I’m honestly not entirely clear who won “Dancing With the Stars.” I just know JoJo Siwa didn’t win. And, honestly, that’s a shame. No disrespect to whomever the winner was (again, I hardly know who most of the contestants are). But JoJo has radiated a certain kind of joy and positivity, while still being vulnerable and honest. As the first same-sex couple to perform on the show in now its 30th season, she made that most important of impacts – representation. Also, the girl can dance. And that Prince Charming number? Please, every queer gal had a little swoon at that fairytale moment. So congratulations, JoJo. Thanks for being the first, and may there be so many more to come. Happy Monday, kittens.
p.s. The way she just full-out sings “Born This Way” while dancing? Yeah, the kids are all right.
I’ve never been to an Adele concert. But, if I’m lucky enough to score tickets one of these days, I want to be the one dancing in the stands like Emma Thompson at the special “An Audience With Adele” special you kittens across the pond were able to watch over the weekend. As a crass American, I don’t have access to the whole show. But I know Emma dancing her ass off is the spiritual energy I want to bring into this holiday weekend. I say spiritual, because after everything I’ve consumed this week the only dancing I’m doing is from the couch to the refrigerators. Happy weekend, all.
p.s. I know Emma’s dancing culminated with her reuniting Adele with her childhood inspiration and English teacher. So, in case you also want a good cry with to come after your wild dancing, enjoy.
We all have that one teacher who changed our life… such a beautiful reunion! ❤️
Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate! Now, the Thanksgiving movie is the rare bird among holiday movies (see what I did there, bird). But there are some notable ones. And the best ones always have a gay undercurrent. Hello, “Home for the Holidays” directed by Jodie freaking Foster. I rest my case. But lest we forget in 2000 the universe have us “What’s Cooking?” While not perhaps a great movie, it was a great attempt at a multicultural framing of a traditional American holiday. And did I mention that Kyra Segdwick and Julianna Margulies play LESBIAN LOVERS? They’re pregnant of course, because this was a movie with lesbians in it from the early 2000s. I forgot how, uh, suggestive that split-second turkey stuffing scene was. And people say Julianna doesn’t make a convincing lesbian on “The Morning Show.” As a non-watcher, I can’t judge (well, except for some well-edited clips, ahem). But 21 years ago, I think she earned her honorary toaster oven. I mean, obviously, lose the bandana. But otherwise, passable. Happy turkey (and other things) stuffing day, all.
Straight women have Stanley Tucci slurping pasta all over the Italian countryside. Gay women have Padma Laksmi exploring the culinary diversity of America. And as much as we all love the Tucci, Padma tucking in the food that actually inspired Thanksgiving dinner, well, that’s like Christmas came early for me. The first series was a fascinating look into America’s culinary heritage, one that is built like the rest of this country on the backs of immigrants and their ability to mesh their unique traditions into the fabric of our nation — whether some choose to acknowledge that heritage or not. But this is our country’s history, and if nothing else it certainly tastes delicious.
Someone mentioned Private Vasquez from the 1986 sequel “Aliens” as one of the best (and only) butch female representations in mainstream blockbusters. And you know what, 35 years later and it’s unfortunately still genuinely hard to think of positive butch female character from major studio productions. But Vasquez, well, she was definitely and unapologetically butch. And, very very hot. Plus, if you stop the video 2 seconds before the finish, she even gets a happy ending.
p.s. The hot tank top action, well, that’s my gift to you at the start of this holiday season.
I wonder if watching MUNA make their national television debut on “The Late Late Show with James Corden” for Gen Z queer women today is like what it felt like watching the Indigo Girls make their national television debut on “Late Night With David Letterman” for this Gen Xer back in 1989. Truly, no matter the era or the age, it’s a thrill to see artists who sing about us as LGBTQ+ people and our loves find a national stage. Plus, love the major gay prom vibes. Happy Monday, kittens.
