The First Post

I have been pretty excited about “The Miseducation of Cameron Post” movie since it was announced. And now that the first trailer has been released, that excitement has only grown. And it’s proof all those studios who hemmed and hawed missed the fuck out. Their loss is our gain. While even three years ago a story like this might have feel like a quaint historical relic, today it is a reminder we are never too far away from people thinking what we are is wrong and must be fixed.

My Weekend Fuck Donald Trump

Look, us Friends of Dorothy have known forever that Donald Trump is a bad person. None of us had to be convinced of his greed or his narcissism or his cruelty or his ignorance. None of us were bamboozled by his bluster or his “billions.” Us queers knew, even way back when, that he was a monster. And we let it be known. In fact, you could say, we warned you.

Need proof? Well, how about this 1989 protest by ACT UP at Trump Tower. Yes, you read that right, 1-9-8-9. Almost 30 years ago queer activists were out there telling the world that this man was garbage. Absolute and complete garbage.

Now that we’ve gotten where we are, with Trump on the verge of appointing his second lifetime appointment to the Supreme Court, I can’t help but think what is Straight White America had listened when we warned them? What is Straight White America had heeded the desperate plea of vulnerable communities (your POC neighbors, your immigrant neighbors, your Muslim neighbors, your female neighbors, your LGBTQ neighbors) instead of being disinterested in our fates. What is Straight White America had cared about what happened to us as much as themselves?

Well, we’ll never know. But we can only hope, as his horrible, terrible man gets to turn back the legal landscape in our country for at least the next generation, that they’ve learned their lesson. Happy weekend and Fuck Donald Trump, all.

When I Am An Old Lesbian I Will Listen To Hayley

Since we were talking about music already, here is something that might be relevant to your interests. Well, now this is sweet. Older lesbians learning about Hayley Kiyoko remind me of me anytime I try to read the MTV Movie Awards celebrity guest list. Who? What? Aw, that’s cute. And it is, it is quite cute. Never mind purple, when I am an old lesbian I will listen to Hayley.

The Itsy Bitsy Cersei

I have never related to anything more in my life than Lena Headey running away from a man trying to show her a spider. In fact, if I was her I would have gone all Cersei Lannister on the situation. BURN IT ALL DOWN WITH WILDFIRE, CERSEI, BURN IT ALL DOWN.

Brooklyn Hi-Hi

I’ve decided to give “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” a try. Now that it has been rescued by NBC, I think it just might be worth enduring Andy Samberg to see Stephanie Beatriz and Gina Rodriguez flirt with one another. But then, almost anything is worth watching to see Stephanie Beatriz and Gina Rodriguez flirt with one another. More of this on NBC, show. More of this. And, you know, more big, badass and bi Det. Rosa Diaz in general, please.

Music Monday: Rachel Cantu Edition

In my ongoing and endless mission to gay up your lives, here is Rachel Cantu’s new song, “Run Free.” The very talented singer-songwriter is married to the also very, talented TV writer-producer Liz Feldman (of “Ellen” and “This Just Out” and “2 Broke Girls” fame). And this song just makes me happy. And is super gay. So what more could you want from a little Monday Music?

My Weekend Crush

I like Tessa Thompson a lot. Like a lot a lot. I’ve seen her in “Thor: Ragnarok,” and “Westworld” and “Selma” and even an episode of “Rizzoli & Isles” among other things over the years. And one of her more remarkable abilities is to chameleon herself into her roles. Put Julia Roberts in any role and you’re always like, “OK, we get it, you’re Julia Roberts.” But with Tessa you watch her for a while and then go, “Oh yeah, that’s Tessa.” That’s a good quality to have for an actor. A very good quality.

She has been described as “an unapologetic, complex actress, who seeks out unapologetic, complex characters.” Nowhere is this more evident than in her personal life, where she had championed Time’s Up and other progressive, feminist movements. And, of course, there’s her veryclose relationships with Janelle Monae.

Last week Tessa took another big step and came out as bisexual in a cover story for the fashion magazine Net-a-Porter. She said:

“I can take things for granted because of my family – it’s so free and you can be anything that you want to be. I’m attracted to men and also to women. If I bring a woman home, [or] a man, we don’t even have to have the discussion.”

And about her relationship with also recently out Janelle and her Vagina Pants she said:

“We love each other deeply. We’re so close, we vibrate on the same frequency. If people want to speculate about what we are, that’s okay. It doesn’t bother me.”

Now, of course, folks ran with the “we love each other deeply” part as confirmation they’re in a relationship. But Tessa herself put on some brakes and tweeted:

Sometimes we cheer so loudly at someone speaking their truth, that we miss what they say. (Here’s looking at you media journalism). I didn’t say I was in a relationship. But I said lots of other things. All below. One thing I missed — Pride Has No End. x https://t.co/yEd0Ep6K17

— Tessa Thompson (@TessaThompson_x) June 29, 2018

Two things: 1) Good for her for coming out! And 2) Good for all of us for her coming out! Whenever a famous person comes out it makes us all feel a little less along. Those of us who, as Hannah Gadsby would say, exist in the margins, each person who steps up to speak her or his or their truth is another acknowledgment of our shared humanity. It’s that connection we crave.

