Watch a Kajillion Times

On this, the penultimate day of Pride Month, I’m here to recommend an undiscovered gem of a movie. I posted about the trailer last August, when I wondered if it contained anything even remotely queer. Well, kittens, the answer is yes. The movie from offbeat filmmaker Miranda July (if you ever saw “You Me and Everyone We know,” you’ll know exactly what I mean by offbeat) is as offbeat as you would suspect. It stars Evan Rachel Wood (doing her best Elizabeth Holmes voice), Gina Rodriguez (who, goodness, can she fill out a simple T-shirt pair of jeans) and a nearly unrecognizable Debra Winger (I really did pause the trailer to make sure that was here). It’s hard to explain what this movie (essentially about a family of low-level grifters and the stranger who enters their lives) is truly about other than to say it’s about family dysfunction and finally finding the tenderness you need. Go into it without expectations and just enjoy its unhurried unfurling. It’s streaming right now on HBO Max. Did I mention Evan & Gina have great chemistry? Because, yeah, they do.

If you’ve watched the movie, watch the clip below. If you have not watched the movie, DO NOT WATCH THE CLIP BELOW. It’s basically the entire end of the movie. But goodness, did I rewatch the heck out of it after finishing the movie. Hello.

Kajillionaire in the Making

If you’ve seen any of Miranda July’s work you’ll know that is very specifically odd, but also strangely beautiful in a haunting way that sticks with you long after the credits roll. I mean, I still sometimes think about “You Me and Everyone We Know.” Something about the stilted normality of her aesthetic is so weirdly captivating. She’s like the ultimate normcore ambassador. Her newest, “Kajillionaire,” looks just as weird and just as dorkily engaging. I mean it doesn’t hurt that it has Evan Rachel Wood, Gina Rodriguez and an almost unrecognizable Debra Winger (like, I seriously had to watch it again and pause it on her face to confirm, yep, Debra Winger). I particularly like the exaggerated deep voice Evan uses in the role, just another oddball delight amid what appears to be a meditation on bad parenting and finding one’s self at last. I have no idea if anything even remotely queer will happen in the film, but I love seeing women discovering their agency. Plus, anything where people dance out their feelings is a good thing in today’s world. Now, unlike the coronavirus delayed Wonder Woman, the release date is an optimistic September in theaters. But, yeah, we shall see about that. So, otherwise, thoughts?

Somemovie Like You

Well now, isn’t that fun. Like, really, really fun. Like more fun than a rom-com has looked in a long while. See what a difference a slightly different perspective and some underrepresented voices make. Plus, queer women of color, Gina Rodriguez and secret “Pitch Perfect” lesbian Brittany Snow. Yeah, like I was saying, fun.

SGALGG: Emmys Edition

Go Emmys, it’s your SGALGG Day. Go Emmys, it’s your SGALGG Day. Look, sometimes I run out of smart things to say. But, luckily, not out of things to show you. So here, without further ado-ing, your 2018 Emmy Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals.

Rachel Brosnahan Claire Foy, Tiffany Haddish & Angela Bassett

Is it just me, or does this look like Tiffany and Angela are inviting Rachel* to the most amazing threesome ever?

*Damn, Rachel and Claire were both working that short, slicked back brunette thing so from the side I sleepily mistook them. So they should probably make it a foursome is all I am saying.

Sandra Oh & Jessica Biel

Look out, Justin. Sandra is clearly explaining to Jessica the benefits of falling in obsessive love with a beautiful psychopathic assassin.

Amanda Crew & Suzanne Cryer

This feels like what Sporty Spice would wear to the Emmys if she came out and started dating Posh.

Angela Sarafyan & Stefani Robinson

Because I don’t know why Angela from “Westworld” and Stefani with “Atlanta” are posing together I’ll just assume it is because they are dating. Please don’t tell me otherwise.

Nina Kiri & Madeline Brewer

When you see your girlfriend on the red carpet looking super hot and neither of you are in Gilead.

Millie Bobbie Brown & Emilia Clarke

Fine, so Eleven and Daenerys aren’t doing anything particularly gay together. But both their characters project Big Dyke Energy, so there’s that.

Alex Borstein & Her Emmy

I mean, performing cunnilingus in public on your Emmy is also a pretty B.D.E. move.

Laurie Metcalf & Alex Borstein

Though, I guess Laurie Metcalf checking out your rack in front of everyone has a confidence boosting effect.

Chrissy Teigen & Gina Rodriguez

The moment you realize how great it feels to press your whole lady body against another whole lady body.

And now time for a brand new segment called “Straight Girls Acting Like Gay Gals With Sarah Paulson” or SGALGGWSP.

Sarah & Connie Britton

Connie to Sarah: “Look, we’d be great together in ‘American Horny Story’ is all I’m saying.”

Sarah & Claire Foy

Claire to Sarah: “Look, you’re the Supreme. I’m the Queen. We could really make this work.”

