The Dolls Deliver

Hey, speaking of horny things, I watched “Drive Away Dolls” over the weekend and lemme tell ya the Be Gay, Do Crimes genre is doing great these days. Ostensibly a road trip comedy melding with a crime caper, the film written by Ethan Coen and his queer wife Tricia Cooke is a fun, breezy affair with tons of famous guest stars and cameos (Pedro Pascal! Matt Damon! Colman Domingo! Miley Cyrus!). It stars Margaret Qualley (of “Maid” and Andie MacDowell's gene pool) and Geraldine Viswanathan (of “Blockers”) as friends who unwittingly drive a car to Tallahassee with some unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on your perspective) cargo. Oh and Beanie Feldstein plays Margaret’s character’s cop ex-girlfriend. The road trip turns into a road trip to hit lesbian bars along the way and get laid which is, well, relatable. So, clearly, how can you not like this movie? Truly, back in the days where I’d watch any lesbian movie that came out, I would have killed for this kind of production values and star power. Maybe that’s why it took 17 years to get made. My only true quibble is that Margaret and Geraldine don’t really read all that gay. And they definitely lack chemistry. But, if you can get past that it’s a fun little romp and so proudly gay you just have to applaud. Also, always check the trunk first before driving away.

Slow Drive

Now that is how you play the long game. The production of the new lesbian road trip comedy “Drive-Away Dolls” lasted 17 years. Yes, you read that right. In the time it took this film to go from pre-production, back in 2007 when it was still called “Drive-Away Dykes,” to finished product about to be released this Friday is almost long enough to produce a whole adult person who can vote. But here we are, all these years later.

I should probably back up. Back in 2007, when Barack Obama George W Bush was still president, ahem – the story was cooked up by one-half of the Cohen brothers, Ethan, and his wife Tricia Cooke. She recently came out as a lesbian (though identified as a lesbian even before marrying Ethan), but they remain together while both maintaining other partners. Anyway, she wanted to be able to make queer movies, and well that’s how “Drive-Away Dykes” (it’s original name) was born. Back then Selma Blair and Holly Hunter were bandied about as possible leads.

Flash forward 17 years later, and Margaret Qualley (“Maid”) and Geraldine Viswanathan (“Blockers”) are leads, playing lesbian best friends who embark on a road trip where to say hijinks ensues would probably be an understatement. Beanie Feldstein stars as Margaret’s recent ex, who is also a cop (which my best guess is the role Holly would have otherwise played). And the movie also stars Colman Domingo, Pedro Pascal, Matt Damon and also maybe a hallucination of Miley Cyrus?

Yeah, I don’t know why I’m just hearing about this movie again this week. The publicity department somewhere has fallen down on the job. Like, I’m even a member of GALECA, you gotta tip the gays off at least. And, can we talk about the serious lack of gay agenda in that trailer? Is this like the whole musicals hiding the fact that they’re musicals thing again, but with gay movies?

Anyway, this looks fun, like a lot of fun. It gives off the same, slightly unhinged vibe as “Bottoms,” where finally lesbian characters are more than just their coming out stories and instead are part of all movie genres because, again, we are everywhere and also quite funny. See you at the cineplex, lesbians.