My Weekend Crush

If Tina is on the TV, even if it’s TVs in the UK, imma crush on it. Duh. So My Fake TV/Film/Cross-Continental Show Host Wife was the first host for the new “Saturday Night Love” UK last weekend. I haven’t watched the whole show because, well, I rarely watch the full United States show. Now I gotta add a whole Kingdom? Anyway, back to Tina. Can I say I’ve always liked her dress shorts, chunky Oxfords and thick glasses aesthetic? It’s a little 90s Riot Grrrl and I’m into that. Also, did Tina have an almost wardrobe malfunction at the start there with her vest? And it isn’t even my birthday. Happy weekend, all.

Tina, Ina. Ina, Tina

Am I mad at myself that I missed My Fake TV/Film Wife’s Ina Garten season opening episode last weekend and have I already set my DVR (do people still use those? just me?) for its repeat next weekend? And until then will I console myself with these clips of Tina Fey wanting to marry Ina? Yes, I know, but I allow it because what middle-aged woman hasn’t wanted to do that, duh? Talk about your I want to go to there.

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The L in SNL Stand for Lesbian

Leave it to my Fake TV/Film Wife’s Real-LIfe TV/Film Wife to make the SNL sketch of the season. Yes, I know this season has only just begun, but it’s hard to think of a more lesbian sketch than this, so, my statement stands. This also kind of confirms my reasons for not having watching “The Hunting Wives” yet. “It’s like if ‘The L Word’ took place in Yellowstone.” Snort, but also precisely.

I feel like we need to send Amy Poehler a toaster oven for bringing The Aubrey Plaza into that skit. And as a real lesbian, no less!

Also, she deserves a monogrammed toaster oven specifically from me for bringing out Tina Fey not just once but twice.

Hey, SNL, invite more of the show’s female alums back to host. Because when they do, they absolutely kill it. Not that I expected anything less from Amy, even if we’re in the midst of a one-sided TV/FIlm Wife standoff.

My Weekend Crush

My Fake TV/Movie/Media Mogul Wife is on the cover of another magazine? Of course imma crow about it. Sometimes it’s hard to believe it’s been a dozen years since “30 Rock” ended. But then I remember, I mean fuck Obama was president then. It WAS forever ago. I am happy that, despite her desire to promote and encourage younger and new writers, Tina is still out there trying to make us laugh in a pretty smart way. Some stupid ways, too. But then pratfalls are classic for a reason. While I can’t say I remember the original “Four Seasons,” I am intrigued by the new cast and appreciate the opportunity to have funny, creative people make comedy for adults. We can still be funny in middle age, or so I’ve heard. Guess we’ll find out. Happy weekend, all.

Also, doesn’t Tina look amazing in these photos? Hey! Be respectful, that’s My Fake TV/Movie/Media Mogul Wife you’re looking at there.

Tina for All Seasons

A new TV miniseries from My Fake TV/Movie/MediaMogul Wife Tina Fey? Finally, a reason to hope beyond all the April premieres. Tina has created and stars in “The Four Seasons” based on the early 80s film by the same name that starred Carol Burnett, Rita Moreno and Alan Alda. I don’t think I ever watched that one, as I was too young for the theaters when it released. Though, it’s possible I caught it on repeats on HBO years later. The original apparently starred Bess Armstrong, a.k.a. The Mom from “My So-Called Life” as the Hot Young Thing.

Tina’s adaptation appears to keep the three couples who go on vacation through the seasons/years concept. But now one of the couples is a gay couple, played by Colman Domingo and Marco Calvani, and the others are played by Tina and Will Forte, Steve Carell and Reno 911 alum Kerri Kenney-Silver. There’s also a lot of travel and possible personal injury, per the trailer. While we clearly have a gay male couple in the mix, I have no idea if any queer ladies show up too. But this woman about to get smacked in the face by a frisbee certainly has potential.

So, anyone have strong feelings about the original they want to share? Is this White Lotus for middle-class couples, with hopefully less death?

p.s. Here is the original trailer, as a refresher, for those who like to compare and contrast.

