All Hail Hayley

I’ve decided Hayley Atwell is an utter delight. We knew this already, but every once in a while it’s good to reconfirm and reaffirm basic truths. The British actress is particularly delightful on twitter. How delightful? So delightful she follows through months later on her tweets. Like when she told fans in December that she had to rush off the “Agent Carter” set in full costume, makeup, wig, harness and Spanx to get to the DMV. Funny in and of itself, yes? But then here it is four months later and Hayley proves her words. Peggy has a license to drive.

Well this is surreal. Have to rush to the DMV and I'm wearing full Peggy gear and harness and wig.

— Hayley Atwell (@HayleyAtwell) December 13, 2014

So I told people I had to go to the dmv dressed as Peg. Wearing a harness, mic and Spanx. Anyone wanna see the pic?

— Hayley Atwell (@HayleyAtwell) April 27, 2015

Here it is pic.twitter.com/VikqjtISdR

— Hayley Atwell (@HayleyAtwell) April 27, 2015

Delightful, right?

And then over the weekend she posted these tweets.

Captain America is playing in the airport Lounge. I'm hiding behind my plate of sandwiches.

— Hayley Atwell (@HayleyAtwell) April 27, 2015

Can you imagine if I just stood up right now and was all, 'ladies and gentlemen, it is I..'

— Hayley Atwell (@HayleyAtwell) April 27, 2015

Look, they couldn't care less.. pic.twitter.com/Pnnrgjenen

— Hayley Atwell (@HayleyAtwell) April 27, 2015

Come on, that’s so damn delightful.

And for all those Peggy/Angie shippers, there’s also this.

@alianovnas I hope so

— Hayley Atwell (@HayleyAtwell) April 27, 2015

I’m nearly dying of delight.

But then, what do you expect from a woman who retweets a photo of herself like this?

What a dish!!! @HayleyAtwell pic.twitter.com/O1hiFXVdvg

— Evan Jones (@Evan_keepup) April 28, 2015

All of these came within the last five days. FIVE DAYS OF DELIGHT. Yep, she’s a keeper. And I’m her happy follower.

Singing the Blues

So, how about a salve for all the complaints about Hollywood this week, eh? And it comes in the form of the newest trailer for “Bessie.” Damn, I’m pretty excited about this. I really, really am. A diverse cast. Juicy roles for women. Exploration of sexuality. But that’s what you get when you make movies about underrepresented populations. And that’s also what you get when you allow talented women, people of color and out directors like Dee Rees (of “Pariah” fame) to helm a project. More of this, Hollywood, more of this.

Aloha, White People

I am going to pick on a movie trailer because I feel like it. I am going to pick on a movie trailer because it has something in common with so many other movie trailers. I am going to pick on a movie trailer because, like so many other movie trailers and the movies they represent, it deserves to be picked on.

Hey, “Aloha” trailer,” what’s up with all the white people? Now, I am not stupid. I am well aware of the ratio of white lead actors to nonwhite lead actors in major motion pictures today. I am not somehow deluded into thinking this sort of complete white-out is new or in any way unexpected. And, who knows, this movie might even be good. But, Jesus. That’s a lot of white people. And that’s a fuckton of white people for a movie set in Hawaii. It’s actually a lot of white people for a movie set anywhere. But, especiall for one in Hawaii. I mean, come on.

The population of Hawaii is more than 75 percent not solely white. Some 48 percent of its people are Asian or Pacific Islander. Only 24.7 percent of the state is in fact white. Yet in “Aloha,” 100 percent of the named cast is white. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT.

Let’s break it down by order of appearance.

Alec Baldwin: White guy.


Bradley Cooper: White guy.


Danny McBride: White guy.


Bill Murray: White guy.


Emma Stone: White gal.


Rachel McAdams: White gal.


John Krasinski: White guy.


But, hey, the good news is there’s a joke about the way a black guy wears a clock. Black culture is funny, yes? So, for those keeping score, of the seven principal lead roles that’s 7 white folk, zero people of color. But wait, look, is that a possibly Polynesian girl teaching a white woman how to do an indigenous Island dance? Diversity! I should probably stop complaining.



