yawning, cough* As a Doccubus shipper, of course, I’m thrilled with recent developments. But then I also love me some Valkyrie. So Tamsin better just be stunned, dammit. Now Mark, yeah – I could do without that Little Shit. I also think the Hades casting is pretty cheesetastic, in a good way. So now the long way begins. Mostly, I would like the second half of the final season (whenever they finally air, way to leave us hanging Showcase) to live up to the show’s spirit. Yes, it had its flaws. But it was also so much fun at its best. And it certainly had some of the most beautifully lit same-sex love scenes I’ve ever seen, ever. Mostly, I just can’t believe I have eight more episodes to recap. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Thanks for reading the Season 5 recaps so far.

Looking Good

The funny thing about being a member of one of the letters smooshed together in LGBT is how different our various communities actually are. Granted, our mutual otherness in an overwhelmingly straight world and shared struggle for civil rights brings us together for the important stuff. But when it comes to the fun stuff, let’s face it, we tend to like different things. Apart from the first few – actually good – seasons of “Glee” and “The Golden Girls,” I find my entertainment consumption and that of my gay male friends have large areas without much overlap. (Of course, gay men and gay women are not monolithic blocs. I’m generalizing very broadly, clearly.)

This is a long-winded way of saying I surprised myself this week by getting really into “Looking.” Yes, that HBO show about gay guys in San Francisco. Yes, “Looking.” Yes, I like it. Part of its appeal is it is only a half-hour show, which means the time investment is just perfect for me. And then the other part is that it’s pretty good. I enjoy the characters and felt engaged in their lives. It feels familiar while still being that rare show that focuses solely on us gay folks and shows us to be just that – folks. Granted, it could use more women than the one token lady. I mean, there were a ton of dudes on “The L Word” over the years. But, fine, I get it.

I also like that the show, for its very gay male sensibility, still manages to have touchstones that are relatable across the LGBT spectrum and – hopefully – to everyone else watching. Is it perfect, no. But I’m going to stick with it for its flaws. Now the only question is whether liking “Looking” means I have more in common with gay men or straight women.

p.s. I’m totally on Team Richie.

Who you gonna call?

It came across my Twitter feel like a fever dream. “New All-Female Ghostbusters Cast Chosen!” And then I saw who the new all-female Ghostbusters would be. “Melissa McCarth! Kristen Wiig! Kate McKinnon! Leslie Jones!” YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! *pause to catch breath, regain composure, freak out again* YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

The idea of flipping the gender switch on the classic should not be so extraordinary, yet it is. It should not be so exceptional, yet it is. It should not be so experimental, yet it is.

And of course, some dudes already have their fedoras in a wad about the whole thing. How could they. Pandering. Etc. Yet it’s so incredibly commonplace to have a movie with a mostly male cast, that no one even blinks an eye. Consider “The Loft,” which I can’t stop seeing fucking commercials for these days. A bunch of dudes are greatly inconvenienced when a dead woman shows up in the crashpad. No one has accused that movie of pandering to the rich white male demographic, which it portrays. It’s just a thriller. Consider all “The Hangover” movies. A bunch of dudes do stupid shit while drunk. No one has accused that movie of pandering to the overgrown frat boy demographic, which it portrays. It’s just a comedy. Consider “The Expendables,” if you must. A bunch of past-their-prime action stars blow shit up. OK, fine, people accuse it of pandering to the meathead demographic. But it’s still just an action movie.

But put all women in it and it’s a women’s comedy or women’s drama or – shudder – the dreaded chick flick. Are women’s lives and existence so unrelatable to men that we must always identify our gender beforehand so as to separate it from the default, which is – of course – male?

Hey, world, putting women in a movie isn’t a gimmick. Putting women in a movie is the world. Well, it’s 51 percent of the world, at least. What’s a gimmick, what’s pandering, is how much screentime the other 49 percent is allowed to hog right now.

Suit & Tie

I am still not over this. I will never be over this. I would never want to be over this. This it it. Forever.

