Put a Ring on It

Well, isn’t this an interesting predicament. Celebrating the federal government’s continued recognition of same-sex marriages as valid and legal, while my own real same-sex marriage is ending. Life, ain’t it a kick in the crotch?

Still the Senate’s passage of the Respect for Marriage act yesterday is an important step in protecting queer relationships — past, present and future — across the country. The House is expected to pass the bill early next week followed by President Biden’s signature into law. And, voila, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer folks will be able to continue to get married and have those marriages recognized by the federal government.

But, and this is a very big but, it does not truly “codify” same-sex marriage as legal in America. Right now, under the combined protections of Obergefell v. Hodges and United States v. Windsor SCOTUS decisions, all states and the federal government must allow and recognize same-sex marriages.

But, the Respect for Marriage Act only keeps a portion of those protections — namely that states must recognize other states’ legal marriages as legal. But the Respect for Marriage Act does not mandate that all states must allow or perform same-sex marriages. Instead is just requires that same-sex marriages from states that allow same-sex marriages must also be recognized by other states, whether those states allow their own same-sex marriage or not.

Also it gives nonprofit religious organizations of all kinds — churches, universities, medical facilities, charities, adoption agencies, you name it — a pass and says they do not have to provide “goods or services for the celebration of any marriage, and could not lose tax-exempt status or other benefits for refusing to recognize same-sex unions.”

So basically that means it lets any group calling itself a “religious organization” to continue to discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community without the risk of losing their tax-exempt gravy train. Neat-O. I thought the religious right was against special interest groups getting special rights! Just kidding, only they want rights.

We get to call this thing “bipartisan” because 12 Republicans said “Yes.” But they wouldn’t vote yes unless they got it written into law that these so-called religious groups can continue their fucking around as hateful bigots without the finding out phase of losing any of their privileges/powers. Again, that concession got 12 Republicans on board. The remaining 36 Republicans — the vast majority of their caucus — voted no. Again, I am begging the mainstream media to call Republicans an anti-LGBTQ+ right party in their reporting, because it is true.

While I certainly applaud the much-needed protections the Respect for Marriage Act presents, it is s stop-gap and not the full enchilada of rights. In essence, depending on where you live you can or cannot get married in your state depending on where you live. So, not exactly codifying.

Also, just in case you’re thinking, “But what state ban gay marriage in this day and age?” Well, may I direct you towards the more than 300 anti-trans/LGBTQ+ bills introduced this year in various statehouses this year alone as a “Like hell they wouldn’t!”

Indeed, if the Far-Right Wing of the Supreme Court (or, I like to call it, the Supreme Court) was to overturn Obergefell — as Thomas and Alito are licking their chops to do — some 35 states currently have laws on the books that would ban legal marriage recognition for LGBTQ+ couples in some form. Granted, one would hope that many of those states would reverse those old Defense of Marriage Act-era bans. But if you look at the climate for queer people right now, it’s easy to see a path where the “OK Groomer” crowd makes our lives even harder than they already are in statehouses and governors mansions across this country.

As long as bigots are allowed to continue their bigoted practices without the fear of any kind of consequences, they will continue to be bigots forever. With this SCOTUS we need to go all in on protecting LGBTQ+ right, women’s rights, BIPOC rights, immigrant rights, disabled rights, worker rights, you name it. So while I’m happy for all the happily married queers — past, present and hopefully future — out there who know their relationships are safe, I implore Democrats and progressives to push against hatred because the other side uses it as their rallying cry instead.

And, who knows, maybe even I will get married again — someday. I mean, I really did like being married…a lot. So, mazel to all the married queers. Now let’s go get the whole brass ring of rights.

p.s. Yes, that’s us and our rings. I miss wearing that ring.

Food for Murder

Damn, am I going to have to get an Acorn subscription now? Because I am being thrifty as possible now, I took full advantage of a free Acorn trial I had this weekend and watched the entire first season of “Recipes for Love and Murder.” I already mentioned how thankful I was to stumble upon it before the holiday weekend. But now, after watching the show’s entire first season, I can confidently say I think this show was possibly custom-made for me. Like, for real. It’s almost creepy.

Why do I like this show? Let me count the ways. It’s a crime series (a local woman is found murdered). It’s got a talented female lead (“Orphan Black” alum Maria Doyle Kennedy). It’s got a foreign setting (in this case rural South Africa). It has a diverse and likable ensemble (I realize the racial politics of a South African series may be fraught, so I will let others with more expertise comment on how well that portrayal was made on screen). It’s got a lot of cooking (seriously, at times it’s like GBBO but with murder). And, extra special bonus points, it’s about a writer (ink-stained wretch solidarity forever).