Just kidding, I’ll never stop complaining. And while I’m at it, there’s also the issue of this having only two speaking parts for women out of seven. Also those two parts for women appear to be as the love interest for a man. So, you know, there’s also that.

I guess the most irksome thing is how this film is in fact not extraordinary in its whiteness. (And, while we’re on the subject, pretty much all of Cameron Crowe’s films are big white parties aside for maybe a very small handful of roles for people of color – most notably Cuba Gooding Jr.’s football star in “Jerry Maguire.”) The thing is, I like all of these actors. I really do. And I like Cameron Crowe – “Say Anything” is one of my favorite films of all time. And I like a lot of movies and TV shows that have predominantly white casts. But there comes a point where you can’t ignore the more problematic representational elements of an industry you enjoy so much. I love the movies, and always have, but it’s apparently clear that as a person of color mainstream films simply don’t love me – or showing people like me – back at all.

Last Picture Show

Hey, so I wrote about the pathetic lack of lesbian and bisexual roles for actresses in my latest Woman and Hollywood column. (Click on over, read, enjoy, comment.) It’s so appalling that only two films featured lesbian characters and five featured bisexual characters – out of 114 major studio releases. The irony of this is that most of us who are old enough to buy beer legally saw our first glimpses of ourselves on screen thanks to films. Granted, they were small independent films that for the most part only other lesbian and bisexual women know, love and can recite by heart. But today, young LGBT folks are much more likely to see themselves on television. And they’re much more likely to see a more accurate depiction of themselves on television. Way to get eclipsed by your upstart little sibling, movies.

While I applaud the great gains the not-so idiot box has taken in recent years, I’m perplex at the lack of progress in film. Actually, that’s a lie. Of the top-grossing films of last year only 30 percent of the speaking roles went to women. And only 12 percent of those film had a female protagonist. Yep, that means 88 percent of the films featured male protagonists. And don’t get me started on the lack of diversity in movies. Really don’t get me started. I will Feminist Hulk Smash all over the place.

Right, where was I? Oh, yeah. Movies need to step the fuck up. Stop being such a wanker, Hollywood.

My Weekend Crush

You guys. I know I already posted about Amy Schumer this week. But you know what, fuck it, it’s my site and I’ll be repetitive if I want to. And, you know what else, Amy deserves another post for giving us hands down one of the most feminist comedy sketches in recent history. Naturally, it co-stars some of the most feminist actresses in Hollywood – Tina Fey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Patricia Arquette. Please, allow these ladies to explain the “Last Fuckable Day” to you. I mean it, seriously, you should really watch.



The entire premiere episode of “Inside Amy Schumer” this week was filled with unabashedly feminist humor. Besides this takedown of sexist Hollywood attractiveness standards, the show also full-body tackled of rape culture with a “Friday Night Lights” parody. I mean it. I’m almost begging. You should be watching this show.



Would it help if I told you Amy is practically BFFs with Tilda Swinton. Yes, Tilda FUCKING Swinton. Oh, you think I’m kidding. Tilda stars in Amy’s new film “Trainwreck” and they’ve formed a mutual admiration society. Amy introduced Tilda at the Gotham Independent Film Awards last December. And Tilda waxed poetic about Amy for the Time 100. No, I mean it. SHE WROTE A FUCKING POEM FOR AMY. And in it, in part, she wrote, “She’s an honesty bomb. And she’s coming for you.” Yep, exactly. Happy weekend, all.

Mother of Bad Decisions

While we are on the subject of people undergoing dramatic character shifts this season, can we take a moment to discuss Daenerys? This season she’s more like Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, Mother of Dragons AND Bad Decision Machine, amirite? Looks, we all knew last season that locking up her beloved dracarys would be a very, very bad plan. A dragon is not a slave, remember? But now my favorite albino-haired claimant to the Iron Throne is having a hell of a time of it. (p.s. No, I have not read the books. Yes, I am aware all kind of shit is going to happen. No, please don’t spoil it for me.)



I guess this falls under the “Conquering Is Easy, Ruling Is Hard” life lessons. We all knew it would be difficult. But in a show that has made its female characters struggle and endure so (though, to be fair, it’s been fairly shitty to the men folk, too), it’s kind of crushing to watch this particular stumble. Or maybe I’m just upset for the dragons. Like I want to foster them for her for a bit and tell them it’s OK and that their mama is coming back for them, I promise. Yes, leave it to the lesbian to want to adopt the poor, stray dragons.



