My Weekend Crush: Freed BG

Wow, and thank goodness. Yesterday, after nine long, hard months, Brittney Griner is free. The Biden administration made good on their promise and brought BG home. Yes, it took swapping a despicable arms dealer to make it happen. But, uh, what exactly do you think the NRA is if not an arms dealing organization with better PRR that has an entire political party beholden to them like lapdogs? So. I won’t get into the political machinations of what made this happen. (Also, Paul Whelan’s family praised it as “the right decision,” so stop with all the “They left a (very former) Marine!” stuff.) Russia was using her – a Black, openly queer, more masculine-presenting, married gay woman – as a political cudgel to extract what it wanted. Diplomacy is hard, and not magic.

Yesterday also saw the House pass the Respect for Marriage Act, following the Senate’s successful passage last month. President Biden may be signing it as we speak. It passed 258-169, meaning only 39 Republicans voted for marriage equality while a whopping 169 of them voted against queer people being allowed to marry. In this year 2022. Tell me again that there’s no difference between Democrats and Republicans. Also you thing That Orange Stain would have freed Brittney? Please.

While old-school homophobia is back in a big ugly way, we don’t have to retreat into despair. Yesterday we had two unequivocal wins on the world stage. And if a win is a win, then two wins is two wins. I’ll take it. Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend Crush

After the last 15 months we’ve had, it just feels nice – not to mention noteworthy – to share good news. And when a talented queer artist gets married to another lady, well, in my book that’s great news. So hearty congratulations go to lesbian comedian Hannah Gadsby and her new wife, producer Jenney Shamash. That is definitely a good reason to enjoy a celebratory ice cream.

It’s also a reminder of how new this legal right truly is for most of us in the LGBTQ+ community. This June will mark the sixth anniversary of marriage equality becoming the law of the land in the United States. Our Australian friends passed marriage equality a couple years later, in 2017. As grateful as we are for voters and politicians affirming our equality, it’s total rubbish that people are allowed to vote on our rights in the first damn place. Otherwise, mazel tov! Here’s to love, marriage, funny women and ice cream. Happy weekend, all.

Rest In Pride

If you ever doubt that one person can change the world, think of Edie Windsor. One singular woman, one timeless love, one righteous fight. They all came together in Edie, who undeniably changed the world for the better. Her death yesterday at age 88 is a reminder that no matter how small and helpless we feel, we should never doubt our power to do what is right. Hers was an unlikely journey to LGBT rights hero and icon. You might not think an octogenarian who had lived a quiet and loved life with her wife, Thea Spyer, for four decades would make history. But when Thea died in 2009 and the government refused to recognize their union (to the tune of a hefty six-figure federal tax bill), she fought back. For Thea, for all of us. And, wouldn’t you know it, she won. Edie slayed the Goliath. In 2013 the United States Supreme Court ruled the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional in 2013 (United Sates v. Windsor). And that paved the way two years later in 2015 for the Supreme Court’s to declare same-sex marriage legal across the entire United States (Obergefell v. Hodges). Upon her passing Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton were among the outpouring of people offering words of condolences and homages to her place in history. Love, indeed, trumps hate. And love, like that between Edie and Thea where you dance a hole into your stocking together the first night you meet, can truly change the world. Thank you, Edie. Thank you from the bottom of our big gay hearts forever.

p.s. Hey, here is an idea, replace all Confederate monuments with a statue of Edie just like this. For one, she actually won her war. And for another, she actually made America greater. Radical idea, I know.

A More Perfect Union

Lest you forget, sometimes the world really does get better. Friday’s historic Supreme Court ruling legalizing same-sex marriage – or just marriage as it’s now called in all 50 states – has finalized the case for enshrining June 26 as a national gay holiday. The date is the anniversary of Lawrence vs. Texas (2003), which decriminalized gay sex; Hollingsworth v. Perry (2013), which overturned Proposition 8; and United States v. Windsor (2013), which ruled the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional. Now with this year’s Obergefell v. Hodges creating a constitutional right to marriage equality, June 26 truly has become the gayest day of the year.

