Over Like That

What the fuck was that, quite literal, shit? Like, really and truly, that was shitty. If you’re like me, you have continued to struggle through successive seasons of “And Just Like That…” because of your Cosmopolitan-colored nostalgia about “Sex and the City.” While I think, for the most part, the reboot’s biggest flaws come from trying too hard to atone for its past sins – and also not exactly knowing what to do with middle-aged women with middle-aged problems – the finale felt a little bit like it hated middle-aged women altogether. Or, perhaps, it hated its middle-aged female viewers – though truly its female viewers of all ages.

How else can you explain subjecting us to literal turds. Poop. Fecal matter. Shit, actual shit, was one of the final indelible images of a show its largely female fanbase has invested the last 27 years of their lives in. And we had to listen to two – TWO – different men pee. Maybe that was for the gay men, but still. What?

And don’t get me started on Miranda’s final scenes involving her literally on her knees cleaning up someone else’s shit. Like, what did Cynthia Nixon do to Michael Patrick King to deserve Miranda’s crown as No. 1 Cringe Queen through the entire series run?

As much as I grouse about “And Just Like That…” it remains one of the few major TV series with a main cast composed entirely of 50-and-60-something female stars. And that matters. I still like these characters, and I will always love the sisterhood they created. Their friendship remains the draw, and I’m glad at least they all still have each other. No, we won’t be mentioning Samantha. We already had real shit to deal with. We’ve suffered enough.

p.s. Also don’t get me started with the giant doll.

p.p.s. Honestly, I think my favorite part was hearing the O.G. “Sex and the City” theme play through the final credits. Cosmos up, ladies, for the memories.

Oh, That Again

Against my better judgement and all reason, I just keep watching “And Just Like That…” Nostalgia, it seems, is a hell of a drug. So my lingering late 90s, early 2000s affection for this show continues. Because if it can survive Che Diaz, it can survive anything. As a person who does not watch any of the Real Housewives or other idle rich people arguing for cameras shows, AJLT is I guess my guilty substitute. Except I have history with these women, and now feel weirdly invested in them as they age. And, off the top of your head, how many TV shows can you think of where all the headline stars are women in their 60s (Sarah Jessica Parker and Kristin Davis, both 60) and 50s (Cynthia Nixon, 59, Sarita Choudhury, 58, Nicole Ari Parker, 54)? I’m actually interested to see what kind of lesbian adventures/misadventures Miranda gets up to in the new season now she is Che-less. I certainly hope for less cringe for her romantic storylines this season, though it may not be possible. Guess we’ll find out soon enough.

Girls Still Wanna Have Fun

I can’t remember if I’ve shared this before (I mean, it’s been SEVENTEEN YEARS after all — also I’m old), but “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” was one of my favorite 1980s movies. I was a child of the MTV Generation (shout out to my Gen X peeps — how those knees doing?). And this movie was so incredibly cool to my little grade school mind. I also remember it getting played what seems like endlessly on TV (or maybe that was just my family’s pirated HBO subscription).

I haven’t watched it in ages, obviously. But Sarah Jessica Parker, Helen Hunt and Shannen Doherty all in one movie? Please. Like this little future gay isn’t going to be obsessed with this movie. In fact, I think perhaps the only 80s movie I hold in even closer regard is “Just One of the Guys.” And, lesbians, we all know the reason(s) for that. Two of them in particularly. Like, raise your hand if that’s your root because hello.

Right, where was I? Proving you can’t keep a dancing queen down/there are no new ideas, Hollywood is planning a “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” reboot. And, hope of hopes, this one might actually be gay. The script is from “The L Word: Generation Q” showrunner Marja-Lewis Ryan and Executive Story Editor Allie Romano. Like, come on, if they don’t make it gay we riot, right?

One of the things I sincerely hope they do not bring back the Jonathan Silverman nerd character who is actually just a sexist horndog/future incel. Think any Anthony Michael Hall role in the 1980s that’s supposed to be dweeby cute but actually secretly misogynistic. Like, tune in Tokyo? That’s a Me Too nightmare.

Though, I do deeply appreciate that every single one of its female stars went on to be wildly famous while the John “Cougar” Mellencamp look-alike they cast as the lead apparently sells real estate in Solvang.

As I was saying, MAKE IT QUEER AND LET’S HAVE FUN. The end.

