Honey, Unfortunately, Don't!

Gosh do I really, really want to like “Honey Don’t!,” the second neo-noir lesbian thriller from the unconventionally married team of Ethan Coen and Tricia Cooke. I really, really do. But, honey, I just don’t.

After last year’s “Drive-Away Dolls” was decidedly mid (am I using that right, youths?), I continued to hold out hope that the second installment of the lesbian noir anthology film series would be better. You know, perhaps this could be a whole learn from your mistakes scenario and make a better movie situation. Alas, that would be a no.

In their second installment, they’ve just swapped out the first movie’s known names (Matt Damon! Pedro Pascal! Beanie Feldstein!) for new known names (Aubrey Plaza! Chris Evans! Billy Eichner!) and kept Margaret Qualley as their lead/muse.

I will say, I like Qualley’s acting better in this film. She never read authentically queer to me in “Drive-Away Dolls” and that accent – yeah, don’t even get me started. So I believe her queerness a little more here, though that’s probably because Aubrey has chemistry with every female co-star ever.

Both films have tried to blend irreverent, screwball humor with edgier, rampant violence to mixed effect. “Honey Don’t!” seemingly has some things to say about patriarchal power structures and the sexual exploitation of women therein. But it can’t help blowing it all up with a “shocking” third act. [Skip the next paragraph if you don’t want to read spoilers.]

SPOILERS: … Yes, they really made Aubrey’s lesbian cop character the killer, and a pretty psychotic one at that. The final showdown scene is fairly horrific/nightmare fuel. Even their earlier bar scene (which, hello, among the straights like that?) and their hookups can’t erase those images. I’ll never look at my tea kettle the same again. /END SPOILERS

Despite my disappointment, I know I’ll end up watching whatever third installment they eventually release. Because, well, I’m a sucker and also as I’ve said I really, really want to like this lesbian noir trilogy. Fool me three times, shame on you, me and the universe I guess.

Hot Honey Pizza

I haven’t had a chance to watch “Honey, Don’t!” yet, but don’t worry I will. But I have made the time to watch all 9 minutes and 26 seconds of Aubrey Plaza and Margaret Qualley trying to make pizza together. And why would I not when it is filled with Aubrey calling Margaret “baby” and “mommy” and saying “this is what it would be like if we were married.” And that scene she is describing with the coconut oil? Yeah, I gotta see this movie immediately. If not sooner.

p.s. Does Aubrey just have insane chemistry with every female actress in the world or what?

Honey, Hands!

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— milly (@evmmssx) May 24, 2025

Look, you made it to another Wednesday in the year 2025. You deserve to see the hand slip seen, gasped at and rewatched (and rewatched, and rewatched) around the sapphic world. Margaret Qualley got extremely handsy with Aubrey Plaza on the red carpet at Cannes for the premiere of their lesbian pulp caper “Honey, Don’t!” Like, I hope she has consent because, goodness. I can’t blame her either, it’s Aubrey Plaza. But, still. If I had gay pearls I’d clutch ‘em.

My Weekend (Lesbian Movie Trailer) Crush

I think I pinpointed what I didn’t like about “Drive-Away Dolls.” It’s Margaret Qualley playing masc. It just didn’t work for me. I didn’t buy it. But Margaret Qualley in a pencil-skirt and click-clacking heels? Honey, yes. The trailer for the second in a planned trilogy of wacky pulp lesbian flicks by unconventionally (read: they both have girlfriends) married filmmakers Tricia Cooke and Ethan Coen released its trailer. “Honey, Don’t” features Margaret as the aforementioned Honey, a private detective investigating mysterious deaths in a religious group run by Chris Evans. Oh, and Aubrey Plaza plays a cop. I think I might have buried the lede a bit here. *clears throat* AUBREY PLAZA PLAYS A COP. Honestly, I don’t know why I even bothered writing the other stuff. Also, here’s a screengrab of her in her uniform. And not in uniform. You’re welcome.

I will obviously be seated for this. Obviously. And thus ends Lesbian Movie Trailer Week. Happy weekend, all,

Honey, Yes!

Margaret Qualley and Aubrey Plaza will be lesbianing together in a new movie coming out this August from the makers of “Drive-Away Dolls.” I know, it’s pretty exciting and honestly we as queer ladies needed this win. Shit has been bleak. But now the universe rewards us with Margaret and Aubrey (hopefully) smooching a lot. The film, “Honey Don’t!,” will be the second in a planned lesbian pulp trilogy from married (but in an unconventional – read they both have their own girlfriends – way) filmmaking partners Tricia Cooke and Ethan Coen. The first was, of course, the aforementioned “Dolls.”

