Honey, Yes!

Margaret Qualley and Aubrey Plaza will be lesbianing together in a new movie coming out this August from the makers of “Drive-Away Dolls.” I know, it’s pretty exciting and honestly we as queer ladies needed this win. Shit has been bleak. But now the universe rewards us with Margaret and Aubrey (hopefully) smooching a lot. The film, “Honey Don’t!,” will be the second in a planned lesbian pulp trilogy from married (but in an unconventional – read they both have their own girlfriends – way) filmmaking partners Tricia Cooke and Ethan Coen. The first was, of course, the aforementioned “Dolls.”

Now, granted, I liked but did not lovelovelove “Drive-Away Dolls.” It just didn’t gel, for me. I think Margaret Qualley is great (she was so excellent in “The Substance”) and I think Geraldine Viswanathan is great (like so funny in “Blockers”). Alas, they had zero chemistry and their reads on the characters came across too stiff instead of madcapped. A movie about a stolen suitcase full of dildos needs to be madcapped to work. Still, definitely A for effort. I hold high hopes for the trio’s second attempt at lesbian hijinx, because if Aubrey Plaza can have chemistry with Chris Pratt, Aubrey Plaza can have chemistry with anyone. And a woman? No problem. (Also, on a considerably less horny note, I truly hope Aubrey is doing OK after the death of her husband earlier this year.)

Anyway, back to the movie. Margaret will play Honey, a gay private detective investigating deaths at a questionable church led by Chris Evans in Bakersfield, CA. So far Aubrey’s character has only been described as “a mystery woman.” Is it Death? Does she play Death again? Don’t get typecast, girl! Cooke told Autostraddle last year that “Honey Don’t!” was inspired by two 70’s movies I’ve never seen, Robert Altman’s neo-noir satire “The Long Goodbye” and John Huston’s sports film “Fat City,” and the Wanda Jackson version of the song by the same name. Oh, and she also said the movie will have “more sex” than “Dolls.” OK, stop twisting my arm, I already said I would watch!

Baddiechella

I almost never experience music festival FOMO. Well, last year I seriously contemplated going to Outside Lands to see Chappell Roan. But, ultimately, I declined. Who needs to stand all day in the sun/heat/rain/humanity to watch someone the size of a pistachio bounce around onstage? I’m too short for that sort of nonsense anyway. Still, I will admit to a tinge of FOMO seeing these images from bisexual baddies Victor Monet and Megan Thee at Coachella earlier this month.

And in motion? Lord. Have. Mercy. Though, luckily, I can still enjoy it all from my couch. Like I was saying, what FOMO.

@anagetsdown tHEIR DAAAAANCE IM — #meganthesestallion #victoriamonet #megantheestallioncoachella #coachella #coachellaweekend1 ♬ original sound - ana

p.s. With all the excitement, bet you didn’t notice they’re both essentially wearing tank tops. On theme, always.

Music Monday: More Beach Time

Hey, remember The Beaches? The all-girl, half-queer band from Canada who sing about kissing girls and all that good stuff? Well they played Coachella this year and had Very Special Lesbian Guest G Flip come out on stage with them. Seems like everyone had a gay old time, wouldn’t you say. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

My Fake TV/Movie/Media Mogul Wife is on the cover of another magazine? Of course imma crow about it. Sometimes it’s hard to believe it’s been a dozen years since “30 Rock” ended. But then I remember, I mean fuck Obama was president then. It WAS forever ago. I am happy that, despite her desire to promote and encourage younger and new writers, Tina is still out there trying to make us laugh in a pretty smart way. Some stupid ways, too. But then pratfalls are classic for a reason. While I can’t say I remember the original “Four Seasons,” I am intrigued by the new cast and appreciate the opportunity to have funny, creative people make comedy for adults. We can still be funny in middle age, or so I’ve heard. Guess we’ll find out. Happy weekend, all.

