GGALGG: Oscars Edition

So the thing about this year’s Oscars is they were very, very, veryveryveryvery straight this year. I mean, sure, Ariana Grande opened with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” from “The Wizard of Oz” and then Cynthia Erivo followed with “Home” from “The Whiz” and they both finished with “Defying Gravity.” Ari even had a freaking ruby slipper attached to her back. Which, I mean, sure – that’s a pretty fucking gay way to start things off. But instead of staying gay, the rest of the show was pure “Kansas Rainbow” (this is a deep “Somebody Somewhere” cut – which if you recognize it let’s be real gay together).

But after that? None of the higher-profile queer nominees won (not Cynthia, not Brandi Carlile and Elton John, not Colman Domingo and definitely not Karla Sofía Gascón). The highlights for LGBTQ+ folks was out costume designer Paul Tazewell taking home the trophy for “Wicked” – making him the first Black man to win – and Queen Latifah singing “Ease On Down The Road” (was “The Whiz” the telecast’s true winner?) with Glad trash bags tied to her shoulders.

And can we talk for a moment about how neither of the two “Emilia Perez” winners mentioning the trans community even once in their acceptance speeches? Hello??? If you’re wondering why this movie wasn’t embraced by the LGBTQ+ community, uh, that’s why. When you use us as a plot device without any real intention of representing the greater community, it shows. That and it was a bad movie, period.

Honestly, there wasn’t much SGALGG to speak of from the red carpet either. Like hardly any fun shots of straight actresses trying to Sabrina Carpenter themselves with other straight actresses, so clearly queer sensibilities had a bad night. Also, can we talk about how 25-year-old Mikey Madison pulling a surprise upset for Best Actress over 62-year-old Demi Moore is the perfect postscript to “The Substance,” because yeah.

Even if the awards were very cis and very straight, I’m here to bring the GGALGG because that’s my whole and entire mission statement. Granted, most of the Queer Lady Rainbow Mafia only showed up for the after parties – which is just another sign of our good taste. Ahem.

Cynthia Erivo & Lena Waithe

Had to find a sneaky picture of Cynthia & Lena at the Oscars because they did not pose on the red carpet together and posted individual shots of themselves at the Oscars on their respective Instas. Which, hey, I get keeping your personal lives private. But it’s the Oscars, ladies. Not even one official shot together at the Gay Superbowl?

Marissa Bode & Lauren Brooks

The “Wicked” star brought her girlfriend with her throughout the movie’s award show run and happily posed together on the red carpet so I’m not saying she wins Girlfriend of the Year but she’s definitely not losing Girlfriend of the Year for lack of effort.

Brandi Carlile & Catherine Shepherd Carlile

I love them, I don’t love their abundance of bows. Like was Brandi’s suit inspired by Minnie Mouse, what is happening? Are bows the new carabiners? Explain, universe. Explain.

Queen Latifah & Eboni Nichols

Did a Catholic middle school dance chaperone get to them and say they needed to leave space for the Holy Ghost or what?

Niecy Nash-Betts & Jackie Betts

Thank Sappho for Niecy and Jackie, a queer couple that always looks great together and will give us the Gay Superbowl photos we deserve.

Oprah & Whoopi Goldberg

Fine, while neither is truly family, I think we can all just agree they look like the most stylish couple at Senior Prom Night at their high-end 55+ community.

Laverne Cox & Hari Nef

More trans representation in one photo than the entire production of “Emilia Perez.” Enough said.

Sarah Paulson & Hannah Einbinder

It’s like spare body parts from The Substance and a fashion-forward Dalek from Doctor Who showed up as each other’s dates.

Chappell Roan & Elton John

We have reached Maximum Gay. Any more Gay and we may risk Nuclear Rainbow Overload.

Melanie Lynskey & Jason Ritter

The only straight couple I will include because after seeing Melanie in this Jessica Rabbit getup, every lesbian has reaffirmed her spot on their “Celebrity I So Would” lists. And Jason is just adorable, even though he will fight every single last one of us for lusting after his wife.