I guess the only good things about this particular predicament is my eager anticipation for the moment when Daenerys gets her shit back together and has another, epic drop the mic (or whip, as it was) moment. Thought, this being “Game of Thrones,” that’ll probably be like 30 beheadings, a dozen skull crushings, 10 burnings alive and three smoke baby monsters from now. Damn, show. The things you make us go through.

p.s. What does it say about me that I’m actually starting to like Cersei Lannister more as the seasons wear on? Wait, don’t answer that.

Delphine? More like Delfine!

Can we talk about the Season 3 “Orphan Black” premiere? No, wait, that’s a lie. I only sort of want to talk about the Season 3 “Orphan Black” premiere. I mostly want to talk about Delphine. There is no other character on “Orphan Black” right now that I am more simultaneously scared of and turned on by than Delphine. This new, straight-haired, no-nonsense, socket-squishing Delphine is quite something. I know some are calling her “Mean Delphine,” but she is so much more than that. She has become perhaps the clones’ most fierce protector. And as such she appears to be willing and capable of doing whatever is necessary to protect the, all of them. In short, you don’t fuck with her. Goodbye old Delphine, hello Boss Ass Bitch Delphine.



I actually greatly enjoy this new development, and not just because strong, badass women are sexy. It’s because since the start Delphine’s true motivations have been a little suspect. I’ve never doubted her love and connection with Cosima – that always felt real. But I’ve wondered what her end game really was. Was she in it for Dyad? For science? For herself? Now the answer appears to be evident: She was in it for the clones and one clone in particular, Cosima. But as the song goes, “If you love someone, set them free…” So to truly love and protect Cosima she had to let Cosima go. So as Dyad’s new Rachel, she does just that. Oh, cruel fate. You heart-crushing bastard.



So while I still dislike the boy clones (way to make them completely indistinct from each other aside for wispy facial hair and/or scars, show) and the increasingly convoluted layers of conspiracy (First Dyad now Topside, oy, if this thing ends with Overlord Xenu I’m going to be pissed), I do like this new clearly focused Delphine. Granted, she scares the shit out of me. But I respect the hell out of her, too. And, you know, she can get it anytime. Anytime at all.

Fudge Machine

Amy Schumer belongs to what I like to call the Amy Poehler School of Comedy. For those unfamiliar with this particular comedic genre, it follows the simple yet profound mantra: "I don't fucking care if you like it.” It’s not about being cute or acceptable or cool. It’s about being fucking funny about whatever the fuck she wants. Some folks find her a little crude. But so what? Dude comics get called all the time, with pride. All I know is that I laugh my ass off at almost everything she does in “Inside Amy Schumer.” So I couldn’t be happier about it coming back tonight. And this video? Let’s just say I’ve been singing “This is where the poo comes out” under my breath at work all week.

Naked Lady Monday

You know, I haven’t always been the biggest fan of the annual Allure Naked Truth issue. Nothing against naked ladies, obviously. But the images tend to be too Photoshopped and artificial for my taste. If you really want to celebrate truthful female beauty, let some of our so-called flaws show. Otherise it’s just a cheesecake naked photo, you know. As such I tend to prefer the ESPN Body Issue, especially when it showcases the athletes actually doing the athletic feats they’re famous for. But this year’s nude feature is pretty exceptional. It’s not necessarily because actresses I like including “Sleepy Hollow” star Nicole Beharie, “The L Word” alum Sandrine Holt and continual “D.E.B.S.” crush Jordana Brewster are featured. It’s that Laverne Cox is featured. And that, friends, is a big fucking deal. Celebration of beauty in the transgender community is far too often something that has to be taken, instead of given freely. Our rigid, all-too-narrow standards leave out anyone who (as the New York Times would put it) is “less classically beautiful” than the ideal norm. That norm, of course, leaves out most of us. So then to have a black transgender woman be selected to appear in the Allure Naked issue matters. And that’s exactly why Laverne did it:

“I said no initially, thought about it, and said no again. But I’m a black transgender woman. I felt this could be really powerful for the communities that I represent. Black women are not often told that we’re beautiful unless we align with certain standards. Trans women certainly are not told we’re beautiful. Seeing a black transgender woman embracing and loving everything about herself might be inspiring to some other folks. There’s beauty in the things we think are imperfect. That sounds very cliché, but it’s true.”