I appreciate the show’s laid-back approach to murder and mayhem, complete with cast of small-town oddballs. I also appreciate the “Murder She Wrote” crossed with “Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat” and “Dear Abby” aesthetic. Because our heroine is a recipe columnist turned advice columnist (who still uses recipes in her advice) at the small-town paper. And there’s also a mysterious backstory, and who doesn’t love a mysterious backstory?

Also, did I mention there are gays? One of the murdered woman’s best friends/who has an unrequited crush on her is a lesbian and one of the first letters involves a queer male couple. Do they pile on the melodrama and the pathos toward the end? Of course. But by that point you’re invested and did I mention there is cooking in basically every episode?

So, has anyone else found this little gem? And, if I do spring for Acorn, what else is good on there? I see Lucy Lawless has a show on there and, well, I am a gay woman so I probably cannot resist.

Music Monday: Landslide Edition

Ignore Gwyneth Paltrow and pretend her Goop-y, mall mayor supporting ass and just immerse yourself in the pathos of Santana and Brittany, Naya and Heather once more. A little emotional release after a long holiday weekend feels, well, right, Happy Monday, kittens.

Pre-L: Los Angeles Traffic (302)

You wanted Pre-Ls, you’re getting Pre-Ls. Today’s is a tad late what with the holiday and all. But today’s is also TiBette Endgame Valhalla. Did they crib extensively from the ending of “Imagine Me & You?” Obviously. Am I made about it? Obviously not. If only Bette had screamed, “You’re a wanker No. 9!” the whole of queer female fandom would have fainted from delirious joy. And now, onto the caps. As always, there be spoilers ahead. That’s, like, the whole point.

1. It’s. All. Happening.

2. Nope. Still a nope from me.

3. Still Shane, after all these years.

4. This scene was a gift for the O.G. TiBetters.

5. Well at least they never tried to make them date.

6. Hardest nope. This whole storyline on my queer female show is a no thank you very much.

7. Why get an Uber when you can have offspring is an angle of parenting I never considered.

8. Someone please splice this scene with Luce running for Rachel. I mean it, I would pay cash money.

9. Yep, endgame.

Just Thankful

Well, it’s Thanksgiving here in the states. And not to get all kumbaya, but despite everything that has happened recently I do have things to be thankful for this holiday. My health, lingering head cold notwithstanding. The split-custody arrangement I’ve made with my ex so we both get to see the dog. And, of course, you kittens.

I am still muddling my way through all of my thank yous and responses (my inability to do this quickly is in no way reflective of my feelings of gratitude for your generous donations and support — it’s just been emotional going through them, honestly, and some days I’m all full up on emotions).

Still, because this is still a super gay pop culture blog, here are some on-topic things I am also thankful for this year. So without further ado-ing, here’s my random Thanksgiving thankfulness list:

1. That Cate Blanchett keeps playing gay ladies in really well-tailored clothing.
2. “Everything Everywhere All At Once,” just the whole damn movie, was truly a gift of equal parts absurd and sublime and any story that boils down to “Just love your lesbian daughter” is a great in my book.
3. “NCIS: Hawaii,” yes it’s crazy that a CBS spinoff crime procedural has one of the best, least problematic lesbian relationships on television right now. I just want Lucy to finish her stint on the Big Boat/whatever side project she has booked and return to Whistler’s gigantic embrace now.
4. This Acorn TV free week so I an watch all of “Recipes for Love and Murder,” a South African show about a recipe/advice columnist (played by the wonderful Maria Doyle Kennedy from “Orphan Black”) for a small local paper who helps the townspeople through her food/advice. So many queer storylines already, and unexpected yet somewhat hilarious gunplay. Recommend!
5. Another season of “The L Word: Generation Q.” As much as we love to complain about our show, it is still our show and we have grown and lived and fought and fucked and all the other lyrics of the original theme together. Of course we want to see how this all ends. Of course.
6. You. As always, kittens, you have made this year immeasurably better and truly lifted me up during one of the most difficult times I’ve experienced in my life. I am thankful for your generosity, concern and genuine care. If nothing else, I’m a gal with a blog and lots of friends who come by every day to read it and visit. And that’s quite something.

Enjoy your feasts today, kittens. And have a very happy Thanksgiving and/or Thursday to all who do and do not celebrate.

p.s. This will be my final pitch with Ye Olde My Little Life Implosion Fund. You have been so amazingly generous, and it is helping me immeasurably. Again, thank you.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

Renew ALOTO Already

Maybe it’s my terrible head cold (It’s not Covid, I tested five days in a row – just an old-fashioned head cold), or maybe it’s my salty-sad attitude about life in general these days, but WHY THE FUCK HAVEN’T THEY RENEWED “A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN” FOR A SECOND SEASON? Why? WhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhy? WHY? W-H-Y?

