Could our long lesbian nightmare finally be coming to an end? Will Riley finally get her own “Happiest Season”? Well, maybe. Aubrey Plaza says “there’s some movement, yeah” on a “Happiest Season” sequel. She mentioned the idea to the original’s writer-director Clea DuVall and now they really, sorta, maybe, perhaps will start working on it together – like for reals. So, definitely maybe!
Look, I’ll cling to any sliver of good news I can these days. The idea actually started with an in-joke Aubrey added to her new Prime Video series “Kevin,” which I’ve never heard of but gets an A+ in niche lesbian jokes for this fact alone. There’s a movie marquee that reads: “Kristen Stewart and Aubrey Plaza in ‘Happiest Season 2: Riley’s Revenge.”
“You know what’s funny, is I actually forgot that I put that in the show, and Clea and I just had a creative conversation this past week about that [movie],” she revealed. “And I said, like, ‘Hello? Where’s Riley’s happy ending? We gotta start working on this.’ So, we actually are.”
“That is actually true,” she added. “I mean, I think I’m allowed to say that, but I don’t think Clea would care. But yeah.”
Yeah, indeed. Now make it happen so we we can all be the happiest lesbians next season. But for now, happy weekend, all.
p.s. Mazel tov to Aubrey (who with her partner former "Girls" actor Chris Abbott), is expecting her first child. Also, April and Charlie end up together? Did they start as long distance, Pawnee to New York? At least she dumped Andy, he turned out to be a chud.
Gosh do I really, really want to like “Honey Don’t!,” the second neo-noir lesbian thriller from the unconventionally married team of Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke. I really, really do. But, honey, I just don’t.
After last year’s “Drive-Away Dolls” was decidedly mid (am I using that right, youths?), I continued to hold out hope that the second installment of the lesbian noir anthology film series would be better. You know, perhaps this could be a whole learn from your mistakes scenario and make a better movie situation. Alas, that would be a no.
In their second installment, they’ve just swapped out the first movie’s known names (Matt Damon! Pedro Pascal! Beanie Feldstein!) for new known names (Aubrey Plaza! Chris Evans! Billy Eichner!) and kept Margaret Qualley as their lead/muse.
I will say, I like Qualley’s acting better in this film. She never read authentically queer to me in “Drive-Away Dolls” and that accent – yeah, don’t even get me started. So I believe her queerness a little more here, though that’s probably because Aubrey has chemistry with every female co-star ever.
Both films have tried to blend irreverent, screwball humor with edgier, rampant violence to mixed effect. “Honey Don’t!” seemingly has some things to say about patriarchal power structures and the sexual exploitation of women therein. But it can’t help blowing it all up with a “shocking” third act. [Skip the next paragraph if you don’t want to read spoilers.]
SPOILERS: … Yes, they really made Aubrey’s lesbian cop character the killer, and a pretty psychotic one at that. The final showdown scene is fairly horrific/nightmare fuel. Even their earlier bar scene (which, hello, among the straights like that?) and their hookups can’t erase those images. I’ll never look at my tea kettle the same again. /END SPOILERS
Despite my disappointment, I know I’ll end up watching whatever third installment they eventually release. Because, well, I’m a sucker and also as I’ve said I really, really want to like this lesbian noir trilogy. Fool me three times, shame on you, me and the universe I guess.
Leave it to my Fake TV/Film Wife’s Real-LIfe TV/Film Wife to make the SNL sketch of the season. Yes, I know this season has only just begun, but it’s hard to think of a more lesbian sketch than this, so, my statement stands. This also kind of confirms my reasons for not having watching “The Hunting Wives” yet. “It’s like if ‘The L Word’ took place in Yellowstone.” Snort, but also precisely.
I feel like we need to send Amy Poehler a toaster oven for bringing The Aubrey Plaza into that skit. And as a real lesbian, no less!
Also, she deserves a monogrammed toaster oven specifically from me for bringing out Tina Fey not just once but twice.
Hey, SNL, invite more of the show’s female alums back to host. Because when they do, they absolutely kill it. Not that I expected anything less from Amy, even if we’re in the midst of a one-sided TV/FIlm Wife standoff.
I haven’t had a chance to watch “Honey, Don’t!” yet, but don’t worry I will. But I have made the time to watch all 9 minutes and 26 seconds of Aubrey Plaza and Margaret Qualley trying to make pizza together. And why would I not when it is filled with Aubrey calling Margaret “baby” and “mommy” and saying “this is what it would be like if we were married.” And that scene she is describing with the coconut oil? Yeah, I gotta see this movie immediately. If not sooner.
p.s. Does Aubrey just have insane chemistry with every female actress in the world or what?
