My Weekend Crush

Lynda Carter, and her iconic portrayal of Wonder Woman, makes her a forever hero in my book. And while her public persona has always been delightful, she has taken a very appreciated political bent of late. And has also proven she can throw more than a little presidential shade. Truly, anyone who considers herself (their self or himself) a hero must speak out. These are not normal times and we are facing a not normal threat. When faced with a man so unabashedly and outwardly corrupt, racist, sexist and homophobic all good people must stand up and demand his defeat. So, thanks Lynda. I was already a fan, and now I feel even more validated in the hero worship. Happy safe, healthy and righteous weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Be a Lady Edition

While we’re talking about Cynthia Nixon, how about her performance of the Camille Rainville poem “Be a Lady.” So much of what women face in society is predicated on such absolute rubbish. Be sexy, but not too sexy. Be smart, but not too smart. Blah blah blah. It’s exhausting and, quite frankly, boring. Women, in all of our multitudes, are so much more than what the tiny minds of the patriarchy could ever envision. And while you’re at it, fuck their binary. Be a lady however you like.

Lesbian Storytime

So, over the last few weeks we’ve watched not one, but two high-profile new TV shows with queer female couples at their center. I’m talking about “Ratched” and “The Haunting of Bly Manor,” both on Netflix. Now, I can’t say either are necessarily great. I actually have pretty significant issues with both shows. But I am still glad I watched them both. The fact that we have two popular shows highlighting women in relationships with other women who aren’t just side characters but the main characters remains thrilling. Think back to the days when you waited for The Very Special Lesbian Episode to happen once every year or show, and you can’t help but appreciate the progress we’ve made.

Hands down the best thing about “Ratched” was getting to watch two out queer women play two queer women on screen. I can’t imagine what it must feel like, after a full career already, to be able to express one’s sexual orientation authentically on screen. Truly, it’s the strongest argument for watching “Ratched.” It’s other saving grave, amid the jumbled narrative and whiplash character development, is the candy apple beauty of the show’s costume and set design. Everything feels supersaturated and the colors pop off screen. And, of course, Sarah Paulson and Cynthia Nixon, as well as the rest of the cast, do their level best with the material they’ve been given. If only it lived up to their talent.

As for “The Haunting of Bly Manor,” hands down the best thing about the show is getting to finally add another adorable lesbian florist to our official canon. British actress Amelia Eve’s Jamie is like the melancholy yin to the upbeat yang of fellow British actress Lena Headey’s Luce. They make lovely green-thumbed lesbian bookends. But what I didn’t love about the series was [MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE SHOW AHEAD. MAJOR.] how it romanticized the Dead Lesbian Trope to a ghostly degree. Yes, Jamie and Dani’s love story was beautiful and haunting. And if we were only in it for another pretty sad story that would be fine. But, alas, we are still not quite at the point where our representation is so prevalent that we have the luxury of complete choice. Instead, we keep seeing the same often damaging stories arise, time and time again. Sadness, while part of life, shouldn’t be our dominant narrative on screen. Also, while I am complaining, I wasn’t thrilled that the chief haunting and reason for the cursed home is a feud between two sisters, complete with jealousy and vengefulness. Otherwise, it was a fairly stylish if at times messy haunted house story, with lesbians at its very center. And I do take heart that every generation of queer women has its tragic romance that it must fall in love with. I appreciate that “The Haunting of Bly Manor” will be that story for a whole new generation.

Original Equality

The Constitution didn't even recognize me as a human being when it was first ratified. So, no, I am not a Constitutional originalist. pic.twitter.com/my0SAeRjUw

— Mayor Lori Lightfoot (@chicagosmayor) October 13, 2020

Today is our second wedding anniversary. In celebration of two years of our legally recognized love we plan to bring our mail-in ballots to the official ballot drop-box. Voting is indeed the one thing that can turn around 2020. Will it fix everything automatically? Absolutely not. By the end of this week the Republicans will no doubt have voted through an illegitimate and politically biased nominee into an unabashedly stolen Supreme Court seat. The debate about “Originalism” when it comes to the Constitution sadly remains an abstract philosophy to too many who continue to not recognize their own privilege. But for any of us who aren’t wealthy straight cis-white men (and the people who rely on wealthy straight cis-white men for their status and protection – cough, cough, wealthy straight cis-white women, cough), the Constitution as it was originally written simply does not consider us people. It does not consider us equal with rights that are unalienable. And it does not consider us worthy of the full exercise of our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. So, no, we (including Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot and every other person of color, women, members of the LGBTQ community, et al) are not Originalists. But we are worthy of full equal rights – every last one of us. So vote for Democrats up and down the ballot. For Joe and Kamala. For Democratic governors and senators and congresspeople. For Democratic mayors and city council members and school board trustees. Vote for the one party capable of winning and bringing more people those unalienable rights. Vote. Our continued place in the Constitution depends on it.

Music Monday: Defy the GOP, Vote Edition

Not that you should need additional motivation to vote this year, of all hellish and apocalyptic years. But if you just needed a soundtrack, might I suggest the entire cast of Broadway’s “Wicked” – not to mention the show’s iconic emeritus stars Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel – serenading you as you get ready, make a plan and vote.

My (Belated) Weekend Crush

Whew, well this was, against all odds, actually a very nice weekend. So to end things here are some very nice, and very funny bloopers from my pandemic savior show "Schitt's Creek." Happy safe, healthy and righteous what is left of the weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Lil Cynthia Nixon Edition

If you watched “Ratched,” you were no doubt reminded of how talented Cynthia Nixon is. While narratively the series was a jumble, the cast and the fact that two gay women were playing two gay women on screen made it worth the time. Also worth the time? Catching 7-year-old Cynthia on “To Tell the Truth.” I don’t know why none of us realized she was family earlier. The way she wears that lil cowgirl outfit, you just know.