So congratulations, Tessa. And thank you. Happy weekend, all.

ETA: It should go without saying that just as homophobia is not welcome here, neither is biphobia. But, alas, it seems it does need to be said. Biphobia is unacceptable. Nor, while we are at it, is transphobia. Making broad and hateful generalizations on an entire group of people based on stereotypes about their sexual orientation or gender identity is everything I stand against. If you cannot accept and embrace the entire spectrums of the LGBTQ community then please find another blog and/or planet to frequent. (Note: Blogger has stopped notifying when I receive new comments, so I do not see all of the posts as quickly as I used to, hence the delay in response. My apologies.)

To The Max

True confession, I binged all of the last season of “Orange Is the New Black” over the weekend it debuted last June – except the final episode. And to this day I still haven’t watched the finale. I just haven’t felt inspired enough to care. Last season was problematic for me, for many reasons. Having an entire season play out over the few days of the prison riot was…a choice. In the end it felt like a painful way to prolong our agony. But that’s what happens sometimes when writers make the creative choices to prove a point but instead kill the heart of their show (see: Poussey Washington and Dana Fairbanks). So now I don’t know how I feel about OITNB’s upcoming season. Given the change in locale (from minimum to max) I am going to assume things didn’t go so hot for the ladies of Litchfield in that last episode. But the question remains, do I care enough to follow them to the even bigger house? Time will tell when it returns later this month. But at least we get some new credits. The song, however, remains the same. (So if you are one of those skip the credits types, proceed as normal.)

It's a whole new world. Nothing is the same, including the Season 6 opening credits. Can you spot the difference? pic.twitter.com/weQ32ZMiQH

— Orange Is the New... (@OITNB) June 13, 2018

America! America! America!

I can think of nothing more patriotic on this Fourth Of July than encouraging Americans to get involved in our political system. Be that voting, volunteering, donating or running for office yourself, do something. Democracy is not a spectator sport. And, as we have seen since January 2017, if not carefully tended and rigorously watched over, our democracy can be compromised. And compromised quite easily, as this past week has shown us. The sense of security we have had for far too long about the moral arc of the universe always bending toward justice has been revealed as overly optimistic. It won’t bend unless we make it bend. That means everyone must reach out and grab hold and fight for what we believe this country should be with all of our might.

Which brings me to today’s post. This is a very good political ad. I know I have been posting a couple of these lately, but it is only to highlight some of the great, smart, and female candidates running for office this year. MJ Hegar is running against a Tea Party Republican in Texas. She served as a major in the US Air Force and the Air National Guard and completed three tours of duty in Afghanistan. She also has one of the very best political ads I’ve seen in a long time. And even if you don’t live in Texas and get to vote for her, I hope you are getting excited about voting these bastards out and finally putting a check on the ignorant, hateful, corrupt asshole in the Oval Office. We can vote them out, and we can replace them with people like MJ Hegar.

For the love of all that is good, please register and vote in the midterms. I am not above begging.

You're Standing on My Reboot

Daria and her combat boots were a big part of my youth. Her deadpan cynicism and piercing intelligence remain aspirational – and I still have a thing for combat boots, too. I own the complete box set and am still cranky they wouldn’t get the rights to the real music. But I digress. When I heard late last month that they were planning on rebooting the “Daria” series, I was a) excited, and b) worried. Excited because Daria Morgendorffer ranks among Liz Lemon, Leslie Knope, Buffy Summers, Wonder Woman and Princess Leia as my favorite fictional female characters of all time. Worried because our current reboot fever has a spotty record at best.

I’m encouraged that the new Daria series comes from TV writer Grace Edwards, whose past credits include “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” and “Inside Amy Shumer,” two shows I’ve enjoyed greatly. The new series will be called “Daria and Jodie,” and focus on Daria’s friendship with Jodie Landon, who in the original series was a stand-out student who often chaffed against having to be the model minority at the school (along with her football star boyfriend Mack). I haven’t seen any mention of Jane Lane, but dammit all she’d better be there, too. Daria without Jane is no Daria at all. Oh, and definitely make Jane gay in the new series. Definitely.

Naked Lady Monday: Sue & Megan Edition

Remember how I always say representations matters? Well, highly toned and incredibly chiseled representation matters, too. Ahem. Fans of everyone’s favorite not-so guilty pleasure, ESPN The Body Issue, were treated to the first-ever out gay couple on its cover this year. Pro basketball’s Sue Bird and pro soccer’s Megan Rapinoe graced the cover and pages of The Body Issue together. And it was good, it was very, very good.



As Megan told the magazine in the accompanying interview:

“I think neither of us really wants to just do things and be like, ‘We're the gay couple.’ But to have this really unique vehicle to actually do that, to celebrate who we are in our sport, but also the fact that we'll be the first gay couple, is pretty special. It's pretty amazing to think about, especially in the times we're in. Just think of how far we've come, but also the current climate and defiance in the face of that. Not only are we female athletes, but we're dating as well. It's kind of badass.”

