My Weekend Crush

What should you do when the President of the United States points his stubby little finger at a female reporter just doing her job and says, “Quiet, piggy” for all the cameras and world to see?

Yeah, you know what to do. Because fuck that motherfucker. Or, Bill fucker? So let them fly, ladies. Though which style you do it, well, that’s entirely up to you.

The Double Cersei

The Smile & Bird

The Smile & Double Bird

The Look Away

The Emmy Worthy

The Oscar Worthy

The Early 2000s

The Billionaires Are So Cringe

The O.G.

So, yeah, fuck that motherfucker. Happy weekend, all.

SGALGG: Oscars Edition

I told you it was coming. Though, considering all the LGBTQ moments this year, it seems the Gay Gals are getting jealous of all the Straight Gals acting like them. Sunday’s ceremony showcased the wonderful talent of the out queer female nominees, attendees and winners. Like Daniela Vega who became the first openly transgender person to ever present at the Oscars. And we haven’t even touched on Olympic skater Adam Rippon’s tuxedo harness. Besides all the really, really gay, the awards had a lot of straight women holding hands because they love throwing off our collective gaydar. Like I feel like they’re trying to make SGALGG now; how else can you explain the huge cuddle puddle that all the losing best actress nominees made together? Exactly. Also, I’m pretty sure one of the winners thanked his cats. I even rewound to make sure my ears hadn’t translated it to lesbian.

So here are some of the rest of the great SGALGG & GGALGG moments of the night.

Jane Fonda & Helen Mirren

I would watch this rom-com about two ladies who find love later in life.

Emily Blunt & Guest

News Flash: Mary Poppins is practically gay in every way.

Gal Gadot & Lupita Nyong'o

Themyscira meets Wakanda.

Gal Gadot & Margot Robbie

Fine, Wonder Woman has a thing for disgraced figure skaters too.

Laura Dern & Greta Gerwig

Look, I told you I wasn’t kidding about the hand holding.

Also, these two totally continued off stage.


Everyone Wants to Touch Meryl

Viola does.

Nicole definitely does.


J-Law is just being greedy.


Jennifer Lawrence & Salma Hayek

See, greedy.

Lupita Nyong’o & Danai Gurira

Wakanda forever, indeed.

Octavia Spencer & Sally Hawkins

I would have rather she wound up with Octavia than the fish, to be honest.

Janelle Monae

Obligatory Janelle post.

And now for the GGALGGs to show them how it’s really done.

Jodie Foster & Frances McDormand

Crutches won’t slow her down.

p.s. Yes, Jodie is a tiny little garden gnome compared to J-Law, and most people really.


Rachel Morrison & Rachel Garza

The first woman ever to be nominated for best cinematography and her wife on the red carpet. Yeah, that sounds nice.

Dee Rees & Sarah M. Broom

And out filmmaker Dee, who hired Rachel in the first place, brought her wife with her on the red carpet. Also sounds so nice.

Darla K. Anderson

The out Coco producer thanked her wife, and her producing partner thanked his husband.

Kimberly Peirce, Evren Savci & Emily Blunt

I mean, hitting on Emily in front to your wife is bold. But, perhaps she’s on her “list.” And she saw all her hand holding business from before, so gave it a shot.

Oscar's Up

Well, the Oscars happened. The winners were utterly predictable (like, seriously, every favorite won). Yet there were flashes of the great show it could have been. Like with the Time’s Up moment and inclusion montage. And like all the out queer female filmmakers who were present, and even shouted out their wives while winning. And like 86-year-old Rita Moreno slaying in the same gown she wore to the Oscars in 1962. And, of course, Jordan Peele’s great win for “Get Out.”

While I was rooting for “Get Out” over “The Shape of Water,” I appreciate that it was the first female-fronted film to win best picture since “Million Dollar Baby” in 2004. Also, Guillermo del Toro’s acceptance speeches were lovely.

Some more on the highlights.

1) Tiffany Haddish and Maya Rudolph should co-host the Oscars next year. Full-stop.



2) Rita, girl, I can’t wear some of the same clothes from a year ago, let alone 56 years ago.



3) I didn’t totally hate the jet ski bit, but probably only because Helen Mirren was the celebrity model.



4) Lupita Nyong’o should put it in her contract she always has to wear these adorable glasses.



5) Damn, it was nice to see Annabella Sciorra again.



6) Jordan Peele, here getting his Oscar engraved, is the first black writer to win for best screenplay, and only the fourth nominated in the Academy Aaward’s 90-year history. So, yeah, representation matters.



7) Frances McDormand having all the female nominees this year stand up. Powerful, both because of the talent of these women and how few women there were standing up.

Frances McDormand has all the female nominees in every category stand up. "Look around, everybody...because we all have stories to tell and projects we need financed." https://t.co/lJd891ISOk #Oscars pic.twitter.com/rNfg08xQJP

— ABC News (@ABC) March 5, 2018

8) The ads were…good. Well, some of the ads. Out filmmaker Dee Rees had the best commercial of the night, hands down. Two moms. Mary J. Blige. Space monsters. Black girl magic. Fuck yeah, though I’m still not gonna shop at Walmart.



9) Twitter ad was also quite good, especially lesbian poet Denice Frohman’s words. Too bad about all the Nazis, Russian bots and men threatening to rape women on the site. Ahem.