Look, you made it to another Wednesday in the year 2025. You deserve to see the hand slip seen, gasped at and rewatched (and rewatched, and rewatched) around the sapphic world. Margaret Qualley got extremely handsy with Aubrey Plaza on the red carpet at Cannes for the premiere of their lesbian pulp caper “Honey, Don’t!” Like, I hope she has consent because, goodness. I can’t blame her either, it’s Aubrey Plaza. But, still. If I had gay pearls I’d clutch ‘em.
I think I pinpointed what I didn’t like about “Drive-Away Dolls.” It’s Margaret Qualley playing masc. It just didn’t work for me. I didn’t buy it. But Margaret Qualley in a pencil-skirt and click-clacking heels? Honey, yes. The trailer for the second in a planned trilogy of wacky pulp lesbian flicks by unconventionally (read: they both have girlfriends) married filmmakers Tricia Cooke and Ethan Coen released its trailer. “Honey, Don’t” features Margaret as the aforementioned Honey, a private detective investigating mysterious deaths in a religious group run by Chris Evans. Oh, and Aubrey Plaza plays a cop. I think I might have buried the lede a bit here. *clears throat* AUBREY PLAZA PLAYS A COP. Honestly, I don’t know why I even bothered writing the other stuff. Also, here’s a screengrab of her in her uniform. And not in uniform. You’re welcome.
I will obviously be seated for this. Obviously. And thus ends Lesbian Movie Trailer Week. Happy weekend, all,
Margaret Qualley and Aubrey Plaza will be lesbianing together in a new movie coming out this August from the makers of “Drive-Away Dolls.” I know, it’s pretty exciting and honestly we as queer ladies needed this win. Shit has been bleak. But now the universe rewards us with Margaret and Aubrey (hopefully) smooching a lot. The film, “Honey Don’t!,” will be the second in a planned lesbian pulp trilogy from married (but in an unconventional – read they both have their own girlfriends – way) filmmaking partners Tricia Cooke and Ethan Coen. The first was, of course, the aforementioned “Dolls.”
Now, granted, I liked but did not lovelovelove “Drive-Away Dolls.” It just didn’t gel, for me. I think Margaret Qualley is great (she was so excellent in “The Substance”) and I think Geraldine Viswanathan is great (like so funny in “Blockers”). Alas, they had zero chemistry and their reads on the characters came across too stiff instead of madcapped. A movie about a stolen suitcase full of dildos needs to be madcapped to work. Still, definitely A for effort. I hold high hopes for the trio’s second attempt at lesbian hijinx, because if Aubrey Plaza can have chemistry with Chris Pratt, Aubrey Plaza can have chemistry with anyone. And a woman? No problem. (Also, on a considerably less horny note, I truly hope Aubrey is doing OK after the death of her husband earlier this year.)
Anyway, back to the movie. Margaret will play Honey, a gay private detective investigating deaths at a questionable church led by Chris Evans in Bakersfield, CA. So far Aubrey’s character has only been described as “a mystery woman.” Is it Death? Does she play Death again? Don’t get typecast, girl! Cooke told Autostraddle last year that “Honey Don’t!” was inspired by two 70’s movies I’ve never seen, Robert Altman’s neo-noir satire “The Long Goodbye” and John Huston’s sports film “Fat City,” and the Wanda Jackson version of the song by the same name. Oh, and she also said the movie will have “more sex” than “Dolls.” OK, stop twisting my arm, I already said I would watch!
One of the things about us queers is we love a good confirmation. Of course, we know. WE KNOW. But make it official, and then we KNOWWWWWW. You know? So at Paleyfest late last month when “Agatha All Along creator Jac Schaeffer confirmed that Rio (a.k.a. Death a.k.a. Aubrey Plaza) and Agatha (a.k.a. Mother Hahn) were indeed the mothers/fathers of little Nicky – well, cue queer lady squealing everywhere. May we finally have the wink-wink, but never make it official queer representations of the past behind us. Truly, I think confirmations like this must be for the straights in the audience. You know, the folks still out there going, “So, are they roommates?” Harold, they’re lesbians. They’re all lesbians. And they’re lesbianing together. Cue the squealing in 3-2-1.
