Tank Top Tuesday: Got Wood?

LESBIAN BAT SIGNAL: There is a lesbian on TikTok who just splits wood. In a tank top. And plaid. And. It is good. Anyway, I’ve reached whatever stage of my breakup involves watching lots of videos of women splitting wood. Though, it felt greedy to keep it all to myself. I mean, it’s a Tuesday after all. So, you’re welcome.

@nicole_coenen we'll slow it down a bit. #daddydontknow #woodsplitting #woodchop #lesbiansoftiktok #lesbiantiktoks #thirstyrap #queertok #queertiktok #maplemommy #canadian #slowmotion ♬ original sound - ❤️🥺✨Kamarah✨🥺❤️

Bonus Rachel Maddow splitting wood (H/T Miriam).

While she wasn’t splitting wood, Shane and her sledgehammer in a tank was not terrible either. What I feel generous this Tuesday.

Music Monday: Winter Song Season

The first Monday in December calls for my favorite melancholy “Winter Song.” I can’t believe Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson’s truly lovely December lullabye is 14 years old (heck, almost as old as Ye Olde Blog). But each time I hear it again I feel enveloped by its evocative beauty. Admittedly this year, well, it just hits different. Is love alive? The seasons always change, so we shall see. Maybe there is still a harvester of light for me out there somewhere — and hopefully for you too. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Start the week with Fleetwood Mac, end the week with Christine McVie. Her sudden passing Wednesday is a reminder that the music that moves us stays with us always. While it was easy to joke about the group’s legendary interpersonal entanglements (most of which played to the public through song, much to our eternal gratitude), McVie was a pilar in a group filled with people destined for pedestals. Her songwriting was clear, heartfelt, urgent. And while her voice may not have the witchy magic of her iconic co-worker Stevie Nicks, it had essential clarity and pop perkiness that helped Fleetwood Mac become one of the most sonically layered groups of our time, and really any time. And then of course, there were the “Glee” covers. Fleetwood Mac’s catalog played as the score to so many pivotal Brittana moments. So those on The Good Ship will never forget how McVie’s words nestled deep into our, and Brittany and Santana’s, hearts. And, like with Glee, Fleetwood Mac’s heated personal drama has faded with time. And what’s left is the music and the emotions. Songbirds only get sweeter with time. Thanks for the music, Christine. Happy weekend, all.

Pre-L: “Quiz Show” (303)

Before we start things off, can we just address that this is the very first episode of “The L Word” in going on nine seasons to have a title that does in fact NOT start with an “L” word. But, I see what they did there. It starts with a “Q,” as in Generation Q (indeed it appears four of this season’s 10 episodes will have “Q” titles instead). But I know the only next generation question you care about is whether we are really going to see less of Bette fucking Porter this season. So, are we? Well, let’s find out.

1. Don’t worry, it appears they learned their Dana lesson. Don’t kill off the fan favorite off in the third season. Period.

2. Look, we can’t help it. “Chasing Amy” came out at a time when even mere acknowledgment of female queerness meant it had to be rewatched dozens of times while falling in love with the leading lady. So of course we’re thrilled to see Joey Lauren Adams. OF COURSE.

3. Sledgehammers. Work gloves. Muscle tees. Handy dykes. Magic Mike moves. This is the gratuitous Top Gun beach volleyball scene, but for lesbians.

4. I absolutely hate this storyline, plus is this how we’re gonna see Bette and Tina for the rest of the season? Only on the other side of a cellphone à la Samantha in “And Just Like That?”

5. You know what, Silver Daddy Rosie is working for me this season. Also could this show finally be setting up its first butch-butch relationship? (Plus “Kegel and hold, kegel and hold. Don’t sneeze” is fucking funny. Look, I’m a middle-aged lesbian. That shit hits home.)

6. Stop trying to make throuple happen. It’s never gonna happen.

7. Tess and her mom can have lovely moments. Now if they’d only stop making her the relationship “villain.” Save that Hellraiser.

8. Also, if we’re talking villains, Shane is right there. Oh, Shane.

9. I sure hope they use Margaret Cho again this season. Otherwise this is the second show I watch (looking at you, “Hacks”) that has tragically underused this genius icon.

10. That said, this is a throuple I could actually get behind.

11. What’s with lesbians and oranges? “Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit.” “Orange Is the New Black.” Orange You Glad Lesbians Don’t Like Banana? (Sorry, my Lesbian Dad jokes show sometimes.)

