Gender Fuck Thursday: Unbowed

Yes, yes, I know – bow ties are cool. Loosened bow ties? Sometimes, on the beautiful lady, they’re even cooler. Plus, it’s been an insane a year so far and we’re not even half way through. So loosen that bow tie, ladies. Because who the hell knows what is coming next.

Cate Blanchett & Emily Blunt

That this photoshoot exists is proof there is a god and she’s definitely a lesbian.

Sue Perkins

Speaking of lesbians, way to represent, Sue.

Angelina Jolie

I mean, she’s single now – right?

Jane Lynch

It’s always so strange to see her as Spencer’s mom on “Criminal Minds.” But, fear not, she’ll be back to her womanizing comedy ways soon.

Angela Bassett

Sometimes I feel like I watch “American Horror Story” just for her. A lot of the time, actually.

Naomi Watts

Whenever I see Naomi I just think, but seriously, WTF was “Mulholland Drive” about?

Kate Winslet

Mean of her to steal the fainting couch when she knows we’ll need it.

Monica Bellucci

Don’t smoke. Or Monica will stop wearing this.

Tina Fey & Amy Poehler

The cutest prom dates ever.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Break the Tie Edition

Tied! Untied! Tied! Untied! Tied! Untied! OK, you get where I’m going here, right? I’ve discussed my love of a nice tie – bow or neck – in the past. But the question always remains – tied or untied? Which is sexier? Often it’s situational. Start of the date: tied. End of the date: untied. Really, the great thing about a tie is its ability to be either or, whenever you want it. Fine, too much kumbatie for you? Then go ahead and decide for yourself. Tied? Untied? Delightfully loose like Noni? Some choices are just…fun.

Janelle MonaeTied, definitely tied.

Jane LynchWait, untied, definitely untied.

Noomi RapaceDammit. No, I mean it, tied.

Kate WinsletNo! I was so wrong. Untied!

Regina SpektorFine. I give up.

Monica BellucciI said I give up.

Hope SoloNow you’re just hurting me.

Naomi WattsOfficially dead.

Right, so what did you decide? Tied or untied? I know, both.

Gender Fuck Thursday

I will fully admit to not understanding the whole mustache meme. What’s that all about? Why does everyone have a big black fake Mr. Pringles stache all of a sudden? Kid these days. I don’t really get it. Of course, my father had a full mustache and beard for basically all of his life, so maybe I just associate it with dad things and not the apparent old-timey whimsy it’s supposed to imply. Or maybe I’m just old curmudgeony, instead of timey. What can I say, I’m just a sucker for some soft, smooth skin. Still, on Catherine Deneuve I will accept any and all facial hair. And a bowler. And a bowtie. And cufflinks. Sweet fancy Moses, I love cufflinks. Though, other than Catherine, staches just aren’t my jam. (That is what the youths are calling it, no?) I dunno. But I do know that while we may have to agree to disagree on fake facial hair, I hope we can all agree that a lady in menswear will never go out of style. Plus, she has the added bonus of never having to worry about – shall we say – unfortunate mustache tickle. And, to make amends for dissing the old-timey mustache, how about some old-timey black and white gender fuck.

[Hat tip, Jennifer for the delightful Deneuve photo above.]

Isabella RosselliniI used to have a real thing for double-breasted suits. I mean, the name alone.

Zoe SaldanaShoulder pads, on the other hand, I never had a thing for. But all of a sudden I don’t mind so much.

Anne HathawayProper tailoring is critical to allow movement. Yay, tailoring.

Milla JovovichNot everyone can pull off all white. Luckily Milla is not everyone.

Vanessa ParadisHowever, everyone should have a lounging around tuxedo. It should be, like, a rule.

Gemma ArtertonSeriously, I think this lounging around tuxedo rule could be revolutionary.

Monica BellucciAdmit it, most of your wildest dreams aren’t nearly this delicious.

Jessie Matthews, “Just a Girl” (1935)Now this kind of old-timey has my full endorsement.

Gender Fuck Thursday

Beyoncé may have emphatically sung about going “to the left, to the left,” but today is all about the right. No, not the state of being correct or, banish the thought, the political affiliation. I’m talking about the actual physical direction. As in turn to your right. Your other right, Brittany. Hey, not all the themes are deep. But they are hot. So without further ado, all righty then.

Piper Perabo
Monica Bellucci
Dita Von Teese
Janelle Monáe
Tilda Swinton
Kelly Clarkson
Katharine Hepburn
Juliette LewisWell, there’s always a contrarian.

p.s. Hey, tumblesbians. I’m always extremely, extremely flattered when you post my pictures. But, if possible, please provide a link back. Consider it old-school reblogging. In keeping with today’s theme, it’s just the right thing to do. Merci buckets.

When NLM mets SGALGG

So, Monica Bellucci and Sophie Marceau are starring together in the new film “Ne Te Retourne Pas” (Don’t Look Back) which premiered at Cannes last weekend. It’s a psychological thriller that sees Sophie’s character morph, quite literally, into Monica’s character. This apparently caused both women