Rated Lesbian

Uh, did you know there’s a new NC-17 lesbian movie that just got picked up for U.S. distribution and also it’s an NC-17 lesbian movie? I know, I know – I too heard that and started to get some “Blue Is the Warmest Color” terror flashbacks. Like is this sexy for lesbians, or sexy for what straight men think is sexy about lesbians? I don’t know, because I haven’t watched it. But, I can tell you it follows a Canadian journalist and a queer Afghan refugee who meet at a dance party and do things that earn an NC-17 rating. I find it encouraging that at least this movie was both written and directed by women (Tamara Faith Berger and Anita Doron, respectively, though I’m not familiar with either’s work). So, has anyone rented this? And if so, is the NC-17 a good thing or, well, you know.

Tank Top Tuesday: The Queer Cheese

I first found Kate Berlant years ago on original Twitter (not current ex-Twitter, because jesusfuckingchrist) as a person who made funny tweets. But turns out she’s been a professional funny person this whole time?! And also queer?! What? Where have I been?

Did you know she’s dating queer nonbinary hottie Naomi McPherson from MUNA? I mean, she’s freaking dating a rock star! And then I watched her special, and it’s pretty hilarious. And extremely gay! And also hilarious. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, again, because I knew her mostly as a professionally funny tweeter. Think scatalogical modern observational comedy from a fellow phone addict in a new queer relationship. I mean, hello, what’s not to like? Crazy funny plus dating a rock star. Wait, am I jealous? Wait, the special is also named Parmesan? She named it after CHEESE? I am definitely jealous.

p.s. Filming your comedy special debut in a tank top is elite queer shit, no?

Music Monday: More Labour

Of the things I remain eternally grateful for, one of the biggest is that I was not born a straight woman. But then things like mediocre man comic Shane Gillis being a misogynistic asshat mediocre white man hosting SNL happens, and I’m reminded that men continue to be everyone’s problem. So Paris Paloma’s “Labour” still hits on a deep, primal level for women and those subject to the demands of men everywhere – particularly rich straight white men because Issa was so right. So, anyway, a little female rage seems appropriate this week and every week. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Well, I never said I wouldn’t eventually make it to Nigella, did I? I know for some reason it’s been controversial that new “Great British Bake-Off/Great British Baking Show” judge Nigella Lawson takes big bites of food. As if the whole point of her job isn’t eating cake. You think she can taste it with a tiny little nibble? I’m sorry, women need to open their mouths to eat. Crazy! What next, they’ll wear shorts and a tank top to the gym? Also, hello, Nigella’s whole thing is that she’s a great and lusty eater. Know your history, Internets! Anyway, take as big a bite as you want, ladies and everyone who doesn’t have when ladies take big bites. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Comer Get Her

Some Thursdays you just have to stare at Jodie Comer in a blazer without a shirt underneath and nice trousers. What? I said it was a Thursday! On theme objectification, in a respectful way. Anyway, I miss having Jodie on my television on the regular. And, I won’t lie, I haven’t been a fan of the assortment of period pieces and zombie apocalypse films she’s been cast in recently. Like, please, can’t some project make accurate use of her prodigious talents? I mean, look at her just sitting in a chair!

p.s. That face, and those big feet? Please, I am begging, cast her in something worthy.

Dream Duo

Um, hello, are Jane Wickline and Grace Reiter the love children of Tina Fey/Amy Poehler and Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer or what? If SNL lets them, I believe we’re witnessing the start of an extraordinary comedy duo. Like, this skit has no right to be this funny. Put them in all the things together, Lorne Michaels. Also, what a debut for new cast member Grace. Like, that is how you make an entrance. That is as good as Jane's Sabrina Carpenter song, but that wasn't her first skit. This is exactly the unhinged female energy we need and deserve in 2026.

Tank Top Tuesday: Flash Lesbian Dance

Yes, yes, I know this is an ad. But do you want to watch Jennifer Beals dance around with another women for a minute and a half or not? This commercial for the collaboration between GANNI (which I’ve never heard of) and lululemon (which I have heard of but I wear old T-shirts to work out in so I’m clearly not their customer base) features music and dancing by METTE. Now, admittedly, I also don’t know who she is. But apparently she had roles in “The Old Guard,” “Hustlers,” “Cats” and the “Barbie” movie – all films I watched. But I can see why Bette, I mean Jennifer, found her memorable enough to break out the old Flashdance moves. So, as I was saying, enjoy this moment of capitalistic sapphic pandering. Times are hard, we’ll take what we can get. Also Jennifer’s sport bra at the beginning and METTE’s fake-out-leotard count in the Tank Top Cinematic Universe, because it is a Tuesday after all.

p.s. More behind-the-scenes Tank Top Cinematic Universe excellence. For science.