Progress on this journey has been slow, but also stunning. From 2004, when Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage, to 11 years later, where it is the law across the union, it has been an incredible journey. We have the tireless work and fierce devotion of countless advocates to thank for this achievement. But it’s also proof that people can change, that the hearts and minds of everyday Americans can change when our shared humanity is realized.

The thing about civil rights is that our collective advancement isn’t really about the minority group in question. Granted, each community pushes for its own progress. It’s not as if in 1964 all of a sudden African-Americans become enlightened and therefore worthy of discrimination protection. It’s that the majority – white Americans – become enlightened and realized we’re all just humans imbued with the same inalienable rights. (Granted, there’s a still a long way to go on that regards, a long damn way.) The same goes for gay rights. It’s not that LGBT people finally deserved the right to marry, it’s that the majority – straight America – finally realized love is love. (And, of course, we still have a way to go for employment, housing and other full protections.)

But therein again is why days like June 26 matter so much. It’s hard work fighting for equal rights. It’s exhausting and draining and often thankless. So when the Obergefell v. Hodges days happen, we must celebrate them as, to coin a term from President Obama, the thunderbolt of justice that it is. Days like that are the jolts we need to keep going. They are the sparks to keep the struggle alive for all groups who deserve full and equal protection under the law.

June 26 is a day to celebrate and a day to inspire us to continue our journey toward that more perfect union. Now, let’s all go get married, you big beautiful country.

p.s. I’m not the kind to normally chant this, but “USA! USA! USA!”

Heart of Dixie

And now, the South. Yesterday Alabama became the 37th state to end its ban on same-sex marriage. Couples across the state got hitched were filled with all the smiles and all the kisses and all the hope that comes requisite with a wedding. A marriage, after all, should be a supremely optimistic act which reaffirms our belief in the possibility of a happy future. And, finally, I feel that way about marriage equality across the United States, too.

The steady drumbeat of states expanding the right to all has been more than heartening. It’s history before our eyes. Normally, when the Supreme Court agrees to hear anything I reach for the antacids. And it was the same when the court agreed to hear the cases of four states – Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio, and Tennessee – where the courts have ruled their marriage bans are still constitutional.

But in denying a stay in Alabama, where a federal judge ruled that the ban was unconstitutional – the majority of the justices tipped their hand on the impending marriage equality cases before them. Heck, even Clarence Thomas (yes, him, ugh) said so in his dissent writing: “This acquiescence may well be seen as a signal of the Court’s intended resolution of that question.” Yeah it does. Boo-yah.

Granted, I’m not telling everyone in the hold-out states to buy rings just yet. But definitely start browsing. Sure, a lot can go wrong because this is our Supreme Court. They’re wacky and not in a good way most of the time. Still, the momentum is clear. We have won this fight in the arena that matters most – public opinion. Everyone who still vocally opposed same-sex marriage seems like the troglodytes that they are. With each ruling and each state that opens people see that, no, the foundation of marriage has not crumbled under their feet. It has only gotten stronger. Now it’s all over but cleaning up the foot-dragging straggler states for the courts.

Still, there’s so much left to do even after full marriage equality is realized. Full LGBT employment non-discrimination rights. Full LGBT anti-harassment and hate crime protection. I could go on. It’s important to remember, even after we can all get married, we have not arrived at the promised land yet. There’s still a lot of road left.

Yes, there is work to do. Yet I still can’t help but feel like the love sick fool with each new picture of smiling, happy, optimistic couples beaming at the possibility of “I do” in each new state. How can you not?

p.s. Wanna know more about Alabama’s adorable first legally married same-sex couple in Montgomery pictured above? Of course you do!

Wedding Bells

And then there were 24. With its decision not to hear pending marriage equality cases in five states, the Supreme Court has cleared the way for us gaymos to get hitched post haste in Indiana, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia and Wisconsin. Virginia already kicked things off with its Attorney General announcing marriages could begin at 1 p.m. today ET and calling it “a momentous & joyous day for thousands of Virginians.” Hell yeah, Virginia is for lovers. As it stands now, at 24, we’re at the tipping point for nationwide equality. One more state and it will be exactly half of the country.

