My Weekend Wedding Crush

Look, even as a person who is less than 100 days from being officially, officially, divorced, I can still appreciate love and marriage and even weddings. So I was rather tickled to read the glowing marriage announcements in both The New York Times and People of Maria Bello and Dominique Crenn. First, I’m tickled they made it. They’ve been dating (and engaged) forever in celebrity years. And second, of all the kinds of weddings, gay weddings are clearly my favorites. Duh. And finally third, I love it when queer love gets treated just like straight love in major media, because I’m old enough to remember when it very much wasn’t. So mazel tov to Maria and Dominique. May they live a long, happy and extremely gay life together. Happy weekend and start of Pride tomorrow, all.

The! Woman! King!

Fuck, and I cannot emphasize this enough, yeah. Fuck! Yeah! FUCK YEAH, THE WOMAN KING! Like has a movie matched a collective mood more than this? Viola Davis, absolutely ripped and glistening, kicking the shit out of colonizers and defending her kingdom against patriarchal overlords. As I said, FUCK YEAH!

Honestly, my initial visceral reaction might seem like overkill. But the more I learn about this movie — and the more I watch the trailer — the more excited I get. Because this movie is based on a real-life band of extraordinary all-female warriors, the Agojie.

These women warriors, often referred to as Amazons, helped to defend the West African kingdom Dahomey (now present-day Benin) from the 17th to 19th Centuries. They were the inspiration for the all-female King’s Guard in “Black Panther” and generally just kickass despite being relegated to the footnotes (if that) of most history books.

So, that alone would be something to get excited about. But the look of this thing, and particularly Viola? Like, I know we all got a little excited when we saw Natalie Portman’s new Thor arms. But I definitely know who I’d pick in a fight, and it ain’t the former Black Swan.

And, if that wasn’t enough, this movie is packed with talent in front of and behind the camera. Viola, of course. But then there’s also Lashana Lynch (a.k.a. Maria Rambeau/Mrs. Captain Marvel) and directed/co-written by Gina Prince-Bythewood (the directing genius behind “Love & Basketball” and “The Old Guard”). And did you know this whole thing started when Maria Bello (yes, that Maria Bello) pitched Viola at an award presentation?

As I was saying, fuck yeah. Hurry up, September. We need a hero, and we can’t wait to meet her. I genuinely cannot get enough of yoked Viola. Fuck. Yeah.

Tomorrow. Agojie!… #TheWomanKing pic.twitter.com/8gXKCZhl3K

— Gina Prince-Bythewood (@GPBmadeit) July 5, 2022

Gender Fuck Thursday: Iron Chef Lesbians Edition

If you’ve been around Surrenders for a while you’ll know that food shows are one of my weaknesses. And of course one of the O.G. food shows is “Iron Chef.” Now, the series is back on Netflix of all places and, lemme tell ya, it’s bigger and gayer than ever before. Bigger because they’ve made an enormous new kitchen stadium. And gayer because they’ve added not one but two out queer female chefs: new co-host Kristen Kish and new Iron Chef Dominique Crenn.

You probably know Kristen from winning Season 10 of “Top Chef.” And you probably know Dominique from her three-starred Michelin restaurant Atelier Crenn in San Francisco and her engagement to actress Maria Bello. Anyway, the new season is an extravagant delight. I’ve particularly enjoyed how they’ve increased the number of both female competitors and female sous chef overall. (Yes, I miss the show’s O.G. lesbian Iron Chef, Cat Cora, but all the Iron Chefs are new now).

I also love how incredibly Fisher-Price quality to the show’s top prize, the so-called Golden Knife which looks like some PA spray painted about 30 minutes before the show started. Anyway, if you like cooking shows and incredibly talented queer female chefs, yeah, you should watch. And, if none of that entices you, please know that Kristen wears an incredible assortment of suits through the show’s eight-episode season. Yeah, tuck in, you’re coming to dinner.

SGALGG/GGALGG: Oscars Edition

Told ya it was coming. So outside of Janelle Monae representing for queer black artists to start the shows, the Oscars were a pretty straight affair. At least, what we saw on television was pretty straight. As we all know, hand out a few shiny trophies and let the champagne flow and suddenly Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals are everywhere – or at least everywhere in the eye of the beholder. But, as has been a welcome trend these last few years, there also actual Gay Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. Queer women came out in their finest this Oscar season. So it appears even lesbians and bisexual women are attracted to golden naked men. Who knew.

Brie Larson, Sigourney Weaver & Gal Gadot

I’m not really a threesome person, but YES PLEASE LET ME WATCH.

Laura Dern & Renee Zellweger

Bridget Jones’s Later-in-Life Lesbianism

Scarlett Johansson & Florence Pugh

It’s so unfair they’ve cast Florence Pugh and Rachel Weisz in the new “Black Widow” movie, because now I have to see it.