Happy to join fellow women of color storytellers @IssaRae @JenBrea and the legendary @JulieDash. Fierce poem by @DeniceFrohman. #HereWeAre pic.twitter.com/L4SPqwIlX0

— Ava DuVernay (@ava) March 5, 2018

10) And, of course, all gay ladies love them a little Jodie Foster in a white tux blaming her crutches on Meryl Streep.

Jennifer Lawrence: "I'm so sorry, what happened to you?"
Jodie Foster: "Streep. She I, Tonya-ed me."https://t.co/VcTTT3wnXt #Oscars pic.twitter.com/AzgVLwsyqf

— Hollywood Reporter (@THR) March 5, 2018

Speaking of Jen, she was living her best life climbing over chairs and not spilling a drop of her wine.



So, your favorite moments? And, don’t worry, SGALGG is coming. It is so coming.

My Weekend Crush

You’ve made it to another weekend, kittens. So, clearly, that means you should treat yo self. How about a video of Melissa Benoist, a.k.a. Supergirl, playing with puppies? You survived five whole work days. Treat yo self. What about seeing Jennifer Lawrence totally on purpose accidentally kiss Natalie Dormer? You did not tell any of your co-workers and/or boss to go fuck themselves – probably. Treat yo self. I don’t know about you, but the stupid time change really messed with my sleeping patterns this week so I’ve been tired and rather cranky ever since. But you know what? After treating myself to both these videos (possibly several times in a row), I dunno. I kinda feel better. Happy weekend, all.



(You only need to watch the first 9 seconds of that J-Law/N-Dor kiss video for the good bits. Though if you want to watch it unfold in real time fast forward to 1:52 and then 3:01 to relive the magic in full. Or, you know, just play the whole thing on repeat forever. Whatever works. It’s your treat.)

Throwback Thursday

So am I doing this Throwback Thursday thing right? Sorta? How about pictures of celebrities when they were just wee little celebrities? I mean look at wee little Jodie Foster, circa 1884. Sweet merciful Zeus, that hair. Stars – they were once younger, just like us. Granted, some celebrities don’t get older – but that’s another story altogether. Anyway, here are a bunch of our favorite famous folks back in the day. TBT, as the kids say.

Glenn Close & Jennifer Beals, circa 1985
Eighties hair is the gift that keeps on giving.

Queen Latifah, Ingrid Casares & k.d. lang, circa 1990
What I wouldn’t give to have been a big lesbian fly on the wall here.

Natalie Portman, circa 1990
Who would have thought this cute face would grow up to be driven mad by ballet, pick feathers out of her back and have really hot lesbian sex with Mila Kunis. Wait, never mind – I totally see it.

Gillian Anderson, circa 1996
Imagine, just 20 years ago it was perfectly acceptable to wear your bathrobe to the Golden Globes.

Jill Hennessy & Angie Harmon, circa 2000
It’s a “Law & Order” ADA Off and we’re all winners.

Ellen Page & Anna Paquin, circa 2006
Aw, look at them. Before we knew they were both totally queer ladies.

Jennifer Larence & Selma Blair, circa 2008
Four years before Katniss, JLaw proves she was always a huge ham sandwich.

Jodie Foster & Kristen Stewart, circa 2002
People said the casting of K-Stew as Jodie’s daughter was uncanny…

Jodie Foster & Kristen Stewart, circa 1981 & 2000
…Yeah, I don’t see it… KIDDING, obviously.

Stars, they're just like oops

http://dorothy-snarker.tumblr.com/post/122789254500

Just a reminder, in case you were having a shitty Wednesday, that Jennifer Lawrence continues to be a goddamn national treasure.

p.s. Yep, she has been hilarious since the start. Even back in 2012 when I compiled this video and people were still like, who is this Katniss girl?



p.p.s. Duuuude, how much do you love the new Hunger Games: Rhythm Nation teaser trailer?

Vacation Vixen: Jennifer Lawrence

To the fucknut who hacked Jennifer Lawrence (and other famous women’s) phone and stole TOTALLY PERSONAL, TOTALLY PRIVATE photos and then posted them all over the Internet: Fuck you, you worthless excuse for a fucking human being. We live in such a fucked up world sometimes. If you wouldn’t go to Jennifer Lawrence’s house and peep in her window to see her in a TOTALLY PERSONAL, TOTALLY PRIVATE setting, then you shouldn’t be looking at these stolen photos online either. I happened upon some accidentally after landing from a long flight yesterday and felt so fucking gross. I’m mad that I saw what little I saw. And fuck this shit about “they shouldn’t have taken naked pictures in the first place…” All women, yes - even famous women, are allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies consensually. What is not allowed is for someone else to do whatever they want with said bodies nonconsensually. What is wrong with people? Anyway. Sorry, didn’t mean to start off my vacation with so much swearing. But, a little righteous anger is a good way to clear out the cobwebs. Keep your head up, Jennifer. You (and the other women whose photos were flat-out stolen) did nothing wrong. I join you in one-fingered solidarity against that fucknut hacker thief who did everything wrong. Fuck you, dude. Seriously. FUCK YOU.

EDIT: I would like to reiterate that NO MATTER how good she looks and NO MATTER how dumb/smart you may/may not think it is to take naked pictures on your phone, stealing someone’s TOTALLY PERSONAL, TOTALLY PRIVATE images is a FUCKING CRIME. This is not about prudishness. This is not about her actions. This is about a CRIMINAL who violated another human being’s basic rights. Period.