Any Gays in the Building?

Remember when Mabel was gay for a season? Ah, good times. Anyway, I can’t be too salty about a series that gave us Meryl Streep and Martin Short’s on-screen and real-life romances because, I can’t help it, I still love love. But, anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, “Only Murders in the Building” is back for its fifth season of murder and podcasting. And this time Renée Zellweger will be joining the cast. Bridget Jones and Miranda Priestly in the same television universe? I’ll take it. Also, there will be at least one real gay. I see you, Beanie Feldstein.

My Weekend Dorothy

I realize last month I missed my 13th blogiversary last month (April 24, to be exact). My, how the years have flown by. So it only seems fitting to give a little love to the woman who inspired the name who inspired the blog who inspired all Friends of Dorothy the world over. I don’t know whether “Judy” will do the inimitable Judy Garland justice. But I am pretty curious to see how Renee Zellweger does giving it the old post-collegiate try. Plus, who can’t listen to “Over the Rainbow” once or twice or infinity times more? I mean, it is almost Pride month, after all. Happy weekend, all.

Face Time

I do not have a problem with Renee Zellweger’s face. I have never had a problem with Renee Zellweger’s face. And I do not anticipate having a problem with Renee Zellweger’s face in the future. This is because Renee Zellweger’s face has never done anything to me personally, as a human being. I expect it to stay that way baring a chance encounter where we’re both bending down to pick up a package and her face smacks into my face, we laugh about it, decide to have a coffee to continue laughing and then become BFFs who laugh together to the irritation of all those around us over the in-joke of our faces smashing into each other that one fateful day. Otherwise, Renee Zellweger’s face and I have no relationship whatsoever.

But yesterday the entire fucking Internet couldn’t stop talking about its deep personal relationship with Renee Zellweger’s face. That’s the only reason I can think for all the fussing and worrying and tittering and squawking about Renee Zellweger’s face. Everyone on The Internet must know it personally and therefore it’s state of being is an integral part of everyone’s life. Otherwise, it would just be silly to monitor and scrutinize and compare and hypothesize so much about Renee Zellweger’s face.

Women in general and women in Hollywood in particular have become so accustomed to the world’s scrutiny of our faces, our bodies, our lives that we hardly think it unusual. Of course people are noticing and judging and clucking behind our backs. Of course. Nothing unusual about that. But you know what, it is unusual. It’s downright peculiar. What does it matter to you or me or the Shih Tzu that lives next door that something may or may not look a little different about Renee Zellweger’s face? How do whatever procedures that may or may not have been done to Renee Zellweger’s face impact my day-to-day life? Has it made me late for the bus? Did it make me bounce the rent check? Will it make me nachos for dinner? Nope, nope and – dammit – nope.

So what that Renee Zellweger’s face looks a little different. It’s her face. We’ve become so conditioned to judge ourselves and each other that we barely notice how unbearable that spot between the rock and the hard place we are wedged has become. We’re damned if we do (OMG, look at her face – pre-surgery), and damned if we don’t (OMG, look at her face – post-surgery). Now, I’m no fan of cosmetic procedures. I wish we lived in a society where we all felt comfortable enough in our own skin to just leave ourselves be. But I certainly don’t feel we should heap scorn on those who feel differently. Our perception of our beauty is so wrapped up in the cultural perception of our beauty that too often there is no distinction.

Which brings me back to Renee Zellweger’s face. Like I said, I have no problem with Renee Zellweger’s face. But I have a lot of problems with how we’ve all reacted to Renee Zellweger’s face.