Renee Rapp

Speaking of Jessica Rabbit, I’m glad to see Renee embracing her inner – or should I say outer – Jessica as well.

Clea DuVall

Again, this is exactly how I would show up at award shows were I ever to be invited to award shows – or in this case, award show after parties.

Katy M. O’Brian

I love that these are actually pants. Oh you didn’t notice the pants because of the muscles? Yeah, you’re gay.

The Gay Emmys

So how gay were the Emmys? The Oscars better step it up this year, because the Rainbow Mafia looked good, won good at this year’s TV awards fest. I won’t bore you with all the straight winners, etc. etc. (Like, how did I not know that Naomi Watts and Billy Crudup were married? The Straights, I swear.) Anyway, here are the most notably queer shit at this year’s award show.

Jodie Fucking Foster

Really and truly I cannot get enough of this wildly happy, wildly successful, wildly gay era of Jodie’s life and career. Everytime I see her all glammed up with with Alexandra Hedison I think, see, big gay dreams can come true. I hope Jodie signs up for some kind of prestige limited TV series every few years (her, Kate Winslet and Gillian Anderson can rotate seasons) to keep her and Alex on the awards part circuit for our personal enjoyment? What? We can’t get a little residual happiness off her big gay glow these days?

Hacks & Hannah Einbinder

Yes, I know, it’s inappropriate to secretly be an Avorah shipper. But, I mean, deep down we’d all at least like to see what would have happened if Ava hadn’t woken up from that dream when she did, right?

Niecy Nash-Betts & wife Jessica Betts

Honestly, does Niecy not not have the most handsome arm candy always at these things? I swear. It’s almost unfair.

Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

Whereas these two always look like the royal court for the May-December Queer Prom.

Nava Mau & Jessica Gunning

The “Baby Reindeer” LGBTQ+ cast broke ground both with Nava’s nomination and Jessica’s win. Which means I probably should watch “Baby Reindeer” after all, shouldn’t I?

Jane Lynch & Sue Sylvester

I only wish Jane and Ilona Maher interacted onstage instead of Coach Beard, for obvious reasons.

Meredith Baxter & Other TV Moms

Lest we forget, the mom from “Family Ties” came out like 15 years ago. So, my grade-school crush on Michael J. Fox remains vindicated.

Ayo Edebiri & Reba

When you come out as queer, you need to stand next to random queer icons for photos. And, like, I think Reba qualifies, but I may need to consult the rule book since I never followed contemporary country close enough to know for sure about her.

Kristen Kish

Like all that AND she can cook. Again, unfair.

Lily Gladstone & Greta Lee

Like, yeah I know Greta is married to a fella and whatnot. But like you’d hold Lily’s hand too, and you know it.

Jodie & Kali Reis

I amend my previous statement, where I want Jodie to put up every other season or so in a prestige limited series. I want Jodie to put up every other season or so in a prestige limited series that features out LGBTQ+ cast and other marginalized voices. Because, you want more pictures like this too, right? Right.

More Like Gay-mmys

Hey, the delayed Emmys were pretty cool. At least they didn’t have a host who blamed the writers for bombing. Also, some fairly gay stuff happened. Also, I guess this really means I should start watching “The Bear.” Also, fine, yes I know I already featured Tina and Amy. But they almost look like they might kiss here and I have an active imagination.

1) In an evening of pretty good speeches, Niecy Nash-Betts gave the nights most impassioned and most empowering speech. Also did you see her wife, Jessica Betts, escort her up to the Emmy steps? Hot.

2) Pedro Pascal brought his sister, trans actress and activist Lux Pascal, as his date because fuck the right wing persecution of trans existence.

3) Bringing a sister was a trend, as Aubrey Plaza brought hers too. Also very resourceful of her to wear her hotel mending kit as a dress. More reason Abby should have picked her instead of Harper.

