Halloween Time Warp

Talk about your time warps. Sometimes it feels like the Glee years where all just an accidental mushroom-induced fever dream we all experienced together somehow. But, no, it really happened. That truly unhinged, often nonsensical, yet somehow still wildly watchable mess was real. We all watched it happen live on our televisions (pre-streaming domination, remember the must-see-TV old days). When it was fun, it was ridiculously fun. When it was bad, it was ridiculously bad. Through it all, it and fans reaction to the show, helped change the world just a little. Which, considering what an mess it was most of the time, speaks loudly to the power of show tunes and a bunch of enthusiastic and talented people singing and dancing their little damn hearts out. On this Halloween, may you channel the good, weird, truly unhinged energy of the show at its best.

My Weekend Crush

Start the week with Fleetwood Mac, end the week with Christine McVie. Her sudden passing Wednesday is a reminder that the music that moves us stays with us always. While it was easy to joke about the group’s legendary interpersonal entanglements (most of which played to the public through song, much to our eternal gratitude), McVie was a pilar in a group filled with people destined for pedestals. Her songwriting was clear, heartfelt, urgent. And while her voice may not have the witchy magic of her iconic co-worker Stevie Nicks, it had essential clarity and pop perkiness that helped Fleetwood Mac become one of the most sonically layered groups of our time, and really any time. And then of course, there were the “Glee” covers. Fleetwood Mac’s catalog played as the score to so many pivotal Brittana moments. So those on The Good Ship will never forget how McVie’s words nestled deep into our, and Brittany and Santana’s, hearts. And, like with Glee, Fleetwood Mac’s heated personal drama has faded with time. And what’s left is the music and the emotions. Songbirds only get sweeter with time. Thanks for the music, Christine. Happy weekend, all.

Music Monday: Landslide Edition

Ignore Gwyneth Paltrow and pretend her Goop-y, mall mayor supporting ass and just immerse yourself in the pathos of Santana and Brittany, Naya and Heather once more. A little emotional release after a long holiday weekend feels, well, right, Happy Monday, kittens.

Music Monday: Another Fanny

Well, well, well. In light of recent Broadway developments/life imitating art, here is Naya Rivera’s Santana Lopez auditioning to be the understudy for Lea Michelle’s Rachel Berry in “Funny Girl” in its fictional Glee-world Broadway revival. With Lea taking over for Beanie and the whole debacle of this show and this summer marking the second anniversary of Naya’s death, this hits even harder. Thanks for the music and sharing your talent. We’ll never forget you. And, truly, you woulda made a great Fanny, kiddo. Happy Monday, kittens.

Music Monday: Dance With Somebody Edition

Gosh, I loved this song when it came out. Like love, love, loveloveloved it. Like dancing around my room and singing at the top of my lungs loved it. And this was before I had any inkling that Whitney may be family – albeit very, very on the down low. But, luckily, some 25 years later we did get the gay version on “Glee.” Say what you will about thar show. And, trust me, I have. But, when Brittany and Santana danced it was very, very good. Happy Monday, kittens.

p.s. I totally forgot Quinn was in a wheelchair for a while. Oh, Glee.

My Weekend (Horror) Crush

Well, it’s officially spooky season. And I honestly can’t think of anything scarier than Will Schuester. A grown man who lives to sing and dance with children — and subjects them to his rapping? The horror, the horror. I look back at “Glee” — a show that took up so much of my pop culture headspace for so long — with a funny kind of nostalgia these days. We certainly had a time. Was some of it scary? Oh, hell yeah. Happy October, kittens. Happy weekend, all.

Music Monday: Naya Edition

Scrolling through my camera roll recently, I came upon a slew of photos from the 2011 GLAAD Media Awards in San Francisco. Hard to believe it’ll be 10 years ago this week when I actually got – if only ever so briefly – to meet and interview Naya Rivera. This year will have a lot of terrible milestones like that to remember, including what will be the first anniversary of her tragic passing last summer. It still seems hardly real that someone so talented, so filled with life, so special is gone. But it’s also good to remember that there really was a time when it felt so fun and free to be part of the S.S. Brittana. “Valerie” remains one of Naya’s signature performances. And, well, any queer gal could write a whole dissertation on that like come-here finger wag Santana gives Brittany. Happy Monday, kittens.