All in the Numbers, Ladies

Some people say casting a bunch of talented, intelligent, beautiful women and putting them in traditionally male movie roles is just tokenism. But I say, how about you give us a larger sample size before we cast judgment. And, in turn, a larger sample size will eliminate all talk of tokenism. Because, ladies, we all know that us women know how to lie, steal, fight, shoot, kill just like the fellas when the occasion arises. I’m not entirely sure what’s up with the numeric names of these kinds of movies in questions (“Ocean’s 8” and now “The 355”). But, you give me Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyong'o, Penélope Cruz, Diane Kruger and Fan Bingbin all in one movie and I’ll say, let the research begin.

Know Dis

I don’t know about you, but there is something vaguely reassuring about watching Kate McKinnon slowly lose her mind live on “Saturday Night Live.” She’s all of us swimming in our anxiety, rage, exhaustion and chronic exponential dread. What will happen Nov. 3? We do not know dis. But we all have to do everything we can to make it the day we turn around 2020 for the better, finally.

Music Monday: Kelly Does T&S

Yeah, it’s another Monday. And yeah, it’s not Monday, Nov. 2 – yet. But we’ll get there, and each day brings us closer. Oh, and while we’re at it, here’s Kelly Clarkson singing Tegan & Sara’s “Closer” which I believe we can all agree is pertinent to our interests as lesbians…and lesbian supporters. Happy Monday, kittens and kitten supporters.

My Weekend Crush

Look, I’m not saying Kamala Harris was every woman, particularly every Black woman and woman of color, who has been talked over in a meeting by a mediocre white man. In fact, it was even worse because this was an exceptionally accomplished lawyer, former district attorney, former California Attorney General and current U.S. Senator being talked over incessantly to be condescendingly being lied to by a man who refuses to be in the room alone with a womman who isn't his wife. Do men ever get tired of hearing themselves speak? Well, I never tire of hearing Kamala speak – particularly when she speaks truth to power. And reclaiming her time from that barely sentient bottle of off-brand ranch dip was very, very much speaking absolute truth to unchecked power. More of that, always and forever.

"I'm speaking." pic.twitter.com/KOu5MUkrCH

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) October 8, 2020

Now, I could go on and on about how absolutely insane everything is right now. How our “president” is an unhinged racist, sexist, corrupt lunatic roid-raging out about arresting his political enemies and undermining our entire democratic process in front of the whole damn nation while simultaneously doing his best to spread a deadly virus to as many people as possible. Or how we should not, repeat should abso-fucking-lutely not trust the word of anyone in this administration on Trump’s health or – as we can all clearly see – his obvious lack thereof.

But instead I want to remind everyone that Straight Bette Porter is real, and she is going to make an extraordinary Vice President. Honestly, I feel like she is doing it on purpose at this point.

The one good thing that happened this week is our mail-in-ballots arrived. Our vote is truly the only thing that can redeem 2020. Well, that and more of the Harris family having absolutely no fucks to give when it comes to this monstrous excuse for a man in the White House and every last one of his pathetic toadies. Happy safe, healthy and righteous weekend, all.

SORRY I HAD TO pic.twitter.com/U48L51mJSk

— Meena Harris (@meenaharris) October 8, 2020

Gender Fuck Thursday: GOTV Fashion

Well, I don’t know who out there could possibly even pretend to be “undecided” at this point. Someone who has been in a coma since the 1980s? No, because even they knew. Oh, they knew back then. So the only thing left to decide for anyone who is paying attention and has a functioning sense of empathy is what to wear to the polls. Or, you know, what to wear for whatever you’ve decided on as your voting plan this year. Be that while filling out your mail-in/absentee (they’re the same thing, folks) ballot and dropping it at the Post Office or a secure dropbox. Or while going in to vote early in-person while obviously also wearing a mask because you’re not a fucking monster. Yes, the sartorial choices are endless. Like, with Janelle above. Should you wear the impeccably stylish three-piece suit with glasses or the the impeccably stylish three-piece suit without glasses. Decisions, decisions. But the political choice is only one: Vote for Joe and Kamala and for Democrats up and down the ballot.

We Are Also The Weirdos

Lesbians, queer and assorted other weirdos, did you know they made a sequel to “The Craft?” To be fair, ages ago they were talking about it. But I never realized they actually did it. But then, like some dark magic, it’s here. And, to be honest, I still do not know exactly how I feel about it. As any gay gal of a certain age can attest, the original movie may figure into more than a few of our roots. And it spawned one of the o.g. subtext femslashes.

The good news, at very least, is the new film strikes one for inclusion, because the reboot features trans actress Zoe Luna playing a trans witch. That’s kind of a big deal, and no matter how good or bad the new movies is I’m at least happy it will help a community of people who aren’t used to seeing themselves on screen feel a little less alone and a little more seen. Though, if you would like to also make us old-school lesbian fans really, really happy – how about making Robin Tunney and Fairuza Balk appear like magic for a secret reunion onscreen? I mean, what's one little spell for us?

De Plane Boss

Can’t wait to see @KamalaHarris walk on that debate stage pic.twitter.com/HPIN63UXeX

— Meena Harris (@meenaharris) October 6, 2020

Sorry, I got distracted because like a decade's worth of news happened in like 48 hours and my brain was still trying to comprehend the utter moronic recklessness of it all. But what I do know is while I still have grave concerns about the safety of this debate given how the entire Trump Administration is a superspreader, I cannot wait to see Straight Bette Porter clean Mike Pence's Evangelical ass. And, you gotta admit, Kamala deplanes better than anyone else. Even the real Bette Porter.