My Weekend Crush

Well I let this holiday weekend get away from me. Kind of shocking that the Orange Turd hasn't repealed Juneteenth as a federal holiday. Maybe he was too busy waging war on algae. Anyway, please enjoy a few lessons in intersectionality and the need for diversity for societies to advance from The Audre Lorde. I wonder when we, as a society, will finally learn this lesson. Not nearly soon enough. Happy what is left of the weekend, all.

Tank Top Tuesday: Space Woman Edition

Am I about to be deeply shallow to someone who has been closer than any other woman – and all but three men on Earth – to the edge of deep space? Yes, yes, I am. And I am OK with that because, after all, I am just a lesbian woman. And I have eyes. And it is Tuesday. And those eyes acknowledge that NASA astronaut and Artemis II Specialist Christina Koch looks great in a tank top on this Tuesday and every day. And a flight suit. And even NASA’s standard issue dorky polo and khakis. Because, hello, forearms. Heck, we don’t even mind that she’s married to a man. We just know Christina got on a rocket to the moon and came back a lesbian icon. Science, baby!

I hope you were as inspired by Christina and the rest of the crew of the Artemis II as they splashed down on Friday. Humans can still do great things, we just need better leaders who will do great things with us. After seeing Christina make it around the moon and back, I would say I feel pretty inspired. The tank tops help, too. What? Lots of things can be inspiring.

My Weekend Crush

What should you do when the President of the United States points his stubby little finger at a female reporter just doing her job and says, “Quiet, piggy” for all the cameras and world to see?

Yeah, you know what to do. Because fuck that motherfucker. Or, Bill fucker? So let them fly, ladies. Though which style you do it, well, that’s entirely up to you.

The Double Cersei

The Smile & Bird

The Smile & Double Bird

The Look Away

The Emmy Worthy

The Oscar Worthy

The Early 2000s

The Billionaires Are So Cringe

The O.G.

So, yeah, fuck that motherfucker. Happy weekend, all.

Do Call Me Shirley

Earlier this month, when British actress Pauline Collins passed away, her obituaries noted her breakout role in “Shirley Valentine.” The role, which she originated on stage before taking to the screen, earned Pauline an Oscar nomination and Tony, Olivier and BAFTA awards. But what it really did was solidify the still-radical-in-1989 idea that middle-class housewives should be allowed to have dreams beyond domestic servitude. Yet, here we are 36 years later, and a whole genre of men (you know the type, they run our federal government now) are out there saying, out loud, that wouldn’t women just be happier if they were back in the home again? But it was true in 1989 as it is true in 2025, women contain multitudes. And if they want to fuck off to Greece at a moment’s notice, they should absolutely fuck off to Greece. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Thanks for the reminder, Shirley. Rest in power, Pauline.

My Weekend Crush

Sometimes you just need a little nostalgic hopecore to get you through the day. So by all means go wrap yourself in the warm embrace of the late 90s optimism of the female singer-songwriter era. The new Hulu documentary “Lilith Fair: Building a Mystery” is exactly that hopecore. Besides the welcome faces of so many heroes from that time, from the Indigo Girls and Erykah Badu to Natalie Merchant and Sarah McLachlan herself, the film also reminds us of the still revolutionary nature of it all. An all-women music festival? In this economy? Taylor Swift and her opener is one thing. But a whole bill? Now hold on, little ladies. Will it also make you feel a little old and remind you how our cultural history is lost if not specifically passed down to new generations? What do you mean kids today don’t know what Lilith Fair was? Teach the children! Open the schools! Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend (Protest) Crush

In recent years, given the apparent progress the LGBTQ+ rights movement has been able to make with marriage equality and overall acceptance, it was easy for it to perhaps feel Pride was just one big victory lap. As such, we invited all kinds of groups to the party. Sure, corporations, you can have a float. Go off, Lochheed Martin, with your sassy genocidal missiles! Yasss, queen…

But, as you know, I’ve always said outright that corporations are not our friends. Sure, we can celebrate their actions sometimes as bellweathers. But their only interest is making money, and if they think supporting queers will make them more money they will do that. And when they stop thinking that, like now and how every single company that ended their DEI programs so clearly showed us, they will drop us and all other support for marginalized groups from Black and POC people to women, etc etc etc. like the hottest of potatoes.

