Pre-L: “Quality Family Time” (S5E8)

So “The L Word: Generation Q” ends continues their third season with a “Q” word. And true to that form this season has felt like a transition, with the series leaning heavily on its next generation as the original cast faded more into the background – or completely off screen in many cases. The count of original cast members dwindled, so much so that we we’re only looking Very Shane Today in the season finale. But they also gave fitting conclusions to some of the Ghosts of L Word Past, including making amends for the Max debacle and Dana decision and last, but definitely not least, for making Tibette Endgame. Along the way, this show has managed to show a glorious spectrum of queer families – from those who raised us (for better or for worse) to our chosen families to the families we create out of nothing but our love and determination. Has it all been glorious? No, but I’m still thankful there’s space for a show that focuses entirely on our lives, even when it’s frustrating or dissapointing or batshit crazy. So, will we get another season of the women who long, love, lust? Good question, another one of those Q words.

1. Youths and their extreme scissoring.

2. Is this oat milk? It better be oat milk.

3. Gigi who? Kidding, but seriously, is she no longer on the show?

4. Does Lesiha get paid for this episode just for being on the phone?

5. I counted three edibles, so that turkey is gonna hit different.

6. I always thought Mary McCormack’s character from “In Plain Sight” should have been a lesbian. Now she’s a lesbian’s mom.

7. Oh no, not another throuple. (Kidding, they’d never invite that turkey…I’ll see myself out.)

8. Dani’s Thanksgiving plans win. No contest.

9. I still think it’s not a great idea to work at a bar as a recovering alcoholic, but at least Fin is dressing better.

10. They were just told if they get renewed for a fourth season it’ll be a murder mystery and one of them will end up dead in a pool.

11. Lesbian exes making bad decisions in real time.

11. As I was saying.

12. I wonder if they played musical chairs to see whose storyline would end in a cliffhanger. Well, at least it didn’t involve a pool, yet.

EDIT: Well, I don’t know why I thought this season had 8 episodes, but enjoy the cliffhanger anyway, sapphics.

Pre-L: “Quiz Show” (303)

Before we start things off, can we just address that this is the very first episode of “The L Word” in going on nine seasons to have a title that does in fact NOT start with an “L” word. But, I see what they did there. It starts with a “Q,” as in Generation Q (indeed it appears four of this season’s 10 episodes will have “Q” titles instead). But I know the only next generation question you care about is whether we are really going to see less of Bette fucking Porter this season. So, are we? Well, let’s find out.

1. Don’t worry, it appears they learned their Dana lesson. Don’t kill off the fan favorite off in the third season. Period.

2. Look, we can’t help it. “Chasing Amy” came out at a time when even mere acknowledgment of female queerness meant it had to be rewatched dozens of times while falling in love with the leading lady. So of course we’re thrilled to see Joey Lauren Adams. OF COURSE.

3. Sledgehammers. Work gloves. Muscle tees. Handy dykes. Magic Mike moves. This is the gratuitous Top Gun beach volleyball scene, but for lesbians.

4. I absolutely hate this storyline, plus is this how we’re gonna see Bette and Tina for the rest of the season? Only on the other side of a cellphone à la Samantha in “And Just Like That?”

5. You know what, Silver Daddy Rosie is working for me this season. Also could this show finally be setting up its first butch-butch relationship? (Plus “Kegel and hold, kegel and hold. Don’t sneeze” is fucking funny. Look, I’m a middle-aged lesbian. That shit hits home.)

6. Stop trying to make throuple happen. It’s never gonna happen.

7. Tess and her mom can have lovely moments. Now if they’d only stop making her the relationship “villain.” Save that Hellraiser.

8. Also, if we’re talking villains, Shane is right there. Oh, Shane.

9. I sure hope they use Margaret Cho again this season. Otherwise this is the second show I watch (looking at you, “Hacks”) that has tragically underused this genius icon.

10. That said, this is a throuple I could actually get behind.

11. What’s with lesbians and oranges? “Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit.” “Orange Is the New Black.” Orange You Glad Lesbians Don’t Like Banana? (Sorry, my Lesbian Dad jokes show sometimes.)

12. And, we’re right back to disliking throuples.

Scrap Cap Extra:

What? I still own the same bra.

Give 'Em Hell

Keeping in theme with Halloween Week and all things that go bump in the night, I have to say I think it’s pretty cool that Jamie Clayton has been cast in the iconic horror role of Pinhead for the reboot of the “Hellraiser” franchise. The gender-flip on what at least visually is one of the hand-down scariest characters in the horror pantheon is welcomed. I wasn’t necessarily a fan of the originals (too much body gore for me, thanks). But I might have to try out the new Hulu offering when it debuts in 2022.

You no doubt recognize Jamie from her work on Netflix’s “Sense8” and Showtime’s “The L Word: Generation Q.” I’ve enjoyed her character Tess, though at times it seemed like the series wasn’t entirely sure what to do with her. She’s the women scorned! She’s Shane’s true love! She’s dating Cherie Jaffe! And as wary as I am (and unfortunately too often rightfully so) at how horror tropes have treated queer women and villainized trans characters, I’m willing to sign on with the confidence that Jamie won’t let any of that nonsense scare us in the new “Hellraiser” movie. So thoughts on Jamie taking over as Pinhead? I hope she got to keep that box. Ahem.

