My Weekend Crush

I’ve already said I don’t want to spoil the fleshly/bloody delights of “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma” too much. But I will say that seeing Gillian Freaking Anderson be so game and glam and gay in her role was truly a wonder. I, like probably many of you, first began crushing on Gillian as the stalwart and sensible and so smart Scully. But I never, not even in my wildest dreams, could have guessed that one day Gillian would become the queer icon and out pansexual legend that she has become. Happy weekend, all.

Teenage Sex and Death At Camp Miasma Review

Well, it’s this just the perfect way to officially kick off spooky season? With lesbian horrors of perhaps the most delicious kind. I finally, finally got a chance to see “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma” and it lived up to my already sky high expectations. Given how much I was truly thrilled by the bold. visceral storytelling of “I Saw the TV Glow,” I had been impatiently waiting. And the good news is, I loved it. And the better news is, I can’t wait to watch it again.

Gory. Gothic. Gorgeous. Gay as hell. And Gillian Anderson! What more could a gal want? Jane Schoenbrun has proven to be a filmmaker of singular and extraordinary vision. Their films weave complex allegories about society and sexuality together, shaped through the lens of nostalgia, while being both sumptuous and hilarious.

With Camp Miasma, we’re treated to the delights of watching Gillian Anderson and Hannah Einbinder be both campy and real, in equal measures. The former plays the faux slasher franchise’s original final girl turned reclusive Norma Desmond type and the latter is the young filmmaker tasked with rebooting the series. But, really, the less you know about this movie the better.

And this is coming from someone who doesn’t even like horror! But, I do love a smart, sexy, weird movie. And Camp Miasma is that, and funny, and scary, and sexy, and trippy and real. And just really damn good. Just, um, don’t be squeamish about blood. Or dipping sauces.

KissCam Dreams

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Lucy Dacus Lounge (@lucydacuslounge)

I realize shit is really heavy right now. Every breaking news alert feels like a deeper dive into our dystopian nightmare. But at least we got to witness Julien Baker and Lucy Dacus smooch on the KissCam at a recent New York Liberty game. At least we got that. It’s like a glimpse into a better world that is possible. Maybe even still.

Issa keeping it Rae-l

Whew, kittens. Do I feel this speech in my very bones. When I say Issa Rae speaks for all of us fed up women, whew, do I ever mean it. The realness. Like I said, whew. Yes, this is all men’s fault. Of course it’s overwhelmingly rich white men. But all men, none the less. So, ladies, not terrible gentlemen and every them and they, if you’ve got a little power right now, use it the fuck for good.

Music Monday: Brandi AND Alanis

I know, I know. But it’s Brandi AND Alanis! BRANDI AND ALANIS! On “Uninvited”! With the PRIMAL SCREAM. Also, Alanis needs to drop the yoga routine because if I tried to headbang like that my dang head would snap off my dang neck. All us perimenopausal Gen X ladies want to rock out so hard, but know the chiropractic bill afterward isn’t worth risking it. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend (Canadian) Crush

Dear Canadian Kittens,

I am so thrilled for you that today you get to watch lesbian beer league softball shenanigans. I so want to join in on the fun. But, alas, the Crave series has no U.S. distribution yet. (Though New Zealand and Australia, you seem to be in luck.) And because our barely sentient racist Cheeto for a president is The Worst In Every Way, who knows when this Canadian delight will trickle down to us. I get it, and honestly America deserves your disdain. Would it help to tell you that at least 48.3% of us are really, really, really sorry about all this *waves arms at the horrors*? We hate it too. And we WILL vote this November. Again, we can’t apologize enough for being such bad neighbors.

With Love on Behalf of Your Sane American Friends,
Ms. Snarker

p.s. Happy weekend, all!

GGALGG: Emmys Edition

I had such a busy first-week back I haven’t even had a chance to discuss the Emmys! And lots of people I like won! Did I mention I watched “Widow’s Bay” on the plane? Because I did, and I can assuredly tell you it is both funny and scary because I both laughed out loud and jump scared mid-flight. Anyway, where was I? The Television Academy and its golden statuette that looks shockingly like Megan Stalter. Since we still can, I’ll be mainly highlighting the WLW attendees. You know, the queer ladies and gay girlies and them/them hotties and such. We’re here, we’re queer, we’re GGALGGs.

Hannah Einbinder

I can’t tell if Hannah and her frequent red carpet companion Ellie Neilson are a mixed GGALGG/SGALGG couple, or a full-on GGALGG couple in this shot.

Now I really can’t tell.

