SGALGG/GGALGG: Gay Golden Gals Edition

As SGALGG has evolved over the years, I think a not-insignificant small sign of progress has been how many out gay gals have snuck in as well. They originally started because, well, there weren’t enough queer celebrities to fill a post so straight acting like gay gals had to do. But these days so many celesbians and queerebrities (I dunno, I’m trying out a new word, just go with it) you could practically post just about them. In fact, I think I will. So here are all the gay gals acting like gay gals (sometimes with other gay gals, sometimes with the obligatory straight gals – not that there’s anything wrong with that. We’re here, we’re queer, and our Globes are totally golden.

Jodie Foster

Jodie’s evolution into our reigning Lesbian Elder Stateswoman (LES, for short because of course) has been a true joy to watch. She’s married, she’s winning awards, she’s looking great and she’s doing it all on her own terms. And those terms are stone-cold gay. May we all become the biggest LES possible! Also Jodie showing up with her son instead of wife at the Globes is s true mombian flex. I not-so-secretly hope that Alexandra said take the kid, I’m going to watch it in my PJs like before. Though, I also not-so-secretly hope that Jodie sitting on Kate Winslet’s lap has made Alex reconsider attending next year. That, or the sight of her throupling with Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons. Or, possibly, the death-grip Nicole has on her wrists here. Just saying.

Angelina Jolie

They say three makes a trend but we’re talking about queer women here so two will do (what, we move all relationships faster – it’s kind of our thing). The Globes were apparently also Bring Your Child to World day for the queer female nominees. Following in Jodie’s footsteps, Angie showed up with daughter Zahara. She also got hugged by Kate Winslet (Jodie and Angie? Shoot your shots, Kate) and stood very close to Salma Hayek. We’ll take all the beauty proximity we can get.

Ayo Edebiri

Like I don’t know if Ayo has ever openly dated a woman before (at least not in public since she got famous, that I can tell…), but she sure is shooting her shot at becoming the next queer female heartthrob in this suit. First of all, LOVE the golden feather tie. Second of all, love the swagger. Third of all, love all the flirting with Zendaya, Ali Wong, Andrew Scott and, of course, Michelle Yeoh. Oh, and then showing up at the afterparty with a ballcap on? Shots shot.

Cynthia Erivo

I spotted Lena Waithe in the background, so relax everyone. Cynthia continues to live her best gay life. Like who wouldn’t be thrilled to meet Kathy Bates/Evelyn Couch, or sneak a snuggle with Zoe Kravitz or cling to Kate Winslet’s shoulder like she’s a piece of door floating in the icy North Atlantic Ocean?

Sarah Paulson

Dearest, we already did the Cate/Carol thing. But after seeing this photo doesn’t it feel canonically impossible that Sarah isn’t in the second “Wicked” movie somehow? Like, that much queer energy needs to include some Paulson. Make it happen, gay GCI wizards. You have until November.

Emma D'Arcy

I applaud Emma for continuing to show up on red carpets looking like a haunted orchestra conductor. I also applaud them for checking out Michelle Yeoh on the red carpet, as one should to be respectful/horny.

Hannah Einbinder

Speaking of showing respect, I respect the way Hannah makes her and Jean Smart look like the one May-December couple you can’t stop shipping despite all the problematic everythings. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not into Ava and Deborah. But I am totally into Hannah and Jean. What, I already admitted it was problematic, but the heart wants what it wants.

Auliʻi Cravalho

Since we’re talking queer female heartthrobs, hello. Gen Z, why are you sleeping on Auliʻi Cravalho? Like, I am in a totally different age bracket. But if I was a quarter century younger? Yeah, I’d want to be that rose. Youths, act appropriately.

Jessica Gunning

The “Baby Reindeer” star and newly minted Golden Globe winner scores major queer points for getting her award from THE Kathy Bates (every queer gal is doing it, see above). I hope she whispered “Towanda!” when accepting the trophy from her.

Kali Reis

I couldn’t find any pictures of Kali and her fine-ass suit hanging with any other celebrities at the Globes. But I did see her connecting with Kathryn Hahn the night before at a Globes pre-party in a different fine-ass suit. So, you know, Gay Card stamped, approved and notarized.

