Review: Ammonite

Let me just put it all out there: “Ammonite” is the lesbian prestige period piece that FUCKS.

The film starring Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan is ostensibly a semi-historical romance set in 1840s England about two women who fall in love while searching for fossils along the unforgiving southern seashore. Yes, it’s “Portrait of a Lady with Fossils” mixed with “Carol for Rocks,” sorta.

Indeed, “Ammonite” is about stones. Stones in the literal sense that they unearth bearing the shape of creatures long lost to time, and the stones we can fill our hearts with or that can stubbornly block us from our true passions.

While “Ammonite” may have much in common with our recent slate of lesbian and queer-themed films about women (often period pieces, often filled with long scenes of moody gazing), the movie’s male writer-director has decided gritty and unrelenting realism was his best chance at standing out.

So the second thing you should know about “Ammonite” is that the tone remains resolutely grim through much of the picture. Like, I’m not sure if Kate cracks more than three smiles as stoic and steadfast paleontologist Mary Anning. Her real-life character was a famed fossil hunter. In the film, she is apparently past her major discoveries prime and now sells what she finds as trinkets for tourists in her coastal town.

She meets Saoirse’s Charlotte (whose husband has dumped her with Mary because of some kind of diagnosed hysterical rich lady problems, but what I believe is an undiagnosed case of post-partum depression and unrealized lesbianism) who reluctantly comes to walk the rocky beaches with her in search of even more rocks.

Now, you’d think long walks on the beach would be the perfect setting for romance. I mean, the waves crashing! The dresses billowing in the wind! But, “Ammonite” telegraphs its serious intentions by focusing on the harshness instead of the beauty. Shit is dour, man. Stuff is grimy. Life is drab. Also, the second you see a boiled egg being cracked open look away for a bit. Trust me, it’s not pretty and that’s the point.

But, and here’s the biggest “but” perhaps ever, all this grim and grimy determination is interspersed with moments of almost spastic yet entirely believable desire. You know that sex scene everyone is talking about? Believe me, you won’t miss it. I can honestly say it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen in mainstream lesbian movies, especially mainstream lesbian movies brimming with A-list stars. And unlike some of those other much-talked-about lesbian sex scenes of late (“Blue is the Warmest Color” and “Disobedience” come to mind), this one totally passes the Lesbo Street Cred test – if you know what I mean.

Also, it’s not unhot.

[SPOILERS FOLLOW, COME BACK AFTER THE NEXT ALL-CAPS, BOLDED BRACKET]

Right, so that scene? Well, OK, I’m just going to say it. Saoirse Ronan sits on Kate Winslet’s face. Yes, you read that correctly. If you’ve ever wanted to see an Academy Award-nominated actress climb onto an Academy Award-winning actress’s face like a little spider monkey and then proceed to ride it to nirvana, this is the movie for you. And, you know what, I ain’t mad about it. Not one little bit. I may have rewatched it, um, for scientific arts criticism purposes. What? I’m only human, OK?

[SPOILERS OVER, YOU CAN COME BACK NOW]

The film also features what may be the earliest historical presentation of lesbian U-Hauling I’ve ever seen. For those still harboring a crush on Kate since her “Titanic” days, it will come full circle as she draws another woman like one of her French girls. Saoirse and Kate squeeze as much chemistry as they can in brief, meaningful glances over cold, dispassionate rocks.

“Ammonite” is a very good film, if not a particularly joyful one. Most of its festive moments (not to mention most colorful ones, in the figurative and literal senses) involve brief encounters with Mary’s upper-crust ex, as played by the always magnificent Fiona Shaw. Otherwise, it seems like the movie goes out of its way to make Kate look as unglamorous as possible – which is fine. Not everyone is Carol Aird. But, we get it, she’s working class and work is hard – especially for women working in a man’s world.

I’ve sometimes grumbled about the trend of lesbian prestige period pieces. Sure, lesbians lived in the past when things were tougher and society was different and that’s interesting. But how about we tell some contemporary lesbian stories up in here for a change? We still exist today, you know. (Another reason “Happiest Season” is so damn refreshing in its conventional contemporary appeal.)

In a perfect world we’d have a little of everything. The grim period pieces. The sweeping romances. The cheesy rom-coms. We would have diverse choices. We could choose to be picky about genre. You know, like straight folks get to be every day when they choose between the endless options of entertainment in television, film, music and more created precisely for them and their sexual orientation.

But we’re not in a perfect world, yet – clearly. So we take what we can get and we’re happy it’s taken if nothing else seriously. “Ammonite” is definitely worth seeing, it’s a solidly crafted and at times emotionally aflame story of finding love in a hopeless place. And, we’ll always have that scene. That alone might be enough to rock our worlds, so to speak.