The series is a carefully crafted improvement on the original film, bringing in needed marginalized voices in a way that both celebrates those communities and remains entirely historically accurate. Queer women played in that league, but the prevailing homophobia of the time meant they just couldn’t be out and proud and therefore were easily erased by mainstream history. And Black women, of course they were more than talented enough to play in that league, but the prevailing racism of the time meant they were never even given the chance.

Amazon Prime is dragging its feet on renewing a show that was both lauded by critics and adored by fans. And these aren’t just any fans, these are queer women fans. And once you’ve got us, *slow whistle*, you’ve got us forever. So stop your stalling, renew this excellent and important series already. I mean, a show like this is chump change for Papa Bezos. I know every billionaire is a policy failure, but maybe just one of those dudes could do something nice for us instead of just being predictable cartoon villains. Granted, if I could have a billionaire do anything it’d be to actually solve climate change or end world hunger or find permanent shelter for every unhoused person. And then, my next ask would be to renew “A League of Their Own.” Anyway, did I mention I have a head cold?

TV Review: TLW:GQ Season 3 So Far

Right, so maybe it was the two gummies I took. Or maybe I’m just getting soft in my advanced age. But, um, I rather enjoyed the first four episodes of the new season of “The L Word: Generation Q.” Like, don’t get me wrong, they gloss over a whole bunch of things to stutter time jump us forward a year. But then this ridiculous show does what this ridiculous show does best – is make us invest in these characters in spite of their actions and our better judgement.

So, yes, here we go betting sucked RIGHT BACK IN to TiBette despite it being basically settled law for the last 13 years now. But whatever, bam, we’re right back in it.

I think (and, again, it could have been the two gummies) what has made the new season more engaging so far is that instead of chasing whatever all-caps PLOT the show was determined to shoehorn into its seasons – be that breast cancer awareness or corporate culpability in the opioid epidemic (I know, when you write it out it’s still like whaaaaat, ok show, lol) or conservative crusades against artistic expression to addiction (to be fair, they’ve taken quite a few swings at this one, but they really went there with the hall pissing scene so there’s that) – they just let the stories happen.

Instead of all of whatever all that (point to previous paragraph)is , the relationships drive the plots and honestly it’s for the best. Granted because of our uneven investment in the various couples, some of those storylines have more impact than others. But I appreciate that the writers have, at least for now, allowed its stories to grow more organically.

[Spoilers for upcoming episodes]

And, besides some obvious stunt castings (Kehlani as Shane’s latest side chick is, well, good for Kate Moennig), the new season has brought some pleasant surprises with its guest stars so far. One, they’re having Alice date Joey Lauren Adams (who queer ladies of a certain age will no doubt have a soft spot for thanks to repeated watchings of “Chasing Amy” – don’t judge it was slim pickings back in the 90s), which is age appropriate casting at its finest. And two, they brought back Max (Daniel Sea), and acknowledged – even if a tad in passing – the shittiness of the original show’s trans storylines. What they made Max endure were truly, truly shameful. An on-screen apology is the least they could do, honestly.

Oh, and I hate – hatehatehatehate – the storyline they’re giving Angie. Hate it. HATE. But then, that’s what happens when this show decides they want to tackle an “issue” instead of just letting relationships make sense.

Oh, oh, and while I am complaining is this another show that has wasted Margaret Cho’s talents on a way too small part without much consequence? Shame bell, shame bell. (The other one was “Hacks,” so shame bells all around.)

So, how did everyone like the premiere? Hopes for the new season? Because I don’t get Showtime anymore, are they still releasing episodes each week? Do you want Pre-Ls? Or just an endless stream of TiBette caps? Can you believe we’ve been talking about “The L Word” together since before Twitter was even born? Did I mention I took two gummies before starting the new season? Because, yeah.

Hate is Hate

The worst part is none of this was a surprise. When one political party demonizes a group of people just trying to live their lives over and over and over again, this is the inevitable outcome. Five people died and another 18 were injured while out trying to have a fun Saturday night at their local gay bar. This is on the GOP and far-right terrorists who have decided that making trans people the enemy is the best way for them to get votes and therefore power.

But you know the fuck what? Fuck your guns. And fuck your hate.

