Music Monday: Brandi AND Alanis

I know, I know. But it’s Brandi AND Alanis! BRANDI AND ALANIS! On “Uninvited”! With the PRIMAL SCREAM. Also, Alanis needs to drop the yoga routine because if I tried to headbang like that my dang head would snap off my dang neck. All us perimenopausal Gen X ladies want to rock out so hard, but know the chiropractic bill afterward isn’t worth risking it. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend (Canadian) Crush

Dear Canadian Kittens,

I am so thrilled for you that today you get to watch lesbian beer league softball shenanigans. I so want to join in on the fun. But, alas, the Crave series has no U.S. distribution yet. (Though New Zealand and Australia, you seem to be in luck.) And because our barely sentient racist Cheeto for a president is The Worst In Every Way, who knows when this Canadian delight will trickle down to us. I get it, and honestly America deserves your disdain. Would it help to tell you that at least 48.3% of us are really, really, really sorry about all this *waves arms at the horrors*? We hate it too. And we WILL vote this November. Again, we can’t apologize enough for being such bad neighbors.

With Love on Behalf of Your Sane American Friends,
Ms. Snarker

p.s. Happy weekend, all!

GGALGG: Emmys Edition

I had such a busy first-week back I haven’t even had a chance to discuss the Emmys! And lots of people I like won! Did I mention I watched “Widow’s Bay” on the plane? Because I did, and I can assuredly tell you it is both funny and scary because I both laughed out loud and jump scared mid-flight. Anyway, where was I? The Television Academy and its golden statuette that looks shockingly like Megan Stalter. Since we still can, I’ll be mainly highlighting the WLW attendees. You know, the queer ladies and gay girlies and them/them hotties and such. We’re here, we’re queer, we’re GGALGGs.

Hannah Einbinder

I can’t tell if Hannah and her frequent red carpet companion Ellie Neilson are a mixed GGALGG/SGALGG couple, or a full-on GGALGG couple in this shot.

Now I really can’t tell.

Kristen Kish

I want the cameraperson to move just a little to the left, a little more, a little more…

Emma D'Arcy

I haven’t watched “House of the Dragon,” but they’re so handsome sometimes I think – well. And then I remember they wear a long wig in it and I’m like nevermind.

Cynthia Nixon

The older I get the more I appreciate a flowing, amorphous, not-body fitting gown on, really, anyone. Like, I hope it also has pockets, honey.

Niecy Nash

Niecy and her wife Jessica Betts are always a favorite on the carpet. Hey, stop it, head out of the gutter. They look too glamorous for carpet jokes.

Megan Stalter

Whereas if you want to make a trophy wife joke about Meg and her girlfriend Maddie Allen, I will allow it.

Louisa Jacobson

I liked Louisa’s after-party suit (purple) better than her award show suit (black). But, truly, I’m just so tickled one of Meryl’s girls is a hot masc/one of us.

Ayo Edebiri

Admit it, if Ayo, Zendaya and Quinta Brunson turned to look at you like this and asked if you wanted to be their unicorn you would find yourself a sparkly fake horn so fast.

But then you’d be sad because you realize they weren’t talking to you. They were talking to Denée Benton, Cynthia Nixon, Louisa Jacobson and Carrie Coon across the room.

Bonus SGALGG:

Look, I know Rhea Seehorn just playing a lesbian and and Carrie Coon is just sporting a lesbian haircut. But we gotta throw the straight ladies something, they willingly date men. That’s how you know sexuality isn’t really a choice. Poor dears.

Great British Waiting Show

I know I’m late today. Maybe I’m just getting over my jealousy that you folks across the pond got to see Nigella Lawson’s debut on “Great British Bake-Off”/”The Great British Baking Show” yesterday and I still need to wait until Friday. So, soil me, how was it? I need all the cozy baking and inappropriate innuendos I can get in days/decades like these.

To the Sterling Point

So, I know I ask variations on this questions a lot, but – for real, should I be watching “Sterling Point”? I’ve heard such good things about this series from “My Old Ass” creator Megan Park. A teen girl from New York inherits her grandpa’s remote Canadian island and drama ensues when she meets her secret sister – but at least some of that drama is sapphic in nature (as is that secret sister). I won’t lie, these days I can feel some kind of way about watching teen stories, wlw or otherwise. This Gen X perimenopausal gal isn’t even sure if she has the patience to sit through teen drama, let alone interest. Then there’s also the desire to not seem like a creepy old lady. But, again, I keep hearing good things. So, anyone wanna admit to watching the latest teen drama?

p.s. Also, sorry my Canadian kittens, I hope the story of an American who comes in and causes drama in your lovely country is not too triggering right now. We are really, really, endlessly sorry about our barely sentient Cheeto-in-Chief.

Music Monday: Dolly Rocks

I’m still not over it. I’ll probably never be over it. When I watch other incredibly famous musicians rejoice in sharing a stage with Dolly Parton, like during her Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame induction, I’m reminded that we’re far from alone in our sorrow and our loss. Which in a way is a comfort. Plus, hot damn, could that lady write a song. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Sometimes, you just want to reminisce about a time when Tina Fey wore this to host “Saturday Night Live.” After a long week of playing catch-up back at work, I think I deserve it. She is my ultimate triple threat: funny, smart and tuxedo. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Follows Suit

I still haven’t watched the “Little House on the Prairie” reboot yet. Will grandma be showing up in a suit? Because that would convince me. Or, hear me out, how about a gender-swapped “Mike Hammer” reboot with Megan Follows as hard-boiled Det. Hammer. You’ve got to admit, she’s pulling off the hat and the pinstripes.

Vacation Vixen: Megan Thee Stallion

Full disclosure again, I’m back at work today. But I didn’t have my shit together for a real post yet. Still, I wanted to make sure our final Vixen was wearing something workplace appropriate on her body-ody-ody. With a pen at the ready and everything. Ahh.

Vacation Vixen: Olivia Wilde

I hereby declare Formal Tank Top a new category of dress, and further decree that Olivia has set the standard.

Vacation Vixen: Anne Hathaway

Truly, how has she found the energy for this year’s output? “Mother Mary,” “The Devil Wears Prada 2,” “The Odyssey,” “The End of Oak Street” and “Verity.” Like, if anyone deserves a relaxing spa day. Or a vertical bath.

Vacation Vixen: Meryl Streep & Anna Wintour

And now, for Casual Friday, how about the opposite of effortlessly dapper? Mostly I just love Meryl being a goofball in the face of The Fashion. Thus ends professionalism week. That is all.

Vacation Vixen: Tina Turner & Friends

I just want to look this effortlessly dapper once in my life. Preferably with equally effortlessly dapper hotties surrounding me too. But, you know, I’ll never be Tina so I can’t be too greedy.

Vacation Vixen: Michelle Pfeiffer

*low whistle* When you’re out Clark Gableing Clark Gable.