Now That's Entertainment

Look, I never watch the Grammys. I never watch because the Grammy are usually pretty terrible. Like I watched the year Steely Dan won everything, I know what can happen. But this year’s Grammys were….good. They were just really, really good. Entertaining. Moving. Surprising. MOVING SOME MORE. I mean Tracy and Annie and Joni alone made the evening iconic and a queer Gen X lady’s widest dreams. But there was also Oprah and Beyonce and Taylor and Celine, and Mariah and Mylie and Meryl. MERLY Freaking STREEP.

And do you know why this Grammy telecast was so very good for so very long this time? For the first hour and a half it featured literally all female performers or female winners (yes, Luke, but I already said I’m not cranky with him anymore). Maybe I’m just excited I knew (and liked) most of this year’s artists instead of just squinting at my screen and saying who? And I love that Taylor winning Album of the Year will make the crazy MAGAs even crazier. Don’t worry, she’ll still be able to skydive into the Super Bowl to endorse Biden and then fly off on a unicorn to turn all children gay, fellas. Keep investing in all that red string to connect all your amazing theories!

Speaking of things that make the MAGAs crazy, the gays did so well. Boygenius won three Grammys. Victoria Monet won Best New Artist. Mylie won Solo Pop Performance and Record of the Year. Billie Eilish won Song of the Year. Gaylors are still hyperventilating because, hello, a whole album about tortured poets?

I think another reason this year’s show felt so good was it truly did showcase so many ridiculously talented stars. They’re artists and entertainers and superstars for a reason. Like who didn’t get goose bumps at Annie Lennox’s stunning “Nothing Compares 2 U” tribute to Sinead O’Connor. With Wendy and Lisa (the duo that was part of Prince's Revolution) as her backing band no less. Her raised fist “Artists for ceasefire! Peace in the world!” at the end was perhaps the most appropriate way to honor Sinead’s memory and activism. Powerful.

And then Joni Mitchell making her Grammy stage DEBUT at age 80 and spellbinding an audience filled with people a quarter of her age? With Brandi, of course. Masterful.

And just Tracy Chapman. TRACY CHAPMAN.

And to think I almost didn’t watch.

Music Monday: Annie Spells

Sometimes I forget how great a belter Annie Lennox is. And, amazingly, she’s also a crooner. And, of course, she can flat-out rock. So a belter, a crooner and a rocker all in one very attractive waistcoat. You love to see it. Also, it’s spooky season. So spells are, like, in. Happy Monday, kittens.

Tank Top Tuesday

You know how that Tuesday after a vacation can be even worse than the Monday after a vacation because Tuesday is the day it actually sets in that, “Dammit, I’m really going to have to be here all week.” So, naturally, I’ve turned to tank tops to soften the blow. Oh, tank tops. You never fail me.

Maria Bello

I don’t love the promos for “Prime Suspect,” but I do love Maria. So, you know, sold.

Heather MorrisI am suddenly irrationally jealous of that volleyball net, and that pole. Possibly the sand.

Lynn ChenSure, we’re all still in love with Michelle. But of course we fell for Lynn, too. She taught us to fall, after all.

Gillian AndersonScully is working on her fitness. Your argument is invalid.

Rashida JonesIf I promise to keep posting pictures of Rashida in a tank top, will you promise to watch “Parks and Recreations?”

Katie McGrathYou can’t really see much of her tank top here. I’m surprisingly OK with that.

Annie LennoxThat amount of cool should be bottled and sold in stores.

Missy PeregrymI have long forgotten the plot of “Stick It,” but I will never forget those abs.

Joanne KellyHave you ever wondered what a young Agent Myka Bering would look like in a tank top by a campfire? Well, now you know.

Gender Fuck Thursday: In Knots Edition

So, I’m thinking of wearing a tie out this Pride Weekend. I don’t usually wear ties, though I love them. As a kid, playing dress up with my dad’s old disguared ties was one of my most favorite games. (Seriously, how did I not know earlier?) But as an adult I haven’t ventured out in them too much for a number of reasons. My workplace is pretty casual. I’m not actually all that butch. I’m absolute rubbish at tying them. And, well, it can be a little stereotypical (I know, I know – big gay watch, big gay thumb ring, big gay chunky belt already). But this year I’m just really feeling the allure of a beautiful cravate. Naturally, I turn to my ladies of the gender fuck for inspiration. My, what lovely inspiration it is.

Annie LennoxWatch and learn, children, watch and learn

Marion CotillardShe makes me want to be a better woman in men’s clothes.

Anne HathawayThis photo proves that Anne needs to play gay in a movie immediately, if not sooner.

Karolina KurkovaI don’t usually feature models (let alone two, with Miranda Kerr above), but I was helpless against the killer lip bite and loose tie combination.

Kate MoennigCan’t explain the hair or the gloves. But I do love the tie.

BeyoncéI just like how she’s always leaning. Against stuff. She leans great

Selma BlairIf this was a “No Shirt, No Hands Down Pants, No Service” establishment, Selma would be in big trouble.

Lucille BallThe real reason we loved Lucy.

There, now don’t you feel all inspired? Now the only question left is which knot to use. And when, exactly, to loosen it.

Naked Lady Monday

The other day while scanning my site stats (I am huge in Luxembourg, HUGE) I checked to see the latest, hilarious search terms people were Googling to land here (“Hillary Clinton femslash” is my all-time personal favorite). That day I found someone who happened upon the site while searching “classy nude lady.” So today, as a public service, let me unequivocally say: “Internets, I've got your classy nude ladies right here!” Ahem. Also, to the person who arrived by asking “how do I know if my yogurt is bad,” my advice would be to smell it. Please, world, no need to thank me. I'm just happy to help.

Mariska HargitayAnnie LennoxMary-Louise ParkerSandra OhChloe SevignyElizabeth PerkinsNaomi WattsGina GershonGabrielle Union