Winter Song, Take 2

I know I posted this already this winter, but it really is the perfect song to get all my East Cost friends through all the snow and cold. Hope you are having a very happy blizzard. And, for everyone else in other less and/or more snowy parts of the world please accept my apologies for letting January get away from me. It has been a long winter, even if my winter is 60 degrees.

My Weekend (Binge) Crush

You have plans this weekend. You cannot go out. You are busy. You will be marathoning all of “Transparent.” Amazon is being very gracious and streaming the entire first season of the show – all ten episodes – on Saturday for FREE. Yes, free. For 24-hours you can stream at your heart’s content. I could expound on why you should watch “Transparent.” It is rich, layered, hilarious, strange, cruel, generous, beautiful. It is family in all its dysfunction, its potential and its disappointment. But mostly it’s just really good TV.

So now it boils down to simple math problem, really. You have 24 hours. You have 10 half an hour episodes. That’s 5 hours to watch. Split them up however you want. One show in the morning with breakfast. That’s half an hour. Then three shows in the afternoon while lounging around instead of doing the laundry. That’s 1.5 hours. Another two shows with dinner. That’s another 1 hour. Finally finish strong with four shows in the evening instead of aimlessly searching Netflix for something to watch. That’s your final 2 hours. Boom, knocked out the whole season and still have some time left to rewatch a couple episodes of “Orange Is the New Black.”

Or fuck it and watch all 10 episodes in a row like nature intended. Just be sure to buy snacks first. Happy binging weekend, all.

Unbreakable Appeal

Yes, yes, a million times yes. The first trailer for the Netflix series from “30 Rock” creators Tina “My Fake TV Wife” Fey and Robert Carlock is here. “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” is here and she is glorious! I mean it, truly glorious. It’s weird and goofy and includes a doomsday cult. What’s not to like? Oh, also there is Ellie Kemper, Jane Krakowski and Tituss Burgess (D'Fwan! D'Fwan!). Don’t bother me March 6, you know where I’ll be. (My couch, the answer is my couch.)

p.s. Do I now have to call Tina My Fake Streaming Wife? Just checking.

p.p.s. Apologies for the late Lost Girl recap. But it is going up today, I swear.

On Wednesday We Wear Ruby

Stella Carlin. Learn that name. Learn it well. Because come this summer Piper and Alex are gonna be all over Stella Carlin. Probably. But, hey, can you blame them. New of Ruby Rose’s casting for the upcoming third season of “Orange Is the New Black” was welcome for several reasons. One, she is Ruby Rose and Ruby Rose is what I believe the kids today call ATTRACTIVE. Two, Ruby Rose is an out lesbian actress/model/VJ/DJ/tattoo enthusiast. Three, Ruby Rose’s character Stella is said to be a “lust object of both Piper and Alex.” Like I was saying, hey, can you blame them?



Netflix has confirmed that Stella will be a new Litchfield inmate “whose sarcastic sense of humor and captivating looks quickly draw the attention of some of Litchfield’s inmates.” Ruby has already been posting excited photos from the set, which makes me even more excited about the season. More same-sex attraction is always welcome, always. Look out, Pipex, someone just handed you a Rose. Also I cannot wait to hear what zingers Nicky has about tour new arrival.

Secret Agent Woman

While I will freely admit that I stopped watching “Agent of Shield,” I am very much enjoying “Agent Carter.” Just further proof that things in the same universe can still be – and feel – light-years apart. (Granted, I stopped watching Shield after only a handful of episodes, so I can’t comment on its current state…) Anyway, where was I? Agent Carter, now there’s a hell of a dame. I always thought Hayley Atwell’s Peggy was the absolute best thing about “Captain America” – barring (and baring - hubba hubba) Chris Evan’s perfect V-shaped torso.

Peggy Carter is a perfect feminist protagonist for the period. Smart, no nonsense and infinitely capable she is a sly superhero functioning in a world that constantly underestimates her. But instead of dark-rimmed glasses and a tie as a secret identity she hides her super abilities by being the one thing no one of the era expects – a woman. She is a woman who is every bit as good and even a damn sight better than most men at her job.