Sarah & Felicity Huffman

Felicity to Sarah: “Look, I’m not saying I’d do anything for you. But I was on a show with ‘Desperate’ in the title.”

Sarah & Jessica Biel

Jessica to Sarah: “Look, I’m really the one in the family who knows how to rock a body – if you know what I mean.”

Sarah & Holland

Holland to Sarah: “Look at those poor dears, like they ever had a chance.”

My Big Gay Emmys

I don’t know much. But I know this. The Emmys should have stopped the show mid-stream and made Hannah Gadsby the host. Or Kate McKinnon. Or Tiffany Haddish. Or basically any woman who was not the dudebro Weekend Update dudes. But at least the awards ended on time, which is something. And despite the lackluster dude hosts, there were still some genuinely good moments. Heck, even straight people had a nice moment with that Emmy proposal.

So here are the queerest Emmy moments and Emmy attendees most pertinent to your gay lady interests.

Kate McKinnon was tragically underused in that whole “We Solved it” song. But at least she looked great with her stand-in date Betty White.



Hannah Gadsby should have hosted. Hannah Gadsby should have hosted. Hannah Gadsby should have hosted. Hannah Gadsby should have hosted. Hannah Gadsby should have hosted. Did I mention Hannah Gadsby should have hosted?



Samira Wiley is sunshine in a sparkly dress.



Evan Rachel Wood’s commitment to suit-based fashion on the red carpet is extremely commendable.



Props to Lily Tomlin for getting in a little Gina Rodriguez snuggle.



Carrie Brownstein doing queer women proud by coming in a dress with pockets.



My greatest hope – besides flipping the House and Senate and impeaching Trump/Pence – is that Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer make Abbi and Ilana endgame on “Broad City.”



Tatiana Maslany sees Carrie’s dress with pockets and raises everyone a sensible pants and top paying homage to lesbian favorite “The Gynmast.”



Tiffany Haddish’s big top dress is almost the best Pride outfit ever.



Please, you thought I would post about the Emmys and not include a photo of My Fake TV/Movie Wife Tina Fey?



Sandra Oh, who was viciously robbed of the best actress in a drama Emmy, brought her parents as her dates and her mother wore a traditional Korean hanbok dress which *heart eyes emojis forever*.



Some gratuitous Regina King arm porn for your viewing enjoyment.



Also for your viewing enjoyment, Angela Bassett. It should be noted that Angela turned 60 last month which HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?



All hail the Queen and Queen of Lesbian Couples. Long may they reign.



p.s. Don’t worry, kittens. SGALGG is coming tomorrow. Oh yeah, it’s coming.

Brooklyn Hi-Hi

I’ve decided to give “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” a try. Now that it has been rescued by NBC, I think it just might be worth enduring Andy Samberg to see Stephanie Beatriz and Gina Rodriguez flirt with one another. But then, almost anything is worth watching to see Stephanie Beatriz and Gina Rodriguez flirt with one another. More of this on NBC, show. More of this. And, you know, more big, badass and bi Det. Rosa Diaz in general, please.

Girlfriend Wish Fulfillment

Kittens, here is some good news. If seemingly casual and since deleted Instagram posts are to be believed, fans are in for some major wish fulfillment as Gina Rodriguez of “Jane the Virgin” appears poised to guest as Stephanie Beatriz’s girlfriend on “Brooklyn Nine-Nine.” The friends have been lobbying for this to happen since Stephanie’s character, Det. Rosa Diaz, came out as bisexual and in a relationship with a women last December. Stephanie, who came out as bisexual in real life last year as well, has campaigned for Gina or Kate McKinnon to play her girlfriend. Gina has even applied her lip gloss and puckered her lips in anticipation of the role. And now, thanks to this hastily taken down photo by “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” castmate Terry Crews it looks like this is happening. EW also confirmed that Gina will guest next season, so way to go fandom – you made this happen.

p.s. Until this glorious coupling comes to the screen, I will be imagining Gina and Tessa Thompson as girlfriends in “Annihilation.”

Annihilate the Patriarchy

You ever seen a photo and think, “Yeah, this gets me.” Well, that’s how I feel looking at this promo still from the new film “Annihilation.” This still is kind of everything I’m looking for from a movie right now. A tough, smart gang of diverse women who are heavily armed on a world-saving mission while some sport alternative lifestyle haircuts. Like I was saying, this gets me.



p.s. As further proof this movie is possibly perfect, Oscar Isaac’s character is legit only described as “Lena’s husband” in the credits. Lena is Natalie Portman’s biologist character. Identifying men only by their association with powerful women? Burn, patriarchy, burn.