Geena Davis & Sandra Oh

No, they’re not doing anything particularly gay. But they’re Geena Davis and Sandra Oh standing together in beautiful dresses. So, duh, gay interest.

Natalie Portman

No, Natalie isn’t doing anything particularly gay. But she has the names of all the female directors snubbed this year for the Oscars embroidered on her coat hem in a sign of feminist solidarity and as we all know any feminism worth a damn is intersectional which means it would include the concerns of POC and the LGBTQ community. So, duh, gay interest.

Regina King

No, Regina isn’t doing anything particularly gay. But have you seen her arms and that dress? So, duh, gay interest.

Salma Hayek & Penelope Cruz

I’ve had dreams that started like this, Part I.

Margot Robbie & Charlize Theron

The strong top energy coming off Charlize as she watches over Margot reading her program is palpable.

Jessica Alba & Sofía Vergara

I’ve had dreams that started like this, Part II.

Greta Gerwig & Saoirse Ronan

I’m usually not cool with maestros getting handsy with their ingénue’s, but you know what? I’ll allow it.

Jane Fonda & Olivia Colman

Women of a certain age can totally get it.

GGALGG: Oscars Edition

Janelle Monae & Billy Porter

It’s like we’re witnessing the coolest wizard convention in the universe.

Beanie Feldstein & Kaitlyn Dever

Out queer actress who played straight with her straight actress friend who played gay.

Janet Mock, Lena Waithe & Rashida Jones

Proof that LGBTQ people totally still like straight people.

Maria Bello & Dominique Crenn

Mazel tov to the newly engaged couple!

Tessa Thompson & Amandla Stenberg

Just two incredibly talented, out, black queer actresses dancing at an Oscars party in the year 2020. Sometimes, it’s almost like we are living in the future.

My End-of-the-Year Crush

It’s been a bad year for closets. A bunch of famous ladies decided to only store their clothes in them and join our big gay family. Granted, many of us knew about many of them already. But there’s still something so special – and so necessary – about making it official. And there was such a wide array of ways they all came out: at award shows, on morning TV, in magazine interview, through newspaper columns and, yes, even on Twitter.

Here’s a look at The Out Eight of 2013 (I know, there were more, but these are some of the most high profile. Autostraddle has a nice run-down of alllll the ladies who kicked open the closet.)

Jodie Foster, actress

Sure, it was a little rambling and never quite said the “L” or “G” words, but Jodie’s coming out acceptance speech at the Golden Globes in January was the confirmation of something we all knew but also though would never go acknowledged. And now she’s got a hottie girlfriend out of the deal. Get it, girl.

Jenna Wolfe, TV journalist

The NBC “Today Weekend” anchor came out and announced her and her partner’s impending parenthood on the popular morning show in March. She gave birth to a baby girl in August. As I don’t get up early on the weekends, I wasn’t too familiar with Jenna before the announcement. But, goodness, am I glad I did my research. Hello, arm porn.

Brittney Griner, professional basketball player

After being selected the No. 1 draft pick by the WNBA in April, Brittney came out in a matter-of-fact way during an interview afterward. Granted, she’d never been necessarily in. But saying it out loud with confidence and pride silences the snide whispers. Being able to dunk on them doesn’t hurt either.

Charice, actress and singer

You might remember Charice from “Glee.” Or you might know the Filipina superstar from her own music. But even if you don’t know her at all you have to commend her courage in coming out this June in an often conservative and largely Roman Catholic country. Also, love the hair.

Raven-Symone, actress and singer

Coming out is now so Raven. I’ll happily date myself and say that I can remember little Raven-Symone as the adorable Olivia on “The Cosby Show.” And for others she was the sassy Raven and lead singer of The Cheetah Girls. So coming out in a tweet about marriage equality in August after so many grew up with her makes such a difference.

Michelle Rodriguez, actress

Yeah, finally. After years of talking loudly about not being gay and liking sausage, the actress came out as bisexual in an Entertainment Weekly article this October. She followed it up by telling Latina magazine she decided to be honest about who she is to “see what happens.” Well, honey, what happened? Other than that long-awaited toaster oven you got in the mail.

Abby Wambach, professional soccer player

While she wasn’t necessarily in, she certainly never said it out loud. So getting married to teammate Sarah Huffman and gushing about their big day and thanking well-wishers on Twitter made it official this October. Saying I do and I am all at once means one hell of a honeymoon.

Maria Bello, actress

Modern love can lead to modern families. And Maria Bello wrote eloquently about her own when she came out in a New York Times column earlier this month. She didn’t label herself (well, she called herself a “whatever”), but put words to the love she has for her female partner, the platonic father of her son and their child.

So, there you have it. Eight women who decided the truth was better than any dark closet. Here’s to another open year in 2014. Happy weekend, all.