This is the deliberate outcome of years of antagonizing the easily scared with made-up stories of imaginary threats caused by trans people trying to use the restroom or play youth sports or just exist in public. According to the Humans Campaign, more than 300 anti-LGBTQ bills are pending across state legislatures already this year. Three 300. That’s almost one a damn day. That’s the cause, the mass shooting at Club Q in Colorado Springs in the intended effect.

The only queer space in an otherwise conservative community (which has five, yes five, military bases nearby) was not a random attack. The attacker was known, and made violent threats before, yet still somehow about to obtain the mass shooter’s favorite assault weapon and then some because freedom or whatever.

When you have politicians and right-wing bigots targeting trans and other LGBTQ+ people in coordinated and despicable bad-faith attacks on drag shows, there’s no need to connect any dots. It’s a straight damn line.

Club Q was hosting a drag night and planned a drag brunch the next mornings. Right-wing hatemongers have been calling people at drag shows “groomers.” Someone kills trans and queer people. Cause and intended effect.

The truth is the Lauren Boeberts and Ron DeSantises of the world are grooming a new crop of mass shooters. We said they’d get people killed with their irresponsible, reprehensible lies about trans and queer people. Keep your thoughts and prayers, and stop using us to score cheap political points.

But here’s the thing about us queers. We’re fucking resilient. We shouldn’t have to be. But we have learned how to survive, because it was the only option in a hostile world.

And the thing about gay bars is that even if we don’t go to bars, as a queer person you go to gay bars. Maybe not as a regular, but you’ve gone. And it’s always safe and it’s always welcome. For some of us, it’s the only place where we feel that. That’s the thing about having to always find your family – some places become sacred. So fuck your hate. Fuck your christofascist morality crusades. We’re still going to our places. Because they’re ours.

You can’t scare us away. You can’t terrorize us back into the closet. You can’t harass us out of existence. We’re here, we’re queer. We belong. Your hate doesn’t.

My Weekend Crush

Well, I didn’t quite get to that TLW:GQ premiere review. But I am still going to write it for early next week. Instead I decided to do some self care and took two gummies and watched the GBBO finale and just loved all those adorable dorky bakers. So here’s some weekend self care for you. Cate Blanchett in a suit. That’s it, that’s the self-care. Happy weekend, all.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

Coven of Gayness, err, Goodness

What, two days of good news in a row? The new “Agatha: Coven of Chaos” (a spinoff from the pretty excellent “WandaVision”) is shaping up to be pretty excellent as well. In addition to its bewitching (see what I did there) lead Kathryn Hahn, the series will star Aubrey Plaza (yes, that Aubrey Plaza) and SNL alum Sasheer Zamata (and also Joe Locke, if you’re a “Heartstopper” fan).

“WandaVision” is by far the favorite so far in the Marvel Television Universe, but then I’m always partial to shows with a so-called Strong Female Lead. And if it’s Strong Female LeadS, well all the better. Look, I’ve been into witchy stuff since at lease Willow and Tara. So I am ready for some coven chaos, and if they smooch then all the better. Do I expect them to smooch? No. But Kathryn, Aubrey and Sasheer have all played gay/smooched ladies on screen already, so why fix what ain’t broke?

p.s. Instead of a Pre-L, this week I’ll just do an premiere episode review instead. I plan to have it up Friday but, again, everything has been moving more slowly for me lately – so intentions and results may not always coincide. I hope to Pre-L the rest of the season, but again we shall see. Thanks for sticking with me.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

Two Great Things That...

Well, here is some actual good news (Not the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad news about That Orange Stain from last night. Gross. And never again.) Pink and Brandi Carlile are going to tour together next summer. I know, two wildly talented musicians teaming up to make lesbians and queer women everywhere SQUEAL WITH DELIGHT. Brandi will join Pink on 15 of her 21 dates (but not in my neck of California, alas, that one will be Pat Benatar who is cool and all – but not BRANDI). Just imagine the acrobatics, vocal and physical (Pink’s aerial work gives off pure “The Gymnast” vibes.) Anyway, if Pink and Brandi were coming within 200 miles of me I’d consider it. I hope this dynamic, duo is coming to a city near you instead. Until then, please enjoy this bootleg of the two of them previewing their chemistry at the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame induction of Dolly Parton. Now if it was that triple bill, I’d drive 300 miles, easy.

p.s. Well, I blew my “thank you” deadline because work got crazy. But, I recently made a promise to myself to give myself some grace. Your thank yous are all still coming. I promise. I am just doing everything a little more slowly these days.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

We, The Voters

Well whodathunkit? The Midterm elections weren’t as hideous as I had feared. Granted, they’re not as much as I’d hoped – at least not yet. (Please, let the retaining House control not be hopeium. Please.) As we wait for the long final count (and whatever post non-Red Tsunami depression spin the GOP/Fox News finally comes up with), let us at least celebrate the good news.

