Mask Up, Ladies

Never mind women in tank tops. These days, women properly wearing face masks in public is my new sexuality. After seeing how amazing Cate Blanchett looks in a face mask to prevent the spread of coronavirus, I thought I’d share the love. Because, and I cannot stress this point enough, all women look amazing in face masks. Why? Well, wearing a face mask means 1) you believe in science, 2) you care about other people, and 3) you aren’t an enormous asshole – at least not on the issue of spreading a potentially deadly and debilitating highly communicable respiratory illness.

I know, it seems absolutely insane that six months into a global pandemic we still have to try (largely in vain) to get more people to wear face masks. Like they’re mandated in my state (as they should be across the county) yet compliance is still hit-and-miss. But the very same people screaming about their “FREEDOMS!” are the people who keep telling Black Americans they won’t get shot by police if only they comply. But ask them to comply by putting a piece of cloth over their big, stupid mouth and nose to keep those around them healthy and you’d think we rolled the Constitution into a blunt and started smoking it in front of their faces.

Anyway. Long story short, be like Charlize, wear a damn mask. And, while you’re at it, wash your hands and fill out your Census.

Charlize Theron

I have every confidence if Charlize/Furiosa/Andy ran across you not wearing a mask, they would 100 percent kick your ass.

Janelle Monae

Giving out food to those in need and accessorizing with a hat. She can do it all.

Tilda Swinton

Masks, for humans and space aliens.

Jennifer Lopez

Ageless, flawless, but definitely not maskless. Bonus points for the tank top on a Tuesday, too.

Lady Gaga

Honestly not sure if this mask is medically sound, but it sure is hard to miss.

Naomi Osaka

Wearing the names of Black women and men killed by police on your way to winning her second U.S. Open championish is, what the kids today call, a whole mood. A very, very good mood.

Chrissy Teigen

A mask plus three pizzas? Who says the perfect human being does not exist?

Hillary Clinton

We probably wouldn’t even still have to be wearing masks if the stupid Electoral College didn’t exist.

Kamala Harris

A mask, a blazer and some Chucks. Now that’s my Vice President Straight Bette Porter.

My Weekend Crush

I haven’t stopped thinking about last Saturday’s U.S. Open Women’s Finals between Serena Williams and Naomi Osaka. What started as a brilliant display of female athleticism and excellence ended as a pathetic display of the fragile male ego and persistent double standard women everywhere face in their personal and professional lives. That it played out on the grandest of slam stages only further highlights a persistent and pernicious problem for 51 percent of the population.

Here were two women, at the top of their respective games, battling it out. And we, the spectators, were lucky enough to see it all unfold. Until, that is, the chair umpire decided to inset himself in their match. Why? Well, first he warned Serena that she had been coached when her coach in the stands made a hand signal which she undoubtedly did not see. And then, he took away a point when she smashed her racket in frustration. And, finally, he took away a whole game after she called him a “thief” for taking the aforementioned point.

Now, granted, if you stick with the letter of the rules he may have been within his right. But if you think about everything that has transpired in men’s – from the storied celebration of such blowhards as McEnroe and Connors and other men in this sport – it was an imperious punishment for a relatively minor offence. Seriously, just for calling the umpire a thief? Guess this dude never worked in fast food. I’ve heard more vicious and unrelenting rants at McDonalds when someone forgets the fries in an order.

But then, that’s what happen when women – particularly women of color – dare to challenge male authority. Instead of letting these two women play it out, he inserted himself. He unnecessarily made his presence felt. And in doing so he robbed both Serena and Naomi of what should have been a historic match. He did not give Serena the benefit of the doubt and he did not give Naomi her rightful moment. It tainted her win (though, believe me, I think she would have won because she was playing so brilliantly). It robbed them of the honest result, the honest victory, the honest loss. He stole this from two women of color at the pinnacle of their profession. So, yes, he was a thief.

Still, what happened after the match is just as extraordinary – but in a good way. At the trophy ceremony Serena implored the crowd to stop booing. She asked the crowd to celebrate Naomi’s win instead. She put her arm around her. She encouraged her. She comforted her. She made her feel like the champion she was.



This is women – particularly, again, women of color – carrying the emotional weight of progress on their backs. Carrying it an inch, a foot, a mile at a time toward full equality, against sexism, against racism. Smashing the patriarchy one tennis racket at a time.

What Serena said in her press conference, this is the work and the struggle. This is the distillation of intersectional feminism – to fight for our and the next generation’s right to live in a world without having to deal with the same sexist and racist bullshit over and over again. For men and women to be treated and respected and officiated the same way.

Alas, we still live in a world where men who argue are passionate and women who argue are hysterical. Men are strong, women are angry. Men are fired up, women are in meltdown.

That’s how a champion wins, no matter what the scoreboard says. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Naomi Osaka is a pure delight. Watch all of this and seethe a little more at what he stole from her. Thief indeed.



p.p.s. To the commenter who used the handle "Margaret Court" and wanted me to post an article by Martina Navratilova, here is a link to an article where Martina Navratilova calls out Margaret Court as a "racist and homophobe." Enjoy!