And, that will happen much sooner rather than later because of the complicated way the circuit courts work. The decision today affects six more states, where same-sex marriage is all but assured to become law: Colorado, Kansas, North Carolina, South Carolina, West Virginia and Wyoming.

And those states, once all the legal wrangling is complete, will bring the number to 30. That’s more than half. That’s an unstoppable trend. That’s the majority. It should be noted that, of course, marriage equality is not the end-all, be-all gauge for full equality for LGBT people in this country. Ironically, in many of the newly or soon-to-be newly legalized states there are no statewide non-discrimination laws. So while you can get married, you can still get fired for being gay. So there is still much work to be done, of course. But for now, let us savor this moment at the precipice. Because very soon, those states that do not allow marriage equality will be in the minority. Yeah, suck on that. Also, damn, America. You are about to get so many more wedding invites.

p.s. It’s all very fluid. But according to the Freedom to Marry live blog, Colorado lifted its stay meaning it is the 25th state to legalize same-sex marriage. Which means HALF. HALF THE COUNTRY. Get on the right side of history boat or get left behind.

Back home again in Indiana

Yesterday, a federal judge ruled that my home state’s ban on same-sex marriage was unconstitutional. So now, in Indiana, one of the reddest of red states in the union, gays and lesbians began saying “I do” legally. I’ve lived for well over a decade now in California, a state known for its progressive politics. (Though, dude, Iowa beat us by four years – tsk, tsk. My journey is mirrored by countless LGBT people in America. Grow up in a conservative place, long to live in one of our so-called meccas, leave as soon as you can. After college, my goal was to get to a coast. That the West Coast came calling first was almost chance, but I happily took it. Leaving Indiana for California was a complete flipping of my previous political environment. Here, the right wing huddles angrily in the minority, not the other way around.

In the life of this transplanted Midwestern girl there has been a beautiful symmetry at work in this steady march toward full equality. In 2008, my adopted home state of California in June 2008. Pride month, of course. There was the ugly blight of Proposition 8,but then five years later on June 27, 2013 same-sex marriages began once more, for keeps, thanks the Supreme Court ruling invalidating Prop. 8 for good. And now, here we are once again in June just days away from Pride, and a the courts once again have said let now unconstitutional law tear asunder what love has made obvious in my former home state of Indiana. So, it seems, you can go home again after all.

As the moral arc of history begins to bend its bright rainbow over more and more of this country (20 states and counting), one has to wonder if the narrative of LGBT kids might start to shift, just a little. While the big cities and liberal communities will always beckon, there is an undeniable satisfaction in knowing that staying home is becoming a better, safer option as well. There will always be more liberal and more conservatives pockets of this country. We are a nation deeply divided by party and politics. But whether you vote red or blue, it shouldn’t matter because the white of our constitution need to protect and respect all of us. And with each new judgment and each new law, we are getting there. Both my homes, separated by so many miles and so much ideology, say so. Congratulations, Hoosier state. So, next time I visit, I’ll know how happy I will feel to be back home again in Indiana.

My Weekend Crush

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I get weepy about commercials. Maybe it’s a family having that first cup of coffee together after a long period apart. Or a good dog who finally gets a forever home. Or any of those damn Google Chrome commercials. I can’t help it. Beneath this ink-black heart is a soft, marshmallow center. But you know what really, really chokes me up? When commercials treat what has for so long been considered “other” – race, gender, sexuality, whathaveyou – as something of worth that is worth presenting. So all these advertisers who include LGBT people and families, man, do I get a little verklempt. I know the cynical, hard side of my heart should say we’ve become just another commodity to sell a product. But if the all-mighty dollar is in a way the greatest equalizer. The “values” that companies once courted now include us. And, in fact, not accepting us as another part of the world worth recognizing has in fact become the opposite of profitable. The new CEO of Mozilla just resigned because of outrage caused by the disclosure of his contributions to the anti-gay marriage Proposition 8. I can’t imagine anything close to that happening 10 years ago. But today, to be anti-gay is quite simply bad for business.