• First, of course, we kept the Senate and can grow the lead with the Warnock runoff (of course this means I have a whole additional month of The Rev texting me for money multiple times a day… But still I’ll take it.)
• The first two out lesbian governors are elected (joining first out bisexual female governor Kate Brown and first out gay male governor Jared Polis) in new Oregon Governor Tina Kotek and Massachusetts Governor Maura Healey
• The first out trans man elected to a U.S. state legislature in James Roesener of New Hampshire.
• The first Black governors of Black governor of Maryland in Wes Moore, who is just the third Black person ever elected governor in U.S. history (which is pretty embarrassing to say in 2022, but still a win.)
• Statehouses in Michigan and Minnesota flip to Democratic, and Pennsylvania is close to following while several Democratic governors were elected or reelected including badass Gov. Big Gretch(en) Whitmer.
• Every election-denying Republican secretary of state candidate running in a swing state LOST, and several election-denying GOP governor candidates (buh-bye, Kari “Vaseline Filter” Lake, Doug “Confederate Soldier” Mastriano) lost too.

And those are just a few of the progressive firsts and big wins. All were a long time comings. But all well worth celebrating.

The pandemic has not exactly been great for anyone with a working sense of empathy. If you’re like me, it’s made me less hopeful about the world. And it definitely hasn’t made me like people more. I’ve always been misanthropic, but in a nice way. But now I simply cannot feel nice about people who are unabashedly selfish and unashamedly uninformed. The pandemic revealed there will always be a certain percentage of people who are just, well, assholes. And while the assholes may be the loudest, ugliest, more loathsome among us, these election results make me at least feel like we’ve held back the tide of shitheads a bit. And these days, a bit feels like a damn win.

p.s. My goal is to get back to everyone who commented, donated, wrote today. Please know my slowness is in no way relative to my level of appreciation and thanks. The exact opposite, truly.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

Music Monday: Back to Amy

Oh, Amy, Amy. It’s been eleven years since Amy Winehouse’s passing, but her talent continues to blaze through space and time. Just think what she could have accomplished without the demon of addiction. Just think what she could have accomplished this past decade. Yet Matthew Perry still walks amongst us. Also, the lady could sing a mean breakup song. Just saying. Happy Monday, kittens.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

My Weekend (High School) Crush

Sometimes you go into a show without any expectations and you leave feeling energized by the evocative power of a simple story told exceptionally well. “High School” is that rare series that draws you in through its sheer relatability, making it feel like a slice of your own life is being told even if you don’t grow up to be part of one of the most influential queer duos in music history. Based on the memoir by the same name by Canadian wonder twins Tegan and Sara, this sweet and unhurried story is sure to melt even the most cynical Gen Xers heart.

Now, perhaps I can relate so hard because this falls right into my generational sweet spot. But truly anyone with a firm memory of the 90s should feel instantly transported back to the era of flannel shirts, combat boots and perma scowls. Plus, if you’ve ever had a fraught relationship with a sibling growing up, you’ll recognize the push-pull that simmers under the surface between you and the person you’re probably closest to in the world, but also sometimes hate with every last fiber in your body.

What “High School” also does exceptionally well is capture the claustrophobia of being a closeted teen in the 90s. The ethereal thrill of like-liking someone for the first time. The stomach-churning panic of discovery because no one can know the person you like-like is a girl. The rush of your first queer crush is depicted in a way that is at once so specific yet also universal. We can all relate to the language of longing, but LGBTQ+ people especially will be transported back to the furtive thrill of first love.

Now, remember, this was before Ellen told the whole world, “Yep, I’m gay.” Before rainbow merch was easy to buy at Target. And before anyone running for president would even consider supporting same-sex marriage.

Now, I shouldn’t really have been surprised that “High School” is so good. The show was created by Clea DuVall (who is countless queer women’s root thanks to ber “But I’m a Cheerleader” days) along with Tegan and Sara with fellow writer Laura Kittrell (“Insecure,” “Black Monday”) and director Rebecca Asher (“Frankie & Grace,” “Raising Hope”). They’ve picked two very talented actresses in newcomers Railey and Seazynn Gililand who will instantly transport you back to the feeling of being a teenager again — for better or for worse.

Truly the only downside is this show is on the ridiculously named free streamer Freevee which most people don’t even know if they have, let alone ever heard of. (But, good news if you have Amazon Prime you already have it.)

