Mothers Mothering

I half watched the Actors last weekend. And it had some nice moments. The lovely posthumous acceptance/tribute to Catherine O’Hara. Harrison Ford’s humble, empathetic Lifetime acceptance speech. I’d like to note that it’s a small point of pride that I picked one of the better straight white men as my movie idols from the very start. That’s my Han Solo/Indiana Jones.

Still, because, I have to make it gay somehow, I thought I’d instead comment on these pictures of Connor Storrie being anointed by these Sapphics-Approved Mothers. The “Heated Rivalry” star is fresh off hosting SNL and then this happens? Kathryn Hahn and Sarah Paulson give you their blessing on the same night?

Also, doesn’t the picture with Sarah look like she is an immortal vampire queen and he is her hand-selected son who she sends out into the night to seduce men and women alike, but only to bring the tastiest women back to her for…reasons. You know, just as a suggestion. Meanwhile Kathryn looks like she’s his proud drama teacher. Look, everyone has different fantasy sequences in their heads.

Lesbian Moms All Along

One of the things about us queers is we love a good confirmation. Of course, we know. WE KNOW. But make it official, and then we KNOWWWWWW. You know? So at Paleyfest late last month when “Agatha All Along creator Jac Schaeffer confirmed that Rio (a.k.a. Death a.k.a. Aubrey Plaza) and Agatha (a.k.a. Mother Hahn) were indeed the mothers/fathers of little Nicky – well, cue queer lady squealing everywhere. May we finally have the wink-wink, but never make it official queer representations of the past behind us. Truly, I think confirmations like this must be for the straights in the audience. You know, the folks still out there going, “So, are they roommates?” Harold, they’re lesbians. They’re all lesbians. And they’re lesbianing together. Cue the squealing in 3-2-1.

p.s. Ike knows. He KNOWS.

Vacation Vixen: Agathario

Yep, I’m fleeing for the election. Kidding, I’m going home for my birthday this year. And also kind of fleeing from the election. Look, I don’t judge your coping mechanisms. As I was saying… I am fleeing. But I wouldn’t flee without leaving you with some vixens. Tonight being the finale of “Agatha All Along,” I thought I’d leave you with a little Agathario treat. Sure, I can’t dream of a happy ending for our sapphic witches (wait, is that redundant?) But we all deserve a Disney ending, right? I mean, they let Aubrey show off that decolletage. And Agatha called herself not a “straight lady.” So, maybe anything is possible when you wish upon a lesbian star.

P.s. JFC, give Patti LuPone ALL of the awards for her performance in last week’s episode. “I loved being a witch.” Damn. This show is truly something. And that something is stone cold gay (and good!).

Music Monday: AMSR by Agatha

Admittedly, I’m not sure if ASMR counts as music. But, it is something people listen to so there’s that. Since Marvel is now fully leaning into Agathartio, I thought you might enjoy a little Agatha Coven ASMR to start your week off. Plus, two out of four of the cast featured here are out queers. And the other two, well certainly Patti and Kathryn is on her way, are queer icons. So, this is basically gay ASMR. I particularly enjoyed Aubrey Plaza calling a matchstick “bitch” (:52) and licking her knife (5:16). Also, don’t worry, this is really only 6 minutes but looped for the full hour. Anyone up for an invigorating nap? I mean who wouldn’t want to fall asleep to Aubrey gleefully stabbing logs (4:43)? Also, about Rio screaming, “No, no way! Her mother can't have her!” at the ghost of Agatha's mother? The ex-who knows all about the familial generational trauma vibes are vibing, my friends. Happy Monday, kittens.

Wherefore Art Thou, Agathario

Agathario is canon, y’all! You can’t watch what happened in last week’s episode of “Agatha All Along” and not acknowledge that Kathryn Hahn’s Agatha and Aubrey Plaza’s Rio had a past romantic relationship. All those little looks. All those long looks. That almost freaking kiss. This truly is the gayest Marvel project ever. I mean, just look at these sapphics being sapphic.

I mean even the New York Freaking Times even called Aubrey’s Rio the “romantic antagonist” to Kathryn’s Agatha. If the Paper of Record says it, it’s beyond canon. (Yes, I know, their coverage of many other issues can have many issues, but still...) Anyway, I don’t know what else is in store for Agatha and Rio and all the witches. But I am truly enjoying this show and its ridiculously talented cast. Plus, dissertations could be written about how much chemistry Aubrey Plaza generates between her female costars. Like, she can sizzle with Kristen Stewart and Kathry Hahn – now that’s range.

Agatha (Was Gay) All Along

Well, well, well. Look what show is just begging me to bring back Lesbian Subtext Recaps. Yes, I know, in this year of Our Lesbian Jesus 2024 these should be Maintext Recaps. But, you know, this is Disney, after all. Though all the obviously gay chemistry between Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza in “Agatha All Along” is clearly not just in our heads. These women, well, they know what they’re doing. I just hope as the series goes on, it becomes less nudge-wink and more out there. Because, I mean, how much gay can it get than this already? Let me count the ways.

Agnes of Westview/Witch of Easttown carries coffee like this (and that’s not even counting the flannel.)