Bella Bello

Life gives us so few “Eureka!” moments. But when I heard through the lesbian grapevine (i.e. ScribeGrrrl and Scribe’s Girl, who read it in the New York Times dead tree edition yesterday morning) that Maria Bello had come out in one of the paper’s famed “Modern Love’ columns, I practically screamed “Eureka!” More like, “Lezreka!”

She had always pinged for me and probably for you. But she also seemed like the kind of lady who would owe up to loving whomever she loved. And now, it seems, she has. The column is lovely, thoughtful and searching in ways people don’t often like to search out loud. What does it mean to be a family? What does it mean to be a partner? There are so many definitions to so many words and all that really makes a family in the end is, of course, love.

Maria tweeted out a picture of her thoroughly modern family (her, son Jackson, partner Clare and son’s father Dan) over the weekend.

Giving thanks for my modern family. Happy thanksgiving for whatever kind of family you have. @nytimes pic.twitter.com/Mty9FPNHh4

— maria bello (@maria_bello) November 30, 2013

Also of course, you’re all curious about this “Clare.” We gay ladies are such nosey bitties, myself totally included. From her essay, Maria described her first meeting with Clare and her “sitting in a bar wearing a fedora and speaking in her Zimbabwean accent.” Yes, finally, we figure out what Maria’s crazy “Prime Suspect” fedora was all about.



With a little more sleuthing I found out that Clare appears to be Clare Munn, “Chairman, The Communication Group, a new media corp with social media, branding & training business units.” Maria and Clare have appeared at events together and tweeted photos of each other. And, yes, there is a fedora. Most importantly, they look happy.



Like many (come on, most) of you, I’ve had a thing for Maria forever. I believe I’ve called her “lesbian catnip” in the past, and I meant it. She has this no-nonsense capable air about her, like she can fix her own tire without breaking a sweat. So I’m more than ready to welcome her into our big, happy, gay modern family with open arms. Also, I think we can all give ourselves a pat on the back for our finely tuned gaydar. I’m off to go watch “Coyote Ugly” in a whole new light.

p.s. Guess someone had a clearly unfair advantage in that Maria v. Mariska SGALGG Fight from a few years ago. Ahem.

Tank Top Tuesday: Global Warming Edition

It’s been an unusually warm winter out here in California. Granted, it’s California. So it’s always going to be warmer in the winter than, say, Minnesota. But still, even for the Golden State it’s a little nuts. Especially up here in Northern California. I mean, it’s supposed to hit the 70s this week. It’s still February, right? I know this should probably be wringing my hands about global warming and our carbon emissions. And – don’t worry, Al Gore – I totally do. But I’m also a tiny bit selfishly grateful for our depleted ozone layer. Because it means ladies are going to break out the tank tops that much faster. Hey, don’t judge me. I recycle.

Troian Bellisario

I’m so behind on my “Pretty Little Liars.” Is Spencer gay yet? Because she should be.

Lena HeadeyRemember when Lena was on that show about robots from the future and she ran around in a lot of tank tops. Yeah, me too.

Olivia WildeRemember when Olivia was on that show about teenagers from The O.C. and she made out with Mischa Barton? Yeah, me too.

Maria BelloOh, “Prime Suspect,” you could have been so damn good.

Halle BerryIt’s been 10 years since she won her Oscar. I know, that is blowing my mind too.

Mila KunisMore movies where you make out with Natalie Portman. Less movies where you make out with Justin Tumberlake. Oh, and don’t even consider making out with Ashton Kutcher again, honey.

Charlize TheronEvery time I see her in a tank top I think, “You know what, $140,000 for a kiss might even be a little low.”

Michelle RodriguezIf I had a dollar for each time Michelle gave a camera this look I’d be able to buy everyone of you a tank top, and then some.

Hope Solo

OK, OK – this isn’t “technically” a tank top. But it sure makes me appreciate warm weather. Also sweat. Also abs. Mmmm, abs.

Right, so maybe our carbon footprint isn’t looking so great. But until the rising oceans swallow all the land, I’m going to enjoy this silver lining while I can.

Prime of life

Maria Bello is kind of like lesbian catnip. You can go for days, months, possibly even years without thinking about her and then the minute she is in front of you again you go a completely mad with excitement. How is this woman so delicious? It’s not just that she is beautiful, which she is. She is so beautiful, and age has only had her face more interesting and expressive. But it’s that she seems so capable. Lesbians love a capable lady. That doesn’t mean she has to know how to change her own oil or level a doorframe. But she knows exactly who to call to do it, and will supervise carefully. Helpless is not something she can really play. And, man, is that sexy. It is grown-up sexy personified. Leave the damsels in their various states of distress to the white knights of the world. I’ll take a lady who knows what she’s doing instead any and every day.