12. And, we’re right back to disliking throuples.

Scrap Cap Extra:

What? I still own the same bra.

Put a Ring on It

Well, isn’t this an interesting predicament. Celebrating the federal government’s continued recognition of same-sex marriages as valid and legal, while my own real same-sex marriage is ending. Life, ain’t it a kick in the crotch?

Still the Senate’s passage of the Respect for Marriage act yesterday is an important step in protecting queer relationships — past, present and future — across the country. The House is expected to pass the bill early next week followed by President Biden’s signature into law. And, voila, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer folks will be able to continue to get married and have those marriages recognized by the federal government.

But, and this is a very big but, it does not truly “codify” same-sex marriage as legal in America. Right now, under the combined protections of Obergefell v. Hodges and United States v. Windsor SCOTUS decisions, all states and the federal government must allow and recognize same-sex marriages.

But, the Respect for Marriage Act only keeps a portion of those protections — namely that states must recognize other states’ legal marriages as legal. But the Respect for Marriage Act does not mandate that all states must allow or perform same-sex marriages. Instead is just requires that same-sex marriages from states that allow same-sex marriages must also be recognized by other states, whether those states allow their own same-sex marriage or not.

Also it gives nonprofit religious organizations of all kinds — churches, universities, medical facilities, charities, adoption agencies, you name it — a pass and says they do not have to provide “goods or services for the celebration of any marriage, and could not lose tax-exempt status or other benefits for refusing to recognize same-sex unions.”

So basically that means it lets any group calling itself a “religious organization” to continue to discriminate against the LGBTQ+ community without the risk of losing their tax-exempt gravy train. Neat-O. I thought the religious right was against special interest groups getting special rights! Just kidding, only they want rights.

We get to call this thing “bipartisan” because 12 Republicans said “Yes.” But they wouldn’t vote yes unless they got it written into law that these so-called religious groups can continue their fucking around as hateful bigots without the finding out phase of losing any of their privileges/powers. Again, that concession got 12 Republicans on board. The remaining 36 Republicans — the vast majority of their caucus — voted no. Again, I am begging the mainstream media to call Republicans an anti-LGBTQ+ right party in their reporting, because it is true.

While I certainly applaud the much-needed protections the Respect for Marriage Act presents, it is s stop-gap and not the full enchilada of rights. In essence, depending on where you live you can or cannot get married in your state depending on where you live. So, not exactly codifying.

Also, just in case you’re thinking, “But what state ban gay marriage in this day and age?” Well, may I direct you towards the more than 300 anti-trans/LGBTQ+ bills introduced this year in various statehouses this year alone as a “Like hell they wouldn’t!”

Indeed, if the Far-Right Wing of the Supreme Court (or, I like to call it, the Supreme Court) was to overturn Obergefell — as Thomas and Alito are licking their chops to do — some 35 states currently have laws on the books that would ban legal marriage recognition for LGBTQ+ couples in some form. Granted, one would hope that many of those states would reverse those old Defense of Marriage Act-era bans. But if you look at the climate for queer people right now, it’s easy to see a path where the “OK Groomer” crowd makes our lives even harder than they already are in statehouses and governors mansions across this country.

As long as bigots are allowed to continue their bigoted practices without the fear of any kind of consequences, they will continue to be bigots forever. With this SCOTUS we need to go all in on protecting LGBTQ+ right, women’s rights, BIPOC rights, immigrant rights, disabled rights, worker rights, you name it. So while I’m happy for all the happily married queers — past, present and hopefully future — out there who know their relationships are safe, I implore Democrats and progressives to push against hatred because the other side uses it as their rallying cry instead.

And, who knows, maybe even I will get married again — someday. I mean, I really did like being married…a lot. So, mazel to all the married queers. Now let’s go get the whole brass ring of rights.

p.s. Yes, that’s us and our rings. I miss wearing that ring.

Food for Murder

Damn, am I going to have to get an Acorn subscription now? Because I am being thrifty as possible now, I took full advantage of a free Acorn trial I had this weekend and watched the entire first season of “Recipes for Love and Murder.” I already mentioned how thankful I was to stumble upon it before the holiday weekend. But now, after watching the show’s entire first season, I can confidently say I think this show was possibly custom-made for me. Like, for real. It’s almost creepy.