For All The Gay Sharks

So I wrote a little something about Naya Rivera’s enduring legacy for The Hollywood Reporter today. This one goes out to all of the #gaysharks and every fan who boarded the S.S. Brittana. Her tragic death was confirmed yesterday, and the sadness set in all over again. As Santana Lopez, Naya touched so many lives. And this moment, when she is outed before she is ready and then performs what I believe the single best mashup ever done on “Glee,” is powerful beyond words. Cory and Naya are forever intertwined because of it, and now for such unspeakably somber reasons as well. But take heart that Naya will be inspiring young and not-so-young queer women and fans forever. The woman may be gone, and we mourn her so, but make no mistake she will continue to change the world.

Read my THR guest column here: How Naya Rivera Became an Icon for the LGBTQ Community

Forever Naya

Oh, Naya. I truly don’t know what to say at the news of her probable drowning yesterday after a day boating with her 4-year-old son. It’s so unspeakably sad. As of this moment, they have transitioned from a rescue to a recovery mission. We can continue to hope, but the truth is we have likely lost someone very special.

It’s not hyperbole to say Naya helped to change the world as Santana Lopez. She definitely saved lives. While all the articles I’ve read about her tragic incident so far have made mention of her role on “Glee,” most fail to mention the importance of her character to LGBTQ youth and those not-so young across the globe.

Sure, Kurt Hummel was the immediate gay breakout star. But Santana’s journey reflected that of so many queer women, especially young women. Her love for Brittany, her realization of her sexuality, her struggle to coming out (well, outing), her happily ever after.

I have been involved in a few fandoms in my day, but the Brittana fandom remains extraordinary because it’s one of the first massive, mainstream shipping fandoms just for lesbian, bisexual and queer women where we also actually saw them realized on screen. (Yes, yes – of course Willow and Tara remain an O.G., don’t worry.)

And, what made it even more cherished is that fans essentially willed it into existence. What started as a throwaway line ended up with a wedding ceremony. The lesbian blogging community demanded Brittana happen, and it did. But that wouldn’t have happened without the support of the actresses themselves – Naya and Heather.

I had the incredibly good fortune to meet Naya, albeit briefly, at the GLAAD Media Awards in 2011. This was when Brittana was in full frenzy. She was so gracious and lovely. And, well, we all know Naya has always been a knockout.

Through it all, Naya played Santana with sass and vulnerability – a difficult combination under any circumstances, but she had to do it all while singing and dancing up an absolute storm. And her voice, well, it still cuts powerfully through space and time. Just thinking about her makes me want to rewatch all of her “Glee” performances. “Rumor Has It/Someone Like You,” “Me Against the Music,” “Valerie,” “Songbird.” Oh, God, “Songbird.”

The last thing she posted was photo of her with her young son titled, “Just the two of us.” May the world wrap him in love and peace. May her memory remind us that one person can still make a difference and touch lives they’ll never know. Life continues to be so very unfair and so terribly cruel. On days like today, it sure is hard to keep believing.



ETA: Naya's body was recovered Monday, July 13. Seven years to the day that her co-star Cory Monteith died from an accidental drug overdose. May her family and the young son she saved as her last act on this Earth find peace. Thank you, Naya. Rest in power.

Me A-Gays The Music

Hey, guess what, it’s June. Which means it’s Pride Month. So say hello to gay-splosions everywhere. Fine, I know, that sounds kinda icky. Is an LGBTQ-palooza better? Anyway, however you want to describe it, just be as gay as Brittany S. Pierce and Santana Lopez singing “Me Against the Music” together. Damn, this show could be very bad. But when this show was good, it was very, very gay. Happy Pride, all!

p.s. As sadly expected, The Hate Pumpkin did not issue a Pride Month proclamation. But then a guy does not think climate change is real, do you really think he believes queer people are real and deserving of celebration? Well fuck 'em, Cheetos can't dance for shit anyway.