But the thing is, we always knew Pride wasn’t just a party. And it’s definitely not a victory lap because we don’t have full equality – and the new administration is doing everything it can to roll back what rights we have won. Make no mistake, trans identity is under a full-scale attack, which means all LGBTQ+ rights are under attack.

You only have to read the headlines (though, please, read the entire articles) to see this is true. From giving active-duty trans troops until June 6 to self-identify and leave the U.S. military to stripping the name of gay rights icon Harvey Milk from a US Navy ship named after him (along with other civil rights leaders including Harriet Tubman, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Dolores Huerta, Cesar Chavez and Thurgood Marshall) we are not welcome in Trump’s America.

Doing that shit during Pride is on purpose. The cruelty, you see, is always the point.

But even more troubling – and don’t get me wrong, every-fucking-thing is troubling – is that these decisions help to embolden those who wish LGBTQ+ people ill. We have seen real, deadly violence against our community. This week former Parks & Rec and King of the Hill actor Jonathan Joss was shot and killed outside of his home. His husband has alleged that the attack was fueled by homophobia and disgust in their relationship. So, cool, they’re just killing gay people out in the open now.

This year, amid the needed frivolity and fun, let’s remember what Pride is really all about. Pride started as a riot, a riot against the police and their discriminatory treatment of LGBTQ+ people. Pride remains a protest because the discriminatory treatment of LGBTQ+ people has not ceased – and instead with this new horrid administration it has increased.

We celebrate Pride so that no one feels alone, in what can often be a lonely world for people who feel different. We celebrate loud and proud so youth, the closeted and any other questioning folks know the possibilities of living your authentic life. We celebrate Pride because we will not be silenced, we will never go back to hiding ourselves.

I hope everyone makes plans to support the June 14 No Kings protests – by attending or supporting their other actions. Truly, we should all be looking for ways to fight back, even in small ways. Because everything counts right now.

What is happening in America right now is the dismantling of every single public good the government provides. All of our lives – gay, straight or whatever – will be affected by the enshitification of our vital services. Cuts to Medicaid means fewer people get needed healthcare. Cuts to NOAA staff means fewer warning about deadly weather events. Cuts to the FDA means more dangerous food can enter our supply, sickening and killing people. Cuts to National Park Service means fewer public places for everyone to enjoy. Cuts (well, the decimation) of USAID means children all over the globe die of preventable diseases. I could go on and on and on and on and on.

In the end, I hope this Pride finds you angry. I hope this Pride finds you furious. And I hope we all take that anger and that fury and channel it into action. Don’t worry, you can still dance your ass off. But just use that energy, use that joy, and do something with it. All of our futures depend on Pride continuing to be a riot. Happy first Pride weekend, all.

My Weekend Crush

Well, obviously, I missed the end of Women’s History Month 2025 by four days. But as we all endure the madness of an economic and social policy hellbent on dragging us back to a pre-New Deal America, I want to remind everyone that so much of That Orange Turd’s appeal to the Incel Generation is putting women back in their place. We are there to serve the Big Important Men, as faithful wives and loyal messengers. Blind obedience. Willful ignorance. Compulsory cruelty. No thoughts, just owning the Libs.

Well, fuck them. Fuck all of them. Fuck the women who think embracing the patriarchy and white supremacy is the best way to protect themselves in particular. (But, truly, fuck those guys.)

Whenever I think about women’s emotional (and physical) labor, I always think of Kate Bush and her brilliant “This Woman’s Work.” (Also Paris Paloma’s “Labour,” but Kate is the OG.) Kittens of a particular age will remember her song as the crescendo heartstrings moment in the 1988 romcom-dramedy “She’s Having a Baby” with Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern (boy, both those two crazy kids ended up having pretty OK careers, huh). Anyway, that scene still does it to me. So, equally obviously, I’ve been thrilled with the Kate Bush renaissance brought about by Stranger Things. Finally, good things happening in this universe. May so many more deserving women and marginalized people be similarly recognized. The universe owes us, quite frankly, a billion what with all the bullshit it’s been pulling recents. Happy weekend, kittens.