Also, doesn’t Tina look amazing in these photos? Hey! Be respectful, that’s My Fake TV/Movie/Media Mogul Wife you’re looking at there.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Adventures in Dandy Land

I typically don’t pay too much attention to the Met Gala because the Let Them Eat Cake of it all is strong with that one. Also, people pretty much always ignore the actual theme. Like what the hell does dressing like Oliver Twist after he won the lotto have to do with the Garden of Time, Barry? But this year, this year I very much hope every wannabe Kardashian takes note of the GQ photoshoot based on this year’s theme, “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style.” Truly, every image in this “Dandy Land” collection by acclaimed stylist Law Roach is a jaw dropper. If everyone shows up like this, well, I will have enough Gender Fuck Thursday content for the next year…if not decade. So all I have to say is, please assembled famous and rich people of the universe – try to be a little less Marie Antoinette and a lot more like actors-singers-hot ass suit wearers Janelle Monáe, Teyana Taylor and Ryan Destiny. You have your orders, now follow them. Otherwise, we might have to do something crazy like tax you.

p.s. I won’t demand you also have Teyana’s abs. But, um, it’d help.

A Shave & a Gaycut

Who remembers 1993? Honestly, when you think about it, it’s still a little shocking some 30+ years later that k.d. lang and Cindy Crawford – arguably the most famous supermodel of her era – were on the cover of Vanity Fair like this. Because, truly, this is so gay. So. Gay. Yes, yes, I know this was part of that momentary “lesbian chic” moment we had there in the 90s. But this image is still so strikingly queer that 32 years later Lucy Dacus and Katie Gavin can recreate it for Alternative Press and it still feels fresh and hot and, yes, SO GAY. Lesian chic this, queer ladies of all generations. Happy Hump Day, kittens.

Happily, and Gayly, Ever After

And just like that, Kristen Stewart and Dylan Meyer are married. After more than half a dozen years together, and nearly four years of en-gay-gement, they made it official. I feel like I need to set off a Hunger Games cannon for K-Stew’s singledom. Of course, given the circumstances, it should be a rainbow glitter confetti cannon. But still, *BOOM* There goes the last glimmers of delusional hope for some gay gals. There, there – you truly never had even an iota of a shot, but it’s great to dream big, right?

I actually super love it when queer couples get married because we’ve only been able to do so legally for the last 10 years (well, in June it will be 10 years – if we make it to June…) Each queer couple that vows to love each other until death do they part is a repudiation of the hateful mindset that calls our very existence a sin. Or, in simpler terms, fuck you bigots.

I wish them a long and happy and creative life together. Also getting married at a Mexican restaurant in Silver Lake? Yeah, we’re never gonna be as cool as K-Stew, even now that she’s just an old married lady. Mazel to the couple.

Music Monday: Very Cunning

You know sometimes when I research for a post I stumble into a rabbit hole. So while looking into “On Swift Horses,” I discovered nonbinary queer artist Kat Cunning. And when I discovered nonbinary queer artist Kat Cunning, I discovered she has a sexy single that most definitely uses “girl” pronouns about the love interest and also involves dancing sexily in a tank top/vest/bikini thingie. Look, sometimes it doesn’t take that much to get me down a rabbit hole. Did you know she also appeared in the Cirque de Soleil Broadway show. Bendy, is all I’m saying. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Now that “Hacks” is back, here’s a quick reminder that Hannah Einbinder should be rapidly becoming your favorite outspoken queer celebrity. Not just because she is openly queer and extremely talented and very funny and, yes, hot. But because she speaks out on what she believes. Speaks passionately, speaks clearly. Does not suffer bullshit. Uses her privilege and her platform for more than just glorifying herself. Wears lots of oversized suits. Look, you find your moral clarity where you find it. I sometimes find it in a nice suit.

If you haven’t watched Hannah’s speech accepting the HRC Visibility Award for 2025 last month, whew. That is what we call a barn burner. A gay, progressive, righteous barn burner.