My Weekend Crush

So, here’s the thing about going to see your heroes…YOU SHOULD DO IT! I had a great time going to Tina Fey & Amy Poehler’s Restless Leg Tour and highly recommend the experience for anyone thinking about checking out the show when it slides into your town. The show was split up into sections. If you plan to go and don’t want to be spoiled, stop reading now and go buy your ticket and have a really lovely weekend. If not, please continue and I will tell you the tale of when a Gen X queer lady saw her two favorite Gen X heroines (And — to steal a line from Liz Lemon — by heroine, I mean lady heroes. I don’t want to inject them and listen to jazz…)

First, Tina and Amy come out in evening gowns. Sparkly, sparkly evening gowns. Tina called Amy her “TV husband” and honestly I think she stole that from me since she is my Fake TV/Film Wife, but fine. I understand art is collaborative. Then, they asked the audience for some cues and told the story of how they met more than 30 years ago in Chicago via improv. Tina wore overalls. A dildo was involved in our story, so suggest accordingly if you go.

Over the course of the show they also brought out the Weekend Update desk (with a surprise cameo from Fed Armisen), came out for individual stand-up sets and then took (written) questions from the crowd in their pajamas. Yes, kittens, I have seen Tina Fey in her pajamas. Please respect my privacy in this time of great emotional upheaval.

Tina’s description of the crowd and vibe in this Fallon clip are, of course, incredibly accurate. Though I didn't see any HomeGoods bags in the audience, I’m pretty sure a few of my fellow audience members had them in their trunks. Anyway, this post is also a reminder to myself to go see the “Mean Girls” movie which I haven’t yet for lying around and rotting throughout January reasons. But, now that I’ve successfully taken myself to Tina & Amy’s show, (and it is no longer January) anything seems possible. Fine, not anything, but I did manage to go to one of their 7:30 p.m. shows (instead of the 4 p.m. show right before). So, that’s at least something to feel smug about. Happy weekend, all.

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Live, from the Emmys

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler perform an #SNL skit to present the #Emmy for Outstanding Live Variety Special pic.twitter.com/yUdFUzTkkM

— The Hollywood Reporter (@THR) January 16, 2024

Look, I will have more to say about the Emmys (and this whole award season, really) later this week. but for now, I just want to go to there*.

* And I will! I see them live in 11 days!

My Weekend (Mean Girls) Crush

Well, today is the day. The day a whole new generation of gay gals falls for Regina George/Renee Rapp. I include myself in this group — but in the opposite, older direction. So I am looking forward to appreciating the Gen Z lesbian appeal of Ms. Rapp on the big screen, respectfully of course. But we all know I already have much appeal for My Fake TV/Movie/Broadway Wife Tina Fey. And now that she’s got the blue vest back on *bites lip* Yeah, fetch happened already. Happy Mean Girls watching weekend, all.

We Mean It, Girls

Get in losers, the girls are mean again. But, ouch, did you have to lead with “This isn’t your mother’s Mean Girls?” Hit a person where it hurts, their birth year! Look, I’m as excited about the new “Mean Girls” musical movie as the next fake married to Tina Fey and age-appropriately interested in Renee Rapp red-blooded lesbian human being. And I definitely laughed out loud on several occasions (plus yay for Busy Phillipps and Ahsley Park and Jenna Fischer). But why in the world are they seemingly hiding that this thing is a MUSICAL? Definitely not fetch. But Tina looks great (I mean, come on, she looks great - there is a reason she is my Fake TV/Movie Wife) so I’m definitely getting in.

Get In, Lesbians

I’m only a casual observer of most of the Gaylor Phenomenon. But even I know that releasing a teaser trailer for the new “Mean Girls” movie musical before showings of the Taylor Swift's Eras Tour movie is a stroke of marketing genius. Like, isn’t Renee Rapp all the Gen Z queer kids’ fav? I, of course, will also be watching because Tina Fey and also TINA FEY. So, as I was saying, well played movie marketers, well played.

