The look

What does a lesbian look like, exactly? It’s a good question without a good answer. Because anyone who tells you he or she knows exactly what a lesbian looks like is wrong. Sure, we can generalize. I, myself, have a propensity for plaid shirts and Doc Martens. But that doesn’t mean al ladies who love ladies wear plaid and Docs or have alternative lifestyle haircuts or prefer cargo shorts and love blazers or own a closet full of clothing covered in cat hair.

So then, it’s particularly galling when people in positions of power who certainly should know better say incredibly stupid things about what lesbians look like. Like Florida Lieutenant Governor Jennifer Carroll who is currently embroiled in a lesbian sex scandal of her own. A fired former employee claims she caught the Republican Lt. Gov. and her travel aide in vag-rante* delicto (*because she was under her skirt at her, oh you know) in her office. The Lt. Gov has denied this claim, in possibly the stupidest way possible to deny this claim. Of, just watch for yourself.

In case you missed it: “Usually black women that look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.” Oh, really? What do black women who do engage in relationships like that look like? Wanda Sykes? Tracy Chapman? Jasika Nicole? Meshell Ndegeocello? Alice Walker? Sheryl Swoopes? Please, I am dying to know. Sigh. The Huffington Post has made a nice response slideshow to this general idiotry thank to the Twitter hashtag #ThisIsWhatALesbianLooksLike. It’s well worth a look (and I even recognize some of your lovely face in there – hey girl!) Guess it’s time for a reminder. Lesbians look like a lot of things Women who love women come in all colors and shapes and sizes and clothing choices. Believe me, it would be a lot easier to find a date if we all looked the same and could identify each other more readily in a crowd. But as is we need to rely on shaky gaydar and that fool-proof strategy of steadfastly refusing to make eye contact while passively hoping that cute girl at the bar will come over and say hi. Because I sure can’t find the common visual trait between all these lesbian and bisexual women. Except they’re all beautiful women and think other women are beautiful.

Wanda Sykes

Ellen DeGeneres

Brandi Carlile

Tracy Chapman

Megan Rapinoe

Leisha Hailey

Jasika Nicole

Jane Lynch

Kirsten Vangsness

Sheryl Swoopes

Amber Heard

Rachel Maddow

Josephine Baker

Tank Top Tuesday: Pride Edition

Let’s continue to Pride Week love and feature the ladies we love who love ladies wearing tank tops, which we love. Whew. I think that came out right. Now anyone can wear a tank top, and should – but when a gay lady wear a tank top? *low whistle* There’s just something about the simple act which is subversive yet natural and, of course, so so hot. And if you combine a tank topped lady with a plaid shirted lady, like Portia and Ellen above, well it’s kind of like the lesbian fashion nirvana. So please enjoy some enlightenment by way of these out gay ladies in tank tops. Namaste.

Brandi Carlile

It’s a rare sighting indeed to find Brandi without her vest. Treasure this as one would a white rhino sighting. Not that I think Brandi is a rhino. Oh, dear, this has gotten terribly off track.

Saffron Burrows

Those cheekbones…. Oh, damn, sorry – we were talking about tank tops.

Jenny Shimizu

Like Angie, or anyone, could resist.

Jasika Nicole

I really wish I hadn’t stopped watching “Fringe” years ago.

Alexandra Hedison

Is it some sort of lesbian crime to post Alexandra in the same post I have Ellen and Portia? I don’t know, but let’s risk it anyway.

Jane Lynch

She’s been hiding those under that track suit all these years. Damn you, Ryan Murphy.

Gro Hammerseng

I have no idea how the rules of handball work. But I would happily watch her matches anyway.

Natasha Kai

I’m going to miss her at the Olympics like crazy this summer.

Jillian Michaels

I know this isn’t “technically” a tank top, but it is a lesbian crime to post a picture of Jillian without showing her abs. So, I can’t break two laws in one post.

Martina Navratilova

She’s like The Godmother of Tank Top Tuesday, no?

Amber Heard

You are welcome, lesbians.

Stealth bomb(shells)

So last week during the TCAs one of the big “reveals” was that Sara Gilbert is gay. Of course, it wasn’t really a reveal. She’s been quietly out for years. She has a partner, they have kids, the whole nine. So it’s kind of a duh. But in another way, it’s also a reminder. Sara is one of those stars I always blank on the fact that they’re gay. She’s a stealth gay. Not that she is being stealthy about it, not in the least. But for whatever reason I always forget, at first, that she is family. There are actually quite a few celebrities that fall into that category for me. And that means I don’t write about them that often. Well, no more. I’ve taken my Ginkgo Biloba, so let’s celebrate at the stealth celesbians among us.

Sara Gilbert, The TalkI’m not sure if I’ll watch her new all-mom talk show, but I do think she is one cool mom.

Kirsten Vangsness, Criminal MindsI’m actually kind of mad at Kristen because she is going to be on both Criminal Minds and the new Criminal Minds:Suspect Behavior. Which means, because I love little punky Penelope Garcia so much, I’ll have to add yet another show to my overflowing schedule.

Jasika Nicole, FringeHer character is so cute with Walter. Seriously, they could do a whole sitcom together.

Heather MatarazzoSome think of her as the Merkin, but she’ll always be Weinerdog to me. But either way, she sure looks good with her fiancée (or is it wife now, anyone know?)

Tracy ChapmanI hear she’s been stealth dating Guinevere Turner, too. Sneaky, sneaky.

Saffron Burrows, Law & Order: Criminal IntentSpeaking of stealthy, I don’t know if she is still with Fiona Shaw, but I certainly hope so.