So the thing about this year’s Oscars is they were very, very, veryveryveryvery straight this year. I mean, sure, Ariana Grande opened with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” from “The Wizard of Oz” and then Cynthia Erivo followed with “Home” from “The Whiz” and they both finished with “Defying Gravity.” Ari even had a freaking ruby slipper attached to her back. Which, I mean, sure – that’s a pretty fucking gay way to start things off. But instead of staying gay, the rest of the show was pure “Kansas Rainbow” (this is a deep “Somebody Somewhere” cut – which if you recognize it let’s be real gay together).
But after that? None of the higher-profile queer nominees won (not Cynthia, not Brandi Carlile and Elton John, not Colman Domingo and definitely not Karla Sofía Gascón). The highlights for LGBTQ+ folks was out costume designer Paul Tazewell taking home the trophy for “Wicked” – making him the first Black man to win – and Queen Latifah singing “Ease On Down The Road” (was “The Whiz” the telecast’s true winner?) with Glad trash bags tied to her shoulders.
And can we talk for a moment about how neither of the two “Emilia Perez” winners mentioning the trans community even once in their acceptance speeches? Hello??? If you’re wondering why this movie wasn’t embraced by the LGBTQ+ community, uh, that’s why. When you use us as a plot device without any real intention of representing the greater community, it shows. That and it was a bad movie, period.
Honestly, there wasn’t much SGALGG to speak of from the red carpet either. Like hardly any fun shots of straight actresses trying to Sabrina Carpenter themselves with other straight actresses, so clearly queer sensibilities had a bad night. Also, can we talk about how 25-year-old Mikey Madison pulling a surprise upset for Best Actress over 62-year-old Demi Moore is the perfect postscript to “The Substance,” because yeah.
Even if the awards were very cis and very straight, I’m here to bring the GGALGG because that’s my whole and entire mission statement. Granted, most of the Queer Lady Rainbow Mafia only showed up for the after parties – which is just another sign of our good taste. Ahem.
Cynthia Erivo & Lena Waithe
Had to find a sneaky picture of Cynthia & Lena at the Oscars because they did not pose on the red carpet together and posted individual shots of themselves at the Oscars on their respective Instas. Which, hey, I get keeping your personal lives private. But it’s the Oscars, ladies. Not even one official shot together at the Gay Superbowl?
Marissa Bode & Lauren Brooks
The “Wicked” star brought her girlfriend with her throughout the movie’s award show run and happily posed together on the red carpet so I’m not saying she wins Girlfriend of the Year but she’s definitely not losing Girlfriend of the Year for lack of effort.
Brandi Carlile & Catherine Shepherd Carlile
I love them, I don’t love their abundance of bows. Like was Brandi’s suit inspired by Minnie Mouse, what is happening? Are bows the new carabiners? Explain, universe. Explain.
Queen Latifah & Eboni Nichols
Did a Catholic middle school dance chaperone get to them and say they needed to leave space for the Holy Ghost or what?
Niecy Nash-Betts & Jackie Betts
Thank Sappho for Niecy and Jackie, a queer couple that always looks great together and will give us the Gay Superbowl photos we deserve.
Oprah & Whoopi Goldberg
Fine, while neither is truly family, I think we can all just agree they look like the most stylish couple at Senior Prom Night at their high-end 55+ community.
Laverne Cox & Hari Nef
More trans representation in one photo than the entire production of “Emilia Perez.” Enough said.
Sarah Paulson & Hannah Einbinder
It’s like spare body parts from The Substance and a fashion-forward Dalek from Doctor Who showed up as each other’s dates.
Chappell Roan & Elton John
We have reached Maximum Gay. Any more Gay and we may risk Nuclear Rainbow Overload.
Melanie Lynskey & Jason Ritter
The only straight couple I will include because after seeing Melanie in this Jessica Rabbit getup, every lesbian has reaffirmed her spot on their “Celebrity I So Would” lists. And Jason is just adorable, even though he will fight every single last one of us for lusting after his wife.