But you know what really, really, really chokes me up? When a company goes out of its way not only to include us, but to defend us. Sure, show a gay couple in your ad. But when the haters come out, it’s how you respond that often shows the truest of colors. So this weekend my crush is on that most wholesome of things. It’s on the goodness of Honey Made graham crackers, that simple snack for kindergarteners everywhere and the foundation for every great s’more. Last month the company put out a commercial titled “This is Wholesome,” which featured gay and interracial couples. And, of course, the crazies emerged. But what they did afterward? Well, let’s just say I’m going to go buy a box of Honey Maid this weekend and have a good, happy cry. Happy weekend, all.

My Weekend Crush

Raise your teacup. Marriage equality is the law of the land in the United Kingdom. At the stroke of midnight, like a freaking Disney movie, same-sex marriage became legal in Britain. (England and Wales, at least. Scotland starts later this year. And Northern Ireland, well. Yeah.) The UK adds to the 15 countries who now recognize same-sex marriage – Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Denmark, France, Iceland, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, Sweden and Uruguay. Yeah. Kind of ridiculous screaming, “We’re No. 1!” now isn’t it, America?

Anyway, grumbles aside, what I love about each new country, each new state, each new couple who gets to experience the simple equality of love is how truly, deeply, madly joyous it all is. I mean, if you can’t be happy at a wedding, then you truly aren’t worthy of being a human being, are you? Three cheers for love. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. Just click on the Vine to make the cheering stop looping, in case you were getting too verklempt.

The Era of Edie

As the days dwindle down in 2013, it’s time to do that retrospective thing we humans love to do. And, given my activities this past weekend, I thought I’d pay some renewed respect to our gal Edie. Of course, we all know her story by now and her Edie vs. the Goliath of the United States of America victory. And she was rightfully the third runner-up for Time Person of the Year this year. Yet still, it’s stunning to think how one 84-year-old woman has changed the world, and will continue changing the world for the better for years to come. People have and will and still criticize our movement’s focus on marriage as one of our key battles. But I see it as our smartest possible fight. Because, make no mistake, love is transformative. And when you see it, it’s also impossible to deny. So then nothing inferior will do, no union or partnership or skim milk marriage will suffice. Only “I do” will do. And we certainly do love our Edie.

You down with R.B.G.

It’s badass ladies of a certain age week here at Surrenders. So it’s already a true fact that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a certified badass. The 80-year-old (R.B.G. if you’re nasty) has been on the highest bench in the land for 20 years and in that time she has been a champion of women’s rights, abortion rights, gay rights and voting rights. If you recall, she asked the epic question during the DOMA hearings about skim milk marriage:

They (the 1,000-plus benefits offered to married couples under federal law) touch every aspect of life. Your partner is sick. Social Security. I mean, it's pervasive. It's not as though, well, there's this little federal sphere and it's only a tax question. ... And so he was really diminishing what the state has said is marriage. You’re saying, no, state marriage [is] the full marriage, and then this sort of skim milk marriage.

And she was, of course, among the majority who overturned DOMA and found the Prop. 8 proponents did not have the standing to bring the case and essentially overturning the proposition as well. And this weekend she became the first Supreme Court Justice to officiate a same-sex marriage. On Saturday she presided over the wedding of Kennedy Center President Michael M. Kaiser and economist John Roberts. Factoid: R.B.G is a huge fan of opera and close friends with Kaiser. Another Factoid: R.B.G. will be conducting another same-sex wedding this month. Counter Factoid: Justice Clarence Thomas performed (one of) the weddings of radio windbag Rush Limbaugh. Yeah, now you’re even more down with R.B.G.



Also, you’ve got to love the snarky precision of some of her arguments. In writing the dissenting opinion of the Court’s gutting of the Voting Rights Act she wrote:

Throwing out preclearance when it has worked and is continuing to work to stop discriminatory changes is like throwing away your umbrella in a rainstorm because you are not getting wet.

And when asked a couple of years ago how many women on the Supreme Court would be enough, she answered – naturally - nine:

Also, have I mentioned she beat cancer twice, has a penchant for lace gloves and has her own dedicated Tumblr blog called – what else – Notorious R.B.G.

Decision Day

Between Voting Rights Acts gutting yesterday night, Texas abortion bill voting shenanigans last night and SCOTUS marriage equality rulings today, I fear the only winner when all this is over will be wine. So until we know, let's all have a glass (who cares that it is 7 a.m.) and hold hands. I'll be back here after the decision comes out to cheer/jeer/get drunk with you all.