I miss “Gentleman Jack.” Like, a lot. Like, hurry up already and give us our second season already a lot. I know I said this already, but I need that jolt of pure live-action lesbian period piece romance. I know I’ve grumbled in the past about movies only giving us lesbian period dramas. But lesbian period romance is something different. This is the swoony kissing on mountaintops stuff of our dreams. Never mind that in real life Anne Lister was definitely a Tory and interested only in the concerns of the privileged land-owning aristocracy. In make-believe heaven she’s the romantic lead of our olden times dreams. Fine, maybe without that hair. But still. That Gentleman, she’s a keeper. And, of course, so is that rainbow cardigan on Suranne Jones. Happy weekend, all.
p.s. I am also still impatiently waiting my chance to finally see Suranne play a modern lesbian. Hurry up and release “Vigil” across the pond so us American yokels can watch too.
I can’t believe there are only 44 days left in 2021. Like it seems forever ago since January 1, but then how can it almost be 2022 already? Can you believe that fetid orange turd was still president at the start of this year? And that somehow we’re STILL in a damn pandemic? I can’t wrap my mind around any of it. So instead of even trying, I’m going to look at beautiful women in beautiful suits. Pinstripe. Solids. Tweeds. With vests. Without vests. Yes, yes, also yes and again yes. Now who cares about the endless march of time and relentless onslaught of daily life? I mentioned some of the suites are pinstripe, right?
Brandi Carlile
Brandi doesn’t have any tour dates next year near me yet and I’m rather cross about it. But not cross enough to ignore her lovely brown grandpa suit here.
Janelle Monae
Pinstripes and polka dots? With her impeccable Suit Cred anything is acceptable.
America Ferrera
Has America played a lesbian before? Because she had the way we sit down pat.
Regina King
I had a real double-breasted suit thing when I was younger, and now that I think about it I had great taste back then.
Aubrey Plaza
Honestly, I hate these formal shorts. But then I love tweed. And I still think Abby should have picked Riley instead. So there’s that.
Jennifer Hudson
All-white suits are nearly impossible to pull off. And I’m telling you J-Hud does it flawlessly.
Tessa Thompson
See, all of a sudden you don’t care what year it is either.
So the new “And Just Like That...”/Sex and the City: Generation Q trailer came out. And, um, things are definitely more queer than they used to be with the ladies who brunch. I don’t know if this is yet another case of Wishful Gay Thinking, but does Miranda seem...interested?
Besides the obvious (and now bittersweet) inclusion of the show’s obligatory gay BFFs Stanford Blatch (the late Willie Garson) and Anthony Marentino (Mario Cantone), the SATC universe may have finally beefed up its queer female representation. Yes, I know, there was the thing where they had Samantha hooked up with a fiery lesbian artist played by Sonia Braga. And they had Miranda kiss that one lesbian lawyer to make sure. And they had Charlotte temporarily run with a gang of Power Suit Lesbians because why not. Right, and they had SJP’s Carrie kiss Alanis Morissette and then immediately freak out and flee the premises. But, besides that, there truly have not been any regular queer female characters in their New York City. And that’s just crazypants because you NYC gals have the Cubbyhole.
Anyway, while I haven’t read any official confirmation that “And Just Like That...” now verified Lesbo Street Cred, here is a completely speculative assessment of the possibly, maybe and definitely queer content in the series revival’s first teaser trailer.
Evie in the City
Any show that casts Nicole Ari Parker always gets some residual Lesbo Street Cred because of her seminal role in the 1995 indie cinema darling and teen lesbian rom-com “The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love.” Just to clarify, I don’t think her character who appears to be a new bestie of Charlotte’s is queer, mind you. But you can never be sure.
We’re Roommates, Honest
So I don’t know who this super cool and fun-seeming mystery stranger Miranda is conversing with on the subway platform, but I detect more chemistry in that split-second arm touch than between Katherine Heigl and Alexis Bledel during the entire 95-minutes of “Jenny’s Wedding.” Yes, I am reaching back into the wayback lesbian cinema machine for this post, why do you ask?
