What Light Through Yonder Kitchen Breaks

Juliette Binoche and cooking? I guess this really is the week for movies tailor-made just for me. “The Taste of Things” is the newest film from Binoche who I have loved since, well, it’s been a long time. I first saw her in “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” and then fell hard (for all of the leading ladies) in Krzysztof Kieślowski’s radiant “Three Colors” trilogy, “Bleu,” “White” and “Red.” A whole swoony romance (albeit straight) set around cooking — and in French? Mon dieu. I’m always a sucker for food porn. And French food porn starring Juliette Binoche may just be its highest form. Bon appetit, mes amies.

Tank Top Tuesday

Each time I post a Tank Top Tuesday I struggle to find a theme. The universal theme is hotness, because ladies in tank tops are hot. Duh. But specificity is also important. So if the family is hot, then the genus is brunettes. Sorry blondes, sometimes we’re the ones having more fun. But wait, there’s more. If the kingdom is hot and the genus is brunettes, the species would be tasteful black and whites. Hey, I didn’t make the hierarchy of biological classification, I just put things into their place. Or that was a really long-winded excuse to post Shay Mitchell in her tank top on the beach. And all these other hot, brunettes in black and white. Just keeping it orderly.

Emmanuelle Vaugier

I continue to feel inconsolable about the end of “Lost Girl,” and it hasn’t even started yet.

Angie Harmon

I am considerably less bereft about the cliffhanger on “Rizzoli & Isles.” It’s not like they are going to rename the show “Isles & Her Wikipedia-Like Memory.“

Julia Ormond

Apparently she’s on some Lifetime show about witches. I haven’t watched and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.

Hettienne Park

She is definitely on that show about the cannibalistic serial killer. I haven’t watched that either, but only because I can’t spare the nightmares.

Kristin Scott Thomas

Remember when she said she was a lesbian once in college? That’s back when we all still thought Hugh Grant was charming.

Juliette Binoche

I fear I’m probably getting my hopes up too much about her lesbianing together with K-Stew in “Clouds of Sils Maria.” But a gal can dream.

Jada Pinkett Smith

I still don’t understand her speech pattern on “Gotham,” but I do appreciate her swagger. The lady brings her own bat.

All About K-Stew

Cinema’s continual fascination with How Terrible It Is For Women To Age, because what other stories can we possibly tell about women as they age, is beyond tiring. It is especially so when you throw in the adversarial younger woman vs. older woman dynamic – because again, heaven forbid we actually get along as women instead of spar as rivals. Also, have you noticed how it’s always dudes who write and direct these All About Eve-things. Still with that said, the trailer for “The Clouds of Sils Maria” looks like a well-acted – if not entirely new – film with a very talented female cast. I mean, how can you resist the combination of Juliette Binoche, Kristen Stewart and Chloë Grace Moretz? Also, there is a distinctly lesbian vibe happening between Juliette’s older actress, Kristen’s younger assistant, non? I mean, hello, the whole play-within-a-movie is about an older woman who falls for a younger woman. Yes, yes, and then there’s K-Stew’s G-string. Fine, I’m going to go see this. But if there are more lingering shots of puffy alpine clouds than actual lesbian content I’m going to be Bella Swan mopey the rest of the day.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Aw hell, why not. Let’s bring back all of the classics this week. First a few tank tops, then SGALGG and now your friend and mine, gender fuck. It is Thursday, after all. So, let’s just wallow in the loveliness that is ladies looking lovely, with a little (or a lotta) splash of butch. Because, kittens, for real – I could stare at Cate Blanchett in an oversized suit and nothing else forever. For. Ever.

Janelle MonaeNever mind The Great Gatsby, this is The Magnificent Monae.

Laura HarrisSure, Angie Harmon was also on “Women’s Murder Club.” But Jill Laura wore the suits and had The Haircut.

Audrey TautouWhite suit with no shirt...

Ruby Rose...or white suit with no pants...

Catherine Zeta-Jones...or big white shirt with no pants? Decisions, decisions.

Christina HendricksI’m not feeling the haircut or the corduroy jacket. But still, it’s Hendricks in a suit and tie so, come on, how bad can it be?

Deborah Ann Woll

Red hair, glasses, suspenders, loose shirt. Now that, that I’m totally feeling.

Tilda SwintonAnd here I believe Tilda’s hand placement is exactly mirroring my feelings about this outfit.

Juliette BinocheThis picture makes me realize why in France, the only difference between the word for “the kiss” and “to fuck” is a little “le.”

Naked Lady Monday

My phone is still dead. My internet is still dead (and could be out until at least Friday). My anger is still very much alive. To assuage it, how about a little Naked Lady Monday action? Classy nakedness, of course. Classy. And you know who does classy nakedness? Playboy. Wait, wait. Sorry, I misspoke. Playboy France. Not that I’ve ever seen one. And even if I had, I would only read it for the articles. Classing up the whole affair even more is cover girl Juliette Binoche. But before you get all, “Oh my God, La Binoche naked!” please remember that I said classy nakedness. Classy. So please enjoy these shots of La Binoche in all her blurry, au naturelle glory. I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of relieved they made everything abstract and out of focus. In this expose age, it’s nice to preserve a little mystery. N’est pas? [NSFW-ish action below. Click to enlarge, but don’t squint too hard. It won’t help them get any clearer, trust me...]

My Weekend Crush

Mes amis, ce soir je suis dans l’humeur pour quelque chose de français. Mais pas simplement quelque chose français. Non, quelque chose de français comme La Binoche. Right, so I hope I didn’t totally embarrass myself by dusting off some of the old college French. But, basically, I just feel like going French tonight. And, to me, it doesn’t get much more French than the exquisite Juliette Binoche. She is that perfect mix of ethereal and earthy. While I first saw her in “The Unbearable Lightness of Being,” it wasn’t until “Blue” that I fell head over heels. Now, granted, I fell for all the actresses from the “Trois couleurs” trilogy. But my love for the fair Juliette has proved the most enduring. For a beautiful woman, she is uncommonly grounded, direct and -- best of all -- real. She radiates a warm, honest sensuality without even a hint of artifice. And I can’t think of another actress who looks better with her eyes closed. Be still, ma mon coeur. Happy weekend, all.

Oh, honey, the hair. The hair.

Juliette Binoche is a lovely actress. Beautiful. Talented. French. Just generally magnifique. But then, I saw this. This is not magnifique. This is apparently what French trailer trash looks like. It's not pretty. Here she is trying to put on a brave face while doing press for her new film "Breaking and Entering" at Toronto International Film Festival today. Even her smile seems to be desperately screaming, "Je sais, je sais! L'horreur, l'horreur!"

UPDATE: What a difference a headband makes. Here is Ms. Binoche later in the day, glammed up for the "Breaking and Entering" premiere. That headband hides an untold number of sins. And a grateful public says "Merci beaucoup."