Make It So

Kittens, why hasn’t the movie where Gina Rodriguez and Tessa Thompson play girlfriends been made yet? I leave for a while, a genius idea gets pitched, I expect to return to results. And, look, they’re both on board. Get moving, Hollywood. Look, I realize removing and/or pretending to remove the sexual predators from your ranks is time consuming. But this is a priority. Can’t we have this ONE NICE THING?

p.s. Speaking of one nice things, Gina’s undercut for the film “Annihilation” is *indecipherable low moaning sound*



p.p.s. “Annihilation” better not be a film where all the strong brown and black characters get eaten/destroyed/whatevered by the formless alien rainbow shiny thingie or imma be mad.



p.p.p.s. But, to reiterate, not about Gina’s undercut. It get it always.

My Weekend Crush

A beautiful cover story featuring Gina Rodriguez for Latina magazine is wonderful enough. But then it’s a beautiful cover story featuring Gina Rodriguez for Latina magazine featuring her new, super hot undercut. And then you find out it’s a beautiful cover story featuring Gina Rodriguez for Latina magazine featuring her new, super hot undercut and talking about her role as a lesbian character in a new sci-fi film. Holy Christmas morning, Batgirl!



While I am still shamefully behind on “Jane the Virgin,” I am unfailingly loyal fan of Gina’s. And her Latina feature only reinforced my fangirl feelings for her. Also, did you see the part where I said Gina Rodriguez is playing a lesbian character in a movie? It’s for the upcoming sci-fi film “Annihilation” which will also star Natalie Portman, Oscar Isaac and Jennifer Jason Leigh. Gina said this about the film to Latina:

“It’s about five women who are going into the Shimmer, an entity that’s starting to destroy the world. So we’re trying to stop it. We have guns, we’re doing some badass stunts and it’s a brilliant storyline. I play Anya Thorensen, a paramedic from Chicago who happens to be a lesbian and an ex-addict going into the Shimmer to be the hero that she’s kinda always wanted to be.”

Also, also – she shaved her head for the role.



Yep, sometimes life is just an embarrassment of lesbian riches. Not often, but sometimes. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Here is her behind-the-scenes video from the shoot. See the undercut in motion.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Does the real fear of our country falling under the neo-fascist rule of a racist, sexist short-fingered vulgarian got you down? Then how about some beautiful women of color in black-and-white to cheer you up? Oh, also they’re in various forms of so-called menswear. Why? Because irony is damn beautiful. You’re welcome, America. Now get the hell out there and vote. Oh, and Ted Cruz is just as bad. Shudder.

Viola Davis

Still catching up on HTGAWM Season 2. Question: Does it get gayer?

Gina Rodriguez

She is so damn delightful and I feel so damn guilty for being so damn behind on “Jane the Virgin.”

Janelle Monae

Every time I see Janelle in a suit my heart grows three sizes.

Archie Panjabi

I’m so excited Archie is finally getting her own series.

Angela Bassett

I don’t know why Angela keeps showing up in “American Horror Story,” since she is always so terribly underused. But bless her for continuing to do her very damn best with what she is given.

Lucy Liu

“Elementary” continues to be wonderful. That is all.

Zendaya

I think I am too old to fully understand who Zendaya is.

Janet Jackson

We should all follow Janet’s lead and sip copious amounts of tea throughout this entire insane election cycle.

SGALGG: Golden Globes Edition

Don’t Krysten Ritter and Rachael Taylor look like they’re on a date night here? And date nights don’t get much more glamorous than the Golden Globes. The show itself was kinda meh. LGBT shows/films were largely shut out. Luckily we can always count on Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals to liven things up. Like our gals, Trishica Jones (new recap up at AfterEllen today, by the way). Thanks ladies, you sure helped save the night.

Gina Rodriguez & Sophia Bush

Gina is not America. America is not Salma. Neither are Charo. Now let’s all hug.

Angela Bassett & Taraji P. Henson

Hands, Angela, hands.

Eva Longoria & Katy Perry

She bit a girl’s head, and she liked it.

Joanne Froggatt & Natalie Dormer

Game of Abbeys. Downton Thrones. I could go on but I’ll stop before you start throwing dragon eggs at me.

Laverne Cox & Taylor Schilling

Not even gonna lie, I would ship Sophia and Piper. But, really, we all know Sophia could do better.

Niecy Nash, Regina King & Viola Davis

So much awesome packed into one photo I just want to sit back and admire the view.

Amy Schumer, Kim Caramele & Brie Larson

I actually don’t think anything all that lesbian is happening here, unless you count the obvious sex invites implied by their open mouths. Kidding, sort of.

America Ferrera, Amy Schumer, Eva Longoria & JLaw

Ditto from above, but this time the tongues are the obvious sex invites. Kidding, again, mostly.

Rooney Mara & Cate Blanchett

Yep, even on the red carpet. Even with Rooney’s back turned. Chemistry.

Judith Light, Jill Soloway & Emily Robinson

This show’s glorious queerness, pretty much summed up in one photo.

The cast of “Transparent”

OK, make that two photos.

BONUS: Morgan Freeman & Helen Mirren

Granted, this isn’t two ladies so it doesn’t actually count as a SGALGG photo. But Morgan’s necklace is lesbian enough for the both of them.