Now, granted, I liked but did not lovelovelove “Drive-Away Dolls.” It just didn’t gel, for me. I think Margaret Qualley is great (she was so excellent in “The Substance”) and I think Geraldine Viswanathan is great (like so funny in “Blockers”). Alas, they had zero chemistry and their reads on the characters came across too stiff instead of madcapped. A movie about a stolen suitcase full of dildos needs to be madcapped to work. Still, definitely A for effort. I hold high hopes for the trio’s second attempt at lesbian hijinx, because if Aubrey Plaza can have chemistry with Chris Pratt, Aubrey Plaza can have chemistry with anyone. And a woman? No problem. (Also, on a considerably less horny note, I truly hope Aubrey is doing OK after the death of her husband earlier this year.)

Anyway, back to the movie. Margaret will play Honey, a gay private detective investigating deaths at a questionable church led by Chris Evans in Bakersfield, CA. So far Aubrey’s character has only been described as “a mystery woman.” Is it Death? Does she play Death again? Don’t get typecast, girl! Cooke told Autostraddle last year that “Honey Don’t!” was inspired by two 70’s movies I’ve never seen, Robert Altman’s neo-noir satire “The Long Goodbye” and John Huston’s sports film “Fat City,” and the Wanda Jackson version of the song by the same name. Oh, and she also said the movie will have “more sex” than “Dolls.” OK, stop twisting my arm, I already said I would watch!

The Dolls Deliver

Hey, speaking of horny things, I watched “Drive Away Dolls” over the weekend and lemme tell ya the Be Gay, Do Crimes genre is doing great these days. Ostensibly a road trip comedy melding with a crime caper, the film written by Ethan Coen and his queer wife Tricia Cooke is a fun, breezy affair with tons of famous guest stars and cameos (Pedro Pascal! Matt Damon! Colman Domingo! Miley Cyrus!). It stars Margaret Qualley (of “Maid” and Andie MacDowell's gene pool) and Geraldine Viswanathan (of “Blockers”) as friends who unwittingly drive a car to Tallahassee with some unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on your perspective) cargo. Oh and Beanie Feldstein plays Margaret’s character’s cop ex-girlfriend. The road trip turns into a road trip to hit lesbian bars along the way and get laid which is, well, relatable. So, clearly, how can you not like this movie? Truly, back in the days where I’d watch any lesbian movie that came out, I would have killed for this kind of production values and star power. Maybe that’s why it took 17 years to get made. My only true quibble is that Margaret and Geraldine don’t really read all that gay. And they definitely lack chemistry. But, if you can get past that it’s a fun little romp and so proudly gay you just have to applaud. Also, always check the trunk first before driving away.

Slow Drive

Now that is how you play the long game. The production of the new lesbian road trip comedy “Drive-Away Dolls” lasted 17 years. Yes, you read that right. In the time it took this film to go from pre-production, back in 2007 when it was still called “Drive-Away Dykes,” to finished product about to be released this Friday is almost long enough to produce a whole adult person who can vote. But here we are, all these years later.

I should probably back up. Back in 2007, when Barack Obama George W Bush was still president, ahem – the story was cooked up by one-half of the Cohen brothers, Ethan, and his wife Tricia Cooke. She recently came out as a lesbian (though identified as a lesbian even before marrying Ethan), but they remain together while both maintaining other partners. Anyway, she wanted to be able to make queer movies, and well that’s how “Drive-Away Dykes” (it’s original name) was born. Back then Selma Blair and Holly Hunter were bandied about as possible leads.

Flash forward 17 years later, and Margaret Qualley (“Maid”) and Geraldine Viswanathan (“Blockers”) are leads, playing lesbian best friends who embark on a road trip where to say hijinks ensues would probably be an understatement. Beanie Feldstein stars as Margaret’s recent ex, who is also a cop (which my best guess is the role Holly would have otherwise played). And the movie also stars Colman Domingo, Pedro Pascal, Matt Damon and also maybe a hallucination of Miley Cyrus?

Yeah, I don’t know why I’m just hearing about this movie again this week. The publicity department somewhere has fallen down on the job. Like, I’m even a member of GALECA, you gotta tip the gays off at least. And, can we talk about the serious lack of gay agenda in that trailer? Is this like the whole musicals hiding the fact that they’re musicals thing again, but with gay movies?

Anyway, this looks fun, like a lot of fun. It gives off the same, slightly unhinged vibe as “Bottoms,” where finally lesbian characters are more than just their coming out stories and instead are part of all movie genres because, again, we are everywhere and also quite funny. See you at the cineplex, lesbians.