Renee Rapp
Speaking of Jessica Rabbit, I’m glad to see Renee embracing her inner – or should I say outer – Jessica as well.
Clea DuVall
Again, this is exactly how I would show up at award shows were I ever to be invited to award shows – or in this case, award show after parties.
Katy M. O’Brian
I love that these are actually pants. Oh you didn’t notice the pants because of the muscles? Yeah, you’re gay.
One of the most important things I think we can do during this time when so many vulnerable communities are being assaulted by the full weight and breadth of the federal government, is listen to people in those communities. So when people in the trans community talk about what is needed in the years ahead, listen. When other queer people talk about what would help in the years ahead, listen. When people of color do, when immigrant communities do, when anyone that Orange Turd and that Emerald Mine Nazi Baby decides is bad or doesn’t deserve basic human rights or shouldn’t exist, we should fucking listen.
So today – while we’re all watching in real time as our entire system of government is smashed and burned to the ground by the very oligarchs who will benefit the most from its destruction – what we need to do is listen. And I can think of no one more articulate in this perilous yet all too predictable moment than the divine Laverne Cox. Her recent appearance The View is precisely the message we need to be sending at this moment. The LGBTQ+ community is strong and resilient and used to this shit. Fight the real problem, folks.
“At the end of the day, trans people are less than 1% of the population. Trans people are not the reason you can’t afford eggs. We’re not the reason you can’t afford healthcare. We’re not the reason you can’t buy a house or your rent is too high. I think you’re focused on the wrong 1%. I think the other 1% is the reason for all those things.”
Ex-fucking-actly. The oligarchs who are raiding our collective national pantry right now know what they’re doing. They know scapegoating has been one of the most effective tactics of the ruling class since time immemorial. Us, the people with all the power and the wealth and the resources? No, no, we’re not the problem.
You don’t have enough because this other person who also doesn’t have enough has anything at all. So take their stuff and you’ll have enough! Yet it works, time and time and time again. That brown person is why your life is miserable. That trans person is why your life is miserable. No, you’re miserable because we live in a world where we have the means and the resources for everyone to have enough yet we instead allow the smallest select fraction at the top to hoard and control everything.
I actually think all the bro-ligarchs decided the workers of the world were getting a little too uppity – what with us forming unions and demanding better working conditions and liveable wages – and decided now was the time to strike. Their objective, of course, is to return to their roles as feudal lords (I’ve already heard talk of the return to company towns, hello) to create an even cheaper workforce.
That’s easy to do if you erase every last speck of good that the government can do. So then the people’s only recourse will be to turn to those billionaires bosses and corporate overlords for any hope of salvation – money, food, shelter, et all. They want a quiet and compliant workforce that just shuts up already about their rights and is grateful to toil for their exclusive benefit. Duh!
Anyway, all this wanton destruction, cruelty and idiotry to give billionaires more tax cuts. As Laverne said, I think you’re focused on the wrong 1%. Eat the fucking rich. Happy weekend, all.
Lest we forget, Republicans continue to bash trans people this election season in an increasingly desperate attempt to scare voters. Oogity,-boogity, the scary Trans Police will sex change your child in SCHOOL! Boo-hiss! I mean, The Fuck? Which is why it’s more important than ever to support our trans, nonbinary and gender nonconforming friends, family and other folks. As queer people who fall under The Big Gay Umbrella, we all know what it’s like to be used as a boogey-man wedge issue. And we all (should) know inequality for some of us, is inequality for all of us. Also, you think the people who still use “queers” as an insult will distinguish between a gay person and a trans person when the bashing starts? Absolutely not. LGBTQ+ is inclusive for a reason. We all deserve respect and the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. May the ugly days of using any of the LGBTQ+ family to scare Americans into hating other Americans soon become an ugly relic of the past. And until then, let the always amazing Laverne Cox (who looks WOW, I might add) school ya. Bigots, beware. Happy weekend, all.
