Music Monday: Gone Girls Edition

Is it just me, or does this video give off a strong Mad Max Fury Road meets Andro Queer Performance Art meets 80s High Femme Bondage vibe or what? Which, obviously, are all my favorite genres to squeeze into a music video, duh. So I guess I owe an enormous debt to Charli xcx & Christine and the Queens for nailing my exact aesthetic with “Gone.” (Kidding, my aesthetic is all those plus the scene in a Pixar movie that always makes you cry.)

Anyway, where was I? Right, this music video. Now correct me if I’m wrong – because I am in no way a music historian and also my memory is absolutely rubbish – but this is also one of the first times that two female mainstream solo artists sang what is essentially a sexy love song duet explicitly to each other in a music video? Right? Like, “Me Against the Music” was an obvious Madonna/Britney tease and we all remember t.A.T.u. But, yeah, it’s still remarkably rare to see a song featuring two female artists like this (also where at least one if queer and out, meaning Christine and the Queens – sorry I had to Google Charli XCX as is just to figure out what songs she sang, I have no seriously idea how she identifies).

So, with that, I shall watch it again. You know, for science. And, uh, history. And stuff.

Tank Top Tuesday: Technically Edition

Right, fine, so technically they aren’t all wearing tank tops in the above image. But I think, deep down, in spirit they are. Goodness, I had forgotten how much I loved seeing the ladies of the United States Women’s National Team all over the place. So consider this a little refresher for everyone. Plus, you know, who can resist a good tank top – even if only in spirit.

Beyoncé

Technically, this is a swimsuit. But, as I always say, a swimsuit is just a tank top that doesn’t know when to stop.

Alycia Debnam-Carey

Technically, this is a muscle shirt. But, girl, the boots more than make up for that.

Zoe Kravitz

Technically, this is a camisole. But, we all know, a camisole is just a tank top that wants to Netflix and chill.

Brandi Carlile

Technically, this is a vest. But, duh, that makes it even gayer.

Pink

Technically, this is just netting. But, please, like you’re complaining.

Winona Ryder

Technically, this is overalls. But, yeah, overalls.

Christine and the Queens

Technically, this is really a tank top. But, I told you, I am just really into her music right now.

Music Monday: Christine and the Queens

If you’re still scarred by French Lesbianism because of all the spaghetti and scissoring of “Blue Is the Warmest Color,” mon petits choux, do I have the perfect salve for you. Granted, I’m not nearly the kind of person who goes around bragging about liking some artist before they were cool. I’ve never even claimed to be cool. But I do think French singer Héloïse Letissier, who goes by the stage name Christine and the Queens, is very, very cool. So cool, I actually am not sure if I’m allowed to write about her. I’m probably not cool enough.

But enough about my uncoolness, onto her infinite coolness. First and foremost, she is French, which always has that certain je ne sais quoi about it. Second, she is queer – describing herself in pansexual and possessing a post-gender swagger about her with a proven affinity for long hair, suits, tank tops and glitter. Third she just released her American self-titled debut and is touring the states. Fourth, all of her music videos are basically amazing, even if I don’t know what she is singing about half of the time. Fifth, she can dance, dammit. Sixth, but really, check out her dancing in those videos where she will remind you of a heavenly mashup of Michael Jackson, Fiest, Laurie Anderson and that one amazing modern dance recital you went to in college that totally blew your mind. And, finally, seventh, I really like her sound. Yes, all that and her music is good, too.





Drake’s dorky “Hotline Bling” dancing has nothing on Christine. Like, in this video she does nothing but sit in a folding chair (while crooning some choice Kanye West) and I was riveted the whole damn time.



So, anyway, to repeat: I am not cool, but big oui to this Christine and the Queens lady who most certainly is. Fin.