The Good End

Tonight we say goodbye to a friends. A good, thoughtful, hilarious, philosophical, zany, unpredictable, romantic, compassionate, and always entertaining friend – who also swears kinda funny. Sure, some may argue you can’t actually be friends with a television show. But then some others may argue you can’t premise an entire television show on the question, “What does it mean to be a good person?” Yet here we are.

I have absolutely no idea how “The Good Place” will end tonight. This series has been predictably unpredictable throughout its four seasons. While it’s painful to let it go after such a small handful of years, it also feels right. All stories, even the great ones, come to an end.

What makes “The Good Place” so good is not only its quality – which has never truly wavered – but its insistence that answering life’s biggest questions is something a network sitcom should totally tackle. It helps that the cast is beyond fantastic. The writing is top notch (not that we would expect less from the guy behind “The Office” and “Parks & Rec”).

Like I can’t wait to catch all the forkin’ amazing details I missed when I do an entire series rewatch. I mean, I’d watch a whole spin-off about Janet and all the Janets alone. And, look, I’m a full-on lesbian, but Manny Jacinto’s cheekbones can call me anytime.

Granted, Eleanor’s bisexuality may be relatively canon, but alas it was never truly acted upon on screen. But, goodness, what other delights this show has given us. And in a way it’s a perfect antidote to the cynical and tribalistic times we live in. To be able to enjoy “The Good Place,” you have to look beyond yourself. A narcissist would hate this show because it asks us to examine at our shared humanity. Just ask reformed narcissist Tahani Al-Jamil.

And, in the midst of addressing all this big-ticket The Meaning of Life stuff, the show was also fun. Like a lot of fun. So yes, Virginia, a show can be deeply fun and deeply deep at the same time. It’s sort of like magic. Or, you know, just really good TV.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Female Excellence Edition

A new year is a new chance to shine light on deserving women. So let’s start off 2020 with a by no means comprehensive list of excellent women whose excellence I would like to see a lot more of on the large and small screen – and really all over – this year. Now wouldn't that be most excellent? And, if I may, a gentle plea to put them on the screen wearing suits. Just saying, they all know how excellent they look wearing them.

Saoirse Ronan

She was excellent as Jo in “Little Women,” but then she is excellent in everything.

Awkwafina

She was excellent in “The Farewell,” and I am soooo looking forward to “Nora from Queens.”

Kristin Scott Thomas

She was excellent as a lesbian in “Fleabag,” and we should see her as a lesbian in more things.

Brandi Carlile

She is excellent each time she opens her mouth, and here’s hoping I get to see her do it again live this year.

Janelle Monae

She was excellent with Tessa Thompson, and here’s hoping they can be excellent some more together in the new year.

Lena Headey

She is so much more excellent than Cersei Lannister, and she deserves a better on-screen fate in 2020.

Tatiana Maslany

She is excellence personified and WHY HASN’T ANYONE CAST HER AS THE STAR OF THEIR SHOW YET?

Jameela Jamil

She is so excellent on “The Good Place,” and if she isn’t snapped up immediately for some wonderfully comedic starring role everyone in forking stupid. But then, look who our president is.

Katie McGrath

Yeah I know she’s still making excellent flirt eyes at Supergirl, but wouldn’t it be so excellent if she also got to make flirt eyes at a lady who is unquestionably lesbian in another unquestionably lesbian role? Just a thought.

Ellen Page

So “The Umbrella Academy” wasn’t as excellent as I’d hoped, but there is always hope for Season 2 and her excellently creepy new white eyes.

Lupita Nyong'o & Danai Gurira

They’re were excellent in “Black Panther,” now make a superhero movie about them where they’re a couple. Look, as long as we’re wishing for excellent things.

Tina Fey

My most excellent Fake TV/Movie Wife will always make any list about excellence. Period.

Cate Blanchett

Look, I’ve had the most excellent idea. “Carol 2.” Everything gets revived these days, why not the greatest lesbian movie of the last decade? As I was saying, excellent idea.

The Blooper Place

Oh, look, you can swear in “The Good Place.” Also “The Bad Place.” But, as always, its best in bloopers. So, enjoy. I can’t think of a better way to start your week than reveling in simple human failure. Also, there’s Kristen Bell kissing Not A Robot, which is always a plus.