The eight-episode series excels at depicting the angsty longing that was the hallmark of coming of age in the Grunge era. You’d also expect a show from two musicians to have an impeccably curated 90s soundtrack and “High School” delivers the mix tape of your dreams. Honestly, after watching the show, I’d recommend letting it play again in the background and letting the music wash over you like sonic nostalgia. (It also helps that the show spends a lot of time showing, less time telling and even less time talkings. It’s all 90s vibes, no filler.)

You can tell DuVall and her team have a deep respect for “My So-Called Life,” the one-season wonder of the mid-90s remains the gold standard for teenage coming of age shows. Like MSCL, “High School” excels at capturing the awkward searching of your teenage years while also offering a more rounded view that realizes these teenagers aren’t the only people on the planet. Also like MSCL, the show’s parents are given more to do than pour orange juice and ask when the kids will be home tonight. But then with Cobie Smulders playing their mother, how could they not. As she studies for her social work degree, her character Simone has her own career and stresses and dreams (including those of escape from it all, including her family).

In perhaps the show’s biggest hat tip to MSCL, in the pilot episode one of the characters invites the twins to a party by saying, “It’s gonna be the time of your life. Or at least a time of your life.” Those with great 90s memories will remember in the pilot episode of MSCL, Angela, Rayanne, and Rickie try to get into a club but end up drinking in the parking lot instead and are hit on by older guys who definitely should not be hitting on teenagers. The next day, Rayanne recounts the Very Big Adventure by saying, “I'm telling you! We had a time. Didn't we. Didn't we have a time.”

You will have a time with “High School,” you really will. Happy weekend, all.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

Movie Review: Tár

“Tár” are a bit of a Rorschach test for the #MeToo era. Either you see a cautionary tale about throwing out the art with the artist. Or you see a pretentious journey through the world of elite art. Or, in the rare third option, you just think Cate Blanchett is hot and wanted to watch her wave a baton around.

Hailed as more irresistible Oscar bait for Blanchett, “Tár is indeed a showcase for her singular talents and screen presence. When she walks into a room as Lydia Tár, she eats up the whole space with her impeccably tailored swagger. This is a story told solely from her character’s perspective, and she makes the most of her monopolization.

Her Tár is the kind of cis white woman institutions love to elevate, a protege of maestro extraordinaire Leonard Bernstein who shows proper reverence to The Greats. Sure, she’s also a “U-Haul lesbian” married to her concertmaster wife with a young child at home. But she’s firmly One Of Us instead of One of Them when it comes to gatekeeping the world of classical music.

The movie takes its sweet (or sour, depending) time getting anywhere near its narrative point. We get a thorough portrait of an EGOT with the world on a string — private jets, bespoke suits, rapt audiences. Then we slowly watch it all unravel as we learn this exquisite specimen of The 1% is actually a female version of the all-too ubiquitous sex pest who seduces young proteges only to torpedo their careers when things go south.

Through the course of the movie you can’t help feeling that director Todd Field, who came out of a 16-year hibernation to make this movie, feels dueling contempt for his subjects. First, he clearly feels some kind of way about so-called “woke” politics and cancel culture, turning a “BIPOC pangender” student who dares criticize Bach into a villain foil for Lydia who holds traditionally exultant views of the classical canon. And second, he may in fact not like his lead character that much given everything he puts her through — particularly the film’s final, schadenfreude-filled frames.

The other thing about “Tár” is it’s way, waywaywayyyy, too long. At over two and a half hours, the movie meanders when it should be razor sharp. The tautness that should make a movie like this snap is lost over 158 minutes. The film’s forays into semi-hallucination and mental mazes are left like breadcrumbs, but they’re too far apart to truly lead us anywhere.

Indeed, the first 20 minutes run like a real-time New Yorker talk between real-world New Yorker writer Adam Gopnik and fictional luminary Lydia Tár. You’ll either be engrossed by the verbose acumen of the intelligentia set, or you’ll be confused why this is starting the movie.

Now, for some of you Cate and her baton will be enough to make this movie worth the price of admission. And it is an occasionally interesting examination of a career in crisis. But “Tár” is more concerned with the process (and heaping scorn on its duel subjects, Lydia and cancel culture) than examining the forces that would make an otherwise “great” woman feel entitled to the sordid spoils of her greatness.

Also, Jesus fuck, this movie is just way too long. And I say that as a person who will happily watch Cate Blanchett just eat chicken wings.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

C/Kate the Greats

Well, would you look at that — going on a full week of daily postings. My personal heartbreak notwithstanding, I certainly have missed writing here every day. So it feels good getting back into the swing of things. And, guess what, I’m about to have a lot more free time. So who knows, maybe I can write even more, better things for you. A recently dumped gay gal can dream.

