Gender Fuck Thursday: A Whole New Year

Welcome to 2026, here are some hot women in hot menswear because we still deserve nice things. Honestly, they should just let us have it. It looks better on us anyway. Menswear only for women in 2026. As for the men themselves, well, let’s hope a lot more of them put in the work this year. Otherwise we’ll just have to take away the rest of their things, too. Until we can figure out what’s going on. You know, like their roles as Fortune 500 CEOs and congressmen and the President of the United States of America. Just as a start. Dream big, it’s a whole new year.

Lucy Liu & Drew Barrymore

Still Charlie’s Menswear-Wearing Angels after all these years.

Demi Moore

Now if she was the solo star and they called it “Landwoman,” maybe I’d watch.

Hayley Kiyoko

Schoolboy shorts always look better on girls, always.

Jessica Chastain

Has a man ever looked this good in a suit this color? I rest my case.

Leisha Hailey & Kate Moennig

Thank goodness they never had Alice and Shane hookup on the show. I mean, Jenny was mean enough.

Renee Rapp

Is there a premium Uber Black service where you get hot lesbians as your chauffeur? Because in that case, you win capitalism, sign me up.

Michelle Yeoh

Start with a hot Asian lady in a beige suit, end with a hot Asian lady in a beige suit. Now that’s what I call some blog post feng shui.

Everything Oscars All At Once

I’ll admit, somewhere toward the middle of the more than three-and-a-half affair when the German War Movie was picking up technical award after technical award, I started to worry. But Everything Everywhere was All At Once Oscars. Asian Excellence for the win! And the show went off without a single case of on-stage millionaire-on-millionaire violence. So, uh, progress?

While I thought the telecast was overall a tad dull and none of the bits landed with much more than a sensible chuckle (well, other than when Hugh Grant — who had previously given one of the most intentionally caddish red carpet interviews I’ve ever seen— rightfully compared his face to a scrotum), I was generally pretty pleased with the winners. Michelle Yeoh! Ke Huy Quan! The Daniels! Yes, I was rooting for Angela Bassett to do the thing (or perhaps for Stephanie Hsu to pull off the dark bagel upset). Yes, I’m happy for Brendan Fraser even though “The Whale” ain’t it. And what did I tell you about Sarah Polley? (She also happened to be one of the only notable female stars at the Oscars in a tuxedo, so a grateful Lesbian Nation thanks her for her service.)

Other than that, the blah beige “champagne” carpet set the style tone. Given that I watch this show every year in sweatpants and a hoodie, I really don’t have anything substantive to say other than these folks sure are nice to look at. So here are the rest of my extremely queer observations from Hollywood’s biggest night. The Good, the Gay and the SGALGG from this year’s Academy Awards.

Angela Bassett & Michelle Yeoh

This is the moment that made the AP go Horny on Main.

And, honestly, can you blame them? Because *low whistle*

Cate Blanchett

Cate recycling her luxury hotel curtains to make an elegant drapey top for the Oscars feels like the ultimate admission that she was rooting for Michelle this whole time too.

Stephanie Hsu & Everyone Everywhere All At Once

getting hit on by Florence Pugh

getting armtime with Angela

making the edibles kick in with David Byrne

and finally getting a (loving) talking to from Mother Evelyn

Florence Pugh & Her Bed Sheets

I like Flo a lot. And I too would prefer to show up at formal events in my fitted sheet and shorts with pockets.

You also have to give her bonus points for changing into her duvet for the after party. Extra double bonus points for hitting on Daughter/Stephanie and Mother/Michelle in the same night, too.

Sarah Polley

Honestly, I would wear exactly the same thing if I ever went to the Oscars. So the Relatability Queen wins again.

Jessica Chastain

The only celebrity to wear a mask all evening.

Also, she got to hold hands with Halle Berry and hug Michelle Yeoh so who is the real winner here?

The Female Torso

If the blah carpet’s signature color was bridal white, the Vanity Fair afterparty’s theme was Gray’s Anatomy. Cause you got an anatomy lesson from all the exposed rib cages, upper abs, lower abs and bra-like offerings on display at the after parties.