Kristen Kish

I want the cameraperson to move just a little to the left, a little more, a little more…

Emma D'Arcy

I haven’t watched “House of the Dragon,” but they’re so handsome sometimes I think – well. And then I remember they wear a long wig in it and I’m like nevermind.

Cynthia Nixon

The older I get the more I appreciate a flowing, amorphous, not-body fitting gown on, really, anyone. Like, I hope it also has pockets, honey.

Niecy Nash

Niecy and her wife Jessica Betts are always a favorite on the carpet. Hey, stop it, head out of the gutter. They look too glamorous for carpet jokes.

Megan Stalter

Whereas if you want to make a trophy wife joke about Meg and her girlfriend Maddie Allen, I will allow it.

Louisa Jacobson

I liked Louisa’s after-party suit (purple) better than her award show suit (black). But, truly, I’m just so tickled one of Meryl’s girls is a hot masc/one of us.

Ayo Edebiri

Admit it, if Ayo, Zendaya and Quinta Brunson turned to look at you like this and asked if you wanted to be their unicorn you would find yourself a sparkly fake horn so fast.

But then you’d be sad because you realize they weren’t talking to you. They were talking to Denée Benton, Cynthia Nixon, Louisa Jacobson and Carrie Coon across the room.

Bonus SGALGG:

Look, I know Rhea Seehorn just playing a lesbian and and Carrie Coon is just sporting a lesbian haircut. But we gotta throw the straight ladies something, they willingly date men. That’s how you know sexuality isn’t really a choice. Poor dears.

Great British Waiting Show

I know I’m late today. Maybe I’m just getting over my jealousy that you folks across the pond got to see Nigella Lawson’s debut on “Great British Bake-Off”/”The Great British Baking Show” yesterday and I still need to wait until Friday. So, soil me, how was it? I need all the cozy baking and inappropriate innuendos I can get in days/decades like these.

To the Sterling Point

So, I know I ask variations on this questions a lot, but – for real, should I be watching “Sterling Point”? I’ve heard such good things about this series from “My Old Ass” creator Megan Park. A teen girl from New York inherits her grandpa’s remote Canadian island and drama ensues when she meets her secret sister – but at least some of that drama is sapphic in nature (as is that secret sister). I won’t lie, these days I can feel some kind of way about watching teen stories, wlw or otherwise. This Gen X perimenopausal gal isn’t even sure if she has the patience to sit through teen drama, let alone interest. Then there’s also the desire to not seem like a creepy old lady. But, again, I keep hearing good things. So, anyone wanna admit to watching the latest teen drama?

p.s. Also, sorry my Canadian kittens, I hope the story of an American who comes in and causes drama in your lovely country is not too triggering right now. We are really, really, endlessly sorry about our barely sentient Cheeto-in-Chief.

Music Monday: Dolly Rocks

I’m still not over it. I’ll probably never be over it. When I watch other incredibly famous musicians rejoice in sharing a stage with Dolly Parton, like during her Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame induction, I’m reminded that we’re far from alone in our sorrow and our loss. Which in a way is a comfort. Plus, hot damn, could that lady write a song. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Sometimes, you just want to reminisce about a time when Tina Fey wore this to host “Saturday Night Live.” After a long week of playing catch-up back at work, I think I deserve it. She is my ultimate triple threat: funny, smart and tuxedo. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Follows Suit

I still haven’t watched the “Little House on the Prairie” reboot yet. Will grandma be showing up in a suit? Because that would convince me. Or, hear me out, how about a gender-swapped “Mike Hammer” reboot with Megan Follows as hard-boiled Det. Hammer. You’ve got to admit, she’s pulling off the hat and the pinstripes.

Vacation Vixen: Megan Thee Stallion

Full disclosure again, I’m back at work today. But I didn’t have my shit together for a real post yet. Still, I wanted to make sure our final Vixen was wearing something workplace appropriate on her body-ody-ody. With a pen at the ready and everything. Ahh.

Vacation Vixen: Olivia Wilde

I hereby declare Formal Tank Top a new category of dress, and further decree that Olivia has set the standard.

Vacation Vixen: Anne Hathaway

Truly, how has she found the energy for this year’s output? “Mother Mary,” “The Devil Wears Prada 2,” “The Odyssey,” “The End of Oak Street” and “Verity.” Like, if anyone deserves a relaxing spa day. Or a vertical bath.

Vacation Vixen: Meryl Streep & Anna Wintour

And now, for Casual Friday, how about the opposite of effortlessly dapper? Mostly I just love Meryl being a goofball in the face of The Fashion. Thus ends professionalism week. That is all.