Now that, that’s beautiful.

My Weekend Crush

A video posted by Orphan Black (@orphanblacktv) on Apr 13, 2015 at 10:22am PDT

So “Orphan Black” is back and I am of course excited. For two seasons now it has been one of the most thrilling shows complete with one of the most exhilarating performances by an actress I’ve seen on TV. But here’s the thing, I’m really not really thrilled about Project Castor. The twist of male clones to me is kind of, well, disappointing. It’s not that I think they’ll do a bad job with the storyline. Or that I think they’ve picked a bad actor to portray the boy clones. But it’s just that from its start “Orphan Black” has been about the struggle for female agency. It’s about these women taking their lives back from the unseen forces attempting to monitor, control and modify them. It’s been about these women, these fascinating women. And now it’s about these women and these guys. Call me grumpy, but I don’t want to share.

Yet, I’m still open-minded. I love this show enough to trust they’ll do a good job with these new characters and do good by these women we know and love. Plus the promos, particularly the “You Don’t Own Me” nature of the campaign, highlights and magnifies the show’s central theme of agency. So I have faith they won’t squander the good thing they’ve got going with this story and their force of nature of a star. In Tatiana Maslany we trust. Happy “Orphan Black” weekend, all.

Women of a Certain...

Look, I’m naturally going to be interested any show with two female leads. I’m naturally going to be interested in a show with Lily Tomlin as one of those female leads. And, you know, Jane Fonda is no slouch either. So when I heard about the new Netflix series “Grace & Frankie” I was thrilled. Like, seriously, how fun. And then there was the LGBT aspect with the husbands of Grace (that’s Jane) and Frankie (that’s Lily) coming out as gay and in love with each other (they’re played by Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston, respectively).

And the trailer looks fun, too. Like a Nora Ephron turned into a full-length series. I mean, who doesn’t want to watch Lily and Jane rib each other. The only way it could be better is if these two ladies fell in love, too. Late-in-life coming outs for everyone!



While normally I would be a little cranky about a show as unabashedly about rich white folks as “Grace & Frankie” seems to be, I think given the other unprecedented nature of this series I can cut it some slack. I really can’t think of another TV show centered around septuagenarian women. Can you? Women of a certain age so very rarely get the spotlight. “The Golden Girls” was about a group of women in their 60s (in fact Estelle Getty’s Sophia was actually a year younger than her “daughter” Bea Arthur). “Hot in Cleveland” is mostly about women in their 50s and 60s – and Betty White, bless her heart. So a show about two broads in their 70s, yeah, that makes me pretty happy.

This is the beauty of choice. Subscription streaming services like Netflix and Hulu – and the expansion of cable offerings – have helped broadened the field. We can have shows about women of all ages and colors in prison, a trans parent and her adult children, a doomsday cult survivor and her new actor, dancer, homosexual roommate. I could go on. And that makes me very, very happy.

Trailer Watch: True & Dark

So late last week two new trailers for two new shows were released. One was for the second season of the anthological drama “True Detective” on HBO. The other was for the new graphic novel-based series “Dark Matter” on Syfy. They couldn’t be more different. One is sci-fi, one is crime drama. But each one of them interested me for only one reason and one reason alone. Can you guess the reasons for each? Yep, you guessed it. A lady being a badass.

Let’s start with “True Detective.” I didn’t watch the first season because I’d heard all about its celebration of white male misogyny and I just don’t have time to invest in that sort of bullshit, no matter how good the acting and beautiful the cinematography. I just do.not.care. So I wasn’t expecting much from the trailer and for 99.9 percent of it met my exact expectations. Grim-looking white guy. Grim-looking white guy. Grim-looking white guy. And then, all of a sudden, hellooooo, Rachel Mcadams.



Yes, sometimes all it takes is a badass-looking lady walking purposely with a gun in her hand to pique my interest.

