Tuesday, March 28, 2017

The Trumperfly Effect

Imagine, if you will, an alternate timeline. A timeline where Emma Thompson goes out on a date with Donald Trump in 1998 after he calls her out of the blue while she is in her trailer. A timeline where they then fall in love and get married. A timeline where he finally realizes women are not just trophies to acquire or objects to ogle or things to serve him. A timeline where he finally learns that women are real human people who can be smart and funny and wonderful. A timeline where having a good, decent person in his life who is not a paid sycophants or a family member benefiting from his constant nepotism actually makes a difference. A timeline where then for the next 18 years instead of brooding about how to obtain more wealth and how to show off his power and how to vanquish his enemies, he just lives a quiet, happy life. A timeline where he stops feeling inadequate. A timeline where he stops worrying if his father ever loved him. Hell, a timeline where he even stops hating black and brown and foreign people. A timeline where he votes for Barack Obama – twice. Imagine, imagine if those butterfly wings had fluttered slightly faster how different our universe’s timeline could be.

Just kidding. I wouldn’t wish Donald Trump on anyone, let alone anyone as lovely as Emma Thompson.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Wifeys for Lifeys

Well this is perhaps the most joyful start to any week since Jan. 20. Actress Samira Wiley and writer Lauren Morelli got married over the weekend. The couple who have been the real-life resident lovebirds of “Orange Is the New Black” since 2014 announced their engagement last October. And now they’ve tied the knot in lovely white outfits by Christian Siriano with an official write-up in Martha Stewart Weddings and everything. And there was apparently confetti. Come on, how fun and lovely and glorious is that? Mazel tov to the happy couple. May they have a long and wonderful life together filled with all the confetti life can throw at them.

Friday, March 24, 2017

My Weekend Crush

IDGAF Frances McDormand is my favorite Frances McDormand of all. And in the new trailer for “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri,” No Fucks To Give Frances is her finest form. Now that’s a way to kick start a weekend. Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

C'est Mirrenifique

Look, this is also an ad. But, like the one that started out our week, this one is at least an ad worth watching. Why? A couple reasons. First, there has been far too little Helen Mirren on these pages recently. And you all know how much a love a great dame. And second, Helen Mirren is speaking French. And you all know how much I love to see a great dame speaking French. So here you go. Deux grandes choses qui vont bien ensemble.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017


Just a reminder that Anne Hathaway is ridiculously talented. Sure, she gets flack for having the audacity to both a) try bard hard and b) be a woman. But, and I repeat, she is ridiculously talented. First, she can lip sync better than any other celebrity in the world. And now (yes, I know this video is old, but its new to me) she can rap better than any one who was the star of something called “The Princess Diaries” should ever be able to rap. Yeah, bring your Anne Hathaway hate. Because she can take it, and bring it. Oh, can she bring it.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

A Demon That Your Parents Knoooooow

After a full day of adulating yesterday (kittens, I bought a lawnmower and everything), I feel the need to return to some joyful abandon. And there’s no joyful abandon better than deeply weird joyful abandon. So please enjoy this reprise of “Outside Bones” by your friend and mine, Mr. Titus Andromedon. FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT!

p.s. This still technically counts as lesbian content because of Judy Gold’s priceless reaction.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Hold On Now

Damn, Down Under. You just made me straight-up cry. In my ongoing effort to start each week with a little joy, here is a little love from our friends in New Zealand and Australia. Yeah, I know it’s an ad from a bank. But when it has an emotional hold like this, who can resist? Happy Monday, kittens.

Friday, March 17, 2017

My Weekend Parody

Since this is my trailer week, how about a trailer for a fake movie I would really watch? I don’t know how this escaped me the first time around. But now that another one of these in in the theaters, why not? As fun as it is to poke fun at lesbian stereotypes, the deleted scene is actually my favorite. Though, come on gay ladies - who flushes a tampon? Happy weekend, all.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Gods of Carnage

So this is my week to post trailers, apparently. Next up, the new trailer for “American Gods.” The new series from Bryan Fuller (Mr. “Pushing Daisies,” “Hannibal,” “Wonderfalls”) looks…well, it certainly looks. It actually might blend the two sides of Fuller perfects – the fantastical and the carnagetastical. I won’t pretend to super understand the premise (nor have I read the Neil Gaiman on which it is based). But, looks like we’ve got a ton of old gods fighting a ton of new gods resulting in bloods – so much blood. The first two trailers are very, very (very, very, very) dude heavy. But the good news is we get our first glimpse of Kristin Chenoweth as Easter. Cheno in this bloods and battle show? I know, it’s crazypants. But the person they probably purposely left out, and why I’m extra intrigued, is Gillian Anderson stars as Media. We have only seen a couple teaser shots of her so far as Media (dressed as Marilyn Monroe, no less, because her character takes the form of celebrities apparently). So what do you think? Cheno and Gillian together sealing the whole bloody deal? We shall see.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Wonder Where

Well, add another thing to the annals of “Men Ruin Everything.” Here we have a perfectly good movie about Amazon life in Themyscira, and then, boom, a dude drops in and everything goes to hell. Fine, so maybe he doesn’t ruin everything. Like, I’m still pretty excited to see this movie and rejoice in all the Amazonian badassery. Robin Wright! Connie Nielsen! Lucy Davis not an Amazon, but very funny)! I’m not 100 percent sure what accent they’re all affecting. (Like, are they trying to copy Gal Gadot’s natural accent?) Also, no sign of the signature spin.
But, yeah, I’m still totally into it.