And, lest you think this is a one-off, I’m pleased to confirm that Hannah is as righteous, riotous and resolute in more casual settings. Like on Stephen Colbert this month discussing loud gay sex while making sure us girlies “focus up” on what matters.

Is it fair to for one person to be wildly charismatic, morally unwavering and funny as fuck? Laraine Newman raised a good one, it seems. Happy weekend, all.

To Lesbian Infinity and Beyond

Guys, sometimes you just have to watch a movie because they put “Lesbian” in the title. And while it can be a hit-or-miss enterprise – for instance, “Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same” was weirdly great, “Lesbian Vampire Killers” not so much – I have a good feeling about “Lesbian Space Princess.” Weird, but good. Has an “Adventure Time” meets “Harley Quinn” meets, well, “Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same” vibe which frankly I am here for. I mean, the “Blue Is the Warmest Color” joke alone earns this a watch. So, hold onto your space panties and let’s hope this film (which is making the festival circuit) gets picked up somewhere.

The Gay Horses They Rode In On

Speaking of gay movies (though, I think without any Ken Kesey references this time), “On Swift Horses” gives queers a cornucopia of choices. It feels a bit like a pansexual “Brokeback Mountain” – but mostly just because of the horses and gayness. The film, which stars Daisy Edgar-Jones, Jacob Elordi, Will Poulter and out queer actors Sasha Calle and Kat Cunning. Feels like this is gonna be a heartbreaker. But, you know, attractive people being horny for each other in extremely gay ways, well, that’s always a way straight to this gay heart.

Like Water for Lesbians

I’m always interested to see what art artists are passionate about. And it seems for Kristen Stewart it is her directorial debut with “The Chronology of Water.” Based on a memoir of the same name by Oregon-based writer Lidia Yuknavitch, it is a coming of age and beyond story of a woman who uses swimming to try to escape an abusive past. And then drugs and bisexuality and BDSM and Ken Kesey and swimming all apparently happen.

I clearly haven’t read the book but I’m fascinated to see the project that K-Stew vowed she would finish before finishing any other films. And clearly it will be queer. The movie is set to premiere at the Cannes Film Festival this May. More queer women behind the camera filming gay things in front of the camera is always, always a good thing.

Music Monday: Da-da-da-da Edition

Since America seems to be nostalgic for 90s-style recessions, why don’t we set the mood with the proper 90s beat. First The Breeders, now Suzanne Vega – yeah, I’m an aging gen X-er leaning into her nostalgia. Also, I hope Suzanne gets a bunch of cheese from all the sampling of her hit and those iconic “da-da-da-da, da-da-da-das” by the likes of Fall Out Boy and more. Also, are bicycle shorts coming back for men? I kind of want to see that. I mean if we have to endure low-rise jeans again, they can wiggle into some bicycle shorts. It only seems fair. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Well, well, well. Aren’t we in the era of confirmations of gay shit we totally knew (i.e. Rio was Nicky’s other mother et al). While promoting her new solo album “Forever Is a Feeling,” singer-songwriter Lucy Dacus confirmed she was in a relationship with her boygenius bandmate Julien Baker. I know, I know – duh. But these days confirmations of verifiable facts are few and far between. So it’s lovely that Lucy made it official, official in a series of interviews including with the New Yorker and People. Missing out on boygenius’s supercaligaygilistic 2023 tour is a bit of a regret of mine. But, at least we’ll have the photographic memories. Like, do you think every icon they’re photographed with here knew?

Did Meryl tell them to move their relationship at a glacial pace?

Was Joan Baez like, aw, which one is Diamond and which one is Rust?

And given this photo with Billie Eilish was taken in December 2023 – four months before she herself came out in her April 2024 Rolling Stone cover story – was she like, guys, I also have a secret?