Have I mentioned this photo shoot, even the strange lost in the forest shots, are very good? Because it is.

My Weekend Crush

Rarely has the phrase, “What a dame,” been leveled with such accuracy as at Emma Thompson. Now, my love for Emma is well documented. I am well-versed in all of her nuanced awesomeness – from demanding women always eat dessert to her insistence she never fiddle with her face to her apology for initially signing that petition, to her love of big words, to her hate of Trump, to her steadfast support of women everywhere and all-around delightfulness in general. And now, all of that amazing is a full dame. Like, capital D, comes from the queen, Dame. And, it certainly couldn’t have happened to a nicer dame. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Say it with me, Dame Emma Freakin’ Thompson.

Gender Fuck Thursday: My Dear Watson Edition

I don’t know if you’ve been watching “Elementary” or not this season. But you should be. One, because it’s so much better and less dude-centric than the Brit’s “Sherlock.” And two because Lucy Liu continues to absolutely slay it with her impeccable suit game. Now I’ve talked about Lucy’s suits before. About two years ago, to be exact. And her suits have only gotten better since then. While she used to prefer frillier, flouncier ties and scarves, these days she has gone straight-up traditional suit-and-tie (and, fine, one bow tie) and it.is.good. It is so good. But, you know, don’t take my word for it. See and deduce for yourself, kittens.

Call Me By Nanette's Name

On Sunday morning of Pride Weekend, when all the rest of the gays were brunching, I watched Hannah Gadsby’s new Netflix comedy special “Nanette” with some friends in their living room. And, apologies to the brunch set, but it was the absolute gayest shit I could have done at that particular moment in time. More gay than watching a parade and much more gay than marching behind a corporate sponsor in a parade. Now, let’s back track and bit and see how we got here.

Last week a bunch of you posted or commented or replied to me that I had to watch this “Nanette” business. I had no idea what this “Nanette” business was, but The Internet told me to do it and I’ve never been burned by The Internet before. Wait, hold up, strike that and reverse it.

Still, I swallowed my trepidation and watched it on Pride Sunday no less. And, wow. Like, I could not feel that “wow” any more deeply. I believe “Nanette” is what mainstream critics call a “tour de force.” Or, you know, it would be if mainstream critics generally called the things that out lesbian, gender-nonconforming comics who aren’t wafer-thin and wear specs do a “tour de force.”

But that is exactly what her special is. It’s more than just an hour and nine minutes of comedy. It’s an hour and nine minutes of deconstructing why one of the most popular forms of comedy (self-deprecating humor, specifically) actually hurts the people who exist in the margins. You know us – the people of color, the queer people, the trans people, the gender nonconforming people, the women people. Really, the margins are anyone who isn’t our society’s stubborn and inaccurate default of “straight white male.”



“Nanette,” like Cameron Esposito’s also excellent “Rape Jokes” (which actually I had us watch after “Nanette” Sunday morning as an comedy enlightenment double feature), dares its audience to do more than laugh. It dares us to think. To think about ourselves. To think about the world. To step outside of the bubble we put ourselves in every day just to make it through or to make it easier or to reaffirm whatever we already believe to be the unshakeable truth and just marinate in someone else’s life and struggle.

I wasn’t familiar with Hannah Gadsby before I watched “Nanette.” So I cannot thank those of you enough who brought her to my attention. To quote Cameron from my double-header, “The internet is good?” Because what Hannah did was a lot more than just make me laugh that Sunday morning. She reaffirmed to me that to be an out queer woman in this world – or anyone else who exists in the margins – means we have to assert our agency with every last fiber of our bodies. And to do that we have to claim and tell our stories in a way that is honest and inclusive. Because if we don’t, if we fall into the same easy narrative traps, we are simply making the lives of those who already have it the easiest easier.

The world needs to marinate in the tension it has unleashed in our current, untenable political climate. To ban an entire ethnicity and/or religion of people from seeking refuge on our shores – that’s uncivilized and the people who do such a thing should feel tense. To forcibly rip people’s children away and put them in cages for seeking a better life here – that’s uncivilized and the people who do such a thing should feel tense.

Laughter (and penicillin) may be the best medicine, but the truth will set you free. Stop letting bad people off the hook. Also stop letting good people who just don’t like to think about the inherent institutional advantages they’ve been given because of the color of their skin or because of their socioeconomic status not think about those inherent institutional advantages.

The world is a tense place right now, and we shouldn’t pretend otherwise. We can laugh at that together, sure, but also acknowledge that for so many of us just feeling “tense” is a luxury. If we could only feel a little tense and not supremely terrified and profoundly furious at everything that is unfolding before our eyes.

The only way to make us less afraid of each other, less inclined to hate everything that is different is to really think about someone else’s life. Or, just as important, really think about yours and how you got where you are today. Yeah, “Nanette” is intense. But the world is intense. And to pretend otherwise is an easy laugh in a world that has already had far too many easy laugh at the expense those who can afford it the least.