Yep, I’m fleeing for the election. Kidding, I’m going home for my birthday this year. And also kind of fleeing from the election. Look, I don’t judge your coping mechanisms. As I was saying… I am fleeing. But I wouldn’t flee without leaving you with some vixens. Tonight being the finale of “Agatha All Along,” I thought I’d leave you with a little Agathario treat. Sure, I can’t dream of a happy ending for our sapphic witches (wait, is that redundant?) But we all deserve a Disney ending, right? I mean, they let Aubrey show off that decolletage. And Agatha called herself not a “straight lady.” So, maybe anything is possible when you wish upon a lesbian star.
P.s. JFC, give Patti LuPone ALL of the awards for her performance in last week’s episode. “I loved being a witch.” Damn. This show is truly something. And that something is stone cold gay (and good!).
Admittedly, I’m not sure if ASMR counts as music. But, it is something people listen to so there’s that. Since Marvel is now fully leaning into Agathartio, I thought you might enjoy a little Agatha Coven ASMR to start your week off. Plus, two out of four of the cast featured here are out queers. And the other two, well certainly Patti and Kathryn is on her way, are queer icons. So, this is basically gay ASMR. I particularly enjoyed Aubrey Plaza calling a matchstick “bitch” (:52) and licking her knife (5:16). Also, don’t worry, this is really only 6 minutes but looped for the full hour. Anyone up for an invigorating nap? I mean who wouldn’t want to fall asleep to Aubrey gleefully stabbing logs (4:43)? Also, about Rio screaming, “No, no way! Her mother can't have her!” at the ghost of Agatha's mother? The ex-who knows all about the familial generational trauma vibes are vibing, my friends. Happy Monday, kittens.
Agathario is canon, y’all! You can’t watch what happened in last week’s episode of “Agatha All Along” and not acknowledge that Kathryn Hahn’s Agatha and Aubrey Plaza’s Rio had a past romantic relationship. All those little looks. All those long looks. That almost freaking kiss. This truly is the gayest Marvel project ever. I mean, just look at these sapphics being sapphic.
I mean even the New York Freaking Times even called Aubrey’s Rio the “romantic antagonist” to Kathryn’s Agatha. If the Paper of Record says it, it’s beyond canon. (Yes, I know, their coverage of many other issues can have many issues, but still...) Anyway, I don’t know what else is in store for Agatha and Rio and all the witches. But I am truly enjoying this show and its ridiculously talented cast. Plus, dissertations could be written about how much chemistry Aubrey Plaza generates between her female costars. Like, she can sizzle with Kristen Stewart and Kathry Hahn – now that’s range.
If you’ve ever wanted to hear Aubrey Plaza and Patti LuPone scream “Fuck off bitch!” at each other while eating hot wings, fuck yeah do I have the show for you. Now, you may never have thought you needed to see Aubrey and Patti grow increasingly more unhinged as the unspeakable heat from some hell sauce sizzles their neurotransmitters. But you would be wrong about that. Because, friends, I plan to save this video and rewatch it whenever I need a quick serotonin boost.
Honestly, this is probably the best 15 minutes you can spend today. Yes, I know you’ll also be able to watch them for another 30+ minutes camping it up in “Agatha All Along” tonight. And, don’t get me wrong, I am super enjoying that super gay show. But this? This is ART. Also, the innuendo! I mean Aubrey literally gushes, “I love you. I’m in love with you. I love you!” Which, truly, same about this whole video. Like I would watch a whole channel dedicated to these two telling stories about each other – especially if at least one of them is wearing a suit. Make it so, television gods! You owe the sapphics for all the canceled shows anyway!
Well, well, well. Look what show is just begging me to bring back Lesbian Subtext Recaps. Yes, I know, in this year of Our Lesbian Jesus 2024 these should be Maintext Recaps. But, you know, this is Disney, after all. Though all the obviously gay chemistry between Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza in “Agatha All Along” is clearly not just in our heads. These women, well, they know what they’re doing. I just hope as the series goes on, it becomes less nudge-wink and more out there. Because, I mean, how much gay can it get than this already? Let me count the ways.
Agnes of Westview/Witch of Easttown carries coffee like this (and that’s not even counting the flannel.)
Aubrey Plaza’s Rio Vidal is introduced like this. Like she’s lesbian David Caruso or something.
Then she proceeds to tell Agatha this.
And then comes over to her place after work and tells her THIS.