And now, onto the GGALGG:

Ariane DeBose & someone’s upset husband

Janelle Monae & someone who isn’t Tessa Thompson

Tessa Thompson & Flo & the Duvet Cover

Cara Delevingne & Jamie Lee Curtis

Rebel Wilson & fiancée Ramona Agruma

Sarah Paulson & Queen Latifah

Don’t worry, Dana actually brought Eboni Nichols as her date.

Olivia Wilde, Sarah, Tracee Ellis Ross, Holland Taylor, The Queen

I don’t even know how to describe this other than some kind of Lesbian Moonie Wedding Ceremony.

Sharon Stone, Sarah, Holland, Sienna Miller & Patricia Clarkson

And then this is, obviously, the reception where they’re recruiting for more Queer Sister Wives, duh.

Still, I think the best moment from the whole night was Halle Berry, the first woman of color to ever win a Best Actress Oscar, handing the first Asian woman and second woman of color ever to win her Oscar. That and Michelle, Halle and Jessica walking off like this. Women. I sure do like us.

All in the Numbers, Ladies

Some people say casting a bunch of talented, intelligent, beautiful women and putting them in traditionally male movie roles is just tokenism. But I say, how about you give us a larger sample size before we cast judgment. And, in turn, a larger sample size will eliminate all talk of tokenism. Because, ladies, we all know that us women know how to lie, steal, fight, shoot, kill just like the fellas when the occasion arises. I’m not entirely sure what’s up with the numeric names of these kinds of movies in questions (“Ocean’s 8” and now “The 355”). But, you give me Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyong'o, Penélope Cruz, Diane Kruger and Fan Bingbin all in one movie and I’ll say, let the research begin.

Gender Fuck Thursday

You look like you need some ladies in nicely tailored suits. So here are some ladies in nicely tailored suits. You are welcome.

Cate Blanchett

Should we pass a law that Cate can only walk around in her clothes from “Carol” or a tuxedo? Yeah, I think we should.

Letitia Wright

I want the little sister in “Black Panther” to have her own movie, accompanied – of course – by the all-women Wakandan army.

Lena Headey

In another life, Cersei runs away to pursue her love of genealogy at university and starts wearing nice tweeds and turtlenecks.

Rihanna

I can.not.wait. to see her as one of the eight in “Ocean’s Eight.”

Dame Maggie Smith

I suddenly want to find out everything I can about, what appears to be, Prof. McGonagall’s past as a well-dressed graduate student at an all-women’s magicians college.

Jessica Chastain

I need to make an amendment that adds Jessica in the above “Must Wear a Tux” law.

This Even Matters

Kittens, we did it. We made it through one entire year of the Trump administration. Sure, we’re all exhausted and demoralized and enraged and frightened and have I mentioned exhausted already? But, yes, we made it through one single year. Still, this weekend on the anniversary of the Hate Pumpkin’s inauguration, two amazing things happened. One, millions of women and men and descent human beings marched in protest of everything our Shithole President stands for. And two, that moron had to miss his own anniversary party because he is so inept as a president he couldn’t keep the government open despite his party, the GOP, controlling the House, Senate and the White House. Way to go, Very Stable Genius. Anyway, only 287 days until the midterm elections. Then we finally get to grab ‘em by the ballot box.

I Can't Believe We Still Have To Say This Shit

Say that, @jes_chastain. pic.twitter.com/H7QHnEE5JA

— Ava DuVernay (@ava) May 29, 2017

We want our movies to be larger than life. That’s the whole point of projecting them two-stories tall. But we don’t want our movies to be completely divorced from reality. Yes, we want heroes and monsters and aliens, oh my. But the same moviemakers who create whole other worlds and species too often have a failure of imagination when it comes to equal representation. Like, sure, semi trucks that turn into alien overlords are fine, but hold up you want there to be realistic women, too? Let’s not go crazy now. This is a long way around of saying what Jessica Chastain said as a jury member at Cannes was both great and exhausting. Do we really have to keep saying this out loud? When will it finally get through? While television has made significant gains when it comes to female representation (though, like almost everything else, it still has a way to go – especially behind the scenes) film lags stubbornly behind. Male-led franchises fill out cineplexes. Male-led prestige pieces vie for top awards. Women-led projects get called chick flicks. And so on, and so forth. It’s all, well, exhausting.