UPDATE 1:

DOMA is unconstitutional

— SCOTUSblog (@SCOTUSblog) June 26, 2013

UPDATE 2:

Prop 8. No standing. Per Roberts. 5-4.

— SCOTUSblog (@SCOTUSblog) June 26, 2013

UPDATE 3:
LOVE WON! WE WON! DOMA/PROP 8 DEAD! DRINK ALL THE CHAMPAGNE! LET'S GO GET MARRIED!

UPDATE 4:
Yes, we won today. Yes, we have to keep fighting. Yes, there are 37 other states where marriage equality needs to be secured. Yes, employment non-discrimination needs to be secured. But today, we fucking celebrate.

Waiting for SCOTUS

We will know (as early as today, as late as Thursday) exactly how the Supreme Court feels about our marriages. Whether it condones us or condemns us. As their current session comes to a close the rulings on DOMA and Prop. 8 are imminent. And the closer they get the more I start to feel a mad rush of anxiety, excitement, fear and impatience. I feel all those feelings, all at once and all together in a muddle of hope and terror so strong I don’t dare not breathe. It feels like we’re all holding our breath. Because what those six men and three women say is – quiet literally – the law. Sure, they don’t make laws, but they uphold or strike down those that exist and in doing so are the definitive final word on our land. And so, we hold our breath.

Will we move forward, will progress prevail? Or will we be forced to wait until justice catches up with inherent equality? Ugh. I can’t face the best of times/worst of times uncertainty.

All I know is we’re ready, and love can’t wait any longer.

UPDATE: Tomorrow will be the last day of the session. So we will know, one way or another. Nerves don't fail me now.

Tomorrow is the last #scotus day. Same-sex marriage. History.

— SCOTUSblog (@SCOTUSblog) June 25, 2013

Kiwi does it

Looks like it’s time to book that trip to New Zealand. Yesterday (well, in our time zone at least) our friends the Kiwis became the 13th country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage. Middle Earth, we salute you. The passage of the country’s marriage equality bill, by a vote in Parliament of 77 to 44, was celebrated by the spontaneous singing in the chamber of the traditional New Zealand love song “Pokarekare Ana” in Maori. If that doesn’t well you up, I feel bad about your poor black heart.

Throughout the song you saw lawmakers and supporters congratulate the bill’s sponsor, out MP Louisa Wall. Also, love the outfit. Her bill amends New Zealand’s marriage act, passed in 1955. I’d like to think if U.S. congressmen and congresswomen passed similarly historic civil rights legislation, they’d break out into a rousing version of “This Land is Your Land.” But those assholes can’t even pass a law that would expand basic background checks to gun shows and internet sales. The lack of political backbone in the face of money and fear mongering is more than just disheartening. It is shameful. But, back to the good news. New Zealand joins Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Iceland, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden and just last week Uruguay to pass full marriage equality. And remember when I was talking about backbone? Here’s New Zealand MP Maurice Williamson displaying his and dispelling pretty much all the arguments against allowing gay men and women to marry. A little humor, some hard facts, a lot of reason. If only that worked everywhere.

Allies through the ages

OK, last one. Promise. Consider it a spillover from last week to complete the five-day string of all marriage equality talk all the time. It’s also a powerful reminder that history should always champion those with courageous hearts. While our Golden Girls knew that love is love 22 years ago, there were also brave members of congress who knew the same thing 17 years ago. These were the voices who stood up against the Defense of Marriage Act back in 1996. The men and women who refused to use us as a political pawn. The politicians who never used us as a wedge to scare up vote. As we all know, the bill passed overwhelmingly (342-67 in the House; 85-14 in the Senate) before being signed into law by President Bill Clinton. Those who allowed it to become the law of the land have their own consciences to deal with now (though I’m incredibly pleased at the flood of lawmakers who have since flipped their votes). But there were those allies – 81 in all – who saw clearly from the beginning. And we should never forget and always give thanks for their convictions.

p.s. Since some of the Supremes seem to think same-sex marriage is so a newfangled thing to warrant not risking such experimentation, please enjoy this gorgeous photo of an African-American same-sex couple that appeared in Jet magazine back in Oct. 15, 1970. And, you know what, our marriages have been around and documented a lot longer than even that. Since at least the Middle Ages. Though, despite your ass-ertions, Justice Alito, is no historic evidence of iPhones in Byzantine art.