Well, this was NOT the year to skip the Oscars if you like to see talented queer women living their best lives and/or like to see Academy Award-winning bitchslaps on live television. Like, I sincerely thought the “Moonlight”/”La La Land” best picture fiasco was going to be the craziest thing I watched on the Oscars telecast in my lifetime (baring, of course, the cringe-tastic Rob Lowe/Snow White opening trainwreck).
Anyway, while the men created their own, scene-stealing mess, queer Hollywood — particularly queer women of color — came out and shone brighter than a damn diamond. Queer women, trans women and trans men were the highlight of my night and almost enough to erase the ugliness of the evening. Almost.
In particular I was heartened by “West Side Story” stand-out Ariana DeBose’s win for best supporting actress which makes her the first queer person of color and first Afro-Latina to take home the naked golden man. While accepting her trophy, Ariana also gave one of the most touching speeches of the night, which honestly I tear up even now transcribing.
“You see a queer, openly queer woman of color, an Afro Latina who found her strength in life through art. And that’s what I believe we’re here to celebrate. So to anybody who has ever questioned your identity ever, ever, ever, or you find yourself living in the gray spaces, I promise you this: There is indeed a place for us.”
No slap can overshadow this sincerity. We belong. Considering yesterday Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis signed the hateful “Don't Say Gay” bill into law, it’s a message we could all hear a few more times right about now.
In fact, you should watch/rewatch her whole acceptance. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
So here’s the rest of the Big Gay Oscars. What a night for women who love women, queers who love being fabulous and all of us at home who got to feel like — if only for a moment — the somehow, some day, somewhere we’ve all been dreaming of has finally arrived.
First, The Couples:
Ariana DeBose & girlfriend costume designer Sue Makkoo
I mean, they even do the stock photo favorite lesbian forehead meld pose together.
Niecy Nash & wife singer Jessica Betts
Niecy’s purse says “Wifey for Lifey,” y’all. And more red carpet lesbian forehead meld.
Wanda Sykes & wife Alex Niedbalski
Wanda was great as one-third of the night’s hosts. But then, Wanda is always great, as is her white tux in particular.
The Queen brought her longtime partner (read into that line however you will) to Hollywood’s biggest night for the first time. Ahem.
Kristen Stewart & fiancée screenwriter Dylan Meyer
I truly, truly appreciate that KStew came to the Oscars with one and only one fashion goal in mind: Look hot for the lesbians. Thank you, a grateful nation of queer women thank you. Also, that smooch? Yeah, I bet that made a bunch of kids in the middle of nowhere feel a little less lonely.
Also, pretty sure she out Shane-ed Shane with this look.
Next, The Stag:
Hannah Einbinder
I just appreciate how the “Hacks” star can two-fist her drinks. Also, I didn’t know if this was her date or not so I didn’t want to make things awkward for either of them on Tinder. Apologies if you should be in the above category. Also, white tuxes are apparently a thing for us now, queer women. Take note.
Stephanie Beatriz
I just love how she’s finding fame in a whole other way than her “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” way. Yes, duh, I love “Encanto.” (Also, technically, I think her husband was there somewhere but she’s solo in this shot so there.)
Elliot Page
You really can’t go wrong with a classic tuxedo. I love seeing his smile these days.
Laverne Cox
Flawless, no notes.
Tessa Thompson & Janelle Monae
No, I don’t think they’re still a couple. But they sure look good side-by-side. Like a couple from the future on Earth Colony 275 or something. Not that they’re a couple.
Lady Gaga & Liza Minnelli
The Lady and the Legend. Gaga’s tender, dignified care for Liza was a salve on a lot of the ugliness from last night. Kindness can also be iconic.
And finally, The Sarah:
Sarah Paulson & Amanda Peet
Don’t have a heart attack, Sarah and Holland are still together. Sarah just took her bestie/girlfriend stand-in Amanda to the show instead and had some — shall we say, fun. Also, of course Sarah’s dress has pockets.