Why do I like this show? Let me count the ways. It’s a crime series (a local woman is found murdered). It’s got a talented female lead (“Orphan Black” alum Maria Doyle Kennedy). It’s got a foreign setting (in this case rural South Africa). It has a diverse and likable ensemble (I realize the racial politics of a South African series may be fraught, so I will let others with more expertise comment on how well that portrayal was made on screen). It’s got a lot of cooking (seriously, at times it’s like GBBO but with murder). And, extra special bonus points, it’s about a writer (ink-stained wretch solidarity forever).

I appreciate the show’s laid-back approach to murder and mayhem, complete with cast of small-town oddballs. I also appreciate the “Murder She Wrote” crossed with “Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat” and “Dear Abby” aesthetic. Because our heroine is a recipe columnist turned advice columnist (who still uses recipes in her advice) at the small-town paper. And there’s also a mysterious backstory, and who doesn’t love a mysterious backstory?

Also, did I mention there are gays? One of the murdered woman’s best friends/who has an unrequited crush on her is a lesbian and one of the first letters involves a queer male couple. Do they pile on the melodrama and the pathos toward the end? Of course. But by that point you’re invested and did I mention there is cooking in basically every episode?

So, has anyone else found this little gem? And, if I do spring for Acorn, what else is good on there? I see Lucy Lawless has a show on there and, well, I am a gay woman so I probably cannot resist.

Music Monday: Landslide Edition

Ignore Gwyneth Paltrow and pretend her Goop-y, mall mayor supporting ass and just immerse yourself in the pathos of Santana and Brittany, Naya and Heather once more. A little emotional release after a long holiday weekend feels, well, right, Happy Monday, kittens.

Pre-L: Los Angeles Traffic (302)

You wanted Pre-Ls, you’re getting Pre-Ls. Today’s is a tad late what with the holiday and all. But today’s is also TiBette Endgame Valhalla. Did they crib extensively from the ending of “Imagine Me & You?” Obviously. Am I made about it? Obviously not. If only Bette had screamed, “You’re a wanker No. 9!” the whole of queer female fandom would have fainted from delirious joy. And now, onto the caps. As always, there be spoilers ahead. That’s, like, the whole point.

1. It’s. All. Happening.

2. Nope. Still a nope from me.

3. Still Shane, after all these years.

4. This scene was a gift for the O.G. TiBetters.

5. Well at least they never tried to make them date.

6. Hardest nope. This whole storyline on my queer female show is a no thank you very much.

7. Why get an Uber when you can have offspring is an angle of parenting I never considered.

8. Someone please splice this scene with Luce running for Rachel. I mean it, I would pay cash money.

9. Yep, endgame.

Just Thankful

Well, it’s Thanksgiving here in the states. And not to get all kumbaya, but despite everything that has happened recently I do have things to be thankful for this holiday. My health, lingering head cold notwithstanding. The split-custody arrangement I’ve made with my ex so we both get to see the dog. And, of course, you kittens.

I am still muddling my way through all of my thank yous and responses (my inability to do this quickly is in no way reflective of my feelings of gratitude for your generous donations and support — it’s just been emotional going through them, honestly, and some days I’m all full up on emotions).

Still, because this is still a super gay pop culture blog, here are some on-topic things I am also thankful for this year. So without further ado-ing, here’s my random Thanksgiving thankfulness list:

1. That Cate Blanchett keeps playing gay ladies in really well-tailored clothing.
2. “Everything Everywhere All At Once,” just the whole damn movie, was truly a gift of equal parts absurd and sublime and any story that boils down to “Just love your lesbian daughter” is a great in my book.
3. “NCIS: Hawaii,” yes it’s crazy that a CBS spinoff crime procedural has one of the best, least problematic lesbian relationships on television right now. I just want Lucy to finish her stint on the Big Boat/whatever side project she has booked and return to Whistler’s gigantic embrace now.
4. This Acorn TV free week so I an watch all of “Recipes for Love and Murder,” a South African show about a recipe/advice columnist (played by the wonderful Maria Doyle Kennedy from “Orphan Black”) for a small local paper who helps the townspeople through her food/advice. So many queer storylines already, and unexpected yet somewhat hilarious gunplay. Recommend!
5. Another season of “The L Word: Generation Q.” As much as we love to complain about our show, it is still our show and we have grown and lived and fought and fucked and all the other lyrics of the original theme together. Of course we want to see how this all ends. Of course.
6. You. As always, kittens, you have made this year immeasurably better and truly lifted me up during one of the most difficult times I’ve experienced in my life. I am thankful for your generosity, concern and genuine care. If nothing else, I’m a gal with a blog and lots of friends who come by every day to read it and visit. And that’s quite something.