My Weekend Crush

Everybody loves a love story. They’ve built into our DNA. We crave them. They’re a reminder that for all the harsh cruelty, ugly randomness and willful inequality, there is hope and beauty to make us believe again. And it will be love, the love between Edie and Thea, that could change the world. Which really is how it should be. What changes us, moves us forward, makes us better should come from something good. Certainly, a great wrong was first done to that good. But it’s the good that will prevails and lifts us as a people up.

And we have Edith Windsor, Edie to friends and loved ones (and at this point we should all love Edie), to thank. At age 83, Edie is suing the United States of America to recognize her marriage to her wife, Thea Spyer. The two met in 1963, started dating in 1965, got engaged in 1967 and got married legally in Canada in 2007. Hell, I welled up a little just reading their New York Times wedding announcement. Thea died in 2009 after a 32-year battle with multiple sclerosis. After her death, Edie got stuck with a $363,000 federal estate tax bill. A tax she would not have to pay had her marriage to Edie been recognized by the federal government. In all she paid over $600,000 because her 42-year relationship with Thea meant nothing in the eyes of the law.

But instead of letting it stand, accepting the inequality of it all, she fought and fought and fought. As she fought she often relayed the progress of their case to the life-size portrait of Thea that hangs in her apartment. To this day she wears the circular diamond pin that Thea gave her as a stand-in for an engagement ring all those years ago. She wore it to have the highest court in the land hear her. And we’ve all heard her. She came out of the courthouse spunky as ever. Even if the justices rule to continue an injustice and uphold the Defense of Marriage Act, her bravery and determination will not be in vain. We’ve come too far to be stopped now. So thank you, Edie. Thank you for sharing your love. For showing us your heart. For fighting for us all. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. If you want to get even more inspired, watch their documentary “Edie & Thea: A Very Long Engagement.” It’s streaming on Netflix. But be warned: Come packing Kleenex.

Signs of the Times

You’d think two days worth of writing about marriage equality with only a handful of comments would cure me. But no, I am a sucker for punishment. Because on this, one of the most historic legal weeks for LGBT rights, I just can’t shut up about how excited I am to see it all happening before my eyes. Just 10 years ago I wasn’t sure if I’d see same-sex marriage legalized in our country in my lifetime. And now I feel certain of it. So if I go on, if I gush, there’s a reason. Sure, marriage is by far not the final frontier in achieving our full and total equal rights. But it would be such both real (the 1,138 benefits, rights and protections granted federally by marriage) and symbolical (the acknowledgement and acceptance of our love as the same) victory that I cannot help but feel giddy. We will prevail because it is the right thing to do. We will prevail because we are a nation build on the concept of the equality of all people. We will win because skim milk marriage is not whole milk marriage. We will win because even Bill fucking O’Reilly thinks it’s just the bible thumpers left opposing us. We will win because love should always win. We will win because, well let’s be honest – we will win because our signs are better.

Our Girls

Today I feel a lot better than yesterday, I know that. I’ve been engrossed in the Supreme Court hearings these past two days, reading, watching, listening. Yesterday, after some procedural wishy-washiness by the Supremes in the Prop. 8 case, it seemed as if no sweeping decision would be forthcoming on marriage equality. But today, after hearing reports on the DOMA hearing I feel like hard-fought victory may be close at hand. Of course, we shouldn’t get too excited. It won’t be until probably late June until we know for sure. But for now, I feel invigorated. Of course, we also have to ask ourselves what took so long. Because contrary to some justice’s assertions, “gay marriage” is not newer than cell phones or the internet. It’s been around for as long as gay men and lesbian women and all other people in the LGBT spectrum have vowed to love and honor each other until death do they part. Heck, our friends “The Golden Girls” knew it way back in 1991. That’s 22 years ago. We are all friends of Sophia now.

