Never Owned

Look, I said it would take a little time for me to get back to the queer joy. So I’ve decided to take a solid week. But, lest you think I’ve forgotten what it feels like, please enjoy 17-year-old budding lesbian Lesley Gore (RIP) belting out a self-determination anthem for the ages. Sixty-two years later, here we are still singing this tune as a reminder to all those who think otherwise. I say we all become ungovernable. We’re free, and we love to be free.

Music Monday: Lesley Gore

Today is the first day at my new job. So I am wishing for nothing but sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows everywhere. Also, it’s not lost on me that this wonderful little ditty is being sung by a closeted lesbian. It was always Lesley’s party. Happy Monday, kittens.

GOP Don't Own Me

I am sad to report that Lesley Gore’s “You Don’t Own Me” is still what we would call a timeless classic. Not sad because Gore’s “You Don’t Own Me” is a bad song. It’s a great song. An amazing song. An incredibly powerful song that every woman feels deeply in her bones. The sad part is we still have to sing it. And feel it. The song remains as relevant as ever. And so we continue to belt it loud. And proud. And be filled with unending righteous indignation.

You don't own me
I'm not just one of your many toys
You don't own me
Don't say I can't go with other boys

Yet here we are, in our year 2019, watching as state legislatures pass so-called “Heartbeat Bills” that police women, strip us of our autonomy and take away our right to control our own bodies. These six-week abortion bans are effectively total abortion bans. If you’re late on your period by two weeks, boom, you are probably past six-weeks pregnant. So now you’ve missed your window to make your own decision on how to proceed with your pregnancy, body and life in general.

And don't tell me what to do
Don't tell me what to say
And please, when I go out with you
Don't put me on display 'cause

The so-called Governor of Georgia (which should rightfully be Stacey Abrams, but voter suppression is a hell of a drug), just signed the most atrocious fetal heartbeat bill in the country. Earlier Mississippi and Ohio governors signed similar bills, effective this July. And some 16 states across the country have passed or are trying to pass similar laws.

You don't own me
Don't try to change me in any way
You don't own me
Don't tie me down 'cause I'd never stay

Let’s take a peek at that newly passed Georgia law, shall we? Obviously it restrict women from having an abortion after six weeks (again, that means most women wouldn’t even realize they are pregnant until after it’s too late). It also gives the unborn fetus full citizenship rights meaning this lump of underdeveloped cells will be counted as a person for population determination (even though, you know, it isn’t even here yet), and the law provides provisions for alimony, child support and even income tax deductions for fetuses. No, I am not kidding.

I don't tell you what to say
I don't tell you what to do
So just let me be myself
That's all I ask of you

But wait, like those terrible late-night infomercials, there’s more! The bill will also criminalize women who get abortions. You heard that right, women who decide to self-terminate after six weeks in Georgia can go to jail for life and even be eligible to the damn death penalty. If a woman seeks an abortion after six weeks from a health care provider she will be party to murder and subject to life in prison. So much for not punishing the woman, pro-lifers. No, I am NOT KIDDING.

I'm young, and I love to be young
I'm free, and I love to be free
To live my life the way I want
To say and do whatever I please

If a woman miscarries because of “her own conduct” she is committing second-degree murder now in Georgia and subject to 10 to 30 years in prison. And prosecutors may interrogate a woman who miscarries to determine if it was because of, again, “her own conduct,” and if they believe it is they could arrest, prosecute and imprison here. NO, I AM NOT KIDDING.

And don't tell me what to do
Oh, don't tell me what to say
And please, when I go out with you
Don't put me on display

And, guess what, you can’t even leave the state to obtain an abortion in a state where it is still legal. A woman can be charged with 10 years imprisonment if she does this. Oh, oh, and you also can’t help a woman obtain an abortion in-state or out-of-state after six weeks because you could also be charged with conspiracy. OH MY FUCKING GOD I AM NOT FUCKING KIDDING.

I don't tell you what to say
Oh, don't tell you what to do
So just let me be myself
That's all I ask of you

Local elections matter. State elections matter. I know we’re all in a frenzy what with 21,000 Democrats running for president. But this right here? This is why you vote in every election. You vote for school board and county coroner and state assembly. You vote for your representatives and your senators. You vote for governors. You vote because if we don’t they take away our rights. Not slowly, not carefully. But with maximum cruelty and disregard of women as human beings who - unlike their beloved fetus - are actually here and have already been imbued with unalienable rights as citizens of this country. But, you know, not in Georgia.

I'm young, and I love to be young
I'm free and I love to be free
To live my life the way I want
To say and do whatever I please

So, we sing. We fight. We protest. We take their asses to court (since, obviously, that’s the objective here - for one of these cases winf its way to Trump’s stolen Supreme Court to overturn Roe V. Wade). But no matter how hard they try and what laws they pass, the GOP doesn’t own women. They certainly don’t care about them. So vote every single last one of them out of office. And we can all be free, and love to be free.

My Weekend Crush

Aw, man. It’s always the good ones who go too soon. Earlier this week singer Lesley Gore died of lung cancer at age 68. As a teenager Lesley became the quintessential 60s singer with songs like “It’s My Party,” “That’s the Way Boys Are,” “Maybe I Know” and – of course – “You Don’t Own Me.” The latter was an instantly iconic feminist anthem of independence and defiance. Keep in mind, that song came out in 1964 right at the earliest cusp of second-wave feminism. Over the years she has also been vocal about the difficulties of being a young woman in the male-dominated music industry. And in 2005 the singer came out as a lesbian in an interview with AfterEllen (yes, really) and discussed her long-term relationship with Lois Sasson. The couple had been together for 33 years when Lesley passed earlier this week. And during the 2012 presidential election Lesley brought back “You Don’t Own Me” – and a few dozen of her famous feminist friends – for a PSA sing-along to get out the vote. It’s true, nobody owned her. But she always had our backs. Happy weekend, all.

"You Don't Own Me" PSA from You Don't Own Me on Vimeo.