SGALGG: Hands! Hands! Edition

You know what we haven’t done in a while? A little Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals. But I feel positively inspired after seeing all those soccer stars hug each other with their legs in sportsmanship. So now, how about celebrating when the ladies get handsy? Like Chyler Leigh and Mia Kirshner. Seeing Little Grey and Crazy Jenny go all Girls Gone Wild is, um, interesting. Yes, interesting. That’s my predominant emotion right now. Interest. So in the interest of being interested, I thought I’d let some SGALGG fingers do the walking and celebrate some more-than friendly hand placements. As Willow said to Vamp Willow: Hands! Hands!

Michelle Williams & friendHand holding, the basics never go out of style.

Maria Bello & Mariska HargitayHugging, also a classic.

Blake Lively & Leighton MeesterThe old, subtle let’s compare hands trick.

Thora Birch & Mena Suvari Though, subtlety can be overrated.

Laura Harring & Naomi WattsI’m still not entirely sure what “Mulholland Dr.” was all about. But I sure liked it when they kissed.

Emily Haines & FeistAfter a few drinks, arm wrestling always seems like a good idea.

Kate Bosworth & Zoe SaldanaIt’s not Kate’s hand around her waist as much as the hand reaching down for Zoe’s other hand that makes this so, well, yum.

Jessica Alba & Kate HudsonIn my head, she’s doing the opposite of holding Kate’s dress down. My head is a good place sometimes.

Minka Kelly & Minka KellyI don’t know why, but all of a sudden that Divinyls song “I Touch Myself” is running through my head.

Annie Wersching & Angie HarmonOne hand precariously high on Annie’s waist, the other on her gun. Yep, super duper straight.

Speaking of super duper straight, here are Angie Harmon & Sasha Alexander in their new TV Guide photoshoot. Clearly, I need to make more straight female friends immediately.

Picture perfect

KITTENS! Did you miss me? I missed you! So much! Like crazy! I had an aces vacation though. I got to see Italy for the very first time. I got to wade into the Mediterranean Sea for the very first time. I ate pretty much every carb I could find across five countries. I learned that instead of exchanging our worthless dollars for Euros, Americans should just bring suitcases full of Converse and Coca-Cola to barter with instead. And, of course, I took lots and lots of pictures. Pictures of the beautiful Tuscan landscape. Pictures of the impossibly azure water. Pictures of food, glorious food. And, yes, even a few pictures of myself. (If you’re so inclined, you can catch a few of my holiday snaps over at Ms. Snarker Regrets.) What I learned is that taking good pictures is hard and that I should probably stick to this word thing. But that’s not to dissuade others from lifting a lens. And, if the lady behind said lens happens to be lovely herself – like the luscious Rosario Dawson – well, all the better. Say cheese, darlings.

Marion CotillardLight, camera, drool.

Naomi WattsMy what a big…lens you have. Yes, lens, definitely lens.

Diane KrugerThis is exactly how I looked reviewing my vacation pictures in the hotel room. And by “exactly,” I mean that I too had a suitcase and a camera.

Kristen BellSome Kristens seen perennially sunny in front of a camera.

Kristen StewartSome do not.

Helena Bonham CarterOh, Helena, if I was wearing that outfit I’d insist on being the one behind the camera as well.

Penelope CruzThere should, however, be some sort of law that Penelope only gets to be on the receiving end of a camera lens.

Mena SuvariWhere’d she go? Remember when she was everywhere?

Drew BarrymoreHey, it’s Thursday. And nothing says, “Welcome back from vacation,” like a little Gender Fuck.

It’s good to be back, kittens. It’s good to be back.

It’s got to be the haircut

So, for whatever reason, I’ve never been that attracted to Mena Suvari. I mean, she is attractive, no doubt. But she has never been my definition of American Beauty, à la Lester Burnham. And then, I saw these pictures of her in Italian Vogue. Well, huh. What do ya know? Isn’t it interesting when something comes up that realigns the very foundation of all you held hot. It’s kind of jarring. But in a good way. Click to enlarge any of the images and let the realignment begin for yourself, too.

Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals: The Hair

Listen, lesbians get a lot of flack for their supposed lack of fashion sense. Our culpability in continued survival of the mullet is legendary (though, to be fair, I think we share the blame 50/50 with rednecks…) But lately I’ve noticed a lot of straight girls (or, well, supposed straight girls) sporting some seriously dykey hair. So consider this post SGALGG: The Hair Club Edition. They’re even separating into different subgroups.

1. The Sexy Imp (See: Shane McCutcheon)
Selma Blair (top) is working the bed head hard. While she may not be gay, her hair -- at the very least -- experimented in college.

2. The Rock Star (See: Jackie Warner)
Faux hawks ahoy! Rumer Willis (that’s Bruce and Demi’s spawn) and Pink are no doubt receiving thank-you muffin baskets from hair gel manufacturers everywhere.

3. The Bald Butch (See: Sinead, when the was still gay)
Mena Suvari went all Britney on her locks. One can only assume she did this for a role. And by “role” I mean her new girlfriend Ro. I kid, I kid. But, she is coupling her new close crop with a camouflage hoodie and a white tank top. Rather lespicious, no?

4. The Prison Matron (See: Your naughty jail fantasies)
The hair, the jaw line, the scowl, the austere duds -- seems Laura Harris (from the upcoming “Women’s Murder Club”) missed her true calling as a regular on “Bad Girls.”

Midnight in the Garden of Good & Gay

Mena Suvari is going gay again and this time her conquest will be a Bond Girl. Let me give you a second to process that information, form mental images and create fantasy scenarios. … OK, you good? Suvari has signed on to star in “The Garden of Eden,” an adaptation of the never-finished Ernest Hemingway novel that was published after his death in 1986. Set in the pre-Depression jazz era, the movie follows a pilot-turned-writer and his new wife (played by Suvari) as they honeymoon in Europe. From Variety:

“She becomes restless and tests her husband’s devotion in unusual ways. One is to bring a sultry Italian girl into their bedroom.”

Playing said “sultry Italian girl” will be sultry Italian actress Caterina Murino. You may remember her as the married beach beauty Bond, James Bond has a roll about with in “Casino Royale.” Suvari already memorably got her gay on as Claire’s not-quite girlfriend Edie on “Six Feet Under.” Man, who else wanted to shake Claire and say, “Dude, a hot girl is totally all over you. Get it together!”? While I liked Suvari before, I’d never really reveled in the hotness until her turn as Edie. Perhaps she just has better chemistry with her female co-stars. For the sake of Caterina and lascivious moviegoers like me everywhere, I certainly hope so.p.s. Those last few links are a little NSFW. Hell, it’s Friday. Go for it.