Marriage Court

You know when you’re arguing with someone and she says, “Well don’t make a Supreme Court case out of it.” Well, today and tomorrow we get to literally, make a Supreme Court case out of same-sex marriage. The court will hear the case for challenging the constitutionality of Proposition 8 and tomorrow the case challenging the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act. To say the stakes are high would be an understatement. There is no higher court in the land and the outcome of these cases will shape our legal landscape for years and years to come.

Will we take a big step forward, and assert the right to marriage equality for all? Or will be remain mired in the past, relegating us to a separate and not equal status? I am both incredibly excited and incredibly nervous to hear the outcome. But not matter how the court rules, there is no denying our national momentum toward equality. While I don’t believe our inalienable rights should ever be a popularity contest, we’ve also had the first major victories at the ballot box last November. More people than ever before support gay marriage according to a latest national poll. And more and more of our political leaders are coming forward to support the basic right to love and have that love legally recognized. In fact the mad scramble by some to get on the right side of history before the courts decide it (in the last 48 hours we had Senators Claire McCaskill, Mark Warner and Mark Begich all come out in support) has been jolly sport.

Look, even if you’re not the marrying kind personally, everyone should be entitled to all of the 1,138 federal rights, benefits and protections granted to couples based on marital status. And, no matter how the court rules, everyone so virulently opposed to loving, committed LGBT couples tying the knot is going to look pretty silly looking through the lens of history. If we can’t laugh at these things, well, let’s just laugh because that’s all they deserve.

p.s. Those looking for ways to support the cause, check out Stand for Marriage Equality, Freedom to Marry or HRC. Red shirt, check.
p.p.s. We’ll still have to wait until probably late June for a ruling. Let’s make it the best Pride Month ever, Supremes.

Shockingly devolution

I was never a huge Michelle Shocked fan. Back in the late 80s when she had arguably her most mainstream success, I was still busy listening to The Bangles and Debbie Gibson – please (like we all don’t have embarrassing pop skeletons in our close). But over the years the mention of Michelle’s name always mustered warm, folky feelings of a smiling short-haired lady who was most definitely on our side. But now it seems she really, really isn’t.News earlier this week that Michelle Shocked said something, well, shockingly anti-gay it felt like an added betrayal. To say gay marriage will cause the end of the world and utter that most base boilerplate for bigotry “God hates fags” to a stunned audience is just terrible enough. But from someone we thought was with us, it’s even more horrible.

The reason is simple. People are supposed to evolve, not devolve. Our human trajectory, as told by Darwin, is one of constant adaptation and improvement. And our beliefs have evolved along with our abilities. The long arc of history has bent toward justice. So when we see it bend backwards, it’s against everything we think we know about ourselves. Sure, some may stay suck in the past, unwilling to change. But once we’ve finally crawled out of the primordial ooze, why would we want to submerge ourselves in the muck again?

The only good news from this whole, sad situation is that so many others seem as appalled as we are by this turnaround. To go from a woman who in 1990 told the gay press she had female lovers to a woman today who has been born again and spouts homophobic hogwash is beyond jarring. It’s the same sadly ironic twist that gives us an anti-choice champion Jane Roe. But luckily, we have more and more examples of the normal progression of evolution everyday. Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Rob Portman and two even two Westboro Baptist “God Hates Fags” Church daughters have seen the light. And, today, more Americans than ever – 58 percent – support gay marriage. Less than decade years ago only 32 percent supported it.

Sure, we’ll still have a shock or two pop up, to remind us where we’ve been. But they will be the exception. And as they sink back into the slime, we’ll be on higher ground looking toward a brighter future.

EDIT: So Shocked has finally publicaly responded to her homophobic rant, claiming it's all some sort of colossal communications breakdown and God doesn't hate gays and neither does she. I think. She instead wants to offer mercy to those who believe in a God who hates instead of one who loves. Yeah, OK, whatever lady. What I do know is she sounds deeply conflicted about many things, probably including herself.

EDIT 2: Here is actual audio from the show, which is also confusing. And in desperate need of Spanish translation.

EDIT 3: Got the Spanish translation. It's the Bible verse John 3:16. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." Well that doesn't help. Sigh.