Fetch Us Our Axes

Fetch us our axe, we’ve all got grinding to do. Look, these are extraordinarily shitty times (To recap: Muslim ban, children in cages, trans military ban, unprecedented corporate tax cuts, eroding LGBTQ civil liberties, vanishing abortion access for all and bodily autonomy for all people with uteruses, lifetime appointments for unqualified and unhinged federal judges, Neil Gorsuch, Brett Kavanaugh, willfully ignoring the looming extinction-level threat of climate change, et al). So we need to take extraordinarily aggressive counteraction. And while I’m not saying we should all take up and axe and smash the patriarchy, literally. But figuratively? Get it ladies. Unleash your Inner Joan Crawford. (Or Inner Buffy, or Inner Johanna, or Inner Tahani, Or Inner Emma Watson, Or Inner Rosario Dawson, Inner Tam-Tam, Inner Walmart Lady, Inner Menstrual Tina Fey, et al.) We’ve got some major chopping to do.



I mean, as Det. Rosa Diaz was saying.



p.s. p.s. Just a reminder, this is my personal blog which I have been writing daily for 13 years without any kind of financial compensation and I in turn provide entirely free to anyone who cares to stop and read without any advertising or other commercial distractions. As such, I say whatever the fuck I want whenever the fuck I want. So if any so-called progressive lesbians want to defend conservatism in the United States here, you are more than welcome to stop reading and leave. Because I will never, ever condone the kind of greedy, small-minded, hate-filled and me-at-all-costs thinking that the G.O.P. and conservatism stands for today.

SGALGG: Golden Globes Edition

True story: My power went out about an hour into the Golden Globes and didn’t come back until just a few minutes before the show ended. So I had to catch a repeat to watch the second half. It was a lot of effort for a kind of s0-so show, but that’s just the lengths I’ll go to give you quality Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals action (sprinkled with some Gay Gals Acting Like Gay Gals, because we are legion).

Sandra Oh & Jodie Comer

Sandra so rightfully won, but Jodie and the show were robbed. Still, when Eve and Villanelle hold hands and gaze into each other’s eyes, we all win.

Emma Stone, Olivia Colman & Rachel Weisz

I want these three to come out hand-in-hand cracking lesbian sex jokes at all award shows.

p.s. Thanks for, quite literally, shouting how sorry you were for taking an Asian role in “Aloha,” Emma.

Amy Poehler & Maya Rudolph

If Amy is going to cheat on Tina, I’d only ever want it to be with Maya.

Judy Greer

Every time a female celebrity wears a tuxedo on the red carpet, a baby dyke gets her wings.

Alex Borstein & Rachel Brosnahan

“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” may be having a hard time making Susie officially gay. But Rachel seems to be having no problem checking out Alex’s, uh, Borsteins – if you get my drift. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.

Emily Blunt & Debra Messing

Since we’re talking about Borsteins, Emily is being vey animated about what she plans to do to Debra’s.

Halle Berry & Lena Waithe

I believe sexual orientation is largely genetic. But you can almost see Halle mentally switching teams as she holds hands with Lena here.

Olivia Colman & Glenn Close

Olivia and Glenn just heard Rachel tell them about the “tongue lashing” they’re going to receive from her later and they’re clearly excited.

D’arcy Carden & Jameela Jamil

In real (after)life, Janet would totally fall for Tahani instead of that dum-dum Jason.

Marin Hinkle & Rachel Brosnahan

Blah, blah, blah – I know they play mother-daughter on screen. But that’s acting people. Award-winning acting.

Patricia Clarkson & Amy Adams

Again, yes, yes, yes, I know they played mother-daughter. But it’s called acting, people. Equally award-winning acting.

Regina King & Tiffany Haddish

Regina promised to make all of her projects at least 50 percent female moving forward. I suggest she starts with Tiffany – in her pants. Too much? Did I mention my power went out for a while?

Jamie Lee Curtis

Fine, she’s not doing anything particularly gay. But she looks awesome and I think awesome things are gay. So, there you go.

Lupita Nyong’o, Danai Gurira & Janelle Monáe

I wanna be a fly on that wall…

Oh, look – now we can be! Thanks, Lupita & Danai.

When the cat’s away... pic.twitter.com/jFu7IJ4ATW

— Lupita Nyong'o (@Lupita_Nyongo) January 7, 2019

Gender Fuck Thursday: Women in Black Edition

Time for some classic black suits. Single breasted. Double breasted. With a pinstripe. With a tuxedo cut. With a tie. Without a tie. Without a shirt. They’re all good. They’ve all very good on women. Very, very, very good. But don’t take my and Ellen Page’s word for it. Please witness my irrefutable proof.

Jameela Jamil

I am so behind on “The Good Place” and I feel terrible about it. Further proof we’re living in The Bad Place.