Finally, I’d like to note that my clear cropping out of Phoebe Bridgers is not bisexual erasure (she has been with standup Bo Burnham since 2022, not that there’s anything wrong with that), but because who needs a third wheel around all the time? Amirite, ladies? Anyway, I kept her in with Taylor because, well, those Gaylor rumors won’t perpetuate themselves.

Anyway, mazel tov to Lucy and The Little One. May you continue to be each other’s best guess at the future forever. Also, no matter what the Internet may have already landed on, imma call them "Jucy." Happy weekend, all.

Lesbian Moms All Along

One of the things about us queers is we love a good confirmation. Of course, we know. WE KNOW. But make it official, and then we KNOWWWWWW. You know? So at Paleyfest late last month when “Agatha All Along creator Jac Schaeffer confirmed that Rio (a.k.a. Death a.k.a. Aubrey Plaza) and Agatha (a.k.a. Mother Hahn) were indeed the mothers/fathers of little Nicky – well, cue queer lady squealing everywhere. May we finally have the wink-wink, but never make it official queer representations of the past behind us. Truly, I think confirmations like this must be for the straights in the audience. You know, the folks still out there going, “So, are they roommates?” Harold, they’re lesbians. They’re all lesbians. And they’re lesbianing together. Cue the squealing in 3-2-1.

p.s. Ike knows. He KNOWS.

Fruit of Meryl’s Loom

Um, did you know Meryl Streep has a hot masc queer daughter? Did you know her hot masc daughter did a super hot ad campaign for some underwear/fashion brand I’ve never heard of before but, and I cannot emphasize this enough, is ridiculously hot? Look, I’m a perimenopausal woman, you can’t just drop insane thirst traps like this on me. I’m likely to overheat. I am actively overheating. Which, honesty, is the one time a hot flash is fine. Also did I flip this photo below to the proper orientation because have I mentioned I am perimenopausal and twisting my neck can be problematic. Yeah, that’s why.

Also, whatever this brand is (I know, it’s Kallmeyer), lesbians everywhere thank you for making both underwear, denim and suits. Like, wait, is this like Lesbian Calvin Klein? Which is almost redundant to say because, hello, every lesbian owns that one Calvin sports bra.

Anyway, 33-year-old Louisa Jacobson (Meryl’s youngest child and a star on “The Gilded Age”), came out last Pride via Instagram in a post with her girlfriend. I know, I know – now you are disappointed. But we can still look on respectfully. Hey, I said respectfully. Well, good luck with that. Happy Hump Day, indeed.

p.s. I think Fruit of Meryl’s Loom should be a queer band name. Just putting that out there for free, universe.

Tina for All Seasons

A new TV miniseries from My Fake TV/Movie/MediaMogul Wife Tina Fey? Finally, a reason to hope beyond all the April premieres. Tina has created and stars in “The Four Seasons” based on the early 80s film by the same name that starred Carol Burnett, Rita Moreno and Alan Alda. I don’t think I ever watched that one, as I was too young for the theaters when it released. Though, it’s possible I caught it on repeats on HBO years later. The original apparently starred Bess Armstrong, a.k.a. The Mom from “My So-Called Life” as the Hot Young Thing.

Tina’s adaptation appears to keep the three couples who go on vacation through the seasons/years concept. But now one of the couples is a gay couple, played by Colman Domingo and Marco Calvani, and the others are played by Tina and Will Forte, Steve Carell and Reno 911 alum Kerri Kenney-Silver. There’s also a lot of travel and possible personal injury, per the trailer. While we clearly have a gay male couple in the mix, I have no idea if any queer ladies show up too. But this woman about to get smacked in the face by a frisbee certainly has potential.

So, anyone have strong feelings about the original they want to share? Is this White Lotus for middle-class couples, with hopefully less death?

p.s. Here is the original trailer, as a refresher, for those who like to compare and contrast.

