My Weekend Crush

What should you do when the President of the United States points his stubby little finger at a female reporter just doing her job and says, “Quiet, piggy” for all the cameras and world to see?

Yeah, you know what to do. Because fuck that motherfucker. Or, Bill fucker? So let them fly, ladies. Though which style you do it, well, that’s entirely up to you.

The Double Cersei

The Smile & Bird

The Smile & Double Bird

The Look Away

The Emmy Worthy

The Oscar Worthy

The Early 2000s

The Billionaires Are So Cringe

The O.G.

So, yeah, fuck that motherfucker. Happy weekend, all.

Don't Call Me Shirley

Neon has really come into its own as the go-to indie for beautiful, smart cinema. Last year they scored with “Parasite” and “Portrait of a Lady on Fire” (among others) and now they’re back with “Shirley,” a fictitious look at a period in the life of acclaimed author Shirley Jackson of “the Lottery” and “The Haunting of Hill House” and many other stories fame.

I actually don’t know that much about her real life, but given that she was reclusive that’s not too surprising. But Elisabeth Moss certainly attacks the role with gusto here. From what I’ve read the young couple who end up staying with Shirley and her husband Stanley Edgar Hyman are fictitious, meant as foils to move the narrative of what looks like story of brilliance intertwined with madness and depression. Ah, yes, the crazy genius - that old chestnut.

I don’t know about you, but I detect some fairly flirty subtext between Shirley and Rose, the young wife. But, that could just be my gay goggles. Shirley also seems mildly murderous, so we shall see. Though I certainly hope they don’t meld murderous and liking the ladies together somehow. I mean, that’s one old chestnut too far.

The American Tales

I am still trying to decide if I’m going to watch the second season of “The Handmaid’s Tale.” It’s not that I disliked the first season, far from it. This is a well filmed, well acted, well written show – of that there is no doubt. My decision is not based on its merits, but whether I can stomach it. Some shows are hard to watch because they’re so unblinkingly realistic. And some shows are so hard to watch because they’re uncomfortably close to being unblinkingly realistic. And “The Handmaid’s Tale” is, very unfortunately, in the latter category. In so many ways, it cuts too close to the bone with our current political climate. Granted, it’s the resistance that is meant to inspire us. But, still, with headlines testing the levels of our incredulity in this endless hellscape of a news cycle, sometimes I wonder how much more I can take – even fictional bad news. But then again, it is very well filmed, acted and written and features out queer characters and women. So, you know, how can I not? So in about two weeks when it returns April 25, will you be watching? Or is the news each day more than enough of that?

Vacation Vixen: The Handmaid's Tale

So today “The Handmaid’s Tale” premieres on Hulu. And I highly, highly recommend you watch. But I will also freely admit that it is difficult to watch. Dystopia cuts the deepest when you can see, with terrifying clarity, exactly how we got there. And in these times, dystopian futures feel ever present.



One of the exciting things about the new series is how it has taken a classic feminist masterpiece and expanded it to be an intersectional work. It has centered characters of color and LGBTQ characters, and made their stories integral to the overall narrative. Much credit goes to Alexis Bledel as Ofglen and Samira Wiley as Moira for creating two of the most empathetic figures in the story so far. You will root and weep for them, in equal parts.



Unfortunately, Autostraddle has decided against doing weekly recaps of the series as previously planned. But, I did review the first three episodes, which were released to critics and now available streaming today. You can read it here now and I hope you join the conversation. Because this is a show that deserves conversation – and contemplation. I know I’ll be watching, and thinking, and hoping for a better future.

Dystopian Days

Remember when we used to watch dystopian fiction for fun and relaxation instead of as instruction manuals for the resistance? Yeah, so do I. But here we are and here is the latest trailer for “The Handmaid’s Tale.” I will be recapping this series for Autostraddle and am both excited and anxious about the task ahead. Excited because it looks excellent and anxious because in this political climate it’s possible to be almost a little too on the nose. Like when a roomful of white men sits around discussing whether health insurance should have to cover women’s maternity care and women’s preventative care or not. Yeah. Like I was saying, a little on the nose.