Carey Mulligan Michelle Williams

Chuck Taylors + a delicate pinstripe + a loose tie = the best maths.

*In my defense, many blonde white women with pixie cuts look alike.

Diane Lane

Shirts are overrated anyway.

Janelle Monae

Jaunty hat game on point. As, of course, is everything else.

Pink & her daughter Willow

Yes, start them young on the path towards suits.

Vacation Vixen: Jameela Jamil

I told you she was awesome.

The Dismantling the Patriarchy Place

Hey, are you watching “The Good Place?” Of course you are. Do you love Tahani? Of course you love Tahani. Well please enjoy her actress Jameela Jamil talking about how the Kardashians and their “influencer” ilk as “double agents of the patriarchy.” Something to think about as her husband goes to the White House today to talk with his buddy The Hate Cheeto.

Oh, and be sure to watch “The Good Place” tonight instead of, say, the news. No one needs to see that meeting of the, uh, “minds.”

The Good Bloopers

I am not going to lie, I could watch 24-hours straight of Jameela Jamil flubbing her lines and saying, “Fuck me!” Alternately, I will accept a 48-hour steam of her exclaiming, “Fuck! Bollocks! Wank! Spider-Man! Shitface! Fuck!” Dear sweet merciful Zeus, I miss this show.

The Baking Place

My favorite big, beautiful, utterly perfect cartoon giraffe will always be Jameela Jamil. She may be a “hot, rich fraud with legs for days,” but she’s our hot, rich fraud with legs for days. Side note, everyone should really be into Tahani. So nothing could delight me more than finding out Jameela, from one of my favorite TV shows “The Good Place” was on my favorite TV baking show, “The Great British Bake Off” – or, as I like to call it, “Televised Xanax.” Seriously, if the garbage everything about the world ever gets you too down, pop on a couple seasons of GBBO (or “The Great British Baking Show” as American TV insists on calling it) and your troubles will fade away amidst the lovely English countryside and beautifully baked meringues. Heck, even the not so beautifully baked ones are wonderful, as Jameela will attest. She was on a charity Comic Relief Bake Off episode and, well, let’s just say at least she didn’t kill Mary Berry. Still, despite being mortified by her performance, Jameela said in an interview that, “To meet (Mary Berry) and then disappoint her face-to-face is really still one of the greatest things to happen to me.” I just love it when two great things come together, even if one of them is terrible at it. Enjoy, kittens, enjoy.



p.s. “The Good Place” is on tonight and this season is so good and so stressful. I love it more than pie.

The Good Reel

Look, I know I beg you guys a lot to watch “The Good Place.” Which you should, you 100 percent absolutely should. And from the beginning. Don’t jump in midway and/or read spoilers because being surprised by this consistently surprising (in a forking great way) show it a major part of its charm. Anyway, I bring this up because here is part of the gag reel from Season 1 that was just released (don’t worry, they aren’t spoilery).

But what they do is reinforce my favorite stealth ship, Eleanor and Tahani. Yes, they’ve more than hinted at Eleanor genuinely being into Tahani. And yes, Tahani actress Jameela Jamil‏ has actively rooted for the ship on multiple occasions on Twitter. All I need to know is whether they have a portmanteau yet. Elhani? Taleanor? Shell-Al? Al-Strop?

“The Good Place” airs at 8:30 p.m. Thursdays, but, again – watch it from the beginning. Have I mentioned it’s on Netflix? Have I mentioned you should watch it?

Vacation Vixen: The Good Place

Guess what, I’m on vacation! I’ve got some time off so I am flying back to the Midwest to hang with my family while I try to forget we have a toxic trash fire as president. Unfortunately, I will be flying United (it’s way too late and too expensive at this point to change carriers, I checked). So hopefully I make it there and back without being beaten bloody, yanked from my seat or dragged through the aisles. But, ever the wily business people, I’m sure the airline will simply turn this into a moneymaking opportunity by offering “less beatings” as an upgrade fee soon, just like “more legroom.”

Anyway. While I am gone I will, of course, be leaving you some vixens to enjoy. But before I leave, as a public service might I re-suggest a show for any of you who find a little free time and/or need to escape the smoldering trash heap of our current democracy. As I’ve said before, “The Good Place” is a great, weird, highly entertaining show. And if all those adjectives won’t convince you, perhaps the fact that main character Eleanor (played by the always engaging Kristen Bell) might genuinely be into Tahani (played by the completely worthy of being into Jameela Jamil). Plus, now that the show has been renewed for a second season, perhaps the series will do more than just flirt with the idea. No time like the present. See you on the flip side, kittens.