Sarah & Kirsten Dunst
All I’m saying is, while the cat’s away, The Sarah will Kiki. But in a respectful way that never denigrates her love. Look, I don’t want their whatever their portmanteau’s name is stans to come after me.
Sarah & Sophie Turner
All hail Sarah Catharine Paulson. First of Her Name, Queen of the Lesbians, Protector of the WLW Kingdoms, the Mother of Fangirls, the Paulson of the Queer Lady Sea, the Unstraight, the Breaker of Heteronormativity
Sarah & Lena Waithe
That’s almost too much queer excellence for one photo. Almost.
Sarah & Jean Smart & Judith Light
This is photographic proof that at least one of the gods loves queer people and wants us to be happy.
Bonus, The KStew Dancing
I don’t think this is Dylan. (And, apologies if it is.) But, um. Queer women, seriously, after seeing all of this… What slap?
You didn’t think the start of Hot Impeachment Fall would make me just breeze past Clea DuVall’s Emmys tux with one line, did you? Please, it’s like you don’t know me at all. So in honor of all the Very Pertinent To Your Lesbian (and Bisexual, and Queer, and Trans) Interests, here is a very special combination Gender Fuck Thursday/SGALGG Emmys Edition post.
Clea DuVall & Her Tuxedo
I just… I can’t… Who gave her the right…. I mean, the hand in her pocket is just… And cheekbones like… All that and the tailoring makes me want to be a better woman.
Clea DuVall & Natasha Lyonne
The only thing that could possibly make me happier than knowing Graham & Megan made it is if they then became couple BFFs with Luce & Rachel.
p.s. I know this is cheating, but at a pre-Emmy party Clea & Natasha radiated the strongest “Longtime Couple on A Date Night That Is Going Extremely Well”-couple vibes I have ever seen.
Natasha Lyonne & Amy Poehler
I know Megan is with Graham (20 years and still going strong!), but when her wife has to work late Megan lets Amy and her Big Top Energy take her out on the town (in a flirty but respectfully platonic, “Let’s Break Everyone’s Heart at This Bar Just For Fun”-kind of way.)
Jodie Comer & Sandra Oh
See, Eve can look genuinely happy for Villanelle when they aren’t stabbing/shooting each other. The only thing you two should be cutting is that sexual tension.
Phoebe Waller-Bridge & Sian Clifford
Look, I know they play sisters, but they’re not sisters. So I will totally allow it.
Joey King & Patricia Arquette
Look, I know they play mother-daughter, but they’re not mother-daughter. So you see where this is going.
Amy Poehler & Catherine O'Hara
Free Idea, Hollywood: Amy and Catherine play a May-December lesbian couple in a rom-com where they move from New York to rural Iowa to start an organic farm and attempt to befriend the locals.
Laverne Cox & Chase Strangio
The two trans rights advocates, and in particular Laverne’s purse, are a reminder that LGBTQ rights are very, very much at risk. Because on Oct. 8 the Supreme Court will decide whether trans (and really all LGBTQ) people can legally be fired for simply for being ourselves.
Gwendoline Christie & Her GoT Ladies
Her Brienne Jesus look obviously brought all the girls to the Tarth. Can Arya and Daenerys be her disciples, because they’re something I can believe in.
Gwen & Emilia Clarke
I mean, imagine how much better the ending would have been if instead of getting stabbed by Know-Nothing Jon Snow, Daenerys was saved from herself and her murderous madness by Brienne of Tarth and they then ruled together as co-queens with compassion while also adopting all the stray cats in Westeros.
Gwen & Lena Headey
Fine, part of me would also be fine if Daenerys let the world burn and Brienne instead saved Cersei and they then found a new life together crafting fine battle swords in a remote beach village across the sea while also adopting all the stray cats in Dorne.
Gwen & Her Pink After-Party Jesus Suit
I am not a religious person, but this is a real come to Brienne Jesus moment for me.