Music Monday: Gods Like Us

Right, so let’s kick 2025’s ass. We are not just the obsequious serfs for the billionaire class. We are the gods of our own lives. And we have electoral, political, and personal power. Also, wouldn’t “Gladiator II” have been so much more interesting if it was about women in whatever Romanesque/Shakespearean/Game of Thonesian setting this is instead of just beefy men beefing in sandals? We grow human life. What can do you do, dude? Lift heavy things? That’s cute. Happy we are gods Monday, kittens.

Roaring into 2025

I know people clown on this song. But if Lee Greenwood can keep trotting himself out as a pinnacle of MAGA patriotism, we should keep embracing the unabashed feminism of Helen Reddy. “I Am Woman Hear Me Roar” remains as relevant as it was when it was released 54 years ago. Two years later, and Roe v. Wade was decided. This performance, in 1989, came after abortion had been legal federally for 16 years already. Yet here we are nearly four decades later and women and pregnant people have now lost that guaranteed right. Well, fuck that. Fuck them. And for the next four years and beyond I hope we all roar with our disapproval and defiance. Indeed, “women are not without electoral or political power” – so let’s keep working and pressing and demanding our full equal rights and complete bodily autonomy. Roar more in 2025, ladies. Roar more.

Music Monday: Let's Talk About It

Yes, another Tracy Chapman song. Yes, another reminder for these times. We can either rise up or continue to be ground down by the incessant demands of capitalism fueled by the endless greed of the 1%. Or we can start with a whisper that builds to a fucking scream. Do not comply in advance. Do not normalize these carnival barkers. Anyway, per usual, fuck the patriarchy, fuck white supremacy and fuck late stage capitalism. Happy Monday, kittens!

Fuck the Patriarchy

I’ve lost the capacity to be disappointed in America. I know that is my privilege speaking – many communities have long ago lost faith in their fellow citizens’ concern for their life and liberty. Yet I stupidly thought we had maybe learned our lessons from 2016. Maybe we were ready for an incredibly smart and extremely qualified woman instead of, you know, the least qualified and most heinous man in the whole fucking world. Yet here comes the American electorate, Lucy-ing all sane citizens with that damn football. Again.

So, again, I look at every passing person and think, “Did they vote against my and other marginalized people’s pursuit of happiness?” And the answer, in most cases, is probably, “Yep, they sure did.” Racism, sexism, greed, stupidity. Pick your Pandora's box poison, it all went into his win and our loss. Those are some hard truths about your fellow Americans to sit with. Hard truths, but unfortunately nothing new.

As the horror of the second Trump term grows ever closer, we each need to find the best way to survive and – if we can – thrive. And that starts with checking on your people. All of the people I care about are scared and stressed and barely holding their shit together at this moment. While many of us may want to turn off the lights and find a safe place to gently rock back-and-forth, I implore everyone to keep caring, keep connecting.

When people say that our institutions will not save us, this is exactly what they mean. I feel foolish to have taken this long to fully understand how vulnerable and ineffective so many of our civic systems truly are. If they cannot protect us during the onslaught to come, then they were never actually designed to help those who need it the most. Instead we must strengthen our communities and find new alliances for support and power in the coming years. Think globally, act locally should be more than just a bumper sticker mantra.

A clear-eyed look at our country’s history shows those of us who support expanded freedom and civil rights locked in an endless knock-down, drag-out brawl against those who are against including more people in the American dream. From colonialism to slavery to civil rights to women's rights to LGBTQ+ rights and immigrant rights. I mean, we’ve been punched in the face by the patriarchy for 248 years, what’s four more?

The entrenched cis-het white male power structure has always worked against giving more and more diverse people autonomy and equality. I mean, the Founding Fathers went to war over freedom from taxation, not just freedom for all – full stop.

So where are we? Well, fucked. Clearly. But also, kind of in the same place. The same people who always fight against progress are fighting against progress. The time and labor those of us who want progress will have to expend pushing back against their bigotry, stupidity and nonsense is precisely why they do it. We’ll be fighting for the next four years – and then some – to get back to where we are now. But fight we must.