Aubrey Plaza’s Rio Vidal is introduced like this. Like she’s lesbian David Caruso or something.

Then she proceeds to tell Agatha this.

And then comes over to her place after work and tells her THIS.

Like the ex vibes are off the charts.

As I was saying.

I rest my case.

So, thoughts?

It’s Agatha Season

Honestly, I was kind of over all the Marvel shenanigans. I’ll watch your Avengers. And some of your spinoff Avengers shows. And some of your spinoff from the spinoff Avenger shows. But, truly, at this point I’m tapped. The MCU? More like Meh-CU – amirite? But then, BUT THEN…Agatha came along. A show with a very strong female lead (at least she’s working on getting her very strong mojo back…). A show about witches. A show about a ragtag coven of witches. A show about a ragtag coven of witches that draws on the Salem lore. A show about a ragtag coven of witches that draws on the Salem lore with Kathryn Hahn! Aubrey Plaza! Patti LuPone! The mom from “That 70s Show!” And SNL alum Sasheer Zamata who just came out as a “late in life lesbian!” And just when I’ve finally settled into spooky season. Yeah, fine. OK, I will happily watch this series. And Emma Caulfield is returning as her WandaVision character for all the Buffy (but not necessarily Joss Whedon) fans out there. As I was saying, yeah, fine. I will watch this in the spirit of the Sanderson Sisters et al. Look, if they can make 10 movies about Spider-Man, they can make a second show about powerful witches. Because, you know, witchy representation matters.

Coven of Gayness, err, Goodness

What, two days of good news in a row? The new “Agatha: Coven of Chaos” (a spinoff from the pretty excellent “WandaVision”) is shaping up to be pretty excellent as well. In addition to its bewitching (see what I did there) lead Kathryn Hahn, the series will star Aubrey Plaza (yes, that Aubrey Plaza) and SNL alum Sasheer Zamata (and also Joe Locke, if you’re a “Heartstopper” fan).

“WandaVision” is by far the favorite so far in the Marvel Television Universe, but then I’m always partial to shows with a so-called Strong Female Lead. And if it’s Strong Female LeadS, well all the better. Look, I’ve been into witchy stuff since at lease Willow and Tara. So I am ready for some coven chaos, and if they smooch then all the better. Do I expect them to smooch? No. But Kathryn, Aubrey and Sasheer have all played gay/smooched ladies on screen already, so why fix what ain’t broke?

p.s. Instead of a Pre-L, this week I’ll just do an premiere episode review instead. I plan to have it up Friday but, again, everything has been moving more slowly for me lately – so intentions and results may not always coincide. I hope to Pre-L the rest of the season, but again we shall see. Thanks for sticking with me.

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The Way Kathryn Hahn Looks At...

If you’re like our household, you’ve been unexpectedly enjoying the heck out of “WandaVision” on Disney+. I honestly hadn’t really expected much out of the superhero show. I thought it’s show-within-a-period-show gimmick was probably just going to be that, a gimmick. But from its meticulous eye for detail when it comes to classic American sitcoms tropes through history to its unexpectedly dark underpinnings (like, no spoilers, but the whole premise for the show is pretty traumatic if you think about it), it has entertained at every turn.

Also, if you’re again like our household, one of the not entirely unexpected things you’ve enjoyed the heck out of about “WandaVision” is Kathryn Hahn’s portrayal of Wanda and Vision’s faithful next-door neighbor Agnes. Now I say not entirely unexpected because whether you realize it or not, you’ve likely thought Kathryn excellent in everything you’ve seen her in before. “Parks & Recreation?” Great! “Transparent?” Wonderful! “Girls?” Oh, man, that was her in “Girls!”

[Spoilers if you haven’t watched the latest episode]

Knowing that Kathryn’s Agnes/Agatha has been the real one behind the weirdness in Westview (well, besides the inherently weird/immoral/truly dark erasing of an entire town’s free will as a monstrous act of unresolved grief). But I relish the idea of Kathryn given a wickedly juicy role to play.

[End Spoilers]

And it’s another good reason to bring back this glorious Kathryn Hahn is smitten with Rachel Weisz clip. I can only hope her most recent work will bring another round of well-deserved critical acclaim which will then bring more well-deserved award consideration which would then result in her being placed on roundtables with other well-deserving actresses so we can recreate this moment. The way Kathryn is adoringly gazing at Rachel is the epitome of the “Get someone who looks at you the way... *blank* … looks at … *blank*” meme. It’s certainly the way any self-respecting queer woman would look at Rachel Weisz. Like either Kathryn is that great of an actress or that smitten with Rachel or both. The evidence speaks for itself.

Lesbian Heart Eyes Forever, Again

kathryn hahn being absolutely smitten by rachel weisz while the carol opening score plays in the background pic.twitter.com/fFqiU2shaP

— miss meri (@tahani_aljamil) March 31, 2019

Well now, Kathryn Hahn staring lustily at Rachel Weisz is giving Kristen Stewart staring lustily at Cate Blanchett a run for her lusty lesbian money. Seriously, I could watch this on a loop all day. Wait, no, I would watch “Carol,” then this video again, then “Carol” again, then this video again. Well, you know the rest.