4) Don’t fear drag queens, give them Emmys. So sayeth Ru, amen.

5) Like, I mean, the show was so gay they gave GLAAD an award. And you’d better believe I loved seeing Wilson Cruz standing on stage because his LGBTQ+ advocacy throughout his entire career has been so very Rickie Vasquez of him.

6) Fine, there’s nothing gay about Amy Poehler and Natasha Lyonne. But, dammit if there shouldn’t be.

7) While we’re wishing for things, how about a women of a certain (awesome) age lesbian rom-com starring Jennifer Coolidge and Lorraine Bracco? I mean, Jennifer already thanked us “evil gays,” so you know the built-in fanbase is ready. Think of it, Stifler’s Mom and Mama Rizzoli. Make it so, evil gays!

8) Speaking of lesbian rom-coms, I would also watch this movie. Hannah Waddingham and Ariana DeBose could totally do the thing.

9) While there was nothing gay about these two moments either I just thought they were wonderful passing of the torches/trophies from different generations of female comedy geniuses to another.

10) Jodie Foster. Yeah, any time she shows up and throws on a suit jacket I’m gonna notice. Obviously.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Award-Winning Suits

While going down the rabbit hole of Cate Blanchett flirting with hot women at award shows, I noticed something rather great about the Critics Choice Awards. This is the award show that should probably take the Golden Globes's place in that it brings TV and movie stars together, plies them with alcohol and lets them loose in front of the camera - but without the much-publicized scandals and racism so far. Anyway, what I noticed is that many more women and non-cis men wore suits to the ceremony. And, well, you know my feelings about everyone who is not a cis dude — particularly cis het white dudes — wearing suits. Namely, that I love it and demand more. So here’s a little taste of all the suit-wearing women, non-binary and other folx who suited up for the Critics Choice. Eat that, Golden Globes.

Niecy Nash-Betts & Jessica Betts

Jessica and Niecy are, hands down, among the best dressed — if not The Best Dressed — couple at every award show they attend. Like, who does Jessica’s tailoring, because *low whistle*

D'Arcy Carden

She did this for the ALOTO gays and we’re so thankful to her for it.

Nina Hoss

Look, if I played Cate Blanchett’s wife in a movie I’d only ever walk around in tuxedos afterward as well. Because, you know, fancy.

Bre-Z & Samantha Logan

I didn’t know these former “All-American” co-stars before they showed up in suits together but I sure do now — particularly Bre-Z. Hello.

Amber Ruffin

Are those little crystal geckos on her suit?

Britt Lower

I’m warming up to suits with capes. Like I feel like I could enter my suits-with-capes era any day now. (Kidding, I legit only wear soft pants 95% of my days now.)

Frankie Corio & Charlotte Wells

You should see “Aftersun,” a beautiful, unhurried, melancholic coming of age story with built-in queerness, and not just because its young star Frankie and debut writer-director Charlotte wore suits to the award show together.

Fortune Feimster & Jacquelyn Smith

Not to be outdone by Niecy and Jessica, Fortune and Jacquelyn also cleaned up real nice for the red carpet. Real nice.

Ayo Edebiri

I haven’t watched “The Bear,” but if it’s as interesting as this outfit maybe I should. I mean, the knee socks alone!

Sarah Polley

This suit is so relatable, I’m pretty sure I’ve worn almost the same thing to an awards ceremony before.

Christina Applegate

Now that’s how you swagger into an award show when you’re immunocompromised — suit, cane, Docs, mask.

Natasha Lyonne, Milly Alcock & Emma D'Arcy

Fine, this was at the Golden Globes, but Emma describing their outfit as “child piano prodigy, and maybe the recital’s not going well” was perfect. No notes.

Ke Huy Quan & Echo Quan

As long as we’re going to bring up the Globes, Ke’s wife wore this tuxedo and that’s a yes in very parallel universe imaginable.