Handmaid's Rebellion

While crystal balls don’t actually work, it’s hard to believe the makers of “The Handmaid’s Tale” didn’t look into one and see a glimpse of our current, way too dystopian future when they decided to adapt Margaret Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale” for television this year, of all years. Dystopian fiction has always had a place in our society. But how we view it often depends on our current political climate. “The Hunger Games” series were published first as novels and then produced as films entirely during the Obama presidency. So people saw them less as a glimpse of our near-to-not so distant future than as a cautionary tale and a critique of the vast wealth inequalities and what could happen if they remained unchecked. But now, in the looming age of Trump, Atwood’s imagined world of a totalitarian theocracy that strips women of rights seems almost too on the nose. But, hey, you can’t blame them for having excellent timing. But you can thank them for including lesbian characters in the series played by Alexis Bledel and Samira Wiley, joining our Offred played by Elisabeth Moss. My only complaint, we have to wait until April 26 to sign on to the feminist resistance.

p.s. With any luck, I will be recapping this show for you. So keep you fingers crossed and keep rubbing that crystal ball.

SGALGG: The Revenge

You know what I like? I like it when women who break up with guys who then immediately start dating women 20 years younger their junior find a way to still show up their exes in spectacular fashion. So when Elisabeth Moss and Fred Armisen got divorced earlier this year, and then he started to date his 23-year-old “Saturday Night Live” co-star Abby Elliott (he is 43, by the way), I thought, “Bring it, Elisabeth.” Granted, Elisabeth is only 5 years older than Abby, but her ex still managed to trade younger. Well, consider it brought. Besides her continued “Mad Men” success, Elisabeth is set to make her London stage debut next year. Opposite Keira Knightley. Who she falls in love with. In a revival of “The Children’s Hour.” Hmm, getting lesbionic with Keira night after night in front of a live audience? That’ll do it.

So, I could quibble about the play itself. Really, must we revive the lesbian love ends in tragedy and despair thing again? But the casting is amazing and the story while sad is well told. So bully for them. Of course, this role will require research. So let me offer these helpful, Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals-y acting tips to Elisabeth to prepare for her West End debut.

Hang out with fake gay ladies.Though you might want to take Joyce up on her offer next time, for practice.

Hang out with real gay ladies.Tell her you like vampires, gay ladies love vampires.

Dress like a gay lady.You know the cop contingent is your favorite float at the Pride Parade.

SGALGG at every opportunity.Erika Christensen looks more than happy to help.

Hey, but no SGALGGing with Tina.Sorry, she’s mine.

Become part of a lesbian ship.Do they have a portmanteau yet?

Become the ham in a very pretty sandwich.That’s the kind of bread you really want to butter.

Add a different kinds of Hamm.I mean, come on, even lesbians like a little Jon Hamm.

Look ridiculously hot.So random women everywhere are forced to go, “DAMN, GIRL.”

When all else fails…

…just keep getting licked.

Never mind the Stanislavski Method, this is the SGALGG Method.

SGALGG: Emmy Edition

Yep, kittens, it’s Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals: The Emmys Edition. Last night’s telecast was much better than usual. In fact, I would even consider calling it fun. And, as always, one of the most fun things about award shows (well, other than simply beautiful women looking beautiful) is the interesting couplings and interactions that can arise. And by interesting, as always, I mean totally gay. [Click any and all to embiggen the SGALGG.]

Tina Fey & Mariska HargitayI may need a moment or a lifetime or possibly two lifetimes.

Debra Messing & Mary-Louise ParkerDebra must have taken up bee charming. How else would she get MLP to squeeze up so close?

Blake Lively & Leighton MeesterIf straight gals start holding hands all the time in public because of this my gaydar is going to need an overhaul.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus & Amy PoehlerClearly they’re discussing how quickly they can get each other out of those dresses afterward.

Anna Torv & Keifer SutherlandThis is still a SGALGG, but on this case it stands for Straight Guy Acting Like a Gay Gal. Admit it, you were totally checking out the cleavage, too.

The Ladies of “Mad Men”Fine so Elisabeth Moss, Christina Hendricks, January Jones aren’t doing anything particularly gay. But they sure are in my head.

Glenn Close & Mariska HargitayMariska gets around. I am OK with that as long as I get to watch.

Tina FeyCome on, the woman put cupcakes on her Emmy.

BONUS: Padma v. Olivia

So, who gave us the better visual interpretation of the old “liquor in the front, poker in the back” punchline?

Padma Lakshmi
Olivia Wilde
For more of my thoughts on this year’s Emmys, check out AfterEllen.com later today.