Honestly, I was kind of over all the Marvel shenanigans. I’ll watch your Avengers. And some of your spinoff Avengers shows. And some of your spinoff from the spinoff Avenger shows. But, truly, at this point I’m tapped. The MCU? More like Meh-CU – amirite? But then, BUT THEN…Agatha came along. A show with a very strong female lead (at least she’s working on getting her very strong mojo back…). A show about witches. A show about a ragtag coven of witches. A show about a ragtag coven of witches that draws on the Salem lore. A show about a ragtag coven of witches that draws on the Salem lore with Kathryn Hahn! Aubrey Plaza! Patti LuPone! The mom from “That 70s Show!” And SNL alum Sasheer Zamata who just came out as a “late in life lesbian!” And just when I’ve finally settled into spooky season. Yeah, fine. OK, I will happily watch this series. And Emma Caulfield is returning as her WandaVision character for all the Buffy (but not necessarily Joss Whedon) fans out there. As I was saying, yeah, fine. I will watch this in the spirit of the Sanderson Sisters et al. Look, if they can make 10 movies about Spider-Man, they can make a second show about powerful witches. Because, you know, witchy representation matters.
Hey, the delayed Emmys were pretty cool. At least they didn’t have a host who blamed the writers for bombing. Also, some fairly gay stuff happened. Also, I guess this really means I should start watching “The Bear.” Also, fine, yes I know I already featured Tina and Amy. But they almost look like they might kiss here and I have an active imagination.
1) In an evening of pretty good speeches, Niecy Nash-Betts gave the nights most impassioned and most empowering speech. Also did you see her wife, Jessica Betts, escort her up to the Emmy steps? Hot.
2) Pedro Pascal brought his sister, trans actress and activist Lux Pascal, as his date because fuck the right wing persecution of trans existence.
3) Bringing a sister was a trend, as Aubrey Plaza brought hers too. Also very resourceful of her to wear her hotel mending kit as a dress. More reason Abby should have picked her instead of Harper.
4) Don’t fear drag queens, give them Emmys. So sayeth Ru, amen.
5) Like, I mean, the show was so gay they gave GLAAD an award. And you’d better believe I loved seeing Wilson Cruz standing on stage because his LGBTQ+ advocacy throughout his entire career has been so very Rickie Vasquez of him.
6) Fine, there’s nothing gay about Amy Poehler and Natasha Lyonne. But, dammit if there shouldn’t be.
7) While we’re wishing for things, how about a women of a certain (awesome) age lesbian rom-com starring Jennifer Coolidge and Lorraine Bracco? I mean, Jennifer already thanked us “evil gays,” so you know the built-in fanbase is ready. Think of it, Stifler’s Mom and Mama Rizzoli. Make it so, evil gays!
8) Speaking of lesbian rom-coms, I would also watch this movie. Hannah Waddingham and Ariana DeBose could totally do the thing.
9) While there was nothing gay about these two moments either I just thought they were wonderful passing of the torches/trophies from different generations of female comedy geniuses to another.
10) Jodie Foster. Yeah, any time she shows up and throws on a suit jacket I’m gonna notice. Obviously.
I can’t think of the last time I liked an entire episode of “Saturday Night Live” from start to finish. But thanks to the delightfully weird energy of host Aubrey Plaza, last weekend was the weekend. I watched the first new SNL of the new year because I’m still a Riley stan, but with admittedly low expectations. But thanks to Aubrey’s hosting and some better writing, I enjoyed the whole thing from first skit to last. And I think that’s because having a more diverse and inclusive cast and writers room matters. The new cast now includes the first non-binary cast member in the show’s history in comic Molly Kearney joined by out LGBTQ+ castmates Bowen Yang and Punkie Johnson. To wit, Aubrey's episode was gay as hell, but not in a way that necessarily makes fun of LGBTQ+ people to punch down. Instead, one of the skits was specifically about how ridiculous homophobia is — particularly the strain of “no homo” bro culture. I mean, yeah, that was something that even a decade ago I don’t think you would have seen on America’s premiere sketch comedy show. This is a show where for decades having two straight actors kiss was a guaranteed laugh line. So, you know, change is good. So here’s a look at the gayest sketches from last weekend’s show. Aubrey, who is out and bi, of course makes them all gay. But that’s besides the point.
Two butch Arizona lesbians skypeople posing as Na’vi in basketball shorts and tanks? Look, if I can invest nearly three hours of my life watching a bunch of straight elongated Smurfs, the rest of the world can enjoy some blue Hundred-Footers from the American Southwest for a change. Amiright?
We all know cis gay boy circuit party culture is the ripest of LGBTQ+ cultures for parody. And we all know gay men really do love unhinged plastic women. Those are just facts, hunty.
And, finally, even the preview for last week’s episode were super gay what with Aubrey and Chloe Fineman making out because, honestly, everyone just wants to watch Aubrey Plaza make out with women. That’s another fact, you lil homos.