So, any favorite queer moments of the night for you?

The Gay Emmys

So how gay were the Emmys? The Oscars better step it up this year, because the Rainbow Mafia looked good, won good at this year’s TV awards fest. I won’t bore you with all the straight winners, etc. etc. (Like, how did I not know that Naomi Watts and Billy Crudup were married? The Straights, I swear.) Anyway, here are the most notably queer shit at this year’s award show.

Jodie Fucking Foster

Really and truly I cannot get enough of this wildly happy, wildly successful, wildly gay era of Jodie’s life and career. Everytime I see her all glammed up with with Alexandra Hedison I think, see, big gay dreams can come true. I hope Jodie signs up for some kind of prestige limited TV series every few years (her, Kate Winslet and Gillian Anderson can rotate seasons) to keep her and Alex on the awards part circuit for our personal enjoyment? What? We can’t get a little residual happiness off her big gay glow these days?

Hacks & Hannah Einbinder

Yes, I know, it’s inappropriate to secretly be an Avorah shipper. But, I mean, deep down we’d all at least like to see what would have happened if Ava hadn’t woken up from that dream when she did, right?

Niecy Nash-Betts & wife Jessica Betts

Honestly, does Niecy not not have the most handsome arm candy always at these things? I swear. It’s almost unfair.

Sarah Paulson & Holland Taylor

Whereas these two always look like the royal court for the May-December Queer Prom.

Nava Mau & Jessica Gunning

The “Baby Reindeer” LGBTQ+ cast broke ground both with Nava’s nomination and Jessica’s win. Which means I probably should watch “Baby Reindeer” after all, shouldn’t I?

Jane Lynch & Sue Sylvester

I only wish Jane and Ilona Maher interacted onstage instead of Coach Beard, for obvious reasons.

Meredith Baxter & Other TV Moms

Lest we forget, the mom from “Family Ties” came out like 15 years ago. So, my grade-school crush on Michael J. Fox remains vindicated.

Ayo Edebiri & Reba

When you come out as queer, you need to stand next to random queer icons for photos. And, like, I think Reba qualifies, but I may need to consult the rule book since I never followed contemporary country close enough to know for sure about her.

Kristen Kish

Like all that AND she can cook. Again, unfair.

Lily Gladstone & Greta Lee

Like, yeah I know Greta is married to a fella and whatnot. But like you’d hold Lily’s hand too, and you know it.

Jodie & Kali Reis

I amend my previous statement, where I want Jodie to put up every other season or so in a prestige limited series. I want Jodie to put up every other season or so in a prestige limited series that features out LGBTQ+ cast and other marginalized voices. Because, you want more pictures like this too, right? Right.

Good Night Country

So, I hope you’ve had a chance to watch the season finale of “True Detective: Night County” because hot damn do I want to talk about it. The series, while leaving some things purposefully ambiguous, stuck the landing as far as I’m concerned. No, it wasn’t perfect. But goodness was it satisfying.

The fourth season of the anthology series was no doubt deeply gratifying for its intended audience. And I should know, because I am exactly that intended audience. A viewer who loves complex mystery narratives, but is bored by the genre’s tendency to mythologize its Complicated/Suffering Men.

“Night Country” can best be read as a photo negative of the original “True Detective” a decade ago. That series was unapologetically all about its dual male leads, a male creator and male sensibilities (and self importance, ahem). So you can see why its fanboys might feel as if the new season is a huge departure with its dual female leads, female creator and similarly unapologetic female narratives. But, you know what fellas? We’re more than half the world’s population. You can watch one season about us, it won’t kill you. Probably.

Season 4 creator Issa Lopez defly straddled the line between the sensible and the supernatural, leaving it up to us how we want to interpret everything we’ve seen. To guide our journey to whatever truth might be out there are Arctic Mulder/Scully archetypes in believer Navarro (Kali Reis) and skeptic Danvers (Jodie Foster). But the truth about Night Country is not all questions have an answer – just like in real life.

