Gender Fuck Thursday of a Certain Age

Someone called me “creepy” for noting that Amber Glenn, who is a 26-year-old fully adult woman, is hot. Which, I might add, could just be empirical fact. Regardless, I would like to comfort those who are concerned about my moral compass, that I would never actually initiate any real-world romantic relationships with someone approximately half my age. Nor do I want to. But, also, I have eyes that work – and I’m not dead. Anyway, to not offend anyone’s sensibilities – delicate or otherwise – how about some Gender Fuck Thursday of a Certain Age? All these women are well within an appropriate age bracket for a Gen Xer who keeps throwing those AARP invitations in the trash.

Suranne Jones, 47

It’s the manspreading for me.

Tracy Chapman, 61

Boy, I wish she would play publicly more so I could objectify the shit out of her…talent.

Cate Blanchett, 56

I’ve never pulled off a velvet suit this well at any age.

Jodie Foster, 63

Granted, I might be on the edge of youngish for Jodie depending on her May-December tolerance. Which clearly would be the only thing holding us back and not the fact that she’s already married and also Jodie Foster.

Jenna Lyons, 57

I wish she was still with J.Crew, because as a Gen Xer I still have major residual nostalgia about that brand and its catalogue.

Regina King, 55

I’m pretty sure I can’t pull off an orange suit either, regardless of age.

Lena Headey, 52

I’ll always have a thing for age-appropriate florists thanks to her.

Cynthia Nixon, 59; Carrie Coon, 45; Christine Baranski, 73

Yes, I know Louisa Jacobson (34) and Taissa Farmiga (31) are just sweet baby angel children, so please accept the reverse 20+year age gap with Christine as my mea culpa.

p.s. In case further apology is needed, please accept this with my most sincere age-appropriate feelings (just put your thumb over 38-year-old Karen Gillan’s face if necessary) as everyone else is 50+.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Big Suited Sapphics

Look, nobody loves this Really Big Suits trend on female celebrities more than me. Hello, I named a whole day after my obsession with women in suits. But lest all those straight starlets forget, the lesbians and other WLWs were the O.G. And, obviously, we wear it the best. And here are just a few choice receipts.

Jenna Lyons

Pinstripe always.

Sarah Paulson

Oh, Paulson. You scamp.

Amandla Stenberg

As I was saying about pinstripe.

Lucy Dacus

Is she starring in a Cameron Crowe movie, or is she a lesbian?

Renee Rapp & Towa Bird

Per my previous emails about pinstripes.

Kate Moennig & Leisha Hailey

Shane and Alice 4Eva (but, platonically, because ew).

Tank Top Tuesday

Look, it may well be full-on October and fall and spooky season and whatnot. But that doesn’t mean we can’t give tank tops one last nostalgic hurrah for the year. Especially if those tank tops are seasonally accessorized, à la Leisha here. I mean who doesn’t love keeping things a little corny? Bonus points because October is LGBTQ+ history month and every featured tank top belongs to a historic LGBTQ+ person. I mean, we’re all part of history technically, right?

Leisha Hailey

Sports bras count, you know this. Especially in California where it still very much feels like summer.

Emma Corrin

I used to have strong feelings about armpit hair but now honestly I can’t be arsed in the least bit over it. Also more hardcore gardening pics from celebrities, please. That’s exactly my kink.

Megan Thee Stallion

Scary long nails for spooky sapphic season? As long as they’re paired with a tank top. And, obviously, that tongue. Ahem.

Jenny Lyons

Suspenders also fall under the stapped-top-without-covered-arms tank top umbrella. Please make your fall fashion choices appropriately.

Hayley Kiyoko & Becca Tilley

Lesbian Jesus and Becca Tilley seem very happy and in love in adventurous places in tank tops. So good for them.

Laurie Hernandez

I wish the Olympics were on all the time so we could have Laurie’s wonderfully engaging gymnastic commentary all the time. Even if, uh, this top is probably not broadcast appropriate. But it is appreciated. Ahem again.

Tessa Thompson

Don’t get too excited, that’s her lil sister. But, still, you know – aesthetically, thank you to good genes.