Music Monday: Cannonball Edition

Any Gen Xers knows those signature opening awoo-wooos and gritty bass riffs by heart. And whenever I hear this song I’m flooded with the chaotic optimism of youth. Also, the hotness of twin sisters Kim and Kelley Deal and bassist Josephine Wiggs. I read Kim Deal is solo touring, and was in my neck of America recently. I missed it, which is a bummer. But I fondly remember seeing The Breeders in the 90s. This song right here, it needs a Kate Bush renaissance. Because that shit still slaps – or whatever the kids today say these days. If the 90s are back in fashion, bring The Breeders back to our radios. It only seems fair. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Well, obviously, I missed the end of Women’s History Month 2025 by four days. But as we all endure the madness of an economic and social policy hellbent on dragging us back to a pre-New Deal America, I want to remind everyone that so much of That Orange Turd’s appeal to the Incel Generation is putting women back in their place. We are there to serve the Big Important Men, as faithful wives and loyal messengers. Blind obedience. Willful ignorance. Compulsory cruelty. No thoughts, just owning the Libs.

Well, fuck them. Fuck all of them. Fuck the women who think embracing the patriarchy and white supremacy is the best way to protect themselves in particular. (But, truly, fuck those guys.)

Whenever I think about women’s emotional (and physical) labor, I always think of Kate Bush and her brilliant “This Woman’s Work.” (Also Paris Paloma’s “Labour,” but Kate is the OG.) Kittens of a particular age will remember her song as the crescendo heartstrings moment in the 1988 romcom-dramedy “She’s Having a Baby” with Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern (boy, both those two crazy kids ended up having pretty OK careers, huh). Anyway, that scene still does it to me. So, equally obviously, I’ve been thrilled with the Kate Bush renaissance brought about by Stranger Things. Finally, good things happening in this universe. May so many more deserving women and marginalized people be similarly recognized. The universe owes us, quite frankly, a billion what with all the bullshit it’s been pulling recents. Happy weekend, kittens.

Gay Old Time

This Christo-fascist wet dream of an administration may be literally stripping the accomplishments of Black, brown, indigenous and other people of color not to mention women and transgender people from federal history. But Sunday during primetime TV two big old queers are gonna gay it up in concert together for all of America to see. On CBS, of all places. During these oppressive, anti-Diversity, Equity and Inclusion times (I believe anyone who is against DEI should have to say they are against “Diversity, Equity and Inclusion” out loud every single time they say they are against DEI), representation matters more than ever. Of course, not only are Elton and Brandi doing a primetime concert together, they’re releasing their album “Who Believes in Angels?” tomorrow as well. I feel like this era in Brandi’s career has been about collaborating and reinvigorating music icons. First Joni, now Elton. I love it all, and obviously the gayer the better. Make a joyous gay noise all over America’s Sunday nights, you two. Diversity, Equity and Inclusion makes beautiful music together, it turns out.

Dropped the Ball

Well, shit. I let this week get away from me. It’s been a busy work/life/everything time and I actually had posts ready to go but didn’t get a chance to post them. C’est la Late Stage Capitalism vie. As an apology here are the stars of Friday’s women’s Final Four in various tank top and tank-top accessorized uniforms (or, in Paige Bueckers’s GQ photoshoot case, bikinis masquerading as a tank top…). Admittedly, I only get really interested in these kinds of sportball things when championships approach. I’m a call-me-when-the-stakes-are-really-high fan, I guess. For women’s sports, that is. The only men’s sport I regularly watch is the Super Bowl, and that’s mostly for the mid-game concert. And with that, some real ballers.

UConn, Paige Bueckers #5

She heard Caitlin Clark bulked up in the off season, and is responding accordingly.

UCLA, Lauren Betts #51

I’ll be flying Air Betts after all these FAA cuts, thank you very much.

South Carolina, Chloe Kitts #21

In Dawn Staley we trust.

Texas, Madison Booker #35

Not to be outdone by Air Betts, Air Booker also seems highly reliable.

Who ya rooting for? I want to see UConn and South Carolina go at it for the championship, duh.