Enjoy your feasts today, kittens. And have a very happy Thanksgiving and/or Thursday to all who do and do not celebrate.

p.s. This will be my final pitch with Ye Olde My Little Life Implosion Fund. You have been so amazingly generous, and it is helping me immeasurably. Again, thank you.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

Renew ALOTO Already

Maybe it’s my terrible head cold (It’s not Covid, I tested five days in a row – just an old-fashioned head cold), or maybe it’s my salty-sad attitude about life in general these days, but WHY THE FUCK HAVEN’T THEY RENEWED “A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN” FOR A SECOND SEASON? Why? WhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhyWhy? WHY? W-H-Y?

The series is a carefully crafted improvement on the original film, bringing in needed marginalized voices in a way that both celebrates those communities and remains entirely historically accurate. Queer women played in that league, but the prevailing homophobia of the time meant they just couldn’t be out and proud and therefore were easily erased by mainstream history. And Black women, of course they were more than talented enough to play in that league, but the prevailing racism of the time meant they were never even given the chance.

Amazon Prime is dragging its feet on renewing a show that was both lauded by critics and adored by fans. And these aren’t just any fans, these are queer women fans. And once you’ve got us, *slow whistle*, you’ve got us forever. So stop your stalling, renew this excellent and important series already. I mean, a show like this is chump change for Papa Bezos. I know every billionaire is a policy failure, but maybe just one of those dudes could do something nice for us instead of just being predictable cartoon villains. Granted, if I could have a billionaire do anything it’d be to actually solve climate change or end world hunger or find permanent shelter for every unhoused person. And then, my next ask would be to renew “A League of Their Own.” Anyway, did I mention I have a head cold?

TV Review: TLW:GQ Season 3 So Far

Right, so maybe it was the two gummies I took. Or maybe I’m just getting soft in my advanced age. But, um, I rather enjoyed the first four episodes of the new season of “The L Word: Generation Q.” Like, don’t get me wrong, they gloss over a whole bunch of things to stutter time jump us forward a year. But then this ridiculous show does what this ridiculous show does best – is make us invest in these characters in spite of their actions and our better judgement.

So, yes, here we go betting sucked RIGHT BACK IN to TiBette despite it being basically settled law for the last 13 years now. But whatever, bam, we’re right back in it.

I think (and, again, it could have been the two gummies) what has made the new season more engaging so far is that instead of chasing whatever all-caps PLOT the show was determined to shoehorn into its seasons – be that breast cancer awareness or corporate culpability in the opioid epidemic (I know, when you write it out it’s still like whaaaaat, ok show, lol) or conservative crusades against artistic expression to addiction (to be fair, they’ve taken quite a few swings at this one, but they really went there with the hall pissing scene so there’s that) – they just let the stories happen.

Instead of all of whatever all that (point to previous paragraph)is , the relationships drive the plots and honestly it’s for the best. Granted because of our uneven investment in the various couples, some of those storylines have more impact than others. But I appreciate that the writers have, at least for now, allowed its stories to grow more organically.

[Spoilers for upcoming episodes]

And, besides some obvious stunt castings (Kehlani as Shane’s latest side chick is, well, good for Kate Moennig), the new season has brought some pleasant surprises with its guest stars so far. One, they’re having Alice date Joey Lauren Adams (who queer ladies of a certain age will no doubt have a soft spot for thanks to repeated watchings of “Chasing Amy” – don’t judge it was slim pickings back in the 90s), which is age appropriate casting at its finest. And two, they brought back Max (Daniel Sea), and acknowledged – even if a tad in passing – the shittiness of the original show’s trans storylines. What they made Max endure were truly, truly shameful. An on-screen apology is the least they could do, honestly.

Oh, and I hate – hatehatehatehate – the storyline they’re giving Angie. Hate it. HATE. But then, that’s what happens when this show decides they want to tackle an “issue” instead of just letting relationships make sense.

Oh, oh, and while I am complaining is this another show that has wasted Margaret Cho’s talents on a way too small part without much consequence? Shame bell, shame bell. (The other one was “Hacks,” so shame bells all around.)