So then let’s move to “Dark Matter.” This is based on a graphic novel and set on board a spacecraft where it passengers wake with no memory of their past lives. While the story sounds interesting enough, I really only care because Zoie Palmer. She plays the ship’s Android. So I watched the whole trailer playing “Where’s Zoie?” And then, BOOM. Fuck. Yeah.



Yes, sometimes all it takes is a badass-looking woman walking purposely with a lead pipe in her hand to pique my interest.

Is it shallow to reduce two trailers to their two most important screencaps? Maybe. But sometimes all you need is just that one frame. So, which seemed most promising to you? Admit it, all you cared about was Rachel and Zoie, too.

Tank Top Tuesday: Wrecking Ball Edition

Do believe the hype. Do. If you have not watched the Anne Hathaway vs. Emily Blunt “Lip Sync Battle” episode, run – do not walk – to your television. It is one of the most fun half hours of television you will watch this year. The show is just a joy. I mean, if your heart isn’t filled with indescribable happiness while watching the full video of Anne Hathaway sing “Wrecking Ball” in a tank top and tightie whities then I highly doubt your ability to feel glee. This is my new go-to video to watch when I need a little pick me up. How can the world possibly be all terrible when this is happening? It can’t, that’s how. Yep, this is what happens when high school drama nerds really, really go for it as adults, folks. Happy Tuesday, universe.

http://dorothy-snarker.tumblr.com/post/116358533910/source-kaoxintouch

So Ready

It should go without saying that I am 100-fucking-percent ready for Hillary. I supported her candidacy in 2008. I supported her as Secretary of State. I support her now. I think she’ll make an amazing president. I am thrilled beyond belief that I’ll get to vote for her again. Yes, she has her haters. Actually I feel sorry for them because if they put even half the time, effort and determination they put into hating her just think of all the good things they could actually accomplish in the world. Right, but enough about them. It’s a Hillary party and you’re all invited. Hello, Madam President. You are damn right I am ready.



p.s. I am still trying to figure out how I feel about the H-arrow. I will say, it is bold. I will say that.

My Weekend Orange Crush

So if you’re a gay lady and were anywhere near the Internet yesterday you probably already watched the new “Orange Is the New Black” Season 3 trailer like 3,000 times – possibly more. You’ve also probably already made your food delivery order plans for June 12. But, hey, that’s still a long-ass way away (56 days and counting, yo) let’s go ahead and dissect everything we can from this first trailer. If we can process and argument about doing the dishes for a day and a half, we can certainly spare 15 minutes for this. Happy weekend, all.



1) They Got The Band Back Together

Taystee, Poussey & Black Cindy look thick as thieves again. Not that I’m saying they’re all thieves. Wait, wasn’t that what Black Cindy is in for? Anyway, metaphor withdrawn. I’m just happy they look so happy together again.

2) Big No

Oh, Big Boo. What? Butch down, BUTCH DOWN.

3) Major Headlights

You know you want to know exactly what Flaca told Maritza that made those nips stand at attention.

4) Turnabout Is Fair…

Yeah, Alex, we know how you’re back here. We know exactly how. Though, I am curious how she got that shiner.

5) Once Upon a Mattress

Hey, what happened to their mattresses?

6) A Rose is a Flirt

Look, I’m as much Pipex/Vauseman as the next gay gal, but I also approve of this Ruby Rose flirting. I approve very much.

7) Where’s the Beef?

Dammit, are Gloria and Sophia fighting? Can’t we all just get along?

8) Big Tucky? Pennsaboo?

I approve of this Big Boo/ Pennsatucky friendship. I really, really do.

9) Give Peace a Chance

Aw, man, Tank Girl and Piper are fighting, too?

10) Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry for Hitting it With Two Other People and Aliens

Oh, Crazy Eyes, how I’ve missed you so.

BONUS: Man, after watching “Going Clear” I’m even less OK with Scientology, but damn, if Laura Prepon isn’t still on my “Free Pass” list. I can’t help it. Alex Vause can get it.



p.s. Yo, is that Vee in the background of No. 6? I was such a lesbian I did not notice because, you know, Ruby Rose.