Speaking of dreams, I saw in a recent interview with “Tár” director Todd Field that he hopes to work on a project starring…wait for it…Cate Blanchett and Kate Winslet.

*pauses for unrelenting lesbian squealing*

Yep, that’s right, according to his interview with Variety, Field said he wants to work with Cate and Kate and has an idea to bring the C/Kates together, saying:

“I always think of the two ‘C/Kates’ a little bit about how we thought about DeNiro and Pacino before they were in that scene in Michael Mann’s ‘Heat.’ It was there as we were all waiting to have a scene with the two of them together. I think the ‘C/Kates’ at some point, they need to work together.”

Um, yes please. And thank you. Thank you very much.

I have no idea whether this idea will get out of the idea phase (get the idea?) But I certainly will expend a not small part of my gay energy hoping it will. And as we wait for the blessed C/Kate coupling to occur (I mean, obviously, they have to be queer in this project right? They have to be. We will accept no substitute), please enjoy these images of the C/Kates already canoodling.

Angling to make Brie part of a thruple even!

p.s. Yes, I have seen “Tár” and plan to have a full review soon. It’s sure…something. Sure is.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

What a Westworld

Well, darn. Actually, truly, darn. Yes, for most of its run “Westworld” was an extravagant series of set pieces begging for a cohesive storyline. But I actually thought the series finally hit on a dystopian master plan that actually worked in its fourth (and now it seems final) season. All the mysterious symbolism and elaborate timeline shifting had given way to a vision that wasn’t just grandiose stalling. In short, it had just gotten kinda good. But at least the series ended on a hard (perhaps the hardest of resets for a season that was already basically a reset) of resets. I’m glad I stuck it out with this show, even if it may not have always had the expected payoffs or even comprehensible narratives. But it gave a wonderful showcase for Evan Rachel Wood, Thandiwe Newton, Tessa Thompson, Ariana DeBose and more for four full seasons. And that definitely looks like something to me.

p.s. Oh, and everyone should VOTE today like our democracy/bodily autonomy/right to marry/Social Security/equality depends on it because, damn.

Music Monday: Sinead Edition

Should I just make my Music Mondays a series of the best breakup songs and really wallow in this thing or what? Anyway. So as part of my preemptive cost cutting because of My Little Life Implosion, I canceled my Showtime subscription. (Don’t worry — I still have access to screeners, which means Pre-Ls are still on the table for now.) But, I forgot to watch the new Sinead O’Connor documentary before I shut it down. So now I’m sad I didn’t get a chance to soak in the shattering genius of Sinead some more. Singularly talented. Right about the Catholic Church. And looks stunning moping around Paris in a winter jacket. My great hope for her is that she finds peace and happiness in her life. She has earned it. We all have. (OK, not people who still vote for Republicans, but the rest of us have. Did I mention, you should definitely VOTE for Democrats - as imperfect as they are - Tuesday in the midterms.) Happy Monday, kittens.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

p.s. Continued thanks. I am slowly getting back to everyone who reached out with support.

My Weekend Crush

So, would you believe that I haven’t even watched the trailer for the new season of “The L Word: Generation Q” until just now? Granted, it dropped less than a week after my wife told me she was leaving me and taking the dog, so I was perhaps focusing on other things. But, still, priorities. The important stuff now has my full attention.

So, when we last saw our Super Sapphics, they were all headed in various directions in their relationships (and to, like, jail). The trailer doesn’t give us that much more information other than the couples we saw together at the end of last season are doing things together in the new season, too. Tina and Bette are still standing on the edge of that cliffhanger. Shane and Tess are possibly not in Las Vegas. Dani and Gigi are enjoying bars-free conjugal visits. Micha and Maribel are talking little bundles of joy. Finley and Sophie are…ugh, them I know. And poor Carrie is probably no longer engaged, but I heard she goes on to run a swell bar in Rockford, Illinois.

Also, following in the grand tradition of “The L Word” star cameos like Gloria Steinem, Snoop Dogg, Ariana Huffington and more comes Fletcher delivering what I am sure the show hopes will be the line of the season, “It’s the kind of sapphic chaos I live for.”

I have to say I very much appreciate the return of Primal Scream Bette. I’ve never related to her more in these moments, for some strange reason. Like, can someone cut a video of just Primal Scream Bette screams over the seasons so I can play them on a loop for, you know, reasons.

Still, as much as I love me some (Alpha or Primal Scream) Bette, I could have never imagined before the start of the show’s third season that the character in the trailer I’d aspire to relate to the most was…Angelica? What, I’m about to be extremely single. This could be my ho phase.