Anyway, tell them, Jessica (and Will Smith who chimes in on the extended clip about getting POC in there too). And on a related not, I don’t know about you guys, but I have my “Wonder Woman” tickets already.

p.s. It goes without saying that all this applies to LGBTQ representation as well. Always more, always better.

The Cold Never Bothered Them Anyway

I was not terribly impressed with 2012’s “Snow White and the Huntsman.” Sure, it was a gorgeous thing to look at. But its core was a mess with problematic messaging about the motivation for its central villain and blandly passive heroine. Also, can’t Snow White be the hero of her own story without a Huntsman to rescue her? (Yes, yes, I know original source material blah blah blah.) Still, I can’t help but be a little more excited for its sequel (and, I think, prequel), “The Huntsman: Winter’s War.” Granted, now the central character is full-on said Huntsman. But, goodness, how they’ve upped their awesome ladies quotient. Charlize Theron and Emily Blunt and Jessica Chastain, oh my!

The movie, once again, looks like a visual smorgasbord. And if the trailer is to be believed, we finally have an action movie where the ladies, instead of the dudes, drive the narrative. Plus, I’m just a sucker for anything that had women kicking ass. And you really can’t resist Charlize vamping it up with regal wickedness once more.

Granted, it does look a tad like, “Frozen: Elsa’s Revenge.” The cold never bothered them, anyway. But, you know what, I’ll let it go for the sake of the potential badassery.

My only other complaint: The snow-white cast. Just like it’s seemingly impossible for The Hollywood Reporter to think of a single actress of color to invite to its award-season roundtable, here is yet another Hollywood film with little to no (I think I saw a few black soldiers in there, maybe) diversity. I find it particularly galling in a fantasy film like this where the entire universe it inhabits is divorced from the restraints of reality. That’s not to say more realistic films get a free pass, but fantasies like this are only accountable to one’s imagination. So then to still cast a predominantly all-white is just a failure of creativity. Get it together, Hollywood. The world has always existed in beautiful Technicolor. Now if only your movies did, too.

SGALGG: Oscars Edition

And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming. So the Oscars were on Sunday. If you want a comprehensive recap of the big show (Cliffs Notes version: boobs song, sexist joke, Jaws theme, J-Falls perfectly) check it out over at AfterEllen. If you want to see a bunch of Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals together, well, you know where to go. No, wait, don’t go anywhere. Stay here, because that’s where they are. No, I mean it. Just scroll down.

Jennifer Lawrence & Anne Hathaway

Don’t they look like the toppers on a gay lady same-sex wedding cake? Replace those shiny naked golden men with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and it’s pretty much ready for the “I Dos.”

Catherine Zeta-Jones & Jennifer Hudson

I am telling you, I’m not going…down on you in front of all of these people. Wait until later, darling.

Amanda Seyfried & Jessica Chastain

Zero Dark Eyes Up, Chastain. Eyes up.

Norah Jones & Adele

Think of the beautiful music they could make together. Figuratively and literally.

Reese Witherspoon, Naomi Watts & Isla Fisher

Naomi is the shiny meat in this beautiful cobalt blue sandwich.

Sally Field & Amy Poehler

Kiss! Make it a threesome with Tina Fey! Or with Aubrey Plaza since she’s leering at you two together in the background already.

Halle Berry & Paula Patton

No, you’re prettier. No, you’re prettier. No, you’re prettier. No, you’re… Sorry, I’m imagining their conversation.

Anne Hathaway & Sarah Silverman

Unlike Zeta-Jones and JHud, they’re not waiting to be alone to make the magic happen.

Miley Cyrus & Kelly Osbourne

This is becoming a regular thing for these two. Same time, same place next year I can only assume.

Jennifer Aniston & Charlize Theron

The blurriness of this picture was obviously caused by Jen lunging toward Charlize because no one has the kind of restraint to hold herself back when presented with that much stunning.

Charlize’s Hair

I’ve never asked a haircut to call me before. But in this case, gurl, call me.