Sara. Freaking, Ramirez.
Truly, need I say more?
Lesbian Twinsies Already
Getting awfully matchy matchy with their clothing color schemes.
Fine, It’s Steve
Fine, Steve made the trailer along with who I can only assume is their tall ginger son.
Again, all this could just be Wishful Gay Thinging. But a queer gal can dream until Dec. 9.
Remember when celebrities used to slink away to foreign countries to make flashy, high-profile commercials so as not to damage their brands and appear to be sellouts? Like, the whole premise of “Lost in Translation” is based on the former practice of quietly going to Japan to shill for major corporations. Those days, clearly, are long gone as capitalism gotta capitalism in every aspect of our public and private lives. What celebrity isn’t trying to sell you a credit card or coffee maker or bottle of over-priced perfume these days?
Anyway, this is an overly complicated way of saying because of the glut of celebrity advertising I somehow missed this commercial for H&M starring Winona Ryder and Elizabeth Olsen (pre-WandaVision) back when it came out in 2018. TikTok helped resurface it to my attention, well a short clip of Winona and Liz dancing at least, that made me hunt for the full clip which led me to the ad which led me to my long-winded intro.
Now, I know this commercial is trying to sell me clothes. But if you stop before the logo shows at the end it plays like a PSA about how boring men are to dance with and how you should try a series of female dance partners instead until a beautiful, mysterious woman shows up to sweeps you off your feet. What? Stop the video at 1:14 and tell me this isn’t your take away from this whole thing. And if that’s the case, I’m buying what they’re selling.
In between albums, what I miss most about Adele is of course that voice. But, honestly, it’s also that cheeky attitude. Part of her charm is her realness, and an obvious sense of humor about herself and the world. May she continue to delight us while making us weep (with laughter, or just as we sing along alone in our cars) for years and years and years to come. Happy Monday, kittens.
It almost pains me to say this, because reality television has all too often been an cynical cesspool of toxic stereotypes and lazy tropes, but I kinda sorta actually liked “Tampa Baes.” And by “liked” I mean, is maddeningly watchable. The new Amazon Prime Video documentary series about a group of lesbian friends who live and party in the Tampa Bay area is everything I should hate about reality television. Handpicked pretty people, manufactured drama, sensationalized in-fighting, endless partying. Mix, take a shot, flip a table, repeat.
But somewhere along the way the show figured out that the interior lives of these young queer women was just as interesting – if not a lot more interesting – than all their exterior fighting, fucking, crying, drinking et al. Granted, the first couple episodes are heavy on the flashy, trashy stuff. But if you stick it out, you’re rewarded at times with unexpected warmth and depth.
“Tampa Baes” works best when instead of dwelling on the inevitable bar fights of pontoon boat fights or Pride float fights, it lets the queer women simply talk about their lives. One woman grew up in a conservative Christian household and still struggles with her alienation from the church while creating a new sense of spirituality for herself. Another women has yet to come out to her grandparents, and allows cameras to follow her process in a raw way that will feel universal to many, many LGBTQ+ folks. While some of these frank moments barely break the surface, the earnestness with which these queer women recognize and share their own issues (be they with mental health or unaccepting families or struggles with finances) is commendable. That is the stuff I care about, not who is the self-proclaimed It Couple of Tampa. If only more reality TV realized that.
The show works best in those moments, when the superficial drama of the moment gives way to these underlying issues or long-festering traumas. The more we learn, the less each women remains a cardboard cut-out of whatever archetypal persona we thought we knew – the fuckboi, the party girl, the drama queen, the disaster artist. I was surprised by how some of these conversations actually felt organic, instead of the Very Special Episode-y.
Granted, it’s not all introspective or existential. The show is, as mentioned, packed with pretty people. All the same complaints about the original “The L Word” could be copy and pasted onto “Tampa Baes.” A mostly white or light-skinned cast. A mostly thin and largely feminine-presenting cast. BIPOC cast members are too often peripheral. And, again, we are treated to too many dumb, drunken fights and annoying, superficial “It Couple” posturing.
