Good Fucking Morning

Welcome, new week. Here is a reminder to please not fuck with us. Or, as you can see, we will fuck with you right back. Happy fucking Monday, kittens.

My Weekend 420

A lot of you have been asking about my position on marijuana. Here it is. pic.twitter.com/iEKLHgClFN

— Cynthia Nixon (@CynthiaNixon) April 11, 2018

Happy 420, Stoners and Friends of Stoners. I’m not necessarily a stoner, but I do believe we should legalize the recreational use of marijuana for adults – just like they’ve done here in California and eight other states. And I believe it should be legalized for some of the very same reasons Cynthia Nixon describes here. Look, I don’t know if Cynthia would make a good governor of New York. But I know she has been making a lot of sense when she talks about her policy positions. I mean, maybe the Unqualified Lesbian is onto something. So smoke ‘em if you got ‘em, kittens. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday

You look like you need some ladies in nicely tailored suits. So here are some ladies in nicely tailored suits. You are welcome.

Cate Blanchett

Should we pass a law that Cate can only walk around in her clothes from “Carol” or a tuxedo? Yeah, I think we should.

Letitia Wright

I want the little sister in “Black Panther” to have her own movie, accompanied – of course – by the all-women Wakandan army.

Lena Headey

In another life, Cersei runs away to pursue her love of genealogy at university and starts wearing nice tweeds and turtlenecks.

Rihanna

I can.not.wait. to see her as one of the eight in “Ocean’s Eight.”

Dame Maggie Smith

I suddenly want to find out everything I can about, what appears to be, Prof. McGonagall’s past as a well-dressed graduate student at an all-women’s magicians college.

Jessica Chastain

I need to make an amendment that adds Jessica in the above “Must Wear a Tux” law.

Bates Hotel

Kathy Bates giving us that Bruno Mars swagger is the perfect pick me up for a Wednesday. On a related note I now want “Lip Sync Battle” to focus solely on actresses over 60 years old battling each other for lip sync supremacy.

The End of the World As We Know It

If you know anything about my love for Pixar movies you’ll now how much this delighted me. Here is a heart-warming clip of the Swedish ending of “Finding Dory.” Um, is this how all movies in Sweden end? If you, my dear Swedish friends, you have been holding out on us.

Monday McKinnon

http://dorothy-snarker.tumblr.com/post/172817315045/holdingontoyoufordearlife-kate-mckinnon-as-90s

Question: Is there anything Kate McKinnon can’t do? Answer: Nope, nothing. Have a good Monday, y’all.

My Weekend Crush

They year of great Bisexual Lighting continues. The latest member of our LGBTQ tribe to claim a spot at the Big Out Table is “Broad City” star Abbi Jacobson, who came out as bisexual in a recent interview. *hold for applause and stoner head nods*

As she told Vanity Fair:

“I kind of go both ways; I date men and women,” she says. “They have to be funny, doing something they love. I don’t know—I’ve never really been interviewed about this before.”

Now, this is a fun switcheroo because on the series it’s Abbi’s character Abbi who is frequently fending off the come-ons of her BFF Ilana (played by Ilana Glazer). Yet in real life Abbi is bi and ready to mingle and Ilana is married to a guy who does computational biology (which is a term I had to Google to even begin to understand…) So, as I was saying, welcome to the table, Abbi. Happy weekend, all.

Eight Is More Than Enough

Yes. That is all. Yes.

Go Pynk

Welcome to 20GAYTEEN, indeed. This trend of female pop stars acting out all of our queer lady fantasies in their music videos? I AM HERE FOR IT. Janelle Monae already blessed us with the best Bisexual Lighting in a music video, ever. And now she, and Tessa Thompson, are back together to get even gayer? How gay? Like dancing in Pussy Pants gay. Like Tessa as the clit and Janella as the labia gay. Like these are the actual lyrics, “Pink like the inside of your, baby/Pink behind all of the doors, crazy/Pink like the tongue that goes down, maybe/Pink like the paradise found.”

Oh, and then there was all of this.



And this.



And this.



And this, I mean, COME ON.



Look, I don’t know if Janella and Tessa are dating and this whole song/video is an ode to the amazing sex they’re having together. But, damn, I sure hope it is. (Autostraddle did an exhaustive investigative report when the “Make You Feel” video came out and evidence has only continued to mount…ahem.)

Also, I hope when inevitably asked by reporters if they’re dating, they simply reply with this image.



Anyway, even without the Janelle/Tessa connection, this video is amazing because you have a major music star singing explicitly about the joys of the female vagina. (Also, Tessa’s been wonderfully inclusive to our trans and non-binary sisters in her posts about the video as well, so props for that – the more people feel included the merrier we are all, I say.) A positively queer and queer positive videa featuring beautiful women of color, well, that is a very, very good thing.

Right, so now the only question is where do I find myself some Pussy Pants?

The American Tales

I am still trying to decide if I’m going to watch the second season of “The Handmaid’s Tale.” It’s not that I disliked the first season, far from it. This is a well filmed, well acted, well written show – of that there is no doubt. My decision is not based on its merits, but whether I can stomach it. Some shows are hard to watch because they’re so unblinkingly realistic. And some shows are so hard to watch because they’re uncomfortably close to being unblinkingly realistic. And “The Handmaid’s Tale” is, very unfortunately, in the latter category. In so many ways, it cuts too close to the bone with our current political climate. Granted, it’s the resistance that is meant to inspire us. But, still, with headlines testing the levels of our incredulity in this endless hellscape of a news cycle, sometimes I wonder how much more I can take – even fictional bad news. But then again, it is very well filmed, acted and written and features out queer characters and women. So, you know, how can I not? So in about two weeks when it returns April 25, will you be watching? Or is the news each day more than enough of that?