Now, as is so tiresomely always the case, not everyone is thrilled about this shift to female-centered storytelling. Chief among the whiny men brigade is series creator Nic Pizzolatto, who spent last weekend reposting (and then deleting) post after post from his fanboys criticizing the new season of the anthology series (and, naturally, stroking his own ego and other parts).

It should be noted that Pizzolatto was not involved in any of the creative decisions in “Night Country.” And given what I’d read about him behind the scenes from his former glory days of Season 1, I continue to feel entirely justified in skipping his seasons. What can I say, thin-skinned pseudo-intellectual macho posturing just isn’t my thing. I’ll let Kali have the last word (and then some) because, um, you’ve seen what Kali looks like, right? I’ve also seen what Pizzolatto looks like, and that ain’t a fair fight – for him, obviously. Damn, girl.

🙄😐 That’s a damn shame…but hey I guess “if you don’t have anything good to share, shit on others” is the new wave 🤷🏽‍♀️ lol https://t.co/4EOvu0oPSu

— Kali Reis (@KO_Reis86) February 20, 2024

SPOILERS FOR THE SEASON FINALE AHEAD

Now that we all know how Annie K’s murder ties into the deaths of the male researchers at the Alaskan outpost, the show’s take on frontier justice feels at once familiar and invigorating. Vengeance stories are nothing new for men. There’s a whole comic named Punisher, after all. But female vengeance stories, they’re so fertile given the millennia of injustices at the hands of, you guessed it, men we have to draw from. So that was a real, fuck yeah moment for me when watching the finale.

The other fuck yeah moment was the very, very end. That last image. The one people keep calling “ambiguous,” but I read as 100% stone-cold gay. That’s unequivocally Navarro appearing on Danver’s lake house deck. My interpretation is she came back, like Danvers said, from the Ice and they’re now living their best lives together. But it’s still just as gay if you read it as Navarro’s ghost coming back to visit – and not haunt – Danvers in a tranquil, romantic setting. Like, I don’t know if this is one of those cases of the straight world reading queer women through history as “just roommates” or “best gal pals.” But there is an unquestionably gay reading to the final scene which fulfills the unspoken promise of a series where both leads looked SO DAMN GAY the whole time. Like, even the most oblivious straight people must recognize Jodie and Kali’s aesthetics as capital L Lesbian, right?

So, thoughts, theories? Honestly, even if I didn’t love the series it’d be worthwhile to have this female-fronted version because it makes all the right people mad. Luckily, I also loved the series. I mean, you get that many talented women together, how could you not? We’re watching, and we’re awake.

My Weekend (TV) Crush

Hot damn (or cold damn, given the context), I am already really into “True Detective: Night Country.” I mean, I’m a fan of most things Jodie Foster does. But when you give her a badge and sic her on a truly terrifying case, well, the lambs are screaming — for joy in my heart. I’ve been excited for Night Country since it was first announced, and my impatience only grew as the great reviews kept rolling in. But now, after just one episode, I’m already pretty sure it’ll be one of my favorite watches of 2024, less than 20 days into this new year.

Why? Well, I already mentioned Jodie in a uniform, and that stern but always smart air of authority she carries. Also, it appears her daughter (or step daughter, or minor female child she is guardian for — they haven’t made that 100% clear yet, but there’s some tragic backstory coming clearly) is queer. That’s now two female detective shows I watch with lesbian daughters for those keeping score. (You should watch “Annika” too, totally different show, but also built around a very smart, very capable woman.)

But back to what makes Night Country so good. Jodie, teamed with the equally magnetic Kali Reis (who is a relative newcomer to acting, but obviously not smoldering) make a compelling team despite their obvious on-screen loathing for one another. And there’s even another notable role for Fiona Shaw, who appears to be a rugged individualist who sees dead people (instead of, say, a calculating assassin wrangler/international powerbroker/happily ever after killer).

Still not convinced? Well, there’s the show’s female writer-director Issa Lopez, highlighting of the plight of indigenous women and has two female stars as lead for the first time in the acclaimed HBO/Max anthology crime show’s history. Oh, and there’s some spooky, supernaturally vibes, too. And a one-eyed polar bear. And soooo many hats and parkas. As I was saying, you should probably just watch. I know I can’t wait until Sunday. Happy weekend, all.