Map to Frances

As I get older – and believe you me, it’s happening fast – I fret like everyone else about the aging process. More gray. More lines. More creeks when I stand up after a prolonged period of sitting still. You know, the whole deal. And as a woman in this society I’m also acutely aware of the pressure to continue looking forever 21. Given that, it’s unfair to pass summary judgment on women who give in to the relentless drumbeat for agelessness. How can you not when every single indicator in our society tells us youth is all that matters? But it’s also important to laud those to resist the temptation to tamper with our essential humanity. Life is just a continual process of getting older until the second we stop getting older altogether. That’s not being nihilistic, just honest about a process we all go through.

While it doesn’t baffle me how hard we fight it – because, duh, we all fear the end – it does perplex me why we don’t embrace all the good things our advancing years can represent. Wisdom. Love. Experience. Compassion. Look, babies are cute and all, but they don’t know shit. Same goes for most young adults. Yet somehow the most desirable human state is exactly that age. Yeah, yeah, I know about biological imperative and survival of the fittest and optimum child bearing ages and all that. But it’s 2015 and we have watches that send texts and phones that play movies. We’ve clearly evolved. Wouldn’t it be nice if our thinking about beauty did as well?

Right, so this is clearly a long-winded, rambling way for me to introduce this video of Frances McDormand taking about the aging process. I’ve always admired Frances and found her work to have a particular fearlessness about it. There’s an honesty and intelligence and intolerance for bullshit she imbues into every role. I’ve also always found her rather sexy, in an I-don’t-give-a-fuck-what-you-think kind of way. And I still do now that she is 57 – gray hair, wrinkles, the whole deal. But then, I find a life well lived looks good on anyone.

Say What You Want To Say

http://dorothy-snarker.tumblr.com/post/115834408730/source-pro-gay

Great use of this song or greatest use of this song?

More, More, More

So, you know how I’m an enormous lezzie, right? Well if you’ve been here any length of time you also know I’m an enormous feminist. I think the two go hand-in-hand, actually. The thought of separating myself into identity compartments that never overlap or interplay is ludicrous. Anyway, you know this already of course because it’s the same for you. That’s why we’re all here hanging out in the first place.

So given that context it gives me great pleasure to announce that I’ve started writing for Indiewire’s fantastic Women and Hollywood, run by the tireless Melissa Silverstein. I’ll be their queer columnist and write a couple times a month for the site.

Don’t worry, I’m still going to be writing and recapping for AfterEllen. And I’m still gonna keep typing up my brain rambles here of course.

I’d appreciate it greatly if you’d hop over to Women and Hollywood and take a look (and leave a comment if so inclined) at my first column. In it I tackle the essential lesbian entertainment question: “Do we need another ‘L Word?’” A sampling:

The urgency to see ourselves reflected on the TV screen isn’t as great because we’re already there. Sure, we may not be there en masse in one show, but we’re on so many others we are no longer so desperate we’ll drink the sand. And, just as crucially, the diversity of lesbian and bisexual female characters has increased.

You can read the whole thing here. Thanks, as always, for stopping by and reading the crazy things that go through my head.

As a further thanks, here’s Anne Hathaway singing “Wrecking Ball” to Emily Blunt. First the grinding. Now this. I just, I just think we live in such wondrous times.

Happy to Be Here

So I believe in giving things a fair shot. Even things that at first may seem like things that I won’t, you know, like. Sometimes my first impression is reaffirmed, sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised. When I first heard about “One Big Happy” I was, duh, happy. Liz Feldman and Ellen DeGeneres teaming up to make a sitcom with a lesbian lead? So much happy. Sure, it was about a lesbian and her straight male best friend. Sure, the lesbian was pregnant. But, you know, still – she was a lesbian. Sometimes that can be enough.

Then I saw the previews which were…a little weak. First, it is a multi-camera show with a laugh track which makes it feel a little dated. Second, there was too much of the straight male dude making boobie-grabbing hand gestures. Third, have I mentioned how much I dislike laugh tracks?

But I was determined to give it a chance because I think Liz is incredibly talented and very funny and also who doesn’t want to support an out lesbian show creator? Also there’s the Ellen component and I believe they take away your toaster oven if you don’t support The Great Panted One.