Also, uh, are her boots CLOVEN?? Getting into character looks good on her.

Pre-L: Last Call (210)

Well here we are standing together at the end. And while I hate to be that gal, boy-howdy was I right this season. Not just about Finley’s reckoning, but all the easily telegraphed couplings this year. Oh are two people suddenly spending a lot of time together on screen? Oh, yeah, they gonna smash.

Yes, “The L Word: Generation Q” is a much more consistent and competent show than the original. The first TLW has serious borderline personality disorder, and we are all dealing with our respective PTSDs from that era. The new TLW: GQ knows what it’s doing, which makes it less surprising in both a good and a bad way.

In the end I think the biggest difference from the original and the revival is where things are for LGBTQ+ people socially and politically. In 2004, when the original show debuted, George W. Bush was president and federal marriage equality and workplace non-discrimination were nowhere in sight. In the presidential election that year neither Bush nor Kerry supported full same-sex marriage. (Though at least Kerry was against a Constitutional amendment banning it, so uh, thanks?)

Now, 17 years have passed since the original debuted. That’s a whole high school senior’s lifetime ago. For those who can still remember that far back and beyond, being out and queer (though, honestly, we didn’t universally call it queer as a norm back then because it was still a no-no word that hadn’t been fully reclaimed) was still a pretty radical thing to be. And finding a community that understood that was a critical part of our success and survival.

Queers throughout time have relied on their chosen families for support and companionship against a world that until very, very recently (six years ago for marriage equality, one year ago for workplace non-discrimination) was consistently unabashedly hostile to our very existence.

Now, at least on its surface, being openly homophobic is frowned upon. And while coming out is still an undeniably major life event, many are able to approach it with less anxiety than before because of the acceptance and hard work of LGBTQ+ activists through history. These are all good things.

But that also means that bond that tied the first show together, that hunting for something that reflected our lives, isn’t as desperate. Each on screen representation meant more because we had so few to choose from. Like, I watched everything – and I mean everything – with gay women in it back then. Now, I can’t watch it all and don’t feel the urgent pull to either. Granted, we could always use more, better and more inclusive representation. Representation will forever matter. But I think it’s perhaps a sign of progress that maybe the new TLW is less a desperate communal touchstone than the old TLW.

At this point you’re probably thinking, I came here for the hot lesbian screencaps, not some rambling essay about the fairly recent olden days. What is this, one of those recipes that makes you read their life story before telling you how many eggs to use? Yes, yes it is. This is essentially my long-winded way of saying, “You’ve come a long way, lesbians!” Let’s see how they mess everything up here in the finale just to prove me wrong.

1) It’s my party and I’ll roll my eyes if I want to.

2) When New Shane doesn’t like when you bring up Old Shane.

3) Who wears the flannel in this house?

4) So many pussy bows on this show, like, we get it costume department – they’re LESBIANS.

5) I thought everyone knew the “If You’re Naked, Don’t Answer The Phone”-rule.

6) Like the lesbians and turkey baster jokes just write themselves at this point.

7) I mean that’s generally frowned upon in court, but as judge I’ll allow it.

8) The happy-ish couple.

9) Jesus, haven’t you heard of long-distance relationships? I hear all the TikTok Lesbians are doing them.

10) Is it wrong to yell “Fight! “Fight” Fight!?

11) I regret to inform you The Straights are at it again.

12) Either their relationship has terrible timing, or you believe in karma.

13) See, I told you that was some “Mommy? Sorry. Mommy? Sorry”-shit.

14) Choices. Choices.

Well, Showtime better renew them for a Season 3 right quick, or you’re gonna have just so many pissed off queer women. Desperate cultural touchstone or not.

Pre-L: Light (207)

Well, well, well. Has the hook-up carousel from last week stopped yet? Nope, I can still hear the music. So buckle up and let’s see where the musical chairs stop this week. Hint: If you’re betting on whether folks will snog, I’d take that bet.

1) Ah, the We-Can’t-Keep-Our-Hands-(And-Other-Stuff)-Off-Each-Other Phase.

2) And then there’s the We-Can’t-Keep-Our-Hands-(And-Other-Stuff)-Off-Each-Other Phase Version 2.0

3) I truly appreciate Finley’s commitment to that one sports bra every lesbian owns.

4) Is that hot sauce a metaphor? I think that hot sauce is a metaphor.

5) When the O.G. soft/andro butch of the show has some thoughts on your suit.

6) The meta lesbian talk show host jokes, I don’t hate ‘em.

7) I did not go to prom, nor do I fully understand promposals, but – fine – that was sweet.

8) Look, I’d hate it too if Bette Porter was my fiancée’s ex.

9) Exes and currents making awkward all over the place, what is this a lesbian bar?

10) Is there a shipper name yet? Pette? Bippa? Ugh, I’m out of practice.

11) On that same note, how about Gini in Bottle? What, I said I was out of practice.

12) Beam me up, lesbians.

13) While we’re talking about lesbian bras, I have never owned one this fancy. Ever.

14) Well, I mean, if everyone’s doing it.

15) When it’s definitely not bisexual lighting - again.