Like That Again

And just like that, I guess we’re doing this again. I kind of feel about “Sex and the City'' how I feel about “The L Word.” Both were revolutionary at the time. Both carry an enormous amount of cultural nostalgia. And both are very of their times. So now, honestly, I feel kinda the same about their reboots. Having followed these characters so long, might as well continue out of loyalty and curiosity. Granted, I also watched ”The L Word: Generation Q” because I want to see the lives of queer and other LGBTQ+ people reflected on screen. But Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte? Well, they’re like old college friends who I catch up with a couple times a year and still reminisce about all the hot goss of days gone by. Just don’t ask me about Che. Because I don’t wanna talk about Che. While I respect and enjoy Cynthia Nixon and Sara Ramirez, their work and their activism — suffering sappho do those two have negative chemistry together. Also, who fucks in the kitchen while their just out of hip surgery best friend pees the bed? Bad form. Such bad form. But, anyway, we’re getting more of their grand romance which, OK, I guess. Someone said that in the trailer all of the lead stars get their own “emotional support woman of color” this season and OMFG the accuracy. I have no comment on the return of Aidan other than I’ve met John Corbett before and he was very nice and ridiculously tall.

More of That

Well, it’s taken me longer to recover from Thanksgiving weekend than I thought. Please enjoy the new full-length trailer to “And Just Like That…” Admittedly, Miranda seems a lot less potentially gay in this one, and there’s the promient placement of Steve. But a gal can dream. And at least we get Sara Ramirez on our team for sure. Also, there are shoes, if you’re into that.

And Just Like Gay...

So the new “And Just Like That...”/Sex and the City: Generation Q trailer came out. And, um, things are definitely more queer than they used to be with the ladies who brunch. I don’t know if this is yet another case of Wishful Gay Thinking, but does Miranda seem...interested?

Besides the obvious (and now bittersweet) inclusion of the show’s obligatory gay BFFs Stanford Blatch (the late Willie Garson) and Anthony Marentino (Mario Cantone), the SATC universe may have finally beefed up its queer female representation. Yes, I know, there was the thing where they had Samantha hooked up with a fiery lesbian artist played by Sonia Braga. And they had Miranda kiss that one lesbian lawyer to make sure. And they had Charlotte temporarily run with a gang of Power Suit Lesbians because why not. Right, and they had SJP’s Carrie kiss Alanis Morissette and then immediately freak out and flee the premises. But, besides that, there truly have not been any regular queer female characters in their New York City. And that’s just crazypants because you NYC gals have the Cubbyhole.

Anyway, while I haven’t read any official confirmation that “And Just Like That...” now verified Lesbo Street Cred, here is a completely speculative assessment of the possibly, maybe and definitely queer content in the series revival’s first teaser trailer.

Evie in the City

Any show that casts Nicole Ari Parker always gets some residual Lesbo Street Cred because of her seminal role in the 1995 indie cinema darling and teen lesbian rom-com “The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love.” Just to clarify, I don’t think her character who appears to be a new bestie of Charlotte’s is queer, mind you. But you can never be sure.

We’re Roommates, Honest

So I don’t know who this super cool and fun-seeming mystery stranger Miranda is conversing with on the subway platform, but I detect more chemistry in that split-second arm touch than between Katherine Heigl and Alexis Bledel during the entire 95-minutes of “Jenny’s Wedding.” Yes, I am reaching back into the wayback lesbian cinema machine for this post, why do you ask?

Sara. Freaking, Ramirez.

Truly, need I say more?

Lesbian Twinsies Already

Getting awfully matchy matchy with their clothing color schemes.

Fine, It’s Steve

Fine, Steve made the trailer along with who I can only assume is their tall ginger son.

Again, all this could just be Wishful Gay Thinging. But a queer gal can dream until Dec. 9.

SGALGG & GGALGG: Golden Globes Edition

Maybe, given the makeup of this year’s Golden Globe attendees, I should just change this feature from Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals to Hell Yeah Everyone Is Gay. Fine, we’ll keep it SGALGG. But us gay gals left their mark, and from the looks (an actions) of our straight counterparts there might even be a little LGBT envy happening. But then, who doesn’t feel that when a beautiful women shows up in a tuxedo?

Evan Rachel Wood

The bisexual star said on the red carpet she wore her Dietrich-inspired tux to show women and girls that dresses aren’t a requirement. But also probably a little bit because it’s hot.

Sarah Paulson & Amanda Peet

While the girlfriend is home, the Paulson will peck.

Gillian Anderson

Mostly I just wanted to post a picture of Gillian Anderson, that’s why.

Priyanka Chopra & Sofia Vergara

Clearly Sofia is giving Priyanka her seal of approval here.

Terri Abney & Ruth Negga

Clearly we have interrupted something intimate here.

Viola Davis & Tracee Ellis Ross

Fine, nothing all that gay is happening here. But any day you can post Viola Davis arm porn is a good day.