Sure, it’s frustrating to see her constantly undermined by the specter of sexism. But that’s kind of the point, we’re all supposed to be annoyed by The Sexism and all want Agent Carter to triumph over The Sexism. A show that roots for a female hero to triumph over her sexist male counterparts is pretty alright in my book. So, yeah, I have a new steady Tuesday show.

Also alright in my book is the friendship between Peggy and waitress friend Angie Martinelli as played by “Nikita” veteran Lyndsy Fonseca. Angie and English even already has a shipper name: Cartinelli. I kind of prefer something a little more poetic like English Martini or whatnot. But, hey, who am I to question fandom. Though, I have to think there’s more to nice, Schnapps-offering Angie than meets the eye. Plus, from all of Lyndsy’s Nikita work we know she can kick some serious ass. So it would seem a waste to just have her slinging hash behind a counter the whole time. Plus, don’t these two make a fine couple? Yes, ma’am.

Will You Brittana Me?

Yes, the Birttana proposal happened. Yes, it was kinda sweet. Yes, they’re endgame. But what I really want to talk about his how Glee finally addressed its most important and ignored issue - Kurt’s toothless baby mouth. I mean, I love the guy and all, but for six seasons every time he opened his mouth to sing all I saw was the cavernous maw of a newborn. This epic burn monologue almost makes me happy to be watching “Glee” again. Almost.

http://rampagebb.tumblr.com/post/108315898233/santana-slaying-and-telling-k-urt-how-it-is

Look, I’m past caring about “Glee” in anything more than a nostalgic, head-shaking sense. But after skimming the first three episodes I have to say they’re not totally terrible. Granted it is totally terrible storytelling that a bunch of college dropouts should be hired on the spot to become teachers and coaches without credentials or experience or anything but pretty smiles and pretty voices. But, fine, I’ll suspend the laws of physics and disbelief and pretend that they’re all gainfully employed at accredited institutions to lead and instruct our nation’s youth. Watching this show requires the removal of at least one lobe of the brain already.

Aside from all of that, the big Brittana proposal episode last week actually had a few delicate touches and lovely recalls. Them saying they love each other to infinity. Them snuggling on the bed talking about scissoring. It was nice, OK, it was NICE.

While I still don’t trust Ryan Murphy with lesbian (and really any female character) storylines as far as I can throw a gay shark, I am happy the writers appear to be finally giving fandom with what they deserve. (p.s. Don’t worry, Klainers, I have no doubt your endgame is coming, too. Not a spoiler, just a hunch.) Fans of these characters have suffered long enough. Wrap it up and just make the people who cared so very much about these kids who sang and danced in the middle of class for no reason whatsoever happy.

p.s. Who was that little lesbian who came out of nowhere to hand Santana the ring? Or does Snix just bring her minions with her everywhere she goes?

p.p.s. I did not think the Coach Beiste trans storyline was totally terrible either. I sincerely hope they do something real with it moving forward and not just let it disappear like all those Glee Version 2.0 kids they brought in two seasons ago never to be heard from again.

My Weekend (Binge) Crush

Call in sick. Order delivery. Turn your phone to silent. Let nothing interrupt your glorious binge-watching of the second season of “The Fall.” Let nothing get in the way of your continuous adoration of Gillian Anderson. Let nothing stop your enjoyment of one of the best series on television.

The second season of “The Fall” drops on Netflix today and I cannot recommend it highly enough. If you haven’t watched the first season, don’t worry. There are only five episodes so it won’t take to long to get up to speed. But if you have, dear God, what are you waiting for?

Few shows are so methodical yet so suspenseful at the same time. Few shows so clearly tackle the concept of institutionalized sexism. Few shows are so unblinking in their celebration of smart, unapologetic, sexual female characters. Also, few shows have Gillian Anderson. Jesus, is she fantastic.