”Ammonite” debuts on Video-on-Demand tomorrow, Dec. 4

My Weekend Crush

Yes, let’s get all the jokes out now. “Portrait of a Lady with Fossils.” “Carol for Rocks.” “The Paleontology Word.” The trailer for “Ammonite,” Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan’s lesbian fossil hunter period romance, is finally upon us and it looks scrumptious but also, um, a tad familiar. Women in frocks. Waves crashing. Bodicies tightening. Unspoken yearning. Women longing for other women while staring sadly into the sea sounds like one of those overly specific genre categories that pops up randomly on Netflix.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, “Ammonite” the movie features intimate sex scenes between Kate and Saoirse including one that “it makes the 2015 lesbian love drama Carol, an awards contender starring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara, seem tame.” I mean, they were relatively tame, if you think about it. Kate, who plays real-life fossil hunter Mary Anning, said of the “explicit” scene: 

“Saoirse and I choreographed the scene ourselves. It’s definitely not like eating a sandwich. I just think Saoirse and I, we just felt really safe. Francis was naturally very nervous. And I just said to him, ‘Listen, let us work it out.’ And we did. ‘We’ll start here. We’ll do this with the kissing, boobs, you go down there, then you do this, then you climb up here.’ I mean, we marked out the beats of the scene so that we were anchored in something that just supported the narrative. I felt the proudest I’ve ever felt doing a love scene on Ammonite. And I felt by far the least self-conscious.” 

So there you have it, lesbian sex is definitely not like eating a sandwich. Unless, well, you use a lot of tongue when you eat a sandwich. Ahem.

I am, as always, excited to see another prestige lesbian drama. Kate has always been a favorite actress of mine, and Saoirse is extremely talented as well. May the story take them somewhere new and interesting (i.e. not in morose queer lady tears, ‘cause we’ve all seen that movie too many times already). I mean, some people in history had to have happy endings, right? Let us hope. Happy safe, healthy and righteous weekend, all.

That Rocks

Looks like we’re gonna see Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan’s Victorian-era fossil hunting lesbian love story (wow, say that three times fast) in the relatively near future. U.S. indie distributor Neon has picked up the period piece, about real-life paleontologist/fossil hunter Mary Anning and a young woman she meets (played by Saoirse) along the English seaside.

According to Deadline, the film is:

“...set in 1800s England, as acclaimed but unrecognized fossil hunter Mary Anning (Winslet) works alone on the rugged Southern coastline. With the days of her famed discoveries behind her, she now searches for common fossils to sell to tourists to support herself and her ailing mother. When a wealthy visitor entrusts Mary with the care of his wife Charlotte (Ronan), she cannot afford to turn his offer down. Proud and relentlessly passionate about her work, Mary initially clashes with her unwelcome guest, but despite the distance between their social class and personalities, an intense bond begins to develop, compelling the two women to determine the true nature of their relationship.”

According to my eyes, the “nature of their relationship” involved the time-tested lesbian stockphoto tradition of touching foreheads lovingly. And, hopefully, smoochies. So many smoochies.

Now, I know - this is another May-December (or at very least May-late October) lesbian relationship movie. But, hey, it worked for “Carol.”

But it’s not the 19-year age difference between between the actresses that has raised some eyebrows as much as the protestations of a distant relatives of Anning’s that she was totally not The Gay. What we do know is she was born the daughter of a poor cabinetmaker and did not receive much of a formal education or credit - at least at the time - for her contributions to the field of paleontology and the ancient sea monsters she unearthed. She never married and never had children, dying at the age of 47.



Director Francis Lee has defended his interpretation of her life in the film saying, in part:

“After seeing queer history be routinely ‘straightened’ throughout culture, and given a historical figure where there is no evidence whatsoever of a heterosexual relationship, is it not permissible to view that person within another context?...Would these newspaper writers have felt the need to whip up uninformed quotes from self-proclaimed experts if the character’s sexuality had been assumed to be heterosexual?”

I mean, good points. The thing about history is is matters who gets to tell it, it matters so much. I have no idea if Mary Anning was queer or not, but it doesn’t seem too much of a stretch to imagine that she was.

So I can’t wait to see “Ammonite,” which appears to be headed for an award season release by Neon. It’s the same film company behind last year’s sumptuous lesbian love story “Portrait of a Lady on Fire.” So, if it’s anywhere near that quality I’d say we’re in for a treat. And Kate’ butch Victorian look is quite something. Maybe her and Gentleman Jack can become poker buddies, is all I’m saying.

20LezTeen

How do I know 2019 is going to be a good and gay year at the movies? Mainstream Hollywood is giving us Bisexuals in Black, Terminator: San Junipero and Captain Marvel-ous, but there will be at least two lesbian movies featuring high-profile casts. Late last year it was announced that Kristen Stewart was in talks to star in a Clea DuVall-penned lesbian holiday rom-com AND that Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan are set to star in a lesbian period piece. Sure, it’s not quite 2018’s Carol Effect wave of movies just yet. But it is a super gay start.

A little more on both projects.

K-Stew’s “Happiest Season” was written and directed by Clea (who co-wrote the script with writing partner Mary Holland). Per its synopsis, Kristen would play a “young woman whose plan to propose to her girlfriend while at her family’s annual holiday party is upended when she discovers her partner hasn’t yet come out to her conservative parents.” K-Stew starring in a contemporary, heartwarming holiday-themed lesbian rom-com? We truly are living in the future.

Kate and Saoirse’s “Ammonite” is set in seaside 1840s England. Kate plays real-life pioneering paleontologist Mary Anning who meets a young, wealthy London woman who is sent to the coast for her “health.”

Butter that popcorn, kittens. It’s gonna be a super gay ride.