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Music Monday: Olivia & Chappell 4 Eva

Fine, fine! I’m already fully obsessed with this song. Even though I’m way outside the target demographic, the algorithm gods flooded my feed with the “Expectations” music video immediately after it dropped Friday. So I’ve been binging its stylish, campy, joyful John Waters meets “Rocky Horror Picture Show” meets your favorite 70s gameshow bop ever since. I mean, how could you not like a feisty, feminist Olivia Rodrigo and Chappell Roan collab in the year of our Lesbian Jesus 2026? Yes, everything is on fire right now. But it’s also pretty fire (see what I did there, youths?!) that one of the world’s hottest pop stars and the world’s gayest pop stars can come together for an insanely fun, and pointed, banger like this. Chappell screaming, “I’m not kissing no boy! No boy!” in the background should be the new sapphic battle cry. Raise your expectations, ladies. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

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One Almost Lesbian Wedding and a Funeral

Remember when I manifested the Rebecca Ferguson/Greta Lee lesbian rom-com? Did I mention it got better? The film, “Honeymoon/Funeral,” just got picked up by Black Box (the studio behind “Wicker,” so they know how to market crazy shit!). And also Carrie Coon is also somehow in this thing too?

Lest you forgot, the film follows “two women (Ferguson and Lee) who meet on a flight from L.A. to London — one en route to her honeymoon by herself after being left at the altar by her girlfriend, the other headed home for her mother’s funeral — and wind up spending the week together.” We can all place bets on whether Greta is the honeymoon and Rebecca is the funeral, and if Carrie is the cold feet fiancee (as this Deadline post implies…)

But what we know if that its being directed by Nahnatchka Khan, creator of “Fresh Off the Boat,” “Don't Trust the B— in Apartment 23” and “Laid,” and written by Julia Bicknell, a writer/producer on “Yellowjackets,” “The Haunting of Bly Manor” and “13 Reasons Why.” Oh, and they’re a Hollywood power couple (with a very nice house)! I know, sapphics making a sapphic rom-com for us sapphics? Is this heaven, or lesbian Iowa? (37 year old movie reference, anyone?)

During this terrible timeline we all find ourselves trapped in, I take things to look forward to very seriously. So, don’t let me down, “Honeymoon/Funeral.” The gay ladies really need this.

Last Yellowjacket Standing

So I stopped watching this. But, I am curious how it all ends. In the past, that is. We already know how things end for some of these ladies in the present. (Also, because I stopped watching, are there any gays left besides Shauna – in the past or present?) Anyway, who’s still watching. I am thrilled this show has kept Melanie Lynskey employed for four seasons. Cannibalism and all.

Tank Top Tuesday: Gabby Edition

This is an unrepentant Gabby Williams in tank tops appreciation post. Now, I appreciate Gabby in and out of a tank top (hey, not like that – OK, exactly like that). But, what I mean here, is Gabby truly became a superstar this season. After her memorable almost beat us two-pointer in the gold medal match of the last Olympics, she has gone ballistic with the Valkyries, taking them all the way to the championship finals. And, you know, she has that face and those arms. Like, we are powerless to resist that gorgeous full sleeve and her good skincare routine. Also, did I mention I got to see her scream “For the gays!” at Pride Night this June? Because I sure did. Imma pretend those heart hands are for me. I know, I know, they were for Marine Johannes. Is it weird I think how much she obviously loves Marine makes Gabby even hotter? Anyway, tanks (yes, tanks) for everything, Gabby. Go Valks!

Music Monday: Fuck Ice Edition

You know, I’m not much of a Paramore fan, admittedly. But, boy howdy, have I become a Hayley Williams fan. From her righteously blunt “True Believer” to her unabashed political on-stage statements, she’s like the anti-Ed Sheeran. Like screaming “Fuck ICE” with your whole chest and making a whole stadium scream it back? And giving Robert Kraft the vapors with “Free Palestine?” More of this, rock stars. Get some fucking ice in your OJ, you siveling coward millionare musicians. That’s the whole point of having, “Fuck you”-money in the first place, isn’t it? Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

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Now, I bet you thought I’d have picked Nigella. What with Ms. Lawson taking over for Prue Leith and reducing Paul Hollywood to a yes man. But, I must say, I was unexpectedly moved by (Spoilers, but you should just watch, it’s better than therapy honey), Danni’s exit interview. Now, every season has its eccentric and this season Danni was definitely that girl. But, goodness, did she not remind us of the magic of simple human interaction. Like, of course, we just all want to have friends. Truly, I feel a little verklempt anew each time I watch it. Now if we could all find the beauty in strangers, especially those not like us, wouldn’t this be a kinder, happier world? Happy weekend, all.