Drinks get thrown. Trash gets talked. Stupid shit happens. Characters get the Villain Edit and the Hero Edit and the usual other manipulations of so-called “reality” television. But that’s only to be expected. What I didn’t expect is that they’d be able to, at times, break through reality TV’s worst impulses and let the shared messiness of figuring out our queer lives shine through instead. Bottom line, for still sometimes for worse but luckiy also sometimes for better this show is just damn watchable. So happy watching and weekend, all.
I’m always a little baffled by why Cobie Smulders isn’t on every queer gals Hall Pass list. (But you know, a theoretical list, not an actual list since the “Hall Pass” idea is dumb and generally unrealistic and likely sexist in origin, but I digress.) Anway, Cobie has that hot brunette with a great jawline thing going on which is a knee weakener for many of us (I blame/thank Lynda Carter/Wonder Woman).
Cobie has pinned her recent success to that other comics brand (Marvel) as that other female superhero (Agent Maria Hill) and done very well. Yet she somehow still eludes the mass adulation status à la your Cate Blanchetts or your Gillian Andersons among many queer gals. This is despite playing gay in some memorable roles from her appearance as the hot lesbian artist who made the dangerous baby mobile in the original “The L Word” run, or the hot bisexual private detective who made bad life decisions in the sadly cancelled “Stumptown.” The standalone episode where her Dex hooks up with a lady assassin? Come on, that was HOT.
Obviously, I could be wrong about my perception of the queer girl crush size on Cobie. But perhaps it was spending nine seasons on such an aggressively heterosexual show as “How I Met Your Mother” that left her a little off our radars. I mean, any show that turned Neil Patrick Harris into The Ultimate Bro is the heterosexual agenda, periodt.
So, in an effort to right our corrective courses when it comes to Cobie, here is her photoshoot from French fashion magazine L'Officiel’s Australian edition. Her appearance in a variety of suits should help remind people of her crushworthiness. Also, come on, her last name is Smulders. I mean, that’s just custom-made for smoldering (or should I say Smulder-ing) lesbo-hearththrobbery. That and all the suits.
I know for some it might seem counterintuitive for a lesbian to care deeply about abortion. (Which, obviously, is dumb because lesbians need abortions for all manner of reasons.) But honestly the current national debate about abortion should be maddening for all regardless of sexual orientation or gender. All this ceaseless moralizing is just a convenient way to control women and pregnant people, particularly poor people and people of color. Make no mistake, the only thing these abortion bans will do is make it unsafe for women and pregnant people to end their unwanted pregnancies again. Abortions will still happen, period. They’ll continue to be easy to access for the rich, but become unsafe and potentially deadly for the not rich.
What I think the framing of the abortion debate really is (besides obvious Christian-right propaganda and typical patriarchal bullshit) another example of how our culture continues to other-ize perfectly normal largely female activities. Take ads for period products. Like, for fuck’s sake, we’ve all grown up with a lifetime of watching blue liquid be poured onto pads because it’d be too “gross” to show fake blood. Somehow the concept of menstruation is too icky for polite people to talk about despite more than half the world’s population experiencing it basically every month for literally decades of their lives.
Part of what makes Cicily Strong’s* “Goober the Clown Who Had an Abortion When She was 23”-sketch work so well is it deflates the typical “Not something we talk about in polite society”-ness of abortion. She’s not making fun or light of abortion, quite the opposite. She’s instead skewering the absurdity of the taboo that says women and people who have been pregnant should hide and never talk about their abortions. One in three women will have an abortion in her lifetime. It’s not shameful, it’s healthcare. And you probably know and love someone very much who has had one and is grateful they are safe, legal and accessible.
The only shame is if we let a loud minority (because, again, most American support safe and legal abortion) control us. So honka-honka off with that nonsense. And don’t ever clown around with women and pregnant people’s right to choose.
*My tired brain appreciates the spell checks! Doh!