And as long as you are marathoning, feel free to check out my recaps for the season as you go along:

- The Fall, Episode 2.1
- The Fall, Episode 2.2
- The Fall, Episode 2.3
- The Fall, Episode 2.4
- The Fall, Episode 2.5
- The Fall, Episode 2.6

Happy watching and weekend, all.

SGALGG: Look at Those Golden Globes Edition

Please, like I’d let a Golden Globes go by without celebrating our favorite golden globes. Granted it was a tad bittersweet this time, as this will be the last year of the Tina & Amy hosting show. But at least Tina dressed up for the occasion. I’m pretty sure she put on the tux just so she could get into a Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals post. So I am only too happy to oblige. So here are some straight gals, and some gay gals, doing just that.

Robin Wright & Gillian Anderson
Most of my best dreams are nowhere near this good.

Oprah & Helen Mirren
And you get to touch some bosoms! And you get to touch some bosoms! And you get to touch some bosoms!

Gina Rodriguez & Ruth Wilson
I really hope they’re plotting world domination, because I would be super OK with them running things.

Cara Delevingne & Rita Ora
Totally over Michelle, I see.

Amy Poehler & Natasha Lyonne
Lesbian twin syndrome, activate!

Uzo Aduba & Taylor Schilling
Chocolate and vanilla swirl, swirl, swirl.

Sarah Paulson & Amanda Peet
Gay/straight lady BFFs. If only they’d make that into a movie. Wait, they already have?

Salma Hayek & Maggie Gyllenhaal
I saw several pictures of these two chatting very intently throughout the evening. Is it weird to be jealous of their conversation? Because I am.

Jill Soloway
Wonderful straight alley, wonderfully weird suit. Also, how wonderful were the wins for “Transparent?” So wonderful.

Julianne Moore, John Legend & Chrissy Teigen
This is for all the bisexual ladies in the house. Also, that’s a sandwich even I have to admit looks pretty tasty.

Lena Dunham, Jaime King, Taylor Swift, Selena Gomez & Lorde have mercy that’s a lot of celebrities in one photo.
This reminds me of a Renaissance painting, but with more A-Listers.

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler
They’re clearly saying, “Please show yourself out. We’re about to make love until the sun comes up. We know you’d like to watch, but clearly you aren’t worthy. Goodnight.” What? Amy is the only person I will allow to touch my Fake TV Wife besides me. We have an arrangement (i.e. I get to watch).

Shade Off: Sophia Loren & Jane Mansfield/Julie Bowen & Sofia Vergara

Nothing like a little Shade Off to describe how I feel on the first Wednesday back to work after my vacation. While I very much appreciate the ladies of “Modern Family” attempting this iconic moment of shade, no one does it better than Sasha Alexander’s mother-in-law and Mariska Hargitay’s mom. Please, as if there was a contest.

Maintext of Interest

Hey, sweetie. Remember when I wondered out loud if I should be watching “Person of Interest” because of the shippy nature of the Root and Shaw relationship? And you were all, yes, dummy. Yes. Well, while on vacation back home I happened to sit down with my mother (who, as previously mentioned, loooooves the show) and finally watched an episode. Boy, did the show show me.

Because the show went there. The show really, really went there. It didn’t tease. It didn’t imply. It didn’t beat around the metaphorical (or literal) bush. It full on went there. [Spoilers if you didn’t see last week’s episode.]

So now, obviously, I am hooked. Quick recap, in an episode meant to illuminate The Machine’s seemingly infinite, nano-second decision-making process we are taken through a series of simulations as the team – particularly the persons of gay lady interest in the form of Amy Acker’s Root and Sarah Shahi’s Shaw – try to save the world (well, stock market) and themselves in a nearly impossible situation.

Watching the episode unfold was fascinating for a number of reasons. First, it confirmed what careful (and gay) viewers have been seeing for a while now. The attraction between hacker Root and sociopath Shaw has been obvious to many, but possibly not overt to all. But, holy crap, did they out it forever last week. At first I thought it was just a little playful acknowledgement of this ship. But then, BOOM, it went full canon. Have no doubt, people, The Machine ships it.