I honestly don’t think I wrote about the first season of “The White Lotus.” Not that I didn’t think it was well done and worth watching. The HBO Max anthology series set across a chain of expensive boutique hotels has become a sharp-elbowed showcase for its always talented casts. But the first season’s examination of the wretched rich felt down-right cruel in its treatment of its poorer, working-class characters — all the workers’ denouements were worse than their ultra-rich customers. And that’s just depressing. We get enough of that shit in the real damn world. Also there weren’t any lesbians in the fist season.
Luckily, the second season took some notes and while its still a tragi-comedy with cutting commentary on the lives of the 1% and dynamics of social power, the show has chosen to shift away from wealth as its theme this to sex. Yes, I know that probably makes me sound horny. Look, I’m newly single. Times are, uh, tough. Anyway. If you haven’t watched the season finale be warned, SO MANY SPOILERS AHEAD.
So the most welcome thing about the new season is that the working-class characters finally, finally get to triumph. And aren’t, you know, accidentally murdered by hotel guests. This season, set in stupidly gorgeous Sicily, continues the show’s posh, ominous tension.
Also, this season had Aubrey Plaza, Meghann Fahy, more Jennifer Coolidge and an actual lesbian character who does not die. Yes, that’s right, the lesbian gets a happy ending as do pretty much all of the show’s less wealthy, working-class characters — heck, even the working girls. Now, isn’t that fucking refreshing?
Valentina, played to perfection by Italian actress and comic Sabrina Impacciatore gets a truly lovely arc, as well as some of the show’s most quietly moving moments (I just loved her back alley lunch with the street kittens). Granted, this is still another form of coming out story — but it’s an old chestnut for a reason. But you got the sense that you really witnessed the moment someone’s life changed — and for the better. And that sex scene with Beatrice Grannò’s Mia was, well, hot. It was hot. Yes, I already copped to being horny. Leave me alone.
Maybe it’s because I binged the second season all in one day (I wanted to watch before the finale could be spoiled on Sunday), but it wasn’t too tricky guessing the key plot points. Of course Albie got scammed. Of course Portia went for the “hot” boy instead of the “nice” boy. Of course Dominic will cheat again. Of course those high-end gays were trying to kill Tanya. Also, do you think Aubrey’s character being called “Harper” is the universe fixing the ending of “The Happiest Season?”
Now, was I expecting Tanya to go on a murderous rampage at the end, only to accidentally off herself? Well, a little. I was pretty sure the body in the water from the first episode was Tanya’s (the show even foreshadowed how she dies with Valentina’s concerned expression as Tanya got off the boat to come to the resort in the first place, watch again, she indeed does). But the shooting all of the faux upper crust queers on the boat? No, I was not expecting that. Is having Jennifer Coolidge onscreen murder gays a hate crime? Did we just beat ourselves up in a parking lot? I kid. But it sure was a twisted love letter to Jennifer’s status as a queer icon.
Right, so, thoughts? Did you like the second season? More than the first? Also is anyone else hopelessly earwormed by the show’s theme song? As soon as the “woo-woos” drop, admit it, you do them along with the music. And if you don’t, omg, try it. It’s so fun. Look, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. That song’s a banger, period.
Well, now I can’t wait to book myself into the third season of “The White Lotus.” Just, please, keep giving us the “woo-woos” and lesbians.
What, two days of good news in a row? The new “Agatha: Coven of Chaos” (a spinoff from the pretty excellent “WandaVision”) is shaping up to be pretty excellent as well. In addition to its bewitching (see what I did there) lead Kathryn Hahn, the series will star Aubrey Plaza (yes, that Aubrey Plaza) and SNL alum Sasheer Zamata (and also Joe Locke, if you’re a “Heartstopper” fan).
“WandaVision” is by far the favorite so far in the Marvel Television Universe, but then I’m always partial to shows with a so-called Strong Female Lead. And if it’s Strong Female LeadS, well all the better. Look, I’ve been into witchy stuff since at lease Willow and Tara. So I am ready for some coven chaos, and if they smooch then all the better. Do I expect them to smooch? No. But Kathryn, Aubrey and Sasheer have all played gay/smooched ladies on screen already, so why fix what ain’t broke?
p.s. Instead of a Pre-L, this week I’ll just do an premiere episode review instead. I plan to have it up Friday but, again, everything has been moving more slowly for me lately – so intentions and results may not always coincide. I hope to Pre-L the rest of the season, but again we shall see. Thanks for sticking with me.
Our linger crush on Aubrey as Riley from “Happiest Season” has not subsided and indeed only grown stronger. I keep seeing clips of her kissing Alison Brie in some new movie and I am the opposite of mad about it.
