Total Chick Flicks

One of my not-so guilty pleasures is watching female-fronted action films. I will watch almost anything if it has a lady kicking ass. Unfortunately, Hollywood isn’t always on the same boat as demonstrated by the anemic number of female-fronted action franchises. It started in 1979 with “Alien.” And in the almost 30 years since we’ve had just a handful of others. Compare that to the almost infinite number of shitty dude action franchises in those 30 years and, well, Feminist Hulk smash!

Interestingly, two of those sprung up very close together in the early 2000s with “Resident Evil” (started 2002) and “Underworld” (started 2003). Both featured strong, powerful female leads kicking ass and taking names. Sure, these franchises aren’t “Lord of the Rings.” They’re not going to win a boatload of Oscars. But they were both fun and stylish in their own way. Also Kate Beckinsale and Milla Jovovich in lots of leather helped. So, yeah, I watched the hell out of them – many times repeatedly.

So it seems only fitting that both would be back for a new installment at almost the same time early next year. Heck, even their trailers dropped at the same day earlier this month. This means for us ladies hungry to watch other ladies kicking ass will have a smorgasbord to start the New Year. Hey, in this feast-or-famine world of female franchises, you have to enjoy the good times. And I fully intend to.

Just another transvaginal Monday

You know what you need more of this fine Monday? Women saying “vagina.” Sure, “2 Broke Girls” two-hour finale will be on later to fulfill your primetime needs to vaginal discourse. But right now, right now I think we can all agree we could definitely use more vagina. So with that, please let Kate Beckinsale, Judy Greer and Andrea Savage tell government exactly where they’d like it to go. Hint: The word “vagina” is involved.

Tank Top Tuesday

I like my women doing everyday things in tank tops. Because the unique charms of the tank are applicable in almost any situation. Like with our friend Alexandra Hedison grabbing a bite to eat. Glad she decided against buttering that toast though, because we all know her penchant for getting carried away with knives. My point, and do have something close to one, is that the tank top is a versatile accessory which is appropriate for any activity.

Zhang ZiyiWhen considering how best to recycle the morning paper.

Alison LohmanWhen quenching one’s thirst after a day of garden work.

Zoe SaldanaWhen moisturizing before bedtime.

Charlize TheronWhen contemplating the theory of relativity.

Jennifer Tilly & Gina GershonWhen plotting how to rip off the mob and have great lesbian sex.

Jessica BielWhen hunting vampires, duh.

Anna FrielWhen stewing over the injustice of canceling “Pushing Daisies.”

Kate BeckinsaleWhen thoughtfully testing the room temperature before guests arrive. Verdict: It’s a little nippy.

English reserve

Well, now. Um, I’m not sure if I entirely agree that Kate Beckinsale is “The Sexiest Woman Alive.” I mean, she is sexy – of course. But I will say that Kate Beckinsale is the sexiest woman alive to have gone from BBC darling to Michael Bay heroine to vampire warrior to underwear cavorter. Also, why does she look confusingly like Mary-Louise Parker on the cover of “Esquire?”

The magazine’s annual The Sexiest Woman Alive issue is out this month. And following in the scantily-clad footsteps of Halle Berry (2008), Charlize Theron (2007), Scarlett Johansson (2006) and Jessica Biel (2005) is Kate. The magazine teased her appearance atop the sexy heap with these clues:

She is emetophobic.
She is multilingual.
She has been in the same room with Michael Bay at least once.
She hates wearing underwear.
She shares a birthday with three notable actors, two of whom have starred in a film together.
She is not Channing Tatum.

To save you the Googling, “emetophobic” means a fear of vomiting. Almost as random, the Channing Tatum thing. Also, for a gal who apparently hates wearing underwear, Kate sure doesn’t seem to have a problem lounging around in them.

It’s still hard for me to believe that the plucky little 22-year-old English lass who charmed me in “Cold Comfort Farm,” like this:

Turned into the 36-year-old Hollywood siren who struts around on six-inch heels and not that much else for the pages of “Esquire,” like this:

Looking sexier in your 30s than your 20s? You’re doing it right.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Mmmm, tasty, tasty androgyny. I’ve always been a sucker for a lady in a suit. The blending of the traditionally masculine and the wonderfully feminine is just, well, yum. And the blurrier the lines (hello, Tilda Swinton, come sit closer to me) often the better. But it’s more than just the look; it’s also the swagger. Thumbs in pockets. Shoulders squared. Jaw set. How quickly can that lead to jacket on floor? Shirt crumpled. Skin sweaty… Wait…where was I? Oh, yeah. Fuck yeah, gender fuck. [Click any and all to enlarge.]

Natalie PortmanSigourney WeaverKate BeckinsaleAlicia KeysSamantha RonsonKelly ClarksonAlicia Silverstone