True Jodie

Here is something else to look forward to this year. In just 10 days we’ll get to watch Jodie Foster get her ice-cold (quite literally) detective on. I haven’t really watched any of the “True Detective” anthology – until now. Because until now they were largely men’s detective stories. So many, many men. But now, with Jodie and co-star Kali Reis, the series has two female leads for the first time, and also a lot of parkas. Not that those two are related, just an observation.

As a longtime member of the Jodie Foster Fan Club (hello, My First Weekend Crush), I am thrilled to see her enter a new, creative on-screen era. I was worried we’d seen the last of her in front of the camera in favor for her directing work. But now after “Nyad” and “Night Country,” I cannot wait to see what she does next. And also watch this, I cannot wait to watch this. (Though, given the parka quotient, I am guessing we will not be treated to those abs again. Shame. But, as I was saying, more reason to be excited about Jodie's future.)

Foster The Night

Welcome to MAX week where I continue to complain about one of the best networks/streamers (HBO/HBO Max) now just being Max and adding a bunch of dumb Discovery shit and unwanted Harry Potter content to our lives. But, because exceptions prove the rule, there are some new shows coming up that certainly pique my very lesbian interest. Like, hello, Jodie Foster. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her in a police uniform before and, welp. I know ACAB, but how about fictional cops? Those iceberg-blue eyes and that deep queer lady catnip voice. Oops, did I just do a crime? My bad, arrest me.

Now, I was going to watch “True Detective: Night Country” anyway because it’s a crime drama with co-female leads in Jodie as Chief of Police Liz Danvers and boxer-turned-actress Kali Reis as Detective Evangeline Navarro. But I know (thanks, Autostraddle) that I’m not the only one who raised a bit of an eyebrow at the enemies-plus-benefits potential of Jodie and Kali’s characters. Like that first look Det. Navarro gives Danvers in the trailer? Like, you could singe toast on that. And Jodie rasping, “We’re just going to do this one thing, work together to close this case and that’s it for the two of us.” Like, backstory. We DEMAND backstory. Is this a “Vigil” situation? Please may my wishful gay thinking be right this time. Like they couldn’t have included this maybe they’re cuddling for warmth, maybe they’re born with The Gay shot in the teaser trailer just to pull the old Are They Lesbianing Together Sweeps Week gag, would they? Guess we’ll find out sometime later this year.

Good Night, Detective

I wish HBO Max would hurry up and release the trailer for “True Detective: Night Country” — and also finally release the release date while they are at it. Jodie Foster returns to TV as the star of the fourth season of the “True Detective” anthology crime series. I’m excited for this series, but precious little has been released about it. So far they’ve only given us about 7 seconds of peekaboo as part of a general preview for all their 2023 shows. I mean, at least we get to hear Jodie’s voice. Oh, Jodie. Jodie.

The new season is set in Alaska during its dark season when the sun never rises. Jodie and former pro boxer turned actor Kali Reis play detectives working together to solve the disappearance of six men from an arctic research station. The new season is being helmed by Moonlight’s Barry Jenkins and acclaimed Mexican filmmaker Issa López, which makes me even more excited for this project to see the day of light — so to speak. Also, maybe it’s just the parkas, but both detectives are giving me some pretty strong lesbians in law enforcement vibes.

I haven’t watched any of the “True Detective” seasons before, because they were always so male dominated. And the real world has enough of that. But with Jodie and Kali behind the badges things are decidedly more interesting for me. Also, it’s nice for these kinds of shows to not revolve around dead and abused women for a change. Just saying.

p.s. Don’t miss the other millisecond previews of my other favorite (surviving) HBO Max shows comings this year including “Somebody Somewhere” (I just did a full rewatch, so damn good), “Hacks” (I’m due for a rewatch, especially the lesbian cruise episode) and “Harley Quinn” (wasn’t that Valentine’s Day special ridiculous in the best way?)