I think that’s what makes her so good in “Prime Suspect.” Her Det. Jane Timoney is infinitely capable. That doesn’t mean she’s somehow supernaturally gifted – she just pays attention and works harder than anyone else in the room. It’s what makes real people good at their jobs. It’s why she seems so believable in hers. This isn’t to say that her good detective is perfect – that would be boring. She has her issues and isn’t the least bit worried about making nice. But I like that. Also I like the clothes they’re putting her in for the show. They’re not your standard-issue lady cop suits. They’ve got more flare without being overly butch or overly femme. Of course, I’m a sucker for a lady who knows how to lean. She leans great.

Also, when she needs to, fucking hell can Maria bring the sexy. Like I was saying, I love a lady who knows what she’s doing. And she can definitely, definitely leave her hat on.

You can read my Prime Suspect SnapCaps every Friday on AfterEllen. You are, of course, perfectly welcome to keep staring slack-jawed at these pictures until then. Hey, honey, you’re drooling.

TV, take me away

Right, so I’m watching a lot of TV this season. Fine, I watch a lot of TV every season. But this season I’m watching it with slightly more productive intentions. As I’ve already mentioned, I’m going to be writing SnapCaps (short, snappy recaps) on AfterEllen for “Lost Girl.” The second one went up yesterday. In addition, I’ll be SnapCapping “Ringer” (second one is up today) and “Prime Suspect” (it airs Thursdays, Snap Caps will post Fridays). That’s a lot of writing about TV. It’s tricky writing about new shows because, well, they’re new and as we’re trying to figure them out they’re trying to figure themselves out. So, to summarize, I’m a busy girl sitting on my couch, per usual.

Of course, this being the new TV season, I’m also trying out a lot of show I’m not writing about either. So far I’ve sampled three other new shows: “The Secret Circle” (“The Craft,” but with less goth accessories), “2 Broke Girls” (I laughed more than I expected to, in spite of myself) and “New Girl” (Let’s face it, Zooey Deschanel is the draw here, I could give a flip about her three male roommates). I am on the fence about “Up All Night,” because while I love the cast another show about parenting being crazy really is not on this gal’s big gay agenda. And the reviews of “Charlie’s Angels” are worse than the reviews of “Bionic Woman,” and we all know how well that show went. I’ve also decided against “The Playboy Club” (even with the real and the pretend gay bunnies) and “Pan Am” because even if you put it in a nice 60s suit and beautiful retro dress, sexism isn’t really my favorite thing to watch on TV. (p.s. On that note, I’m glad to hear the makers of “Prime Suspect” have decided to veers away from the blatant sexism in the pilot after this week.) There are a handful of other shows I’m considering adding to my dance card, but considering the returning shows I already watch, that’s a really freaking full dance card.

I guess all of this is a long and somewhat winded (though mostly because I’m out of shape from sitting on my couch and watching all this TV) way of saying I hope you’ll watch TV along with me this season and share your thoughts on all the shows I’ll both be SnapCapping and any other shows that catch your eye. But just because it’s a new season don’t think for a second I’ve forgotten about old friends. Yes, kittens, I miss Jane and Maura, too. But don’t worry. They’ll be back for five more in November. Until then, please enjoy Det. Rizzoli’s new (and very NSFW) ringtone for Dr. Isles.

EDIT: Every once in a while, actual comments get caught in the automatic Blogger spam filter. This usually happens with comments that contain dirty words or are really long. I hardly check the filter, because frankly I forget it is there. But, rest assured, I do not delete any comments (save for obvious spam or blatant hate speech). Also, this post is about scripted shows. Though I did watch DWTS and commented on it quite a bit on my Twitter feed. So follow me there for my thoughts on DWTS.

Tank Top Tuesday

You know how that Tuesday after a vacation can be even worse than the Monday after a vacation because Tuesday is the day it actually sets in that, “Dammit, I’m really going to have to be here all week.” So, naturally, I’ve turned to tank tops to soften the blow. Oh, tank tops. You never fail me.

Maria Bello

I don’t love the promos for “Prime Suspect,” but I do love Maria. So, you know, sold.

Heather MorrisI am suddenly irrationally jealous of that volleyball net, and that pole. Possibly the sand.

Lynn ChenSure, we’re all still in love with Michelle. But of course we fell for Lynn, too. She taught us to fall, after all.

Gillian AndersonScully is working on her fitness. Your argument is invalid.

Rashida JonesIf I promise to keep posting pictures of Rashida in a tank top, will you promise to watch “Parks and Recreations?”

Katie McGrathYou can’t really see much of her tank top here. I’m surprisingly OK with that.

Annie LennoxThat amount of cool should be bottled and sold in stores.

Missy PeregrymI have long forgotten the plot of “Stick It,” but I will never forget those abs.

Joanne KellyHave you ever wondered what a young Agent Myka Bering would look like in a tank top by a campfire? Well, now you know.