Mental Health Minx: Tina Fey

You made it to Friday. Treat yourself to a few fistfuls of cake.

My Weekend Crush

Yes, I know my Fake TV/Movies Wife and her best friend are going out on tour together. The little sound I made when I first read the headline, well, it wasn’t that little. But then when I read the article I was immediately clearly crushed that they’re only touring on the East Coast(ish).So now the only question is WHO WILL BUY ME A PLANE TICKET? I would accept tickets to Washington, D.C., Chicago, Boston and/or Atlantic City. Though, if I’m being picky, Atlantic City isn’t really my vibe. Anyway, I hope Tina and Amy decide to add to their Restless Leg Tour and come out to the Best Coast. But even if they don’t I will happily watch whatever TV special this turns into because they’ve got to be recording this for the magic light box, right? Mostly I wanted to thank the kittens who made sure I knew about this momentous life news. I very much appreciate your continued concern for my fictional relationships. Happy weekend, all.

Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day

Happy Galentine’ Day, kittens. Alternately, Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day to us all. I would also like My Fake TV/Movie Wife to know I am recenty single. Just saying.

Vacation Vixen: Kate & Tina

Yes, I know, Tina isn’t technically a Gay. But she is my Fake TV/Movie Wife and hugging certified Gay Kate McKinnon. So, you know, I’m gonna give it a pass. Because when two great things look great together, don’t fight it. Happy vacation weekend, all.

SGALGG: Pandemic Globes Edition

So, we already talked about the Jodie gay news from the Globes. But, if we’re being honest, queer women and their dogs were kind of the best part of this year’s pandemic Golden Globes. Well, that and a bicoastally separated Tina & Amy as hosts. I have to say, it’s just not the same watching celebrities suck at Zoom at home like us. But, there were still some bright spots amid the terrible sound and bad webcams. And, again, many of them were gay women.

There was Jodie and Alex and their pup Izzy.

And there was Sarah Paulson and her (and Holland Taylor’s) rescue pup Winnie.

There was Gillian Anderson in a skull-topped Dior with her pup in matching pup Dior.

Cynthia Nixon didn’t have a dog with her. But she had her wife Christine, their son Max, Manhattan D.A. candidate Tahanie Aboushi and her husband, and the Bernie Meme at their Globes party instead.

I regret to inform you that My Fake TV/Film Wife Tina Fey has discovered the evening wear line from Laura Ashley.

But all is forgiven because of her pantless tuxedo from the start of the show.

In these pandemic times, this is as close as we got to Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. And you know what, I’ll take it.

Wear a Tina Mask

What’s up, nerds? The first “30 Rock” episode since January 2013 will air tonight. Am I excited? Please, even after 11 years my Fake TV Wife still very much makes me want to go to there. Tina and Alec and Jane and Tracy and Kenneth the Page, oh my! Interestingly, the special looks like they used real cameras, and real locations-ish, to shoot unlike the rest of the Very Special Coronavirus Episodes we’ve seen so far which have looked like super-sized Zoom meetings with only marginally better lighting. What will happen? Who knows! But I’m sure excited to sit in peace and eat a sandwich while watching this. Also, if someone could send me one of those Tina screaming face masks, I’d be very much obliged.

My Weekend Lemon

Please, my Fake TV/Movies Wife Tina Fey returns to “30 Rock” for a special episode and I’m not gonna write about it? So this week it was announced that the original cast of the acclaimed NBC series would reunite for a special, social-distanced special called “One More 30 Rock” to air July 17. The Very Special Self-Quarantine Episode will also serve as the upfronts presentation for NBCUniversal’s programming. Returning for the V.S.S.Q.E. are Tina as Liz Lemon, Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy, Tracy Morgan as Tracy Jordan, Jane Krakowski as Jenna Maroney, Jack McBraye as Kenneth the Page and others making special appearances. Like April’s V.S.S.Q.E. reunion of the cast of “Parks & Rec,” the new “30 Rock” will feature the actors reprising their roles in all new stories. They’ll also apparently be plugging NBC and its various other networks’ new seasons. So the NBC show about a show on NBC is going to promote new shows coming to NBC. That’s some high-level meta corporate vertical integration right there. Oh, capitalism, you never quit do you? Whatever, as long as Liz still wears bi-curios shoes, I’m totally in. Happy safe, healthy and righteous weekend, all.