All She Wants To Do Is Dance, Dance, Dance

http://jerseyless.tumblr.com/post/130640475705/theperksofbeingagleek-hold-it-against-me

You guys, I hate to even admit this. But sometimes I intensely miss “Glee.” Not necessarily the “Glee” that became “Glee.” But the “Glee” before it was totally “Glee.” You know, the potential of “Glee.” I’ve now said “Glee” approximately 2,017 times in span of less than four sentences, for which I deeply apologize. It is in no way my intent to bring up any post-“Glee” traumatic stress disorders (PGTST, for short). In summation, what I think I’m really trying to say is, damn, I miss Heather Morris dancing. I miss it a lot.

My Weekend Crush

It’s funny, I actually feel a little sad. Not about life, in general – though there’s always plenty to be bummed about on the daily. Get it together, world. But mostly just about the series finale of “Glee” tonight. I haven’t decided if I’m going to watch it live. Mostly this is because I haven’t watched all but a couple select episodes this whole season (you know the ones *cough, Brittana, cough*). But what I will mourn if the possibility and hope of “Glee.” Have no doubt this is a show that did something extraordinary during its run. This is a show that helps to define the generational gap between old-school homophobia and new-era acceptance.

This isn’t to say that we’ve solved LGBT bigotry in America because of a TV show about high school kids (and now high school graduates who inexplicably keep returning to high school) who sing and dance in unison. But it’s pretty extraordinary to think where we’ve come. I can remember the days Ellen DeGeneres’ totally tame sitcom ran with a parental advisory before it because the lead character dared to be a gay to now when young people and their families sat down together to root for the gay kids to stop getting thrown into a dumpster together.

Change comes slowly, but also sometimes breathtakingly quickly. So much has changed since 2009, when “Glee” debuted in terms of LGBT rights and LGBT acceptance. We’ve crossed the threshold where back during Obama’s first presidential election it was perfectly acceptable for my across-the-street neighbors to plant a “Yes on 8” sign in their yards proudly. Now, such public displays of bigotry simply would not fly. Sure, they may still feel it. But would they say it out in the open like that without fear of ridicule and scorn? I kinda don’t think so.

Now, that isn’t all because of “Glee,” of course. So much has shifted in conventional wisdom because of the tenacious and tireless work of LGBT advocates. But it certainly helped that for a time one of the most popular and talked-about shows on television had not qualms about being out and proud and gay as freaking hell.

We can go on and on and on – and I most certainly have – about all of the show’s shortcomings. Dear sweet fanciful Cheerio shirt, was it not perfect. But I have to say, overall, as a phenomenon in our culture it did so much more good than harm. Sure, it squandered a lot of opportunities to do more and be better. But, in the end, I’m happy were able to be part of it – however long we stayed. Because it never hurts to have a show that unapologetically reminds us to “Don’t Stop Believin’.” Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Also, there is always the music. That first “Don’t Stop Believin’” still gives me chills.

I Brittana You

Fine, “Glee,” fine. You made me watch the big wedding. It was uneven and unrealistic, but that’s pretty much “Glee” in a nutshell. But the Brittana bits, fine, they got me, fine. They got me not necessarily because of the poignancy of the actual moment. That was ruined by having Kurt and Blaine horn in on Brittana’s big day. Seriously, how can a show this freaking gay not take the time to make two episodes dedicated to two different, independent same-sex weddings for its two different, independent same-sex couples? Also, Kurt’s jacket was otherworldly awful. It was blue shiny camo. BLUE. SHINY. CAMO.

But, now I’ve veered off the point. And the point was the episode didn’t necessarily get me on its scripted poignancy. Sure, there were nice moments between Brittany and Santana – lovely even. But what got me was what watching something like this can mean for fans who have stuck with this coupling. Yes, this was pure, unabashed fandom service. But, hey, this fandom has been through a lot – they deserve it. What I like that – unless Ryan Murphy & Co. royally fuck this thing up in the final five episodes – lesbian viewers will have another happy ending.