Vacation Vixen: Tina Turner & Friends

I just want to look this effortlessly dapper once in my life. Preferably with equally effortlessly dapper hotties surrounding me too. But, you know, I’ll never be Tina so I can’t be too greedy.

Vacation Vixen: Michelle Pfeiffer

*low whistle* When you’re out Clark Gableing Clark Gable.

Vacation Vixen: Young Miko

Again, I am not sure I’m cool gay enough to talk about Young Miko. But I at least feel qualified to commend her sartorial choice of a blazer atop a tank-top adjacent tube top. What, it’s Tuesday, these things matter.

Vacation Vixen: Rosamund Pike

Full disclosure, most of this week’s “vacation” is actually a conference. I know, I know – how American of me. So just to be workplace appropriate, I thought this week’s Vixens should muster some professionalism. Yes, that’s a tux. Of course it is, it’s after 6 p.m. somewhere, what is she -- a farmer?

Vacation Vixen: Margaret Cho

Did you know we almost had Mama Cho in “Heated Rivalry”? Another thing that Racist Oompa Loompa has ruined. Nonetheless, Margaret remains undefeated. (Again, we really are sorry about our horrendous president, Canadian friends. So, so sorry.)

Vacation Vixen: Gugu Mbatha-Raw

Sometimes I just think about “San Junipero” and sigh. But it’s always a good sigh. (Also, thanks for the Thursday suit, Gugu.)

Vacation Vixen: Rebecca Ferguson

Yes, fine, I may be a tad bit obsessed. But I just can’t get enough Rebecca right now. So, here are three, because we all deserve more.

Vacation Vixen: Zoe Saldana & Laysla De Oliveira

Once again, should I be watching “Lioness? Like, the tank tops…

Vacation Vixen: Jodie Foster

Well, I’m finally taking a little time off – like two weeks and change off. Which, by American vacation standards, is forever. But, as always, I would never leave you high and vixenless. So please enjoy Jodie and company these next couple of weeks. Also, does anyone else suddenly have an urge for melons?

My Weekend Crush

The more I think about Hayden Panettiere’s death, the sadder it feels. Here was a prodigious child star who became a superstar on the buzziest show of its era. Who had endured the worst of celebrity culture, while being consistently unflinching about how much it had all cost her. Familial trauma, industry misogyny, domestic violence, addiction and alcoholism, postpartum depression.

May we finally learn the lesson that the young, vulnerable, beautiful young girls of Hollywood are not commodities to be exploited. They’re people who deserve protection from the worst inclinations of the powerful and perverse. What she went though is enough to warp anyone’s life. But instead of retreating or lashing out, she shared. She shared it all, both in her interviews and her recent memoir.

I’ve been particularly impressed by the self-awareness she showed when coming out as bisexual in May. Honest about her experiences – dated women from a “very, very young age,” but had never been in love with a woman – and why she came out later in life.

“That’s something about me I was never able to share with the world, because it was just never the right time. It was either I was too young, and I was being forced to be perfect at all times. I was not encouraged to just be myself.

Then came the period where it felt like people coming out, especially women, saying that they were bisexual or liked girls, was a fad. I was afraid that if I was honest, it was going to be like me jumping on the bandwagon.”

It certainly seemed like she savored the opportunity to be open about her sexuality for the first time – after 36 years.

“It’s sad I had to wait until I was 36 years old to share that part of me, but better late than never, right?” she said at the time.

Three months, and she is gone. Thanks for sharing yourself with us Hayden. Your big gay family sees you and mourns you. Rest in power, always. Happy weekend, all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Rosie Suits

We don’t get a lot of wins these days. But I think the universal love poured onto Rosie O’Donnell after last week’s guest hosting gig on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” is a nice reminder that good things can still happen to pretty good people. I think most of us here watched Rosie in her “Queen of Nice” talk show host days to her “View” outspokenness to, well, now when she’s kind of a refugee (albeit an incredibly privileged one, obviously). I went back and watched all four days of her hosting, and each monologue was killer. She hasn’t lost a single step, and in fact she’s even more charming and engaging and, well, Rosie. Also, the suit game has considerably improved. I don’t know if her acclaimed, and beloved, reemergence will result in another shot at her own show. But I do know she deserves all the flowers she has received for her continuing speaking truth – and poking fun – at power.

p.s. Plus, sorry Donny, her suit game just is nasty good. Ahem.

We Will Always Love Dolly

Gosh, the world seems just a little less bright. A little less fun. A little less kind. And a lot less Dolly. It certainly wouldn’t be hyperbole to call Dolly Parton one of the most beloved stars of our time – possibly the most. And it wasn’t just the rhinestones and the wigs and the twang. It wasn’t just the songs and the smarts and the sass. Lots of celebrities entertain and inspire people with their talent and drive and passion. But Dolly was beloved not just because of the joy she brought, but for the love she gave.