I know, five days in a row. Am I back? Getting there. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Continued thanks for the support of My Little Life Implosion Fund. I’m beyond touched and grateful.

How to Donate:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

So Sue Me

Four, four days in a row! *cackles at the thundering sky like The Count* Hey, want some more good queer news? If you’re a queer lady who likes baking, comedy, world travel and other queer ladies, I think I have the show for you. Sue Perkins, one half of the O.G. Great British Bake-Off/Great British Baking Show host team is back with a new series on Netflix. And, goodness, it looks very, very interesting. I dunno about you, but I know I could use some welcome distraction these days.

“Sue Perkins: Perfectly Legal” seems to be less a standard adventure travel show and more like a self-discovery show that travels. The British comic journeys around the world to get shot (while wearing protective body armor), take psychedelics (and pays for it) and have rather unsavory conversations about the prevalence of bestiality (poor, poor donkeys).

I’ve watched the first episode and it plays very much like a sometimes witty, sometimes bewildering journey through a middle-aged lesbian’s midlife crisis. So, then, exactly as advertised. The series consists of three episodes, so I look forward to watching her do more crazy things on camera in lieu of buying a little red sportscar.

p.s. Endless gratitude for the continued support of My Little Life Implosion Fund so far. I plan to respond to the kind emails, posts and moral support that you all have lavished on me recently. I am a wee bit overwhelmed right now, but I promise you I read them all.

How to Donate:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

Second Somewhere

Would you look at that? Three days of posts in a row? It’s like I’ve been doing this forever and miss it (and, of course, the kittens). Anyway, easing myself back into the old blog saddle this week, and it already feels good. So would you like some more good news? I know I sure could.

On the heels of the surprise very welcome news about “Girls5Eva” being renewed for a new season (and switching a bigger platform on Netflix), comes equally surprising very welcome news that HBO Max’s “Somebody Somewhere” is coming back for its second season this winter. I’m thrilled that the unassuming series has been given a sophomore season, especially considering the recent programming apocalypse (and Cancel Your Gays contributions) at the streamer.

This hilarious yet unexpectedly heartfelt show from comic Bridget Everett isn’t showy. Instead it’s the perfect Midwestern show about the oddballs that exist in every community and the joy of being with your found family. Also, while it may not have any current major lesbian characters, the show is plenty queer with matter-of-fact gay and trans representation.

Honestly, I thought the first season was so lovely it could have stood on its own. But I’m thrilled to be able to watch another season of this loveably scruffy bunch of weirdos do ridiculous and lovely things to the background hum of cicadas over the cornfields.

p.s. Goodness, kittens. Thank you so much to all who donated and offered kind words to My Little Life Implosion Fund so far. I cannot thank you enough.

How to Donate:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

Sweet Surrender

OK, kittens. Here goes. Honestly, I hate doing this. I truly hate it. But people, some of you included, have been telling me to reach out for help when I need it. And, accordingly, I’ve been trying to do just that as I navigate my little life implosion. (To recap, my wife has rather suddenly decided to move out and end our marriage, and she is taking the dog too.) So, I am asking for some financial help to get me through this rough patch.

I am loath to ask, especially because I asked earlier this year for my 16th blogiversary (fuck, I’m old) and you so kindly delivered. But I am currently in need of several thousands of dollars to help pay off my car and some other things (as well as replace the sundry household items that the separation is Thanos snapping out of my life), to lower my monthly expenditures. It would also be nice to have more of a buffer as I navigate the steep drop from a two-income household to just my sad salary.

Going forward, I plan to look into ways to sign up for some more regular and secure crowdfunding platforms, but the chaos of my marriage ending is taking up most of my energies right now. I appreciate all of your suggestions and advice, keep ‘em coming, and will research them once I can think clearly again.

Truly, I’ve been so touched by your comments and concerns for me. One of the things I’ve feel proudest about is creating a place where like-minded queer women and supporters can come and celebrate their interests in a respectful and joyful way for the past 16 years. It doesn’t feel parasocial to me, it feels like I have all of these friends who I just haven’t met yet surrounding me right now.

So, thank you. That alone is so much that, again, it makes me feel sheepish asking for more. But if you have a few dollars to spare, I would be endlessly humbled if you’d consider donating. I have included Venmo and Paypal links (finally, for my international kittens). In the comments, if you could write “Birthday Present,” that will make life easier come tax time. Plus, it actually is my birthday today. So there’s that.

How to Donate:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

Thank you in advance. Also yes, please, laugh at the Hotmail address on my Paypal account, I told you I was old.