This sort of thing is still important. Do all of our stories have to be happy, of course not. But there need to be enough happy endings to allow us to dream of our own. So, thanks for that. Thanks for all the pinky holds and scissoring talk and the Lebanese goodness. Thank you to Naya Rivera and Heather Morris. Thank you for Brittany and Santana. Now ride off into the sunset, you two. From background characters to forever OTP. You made it, ladies. You made it.

Will You Brittana Me?

Yes, the Birttana proposal happened. Yes, it was kinda sweet. Yes, they’re endgame. But what I really want to talk about his how Glee finally addressed its most important and ignored issue - Kurt’s toothless baby mouth. I mean, I love the guy and all, but for six seasons every time he opened his mouth to sing all I saw was the cavernous maw of a newborn. This epic burn monologue almost makes me happy to be watching “Glee” again. Almost.

http://rampagebb.tumblr.com/post/108315898233/santana-slaying-and-telling-k-urt-how-it-is

Look, I’m past caring about “Glee” in anything more than a nostalgic, head-shaking sense. But after skimming the first three episodes I have to say they’re not totally terrible. Granted it is totally terrible storytelling that a bunch of college dropouts should be hired on the spot to become teachers and coaches without credentials or experience or anything but pretty smiles and pretty voices. But, fine, I’ll suspend the laws of physics and disbelief and pretend that they’re all gainfully employed at accredited institutions to lead and instruct our nation’s youth. Watching this show requires the removal of at least one lobe of the brain already.

Aside from all of that, the big Brittana proposal episode last week actually had a few delicate touches and lovely recalls. Them saying they love each other to infinity. Them snuggling on the bed talking about scissoring. It was nice, OK, it was NICE.

While I still don’t trust Ryan Murphy with lesbian (and really any female character) storylines as far as I can throw a gay shark, I am happy the writers appear to be finally giving fandom with what they deserve. (p.s. Don’t worry, Klainers, I have no doubt your endgame is coming, too. Not a spoiler, just a hunch.) Fans of these characters have suffered long enough. Wrap it up and just make the people who cared so very much about these kids who sang and danced in the middle of class for no reason whatsoever happy.

p.s. Who was that little lesbian who came out of nowhere to hand Santana the ring? Or does Snix just bring her minions with her everywhere she goes?

p.p.s. I did not think the Coach Beiste trans storyline was totally terrible either. I sincerely hope they do something real with it moving forward and not just let it disappear like all those Glee Version 2.0 kids they brought in two seasons ago never to be heard from again.

Vacation Vixen: Naya Rivera

So “Glee” returns for its sixth and final season today. I come at this news with a mixture of ambivalence and nostalgia. I feel nostalgic for the characters I enjoyed what seemed like forever ago. And ambivalent because of that forever ago that I seemed to enjoy these characters. Still, it was sad to see Naya Rivera post about her last day as Santana last month. Walk off into that sunset, little Cheerio. It was nice knowing you.

Endgame

OK, OK – FINE! I relent. I relent. I’ll talk about it. It’s HAPPENING. Santana and Brittany are totally getting married*. Yesterday’ Naya Rivera Dorsey (still so not used to that last bit) sent out a tweet heard around the Brittanaverse.

Popping a very important question today at glee! ;-)

— Naya Rivera Dorsey (@NayaRivera) October 6, 2014

*No, I’m not including a spoiler alert because once one of your stars posts it for all the world to see, there’s nothing left to spoil.

Rumors have been swirling for a while now about the pending proposal. The fires had been fanned even more by reunion pics of Santana and Brittany awkwardly pretending they’re still n lesbian with each other puckering up together. Just kidding. They look great! Look, their lips are thisclose to touching. Honest!

I’ve divested myself of my Glee fandom long ago. I can’t even tell you if I watched the last few episodes of the last season because I can’t be bothered to care. It’s all just an epic shrug to me now. So I had heard rumblings of all the final season news – going back to Ohio, Britt and San reunion, etc. etc. But I didn’t follow it closely because, you know, it’s Glee – who the fuck knows what’s actually going to happen.