I too am frightened and angry and exhausted all at once. But I also feel a grim solidarity with all similarly like-minded people. And while the total vote tally may wind up showing fewer of us this time, we are still legion. To say that I’m comforted that so many other people are in the same panicked state – stressed, sad, scared – would be wrong. I don’t feel comfort from the unjustified suffering of others. But I will say it makes me feel a little less alone. And maybe you too will feel less lonely in this grim moment. Some 74 million of us are all feeling the same fear and loathing.

May all of us, after a little rest and a good cry, dust ourselves off and continue the work of creating that more perfect union. Keep fighting, keep connecting, keep lifting each other up. Our fight does not end with one election. Our communities are stronger and more resilient than one man. We will continue bending the arc of the moral universe toward justice for all. Because, and I mean this with every fiber of my being, fuck the patriarchy.

Mental Health Vacation: POTUS SBP

Truly, the very, most and beyond not a real reason to be genuinely scared and upset in this historical moment, but FUCK WE COULD HAVE HAD PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES STRAIGHT BETTE PORTER. I deal with crippling despair about what is to come with humor and profanity, preferably together. Be kind to yourselves this weekend, all.

Mental Health Vixen: 80s Rock

At this point, I won’t lie, I am just posting random photos I find in my archive folders that spark any kind of joy. So here are Cyndi Lauper and Elvira/Cassandra Peterson in the late 1980s. You know, the decade when that orange bastard was mostly just a gossip punchline, not the most powerful fascist on the planet. Sorry, I truly did mean to spark joy. Who knew I would look toward the 80s for that these days.

Mental Health Vacation Vixen: Still MVP

I am sorry, but while I am technically back, I am not ready to talk about it. I’m just not. I’m somehow still in the exhausted phase, even after a vacation. And it has only been one week. I hope you are all taking care of yourselves and those you love. We’ll certainly need each other.

Vacation Vixen: Hillary Clinton

Anyone who lived through 2008, 2016, et al knows exactly how I feel about Hillary Clinton. Never forget that she made all those cracks in the highest, hardest ceiling. Thank you, Hillary. Thank you.

Vacation Vixen: Geraldine Ferraro

Forty years ago, Geraldine Ferraro became the first woman to be nominated as the vice presidential candidate for a major political party. I remember her running with Mondale, and how exciting it felt despite the landslide loss. Four decades later, here we are.

Vacation Vixen: Shirley Chisholm

We stand, all of us, on the shoulders of those who came before us. May we honor their hard work and historic audacity. So today, let’s all give a warm thanks to Shirley Chisholm, the first Black woman elected to the House of Representatives in 1968 and the first Black woman to run for president for a major party in 1972. The first, but her legacy has ensured definitely not the last.

Vacation Vixen: Kamala Harris

Please, America. Please vote for the woman this time. Please vote for the Black and Indian women. Please vote for the best and most accomplished candidate* (*major party, I don’t have time for quibbles today folks). Please vote for the only candidate who will uphold our Democracy. Please vote for the only candidate who isn’t a racist. Please, America. Vote and finally reject that sad, vengeful, bigoted orange excuse for a human being. History must beat hate, once and for all. Kamala Harris for President. Period.

p.s. Also, come on, you know you want to see me write about President Straight Bette Porter for the next four-to-eight years. Right? Right.

My Vote, Your Vote, Our Vote

The older I get, the clearer I get about voting. Mind you, I have always voted. I even got to vote before I turned 18, because I was going to be out of the country on election day on my school foreign exchange trip. So I got to cast my absentee ballot early.

And I have voted in every single election since – save for one very small local primary I forgot was happening more than a dozen years ago – because I believe it is our duty as citizens. But, more than that, I have come to understand it as our duty as humans. Because a vote isn’t just an expression of political ideology – though of course we love to wrap emotion and identity and philosophy into each decision. But what a vote really is the physical exercise of how we systematically care for one another.

Our political system, as endlessly imperfect as it is, is still our best collective mechanism for change. As such, as we sadly know too well, it is also extremely resistant to change. Which is where voting comes in. Our democracy (except for the Electoral College, which – don’t get me started…) relies on an informed citizenry who votes. That more than half to a third of all eligible voters simply don’t bother to vote in any given election – honestly it blows my mind, but in some ways I get it.