So I watched the pilot. And it was…a pilot. Pilots, particularly comedy pilots, have a very tough job. They have to introduce the characters and set a tone and bring some laughs and make us want more all in 22 very short minutes. I can’t say “One Big Happy” won me over with its first episode. I thought it was sort of meh. Not great, but also not the worst thing I’ve watched. Though, to be honest, if I didn’t know Liz was behind it and I didn’t want a sitcom with a lesbian lead to succeed on network TV, I might have stopped watching right there and then.

But I stuck with it. And the second episode was better. The characters felt more real and less like words on a page repeated enthusiastically. The comedy, while still broad, hit with more consistency. And then last week, I watched again and I laughed, like I really laughed. It brought a couple genuine belly laughs and they felt good. It’s not perfect yet, obviously. But I can see a rhythm developing that is encouraging and I am happy I get to watch it again.

The stars are likeable – particularly the always comically winsome Elisha Cuthbert and the very bubbly Kelly Brook. Granted, I always feel like Nick Zano is struggling to enunciate with a glob of peanut butter stuck to the root of his mouth, but it doesn’t take away from the emerging chemistry between the three (no, not like that, quit it, you).

Here’s the thing, “One Big Happy” is extraordinary for its ordinariness. It’s not edgy even though it has that most rare of television unicorns, a lesbian protagonist. It’s aimed right down the center, down to its CBS-worthy multi-camera format. It’s saying, “Hey, you on the couch, you like big, friendly comedies that make you feel comfortable and smile and maybe even do a little of the laughing for you? Come, sit, enjoy.”

This is not an insult; this is an observation. “The Big Bang Theory,” “Two and A Half Men,” and “Everybody Loves Raymond” are/were all shows that basically follow that formula and are/were hugely, hugely popular. That a show about a single pregnant lesbian and her male best friend/baby daddy who has unexpectedly married a large-bosomed English woman he just met is following that path is in a way very encouraging. This is not niche programming, this is as mainstream as comedies get. It’s basically “Three’s Company” but with more interesting – and honest – sexual politics.

And that’s where, and how, “One Big Happy” could do so much good. It’s not trying to be one of those shows critics adore with a teeny-tiny viewership. It’s trying to be a show a lot of people love and watch every week. Gee, imagine that, a show with a lesbian lead that millions of Americans tune in to watch each week just because it makes them laugh and feel good. Hey, nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.

My Weekend Crush

The appeal of some stuff is a no-brainer. Beautiful women in tank tops? Thank you, ma’am, may I have another? Beautiful women in a tailored suit? Yes, all of the yes. Beautiful women lip-synching while grinding on each other? Shut up, I’m gaving a religious experience. Granted, there may or may not be a common denominator in all these things. I can’t quite put my finger on it. Wait, wait, is it a question mark? But, whatever, you get my point.

I’ve been a fan of Jimmy Fallon’s Lip Sync battles because they’re good, clean – sometimes not so clean – fun. So I’m pretty thrilled they’ve turned them into their own show. And I am also more than thrilled to see this little preview of Emily Blunt battling Anne Hathaway. To quote me, when discussing any of the above-mentioned common denominators, “I like her, she looks smart.” Yep, smart. Happy weekend, all.

Beals hearts Buffy

File Under: Things that make you go squeeeee! Hollywood producer and director David Solomon’s tweet over the weekend made the Buffy fan and Bette fan in me do backflips. It’s like a crackship I never knew I wanted. But now that I know that Jennifer Beals is a huge “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” fan (and Buffy/Angel shipper to boot) I’ve totally rearranged my fangirl fantasies to involve inviting Jennifer over to marathon Buffy together. Hey, you have your fantasies and I have mine. They can’t all be dirty.

p.s. It was also announced today that Jennifer's new series "Proof" will premiere at 10 p.m. June 16 after "Rizzoli & Isles." There is a TV god and she likes us quite a bit. 

Too Full to Fuck

While I know some of you (or maybe one – hard to tell) didn’t love the period humor (the body kind, not the grammar kind – wow I’m doing a lot of clarifying already) of professional funny lady Cameron Esposito, I thought I’d doubled down on the questionable humor. Though, while some may call it questionable, I call it true fucking life. Because a) ladies menstruate, b) ladies are sometimes too full to fuck. Hey, who hasn’t been there? Amirite, ladies? Also, the dessert stomach is a real fucking thing. Bon appetite this Hump Day, kittens.