Does this mean I have to care again? Not really. Will I watch it? Yeah, probably – for the Brittana. While I’m no longer invested in these characters futures, I do feel a sentimental attachment to their pasts. So I rather like the idea of circling back and giving them a proper ending. Endgame, kittens, endgame. So, fine, you got me – one last time. Fate has laid a hand, indeed.

Et tu, Kurt

So this morning there was brief pseudo-panic when it appeared Chris Colfer has been fired from Glee.

Wut? RT @chriscolfer Due to personal issues, I have been let go from the cast of GLEE. Explanations will come shortly...

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) July 3, 2014

And then we all knew who to blame.

As with everything else in life, I blame Ryan Murphy.

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) July 3, 2014

And then he wasn’t fired from Glee.

Wut, wut? @THR: UPDATED: Chris Colfer's Manager: He's Not Leaving 'Glee' http://t.co/iZu84jxKC1

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) July 3, 2014

And then we all went back to not caring about Glee.

Oh, so this has been an elaborate scheme to get gays to care about Glee again. Got it.

— Dorothy Snarker (@dorothysnarker) July 3, 2014

In the end, Chris Colfer’s Twitter “hack” only served as a reminder how spectacularly “Glee” has slide into irrelevance. If this had happened even three years ago, there probably would have been an online riot demanding answers and decrying the potentially homophobic undertones of the hack and forming a protective worship bubble around Colfer. As it, it’s barely a blip on our radars. If you were off Twitter this morning, you missed it entirely.

I’ve talked about my steady, but inevitable descent into DGAF status with this show. It’s sad, considering how truly powerful it once was a place for the outcasts among us to find a reason to sing. But five years is a long time and the shifting world we live in has shifted right past the relevancy of jazz hand empowerment. Also, um, you can’t sustain a show without sustaining its characters. To care about it we have to care about them. (Remember all those now non-existent Glee Version 2.0 kids? Yeah, neither do I.)

So, in the end, Kurt isn’t really gone. But the Kurt that really mattered left a long time ago anyway.

p.s. Totally off topic, but is anyone else continually freaked out by Chris Colfer’s baby mouth singing face? Why can’t we see his teeth? Does he only eat pureed foods? Whew, glad I got that off my chest.

Endgame. Endgame. Endgame.

Fine, you win, “Glee.” I will watch for endgame. I will watch because of Brittana. I will watch to see their endgame. Are you happy now? ARE YOU HAPPY? Damn you.



p.s. I reserve the right to change my mind if the so-called endgame sucks, per usual.

Team Snarker 4 Eva

Apologies! I know I said I’d stop talking about moving, but moving won’t stop talking about me. Right after we thoroughly buffed and polished the old house (and two days before handing over the keys), someone busted a window and broke in. So I’ve been dealing with that mess since. Hence the lack of a post yesterday. Luckily, everything (and everyone) was in the new house at the time. But, still, it sucks. Blerg and such.

Anyway, on to more important things. More important things like fictional characters fighting to the death. Or, as its is more formally known, the AfterEllen March Madness: The Hunger Games.

That’s right, it’s a fight to the death between your favorite lesbian, bisexual and totally gaymo characters. And, true to Hunger Games lore, each character has a mentor. So 10 of your favorite AfterEllen writers are all mentoring a team of your favorite characters. I could be gracious and wish everyone well. But screw that. May the odds be ever in Lauren Lewis, Alex Vause, Bette Porter and Brittany S. Pierce’s favor. Winners of various bonus rounds will receive special prizes, powers, etc. What does all this mean? Flex your voting finger. You can vote once an hour.

Obviously, I want Team Snarker to win. But mostly I just want you all to have fun with it. It’s all about having fun and supporting some of the most beloved past and current characters in the Big Lesbo (and Bi) Character Pantheon. So go crazy. And bring weapons.

VOTE HERE IN THE BIG GAY HUNGER GAMES.

#TeamSnarker

Moving Vixen: Brittana

DAMMIT, GLEE. Now I am going to have to watch next week's episode, too, to see what those lesbian lilies are all about.

p.s. Though any real lesbian knows they mean I dare you to love me.