I especially get it if people don’t vote out of hopelessness. That doesn’t mean I accept the lazy “both sides are the same” arguments. But I understand that years, decades, centuries of circumstances not changing for the most marginalized people can lead one to think nothing is possible.

But here is the thing. The entire history of humanity – and this country – has been a slow, and very painful march toward more inclusivity. It has not always been linear, nor has the progress always been significant or ever nearly enough. But slowly, slowly (and, yes, so very painfully) more and more people in this country are able to pursue life, liberty and happiness.

We have so much work to do. But almost none of that can happen if Trump wins again. That pathetic excuse for a human being with the Supreme Court-annointed immunity of a God-King and every lever of our federal and judicial branch at his disposal? It’s not hyperbole to think we’d stop making civil rights progress altogether – at least for the duration of his presidency/dictatorship, if not the remainder of our lifetimes.

So, again, that’s where voting comes in again. Yes, it’s imperative to vote for Kamala Harris and repudiate Donald Trump at the polls. Yes, we must rid our politics of the hateful MAGA cult. Yes, we must hold the House and win back the Senate. Yes, we must flip statehouses and city councils and school boards.

We do this not because we think Democrats or progressive candidates are magicians. Voting for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz won’t automatically solve all of our inequalities. But they are the only candidates who stand a chance of winning who can be pushed, and forcefully prodded if needed, to be better. And while marginally better may not feel like nearly enough, especially with the weight of so much suffering in our world, it is still infinitely better than the alternative.

And that, that is my whole philosophy of voting. I vote to do the most good for the most people. Each ballot I cast is a calculation. No, I may not agree with every single policy proposal or political stance of every politician I vote for. And, trust me, I’ve been plenty disappointed by Democrats over the years. Like, grow a damn backbone and stop thinking corporations will save us. But I am also a realist, and I know exactly how slow that moral arc of the universe has proven to be. It’s up to us to make sure it keeps arcing toward justice – and we must work to bend faster.

So, in this election, the choice could not be simpler. A vote for anyone other than Kamala this election is a vote that says my political ideologies are more important to me than the people who will be hurt by a second Trump presidency. Which, hey, this is a free country, you can feel however you want to feel and vote however you want to vote. For those voting for him, that harm is the feature, and not a bug, of his candidacy – obviously. But for the rest of us you can’t deny that his policies will hurt Black people, Brown people, Muslims, other POC, immigrants, women, LGBTQ+ people and trans/gender nonconforming people especially.

Plus, anyone who wants generals like Hilter can never be allowed back in the White House. Period.

So with one week to the election, and having already cast my ballot, I still believe in the possibility of a better America. And electing Kamala and finally defeating Trump (again!), well, that’s the first step toward any kind of brighter days. Vote Harris-Walz 2024. LFG.

We Are the Champions

You know me, I’m not much for the sportsball. But if it’s women’s sportsball, well, you know that’s entirely different. I’ve gotten into the WNBA this season and very much enjoyed the playoffs and finals (yes, fine, sometimes I only watch during the playoffs because – damn seasons are long and these travel food shows won’t watch themselves).

Anyway, this is just a long way of saying, how about that NY Liberty vs. Minnesota Lynx Game 5? And of course it went to overtime. Of course. While I wasn’t necessarily rooting for either team (saving my allegiances for the Valkyrie, Bay Area baby!), I was rooting for a good game. And despite a bit of a shooting rut for some of the stars, we certainly got that.

Also, I love that two of the championship team’s biggest players are out, proud and happily celebrating for all to see with their partners and families. While the WNBA has certainly undergone some growing pains this unprecedented year (like, maybe don’t let “fans” be racist and homophobic, m’kay?), it also has evolved into one of the most inclusive leagues out there. We can only hope that as the WNBA’s popularity grows, so will its embrace of diversity and equity for all its players.

So congrats to the Liberty. Congrats to Breanna Stewart and her wife (and adorable baby) and to Finals MVP Jonquel Jones and her fiancée. Everyone watches women’s sportsball!