Naked Lady Wednesday

Look, some things can’t wait for Naked Lady Monday. Like Kelley O’Hara in the annual ESPN The Body Issue. I was issued a Lesbian Bat Signal and it is now my duty to respond. That’s just, like, the law - right?

So please, take this Hump Day after a holiday to enjoy USWNT star/congratulatory girlfriend kisser Kelley O’Hara taking it all off for, well um, not exactly science but sports. That still counts, P.E. was a class in school.

In the interview Kelley says her butt is her favorite part of her body, which is the kind of quality, hard-hitting journalism you just can’t put a price on. However, I was rather disappointed that the ESPN interviewer didn’t bother to mention the aforementioned kiss at the end of their World Cup victory. Like, we all have eyes, we all saw. Throw us lesbian, bi, queer and just incredibly attracted to ladies who play soccer ladies a bone. Or, you know, the opposite of a bone - figuratively speaking.

Naked Lady Monday: Sue & Megan Edition

Remember how I always say representations matters? Well, highly toned and incredibly chiseled representation matters, too. Ahem. Fans of everyone’s favorite not-so guilty pleasure, ESPN The Body Issue, were treated to the first-ever out gay couple on its cover this year. Pro basketball’s Sue Bird and pro soccer’s Megan Rapinoe graced the cover and pages of The Body Issue together. And it was good, it was very, very good.



As Megan told the magazine in the accompanying interview:

“I think neither of us really wants to just do things and be like, ‘We're the gay couple.’ But to have this really unique vehicle to actually do that, to celebrate who we are in our sport, but also the fact that we'll be the first gay couple, is pretty special. It's pretty amazing to think about, especially in the times we're in. Just think of how far we've come, but also the current climate and defiance in the face of that. Not only are we female athletes, but we're dating as well. It's kind of badass.”

Have I mentioned this photo shoot, even the strange lost in the forest shots, are very good? Because it is.

Naked Lady Monday

It’s the most wonderful time...of the year. Yes, it’s The Body Issue time, which is here to tide us over with our sporty ladies fix until the Olympics roll around again. This year’s crop features a slew of talented athletes. I’m also pleased they at least tried to pose each of the athletes engaging in poses somewhat related to their sport. No more creampuff shots of naked ladies, dudes. Just naked ladies doing the thing they do best – kicking ass. Fine, that butt shot is pretty, extremely creampuff – the puffiest. But, you know, sometimes a little sweet isn’t so bad. So without further ado-ing, ready, set, naked.

A.J. Andrews, Softball


Kirstie Ennis, Adaptive Sports


Nneka Ogwumike, Basketball


U.S. Women’s National Hockey Team


Ashley Wagner, Figure Skating


Michelle Waterson, MMA


Novlene Williams-Mills, Track & Field


Caroline Wozniacki, Tennis

Naked Lady Monday: Body Issue Edition

Please, you knew this was coming. I can honestly say that I read ESPN magazine for the pictures. Granted, I only “read” it for those pictures once a year. But when I do “read” it I read it cover to cover. Fine, that’s a bit of a lie. I don’t “read” the guy articles. But *low whistle* do I ever “read” the lady ones. What can I say, I am a reader.

Ali Krieger, soccer


Brittney Griner, basketball


Aly Raisman, gymnastics


Paige Selenski, field hockey


Amanda Bingson, hammer


Sadena Parks, golf


Dallas Friday, wakeboarding


Natalie Coughlin, swimmer


Khatuna Lorig, archery


Leticia Bufoni, skateboarding


Bonus Behind, ahem, the Scenes Kriegs

Naked Lady Monday

You know, I haven’t always been the biggest fan of the annual Allure Naked Truth issue. Nothing against naked ladies, obviously. But the images tend to be too Photoshopped and artificial for my taste. If you really want to celebrate truthful female beauty, let some of our so-called flaws show. Otherise it’s just a cheesecake naked photo, you know. As such I tend to prefer the ESPN Body Issue, especially when it showcases the athletes actually doing the athletic feats they’re famous for. But this year’s nude feature is pretty exceptional. It’s not necessarily because actresses I like including “Sleepy Hollow” star Nicole Beharie, “The L Word” alum Sandrine Holt and continual “D.E.B.S.” crush Jordana Brewster are featured. It’s that Laverne Cox is featured. And that, friends, is a big fucking deal. Celebration of beauty in the transgender community is far too often something that has to be taken, instead of given freely. Our rigid, all-too-narrow standards leave out anyone who (as the New York Times would put it) is “less classically beautiful” than the ideal norm. That norm, of course, leaves out most of us. So then to have a black transgender woman be selected to appear in the Allure Naked issue matters. And that’s exactly why Laverne did it:

“I said no initially, thought about it, and said no again. But I’m a black transgender woman. I felt this could be really powerful for the communities that I represent. Black women are not often told that we’re beautiful unless we align with certain standards. Trans women certainly are not told we’re beautiful. Seeing a black transgender woman embracing and loving everything about herself might be inspiring to some other folks. There’s beauty in the things we think are imperfect. That sounds very cliché, but it’s true.”

Now that, that’s beautiful.

Naked Lady Monday: Body Issue Edition

It comes along once a year like Lesbian Christmas. The ESPN Body Issue with naked female (OK, and male too) athletes showing us their assets. It’s a bonanza of flesh and power that I always check out because, um, science? Yeah, definitely science.

Venus Williams, Tennis

Am I the only one who thinks, “Damn, I wonder if that sand is hot on her ass?” during these sorts of situations.

Ginger Huber, Cliff Diving

Yet another in a long series of Sports I Wouldn’t Try, Let Alone Nude.

Danyelle Wolf, Boxing

Ditto from above.

Angel McCoughtry, Basketball

Though naked basketball, that I would definitely watch.

Hilary Knight, Hockey

Naked ice hockey would be a much gentler game, I think.

Jamie Anderson, Snowboarding

I’m always a little less than pleased when they have people – particularly the women – pose in ways that have nothing (or in this case almost nothing) to do with their sports.

Amy Purdy, Paralympic Snowboarding

Another case in point – beautiful image, what does this have to do with snowboarding?

Coco Ho, Surfer

By comparison, isn’t this so much better?

Alia Evans, Bobsled

And this one, too?

Megan Rapinoe, Soccer

Fine, I’ll accept it because it’s Megan and at least there’s a soccer ball. What, they’re all still naked ladies. So I’m easy.