Dolly didn’t take herself seriously. But she took being kind to others extremely seriously. Her literal rags-to-riches story embodies the American Dream through her seven decade career. Yet she is one of those all-too-rare superstars who realize that with great fortune comes great responsibility. And that responsibility is to not just give back, but also care about everyone – especially those who have less than you. Which is why she will always be one of my original crushes.

She is also a reminder that the richest and most powerful among us don’t have to be like this. The tech oligarchy. The billionaire class. We don’t ask nearly enough of them. They don’t have to relentlessly exploit. They don’t have to hoard the riches and resources. They could give more freely and dictate less. And through it all they could remain otherworldly rich, and have every last comfort in the world still. But they don’t.

Thank goodness Dolly did. She has given away more than 332 million free books to children through her Imagination Library. She embraced her LGBTQ+ fans from the start. She sang about women’s rights in the height of the women’s rights movement. Hell, she helped fund the freaking Moderna COVID vaccine. And she did so many other things – large and small – that objectively made a difference in people’s lives.

Supremely talented. Uproariously funny. And unendingly empathetic. An American original, and truly the best of us. May she continue to be a beacon for the people and the country we aspire to be. Rest now, sweet lady, on a beautiful bed of plush cotton with Carl. I will always love Dolly, and the world was a better place for Dolly loving us. Thank you for making our lives brighter.

Tank Top Tuesday: Sweating with the Sapphics

I don’t know why, but Ilona Maher has been working out in tank tops with a bunch of sports sapphics and/or guestbian sapphics lately. Actually I do know why, it’s the Olympic medalist’s new digital series where she sweats with other athletes and celebrities. And some of her first few guests included Azzi Fudd, Amber Glenn and Laysla De Oliveira. So, for those keeping score at home – WNBA gay, ice skating gay and plays gay on TV (“Lioness” to be specific, which I don’t watch – but should I?) Anyway, as an avowed heterosexual (much to her own chagrin), Ilona certainly is playing to her fanbase with this lineup is all I’m saying. And in tank tops no less. Standard disclosure, the rules have always stated that sports bras count. Happy Tuesday.

Azzi Fudd

Amber Glenn

Laysla De Oliveira

Music Monday: Not Uninvited

So, well, this is how I know sexuality is innate (still a spectrum, but definitely innate). Because if it weren’t innate after seeing Brandi Carlile absolutely, positively destroy “Uninvited,” how could there possible be one singular straight woman left in this world? Sorry straight ladies, we were born this way. (I mean, that primal growl at 3:45…) Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Is it just me, or does Gillian give off distinctive Judd Nelson with his fist raised at the end of “The Breakfast Club” vibes here or what? I think it’s the plaid/trench/attitude combo. It’s giving sexy 80s movie boyfriend feelings. Truly, is Gillian Anderson in 2026 not just the most exquisite vindication for thinking Scully was a total smokeshow from the start back in 1993? (Yes, even with those bangs.) Anyway, I hope “Camp Miasma” (sorry, I’m tired “Teenage Sex and Death at…” is a lot to type) does bonkers box office this weekend. Like, this is the genderqueer sapphic slasher fantasy of our wildest dreams, how could it not be? Happy weekend, all.

Arctic Lesbians

Forget Arctic Monkeys, Arctic Lesbians are apparently all the rage. And by “all,” I mean Jodie Foster got her parka on for “True Detective: Night Country” and now Suranne Jones and Rose Leslie are bundling up for the third season of “Vigil.” Admittedly, I haven’t made it through the second season of “Vigil” yet. It seemed like the show kept finding new and inventive ways to keep Detective Chief Inspector Amy Silva and Detective Sergeant/Inspector Kirsten Longacre apart. Also, the whole pregnant lesbians thing. Speaking of which, who is watching the baby as they traipse off to the North Pole? Anyway, I don’t know why, but I might just tune into Season 3 and skip all the drones. I just like lesbians in snow better, I guess.

Sweet Rosie

Although I may have been a little miffed/jealous of Rosie O’Donnell’s ability to fuck off to another country to escape Trump 2.0, I have greatly enjoyed her fuck you I don’t live there anymore era. And I do understand that the threats to her family because of the “feud” are real. Mostly, I’m just thrilled a lesbian continues to annoy Mango Mussolini, and there’s not really much he can do about it. Also, I love how she explains she used to have a talk show. Man, we really are the old folks now, aren’t we?