Salute to Dunning Kruger Syndrome

Sure, Mother's Day was last weekend. But the last part of my Mother's Day gift will be delivered to my mom many states away today. Plus it is a global pandemic and all the children are home, so why not let moms have a whole damn week this year instead of a day. Please allow my TV/Movie/Pandemic Sympathy Wife Tina Few express my deepest gratitude to all the moms out there trying to make it through the day. And, yeah, I Googled it. That All-White Meat Turkey Face definitely has Dunning Kruger Syndrome.

Fourth Time is as Charming

Like I wasn’t going to comment on the first truly great news of 2020. My Fake TV/Movie Wife Tina Fey and her Fake TV Wife Amy Poehler have signed on to host the Golden Globes in 2021. Granted, I realize that saying the first good news of 2020 is actually something that will not happen until 2021 is kind of not a great omen. But, you know, I’ll take the win where I can in these treacherous times. Especially after Ricky “Transphobe Asshat” Gervais, this is such a welcome relief. Tina and Amy have hosted three times before in 2013, 2014, and 2015. With each time hosting they brought a decidedly feminist approach to the role, and continually punched up – especially at the patriarchy – instead of punching down. Plus, you know, they are just damn funny. Here is a reminder of just how funny from the last time they hosted in 2015. Damn, remember when it was still considered kinda taboo to tell a “Cosby is a Rapist” joke? Crazy, man.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Female Excellence Edition

A new year is a new chance to shine light on deserving women. So let’s start off 2020 with a by no means comprehensive list of excellent women whose excellence I would like to see a lot more of on the large and small screen – and really all over – this year. Now wouldn't that be most excellent? And, if I may, a gentle plea to put them on the screen wearing suits. Just saying, they all know how excellent they look wearing them.

Saoirse Ronan

She was excellent as Jo in “Little Women,” but then she is excellent in everything.

Awkwafina

She was excellent in “The Farewell,” and I am soooo looking forward to “Nora from Queens.”

Kristin Scott Thomas

She was excellent as a lesbian in “Fleabag,” and we should see her as a lesbian in more things.

Brandi Carlile

She is excellent each time she opens her mouth, and here’s hoping I get to see her do it again live this year.

Janelle Monae

She was excellent with Tessa Thompson, and here’s hoping they can be excellent some more together in the new year.

Lena Headey

She is so much more excellent than Cersei Lannister, and she deserves a better on-screen fate in 2020.

Tatiana Maslany

She is excellence personified and WHY HASN’T ANYONE CAST HER AS THE STAR OF THEIR SHOW YET?

Jameela Jamil

She is so excellent on “The Good Place,” and if she isn’t snapped up immediately for some wonderfully comedic starring role everyone in forking stupid. But then, look who our president is.

Katie McGrath

Yeah I know she’s still making excellent flirt eyes at Supergirl, but wouldn’t it be so excellent if she also got to make flirt eyes at a lady who is unquestionably lesbian in another unquestionably lesbian role? Just a thought.

Ellen Page

So “The Umbrella Academy” wasn’t as excellent as I’d hoped, but there is always hope for Season 2 and her excellently creepy new white eyes.

Lupita Nyong'o & Danai Gurira

They’re were excellent in “Black Panther,” now make a superhero movie about them where they’re a couple. Look, as long as we’re wishing for excellent things.

Tina Fey

My most excellent Fake TV/Movie Wife will always make any list about excellence. Period.

Cate Blanchett

Look, I’ve had the most excellent idea. “Carol 2.” Everything gets revived these days, why not the greatest lesbian movie of the last decade? As I was saying, excellent idea.