So, how did everyone like the premiere? Hopes for the new season? Because I don’t get Showtime anymore, are they still releasing episodes each week? Do you want Pre-Ls? Or just an endless stream of TiBette caps? Can you believe we’ve been talking about “The L Word” together since before Twitter was even born? Did I mention I took two gummies before starting the new season? Because, yeah.

Hate is Hate

The worst part is none of this was a surprise. When one political party demonizes a group of people just trying to live their lives over and over and over again, this is the inevitable outcome. Five people died and another 18 were injured while out trying to have a fun Saturday night at their local gay bar. This is on the GOP and far-right terrorists who have decided that making trans people the enemy is the best way for them to get votes and therefore power.

But you know the fuck what? Fuck your guns. And fuck your hate.

This is the deliberate outcome of years of antagonizing the easily scared with made-up stories of imaginary threats caused by trans people trying to use the restroom or play youth sports or just exist in public. According to the Humans Campaign, more than 300 anti-LGBTQ bills are pending across state legislatures already this year. Three 300. That’s almost one a damn day. That’s the cause, the mass shooting at Club Q in Colorado Springs in the intended effect.

The only queer space in an otherwise conservative community (which has five, yes five, military bases nearby) was not a random attack. The attacker was known, and made violent threats before, yet still somehow about to obtain the mass shooter’s favorite assault weapon and then some because freedom or whatever.

When you have politicians and right-wing bigots targeting trans and other LGBTQ+ people in coordinated and despicable bad-faith attacks on drag shows, there’s no need to connect any dots. It’s a straight damn line.

Club Q was hosting a drag night and planned a drag brunch the next mornings. Right-wing hatemongers have been calling people at drag shows “groomers.” Someone kills trans and queer people. Cause and intended effect.

The truth is the Lauren Boeberts and Ron DeSantises of the world are grooming a new crop of mass shooters. We said they’d get people killed with their irresponsible, reprehensible lies about trans and queer people. Keep your thoughts and prayers, and stop using us to score cheap political points.

But here’s the thing about us queers. We’re fucking resilient. We shouldn’t have to be. But we have learned how to survive, because it was the only option in a hostile world.

And the thing about gay bars is that even if we don’t go to bars, as a queer person you go to gay bars. Maybe not as a regular, but you’ve gone. And it’s always safe and it’s always welcome. For some of us, it’s the only place where we feel that. That’s the thing about having to always find your family – some places become sacred. So fuck your hate. Fuck your christofascist morality crusades. We’re still going to our places. Because they’re ours.

You can’t scare us away. You can’t terrorize us back into the closet. You can’t harass us out of existence. We’re here, we’re queer. We belong. Your hate doesn’t.

My Weekend Crush

Well, I didn’t quite get to that TLW:GQ premiere review. But I am still going to write it for early next week. Instead I decided to do some self care and took two gummies and watched the GBBO finale and just loved all those adorable dorky bakers. So here’s some weekend self care for you. Cate Blanchett in a suit. That’s it, that’s the self-care. Happy weekend, all.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com

Coven of Gayness, err, Goodness

What, two days of good news in a row? The new “Agatha: Coven of Chaos” (a spinoff from the pretty excellent “WandaVision”) is shaping up to be pretty excellent as well. In addition to its bewitching (see what I did there) lead Kathryn Hahn, the series will star Aubrey Plaza (yes, that Aubrey Plaza) and SNL alum Sasheer Zamata (and also Joe Locke, if you’re a “Heartstopper” fan).

“WandaVision” is by far the favorite so far in the Marvel Television Universe, but then I’m always partial to shows with a so-called Strong Female Lead. And if it’s Strong Female LeadS, well all the better. Look, I’ve been into witchy stuff since at lease Willow and Tara. So I am ready for some coven chaos, and if they smooch then all the better. Do I expect them to smooch? No. But Kathryn, Aubrey and Sasheer have all played gay/smooched ladies on screen already, so why fix what ain’t broke?

p.s. Instead of a Pre-L, this week I’ll just do an premiere episode review instead. I plan to have it up Friday but, again, everything has been moving more slowly for me lately – so intentions and results may not always coincide. I hope to Pre-L the rest of the season, but again we shall see. Thanks for sticking with me.

How to Donate To My Little Life Implosion Fund:

Venmo: @Dorothy-Snarker
Paypal: idgie2@hotmail.com