Tank Top Tuesday: Amazing Lesbians Edition

So I guess I need to start watching “The Amazing Race.” I know, they’re entering season 39, so maybe I’m a little late. But now that soccer lesbians have joined the show, I think I can finally give it my full attention. US National Women’s Team and NWSL players Ali Krieger and Joanna Lohman have joined the new season of the long-running adventure reality series. Now in case you were wondering, and the hair wasn’t already a giveaway, yes, Joanna is also a gay. Her Instagram bio includes the title “celesbian” (and lots of photos of her wife and their child – and rainbows). Anyway, I’m so glad Ali continues to live her best life (and is happily together with a new, better soccer lesbian). Guess I’ll have to record the new season and fast forward to the lesbian bits, per usual.

p.s. Also, just because it’s Tuesday and sports bras and muscle shirts are included in the Tank Top Cinematic Universe, here’s a little preview. Hopefully they packed for the race accordingly.

Music Monday: Greta's Calvins

In case you weren’t sufficiently hyped for Greta Lee and Rebecca Ferguson’s “full-on” sapphic romance, here is a reminder of what Greta Lee looks like dancing around in her Calvins. I see Greta was also method acting for her wlw role by sporting queer women’s No. 1 bra, the Calvin Klein bralette. I have one in like four colors. But I very rarely dance down the middle of street in them. Glad Greta did her stretches and seemingly has no such inhibitions. Happy Monday, kittens.

My Weekend Crush

Um, did we manifest the new Rebecca Ferguson/Greta Lee sapphic rom-com or what? Between her heavy wlw flirting and her tank top supremacy, Rebecca has apparently been method acting her way to her new lesbian role. Also, how did we not know about her new lesbian role – with Greta Lee no less – before this?

The only whisper of it was Greta’s Interview magazine chit-chat with Willem Dafoe earlier this month where they had this exchange:

LEE: I’m about to leave on Saturday to do something in London. I’m scared to do it.
DAFOE: That’s good. What is it?
LEE: It’s a romance, but it’s between two women, and I haven’t done that before.
DAFOE: What kind of romance? Full on?
LEE: Full on, baby. I’m doing my stretches.

And then the Internet gods gifted us with these shots of them being all kissy-kissy in London together on set. I guess not everything in the world is terrible. May we all survive long enough to see Rebecca and Greta “full-on” lezzing out for each other on screen. We expect so little from you these days, universe, please let the sapphics at least have this. We promise to do our stretches, too. Happy weekend all.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Throwback Edition

Yes, I know, I keep talking about sports. A lot of the popular discourse keeps revolving around them – particularly women’s sports – particularly by people who have never in their lives watched professional women’s sports unprompted. But I digress. You know who I hope is basking in the progressive glory of today’s WNBA? Cheryl Miller, the college star and Team USA standout and Olympic gold medalist who went on to become the first head coach and general manager of the Phoenix Mercury and is now receiving some deserved flowers for her trailblazing career. But, honestly, I just remember her as the O.G. swaggiest coach of the WNBA. And 30 years later, she’s still got it.

WNBGAY Says Trans Rights

It’s been so hot this summer, I guess we’ll just have to post an extra day of tank tops, with a little advance of Thursday gender fuck in the mix. Because how great are the best coaches and players in the WNBA in their response to this artificial, right-wing freakout about trans athletes in women’s sports? With MAGA Barbie fanning the flames (gotta ensure there’s another career lined up after her mid-playing career ends), the Player’s union and individual players (and coaches) have all made their support for trans rights unequivocally clear. Isn’t it nice when abhorrently bigoted views are part of the unpopular minority in a group for a change. It’s called the WNBGAY for a reason. Don’t fuck with our family.

Also, come on, how hot is Gabby Williams? I saw it with my own two eyes. Plus 10 toes down for trans athletes? Died and gone to Ballhalla, indeed.

Also, thanks for the bonus tank out Seattle Storm star Stefanie Dolson. Somehow, the message is even better.

And there are good reasons the Lynx are No. 1, and Cheryl Reeve being a great leader is sure one of them.

Tank Top Tuesday: Rebecca Ferguson Edition

Well, that settles it. I must be going through a Swedish ladies phase. Because I’ve developed a definite crush on Rebecca Ferguson. After her full-on sapphic-bait flirting at Comic-Con recently, I just can’t help it. She was always the best part of those last few “Mission: Impossible” movies (until those idiots killed her off). And she was bone-chillingly terrifying in “Doctor Sleep.” Also her “Silo” wardrobe appears to be predominantly tank top based. So, um, should I be watching “Silo” or what? I mean I’m already watching Rebecca in all her tank topped glory through the ages. So better late than never.