That, my friends, is a stand up, slow clap, hats off moment of a show taking subtext into maintext.

Granted, I’m none to happy about the possibly dead thing. But, also, I have much hope that she isn’t actually dead. (p.s. Sarah Shahi’s pregnancy – with twins – facilitated this storyline in the first place.) And if she isn’t dead, that means at some point the show will have to come to terms with the BIG LESBIAN FEELINGS it unleashed on these characters. Also, how wonderful is it to see Fred and Carmen together? So wonderful. Admit it, they’re good together.



Of course, on the flip side, if she is dead, ugh – really? Another dead queer female character? Don’t even get me started. So let’s just trust The Machine knows what’s good for it and we shall see Shaw again someday.

I don’t know. I really don’t know. But damn this show sure has my interest now. And I, like The Machine, will be watching.

Cats don't have to know our business

And just like that, I’m back. My vacation was nice, mostly relaxing and filled with small children and much snot. Usually at the same time. But enough about me. How about you? Hey, how were your holidays? Did you get a new girlfriend or a new cat or both? I hope so, to both. SNL should just cut the pretense and make Kate McKinnon the star of every skit. Is it too late to add that to their list of New Year’s resolutions?

Vacation Vixen: Naya Rivera

So “Glee” returns for its sixth and final season today. I come at this news with a mixture of ambivalence and nostalgia. I feel nostalgic for the characters I enjoyed what seemed like forever ago. And ambivalent because of that forever ago that I seemed to enjoy these characters. Still, it was sad to see Naya Rivera post about her last day as Santana last month. Walk off into that sunset, little Cheerio. It was nice knowing you.

Vacation Vixen: Lucy Liu

“Elementary” is back form its winter break today. At first I was worried the addition of Kitty to the show would take away from what made Watson so special. But now I’m just thrilled it means this is finally a show that passed the Bechdel Test basically every week.

Vacation Vixen: Queen Latifah

How excited am I for the new Bessie Smith biopic featuring Queen Latifah? SO EXCITED AS THIS CAPS LOCK CLEARLY INDICATES, DUH. Adding to my excitement is that it is being directed by out filmmaker Dee Rees, who gave us the excellent “Pariah.” IS THERE AN EXCITEMENT LEVEL ABOVE CAPS LOCK? That’s how excited I am. Hurry up and give this thing a release date, HBO Films.

Vacation Vixen: Angie Harmon

So only six more weeks until we find out if Jane survives that jump off the bridge. Spoiler Alert: Duh, she does. It got renewed for a sixth season, people. Also, good for you, Angie Harmon.

Vacation Vixen: Lost Girls

Oh, you crazy Lost girls (and honorary Lost girl, Dyson). I love you, but I can’t believe you’re making me recap during my vacation. I do this because I love you. (New recaps up at AfterEllen each week, hint, hint.)

p.s. Holy shit, last night's episode. Kittens, do we need to taaaaaalk. 

p.p.s. Oh, hey, I am well aware Bo and Tamsin are bisexual and I am quite happy about it. So when I called them "such lesbians" in the context of the recap it was as a joking term of endearment that could be applied to anyone - women who love women or men or both and/or men who love women or men or both. It was referring to their processing, which is a trait often ascribed to lesbians. It was not an official declaration of how I identify them or how they identify themselves. It was a joke, which I like to do in my recaps and hope we all like to do with each other as friends. Precise language is important, but the ability to have a sense of humor about and enjoy each other and our community is also important. And now back to my vacation, which I continue to recap during because, again, I love you. 

Vacation Vixen: Viola Davis

My New Year’s resolution is to finally begin watching “How to Get Away with Murder.” Why? Viola Davis, that’s why.

Vacation Vixen: Caitriona Balfe

It’s 2015, is “Outlander” back yet? Not until April 4? Curse you, space and time. Curse you.