Gender Fuck Thursday: Red Carpet Edition

Well, here’s a good trend for a change. You know, not like the precipitous decline of our democracy and dismantling of our public services. But, uh, a positive fashion trend counteracts all that, right? Right?!? Anyway, at least we have women in suits. I’ve noticed more female stars opting for suits on the red carpet recently and obviously I am not mad about that. Oversized suits seem to be the specific trend, but I don’t size discriminate. So, please enjoy this stylish selection. Does it make up for the undeniable creep of fascism? Yeah, no. But I’ll take what I can get to spark some joy these days. Keep suiting up, ladies. A grateful nation needs you (well, 75 million of us need you). Nicole Kidman

All these sexy straight roles for Nicole, I say it’s time to mix things up – sapphically speaking. This suit agrees with my casting requests, clearly.

Carrie Coon

Mike White should really fuck us all up and have Carrie’s character and Parker Posey’s character have a wild lesbian affair together on “White Lotus” this season. This tux says it would work.

Halsey

Sure, she looks like she’s running for county comptroller. But you know you’d vote for her based on that suit alone.

Olivia Wilde

Whereas Olivia looks like she’s everyone’s favorite poetry professor at a small liberal arts college.

Cynthia Erivo

I think this is her only suit during this whole Wicked premiere/award season tour. Which, as we can see here, is a shame for us.

Cate Blanchett

Ties are, obviously, optional.

Lisa

Bow ties are also optional (hear that, Brandi?).

Janelle Monae

Shirts are also, obviously, optional.

Keke Palmer

Pants, too!

Kate Winslet

Giving us a choice between black and white suits, really Winslet – you are too kind and I totally understand why you needed all that space on the door.

All the Queers Fit to Cast

How about a big old queer roundup of roles for big old queers to round out the week? Yeah, say that five times fast. As we all search desperately for things to look forward to in the next four years, here are some projects and actors who I am thrilled remain busy for the foreseeable future.

Let’s start things off with Elliot Page, who is on a bit of a run what with his signing a deal with Bell Media and being super cool and all. Next up will be the high-profile Christopher Nolan adaptation of The Odyssey. The ancient Greek poem by Homer will also star – among many, many stars – Matt Damon, Tom Holland, Zendaya, Robert Pattinson, Lupita Nyong’o, Anne Hathaway, Charlize Theron and Samantha Morton. No idea yet which character Elliot will play, but with a cast like that it seems any role is a good role. After the “Emilia Pérez” debacle, it’s nice to see trans actors making good headlines in what we at least hope will be a very good project.

Next, more high profile queer casting news. Pansexual actress Jena Malone will star in a highly anticipated new series from “Stranger Things” creators The Duffer Brothers. This news made me happy for a number of reasons including but definitely not limited to the fact that it alerted me to Jena’s pansexuality. I had missed her 2022 coming out somehow. But I’ve been a fan since “Contact” and have always admired her independent steak. Also did you catch her in last year’s “Love Lies Bleeding?” Her new series, “The Boroughs,” has been described as “Stranger Things” but in a retirement home. Joining Jena will be Geena Davis, Alfre Woodard, Alfred Molina and Bill Pullman, among many others as a “group of (older) misfits who fight an otherworldly evil.” So, the Upside Down but with arthritis and reading glasses, I guess. No news yet on Jena’s character, but at 40 she seems too young to be a resident. Maybe she’ll be staff? Who know but just like with “Stranger Things” I hope and expect there to be prominent queer characters.

And finally, more gays and more laughs are coming to the series remake of “The Burbs.” Based on the 1989 black comedy by the same name starring Tom Hanks and Carrie Fisher, the TV reboot has already announced its lead queer star Keke Palmer. But now they’ve also added Paula Pell. Two queers, one show! The wildly charismatic Keke first got my full attention in Jordan Peel’s 2022 “Nope” and is currently starring alongside SZA in “One of Them Days,” which I can’t wait to catch once it comes to streaming. Paula is fresh off the sadly canceled “Girls5Eva” (come on, isn’t there another streamer out there who wants to experience “Yesternights” for themselves!) and basically always plays middle-aged gay lady so let’s hope that trend continues here.

If nothing else, it’s nice to see a bunch of gays gainfully employed in our current political hellscape.

Oceans L

Admittedly, sometimes I run out of gay things to post about. Luckily, there is no shortage of images that make me think gay things that I can post about instead. So for this Hump Day, please follow along into my daydreams as I think about all the scenarios Sarah Paulson and Cate Blanchett can get into together. Oceans 8 spinoff where Lou and Tammy decide to start their own freelance heist consulting business - exclusively for lesbian clientele. What? A gal can always dream. Oh, and they need to add Keke Palmer to the next movie, because this look from last weekend’s NAACP Awards is pure Oceans L. Make it happen, lesbian movie gods. Make. It. Happen.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Keke Edition

Talk about making all of your lesbian R&B music video fantasies come true. Thank you Keke and Usher, who with their “Boyfriend” music video gave the world and petulant tech billionaires everywhere a lesson on true trolling and queer gals everywhere even more reasons to swoon (fine, the straight ladies/gay boys can swoon about Usher too). In case you don’t keep up with the latest celebrity tea and assorted other hot beverages, back in July Keke’s then boyfriend criticized her because of a video of Usher serenading her at his residency in Vegas. Like he really said, “It’s the outfit tho.. You a mom.”

Anyway, that’s why he is her ex-boyfriend. If you want more schadenfreude you’re welcome to Google the whole sorted saga yourself. But, in the ultimate clapback, Keke has now teamed with Usher for his music video to “Boyfriend” which… like, again, chef’s kiss for trolling. And lesbian chef’s kiss for R&B fantasy wish fulfilment. Like Kee dressed exactly as Usher doing all his moves and being fine as hell in the process? Yes, pleases and thank yous.

Keke, who has repeatedly reaffirmed her own queerness, thanked Usher for casting her in the video and making her own dreams of being Usher in an Usher video come true. This is such an endlessly relatable statement for queer women everywhere, who no doubt at some point in their lives wished they could be in the place of the leading man they were watching on screen and make the women swoon for them instead.

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Like, if Keke Palmer serenaded me in Vegas wearing that Usher outfit, yeah. She would be definite boyfriend material.