Sarah Jessica Parker, Reese Witherspoon & Nicole Kidman

When you’re trying to invite someone in to be your third.

Kerry Washington, Georgina Chapman & Naomi Campbell

When you’ve already successfully landed someone to be your third.

Thandie Newton & Zoe Saldana

When two will do just fine, thank you.

Meryl Streep

When you’re on top of your game after hexing an angry, hateful Cheeto.

The JLaw of Delight

Oh, Jennifer Lawrence. Just when we think you’re the most delightful person in Hollywood you go and delight us some more. At this point she is clearly the entire Internet’s BFF. Be it her effortless relatability or guileless charm, she is – quite simply – the best. She’s the opposite of stand-offish – no emo red carpet glares of this gal. The antithesis of too cool for school – which of course only makes even cooler. Hilarious – but in a dorky way. Be she falling on the Oscar steps or freaking out at being hit on by professional skeazy old guy Jack Nicholson, she is awesomely real.

Plus, when this gal mugs for the camera, she actually mugs for the camera. Like photobombing Sarah Jessica Parker at the Met Ball Monday night. And then laughing hysterically like we all would when presented with SPJ’s insane fauxhawk headdress. And that, after all, is what we like best about her. She’s like us – sure an incredibly talented, beautiful, famous, rich version of us – but us none the less. Human, and delightfully so. Never change, JLaw. Never ever change.

p.s. I love Marion Cotillard and Lena Dunham’s reactions to the left and right of her during the photobomb.

p.p.s. She also flubbed President Bill Clinton’s name while hosting the GLAAD Awards (fast forward to 3:55). To not love her is surely a sin.

Tank Top Tuesday: Burton’s Babes Edition

You know, I enjoyed “Alice in Wonderland.” Truth be told, I pretty much enjoy all Tim Burton films on one level or another. “Alice” was a good film, not a great film. It was fun, but without some of the wonder you'd expect Burton to bring to the land. But what I really liked were the women in the film (I know, I know – when don’t I like the women in a film?). I wasn’t familiar with Mia Wasikowska before the movie. I’d never seen “In Treatment” and just basically didn’t know her from Mia Hamm. But, oooh and doogie. Did she make an impression. Actually, I think it was her suit of armor that made an indelible impression. Say what you will, but Tim Burton has great taste in women. (Men, too, but – gosh – who doesn’t love Johnny Depp?)

Helena Bonham CarterAlice in Wonderland, Sweeney Todd, Corpse Bride, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Big Fish, Planet of the Apes

Anne HathawayAlice in Wonderland

Christina RicciSleepy Hollow

Pam Grier

Mars Attacks!

Michelle Pfeiffer

Batman Returns

Marion CotillardBig Fish

Sarah Jessica ParkerEd Wood

Winona RyderBeetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands

Mia WasikowskaConsider this a bonus, like Armor Top Tuesday.

City folk

I can’t be the only one who is ridiculously excited about the new “Sex and the City” movie, right? I loved the show, threw parties for its season premieres and mourned its ending with more than a couple cocktails. It’s interesting because the show is so divorced from my real life. I’m no fashionista. One of my greatest fears is attending events where I need to wear heels. And, clearly, I’m not looking for my Mr. Big. But it’s the friendships and humor that had me coming back each week. While the women may have been archetypes, I never thought they were stereotypes.And now that Miranda, err, Cynthia Nixon is family, come on. Isn’t it required viewing? While I’ve tried to stay away from spoilers and the like, I have enjoyed the various trailers and TV spots the film has trotted out leading up to its May 30 debut.

My favorite thing about that spot? Carrie and Miranda’s costume conversation.

Miranda: The only two choices for women: witch and sexy kitten.
Carrie: Oh, you just said a mouthful there, sister.

Snort! Funny, truthful and with just enough sisterhood is powerful to make me not feel guilty.

Though, I have to say my anticipation for the film has gone from “I can’t wait!” to “I want it now!” thanks to the new series of TV spots.

I’ve decided, very belatedly, that Goldfrapp makes everything better. For serious. Just listen. How can you not dance to that? How, I ask you, how?

God, how much do I wish this song was on the soundtrack instead of Fergie’s horrific “Labels of Love”? (You’re going to have to click the link, because I refuse to let that song pollute this space.) All songs with more than two product placements should be banned from the face of the planet. Forever. It may even ruin the SATC theme song for me if it becomes a hit. Make. It. Stop.

As a palate cleaner, how about that dress Cynthia was rocking at the SAT London premiere? Why hello, ladies. How are you today?p.s. Yes, I realize Sarah Jessica Parker’s hat is madness. I’m just going to pretend a fan gave her flowers and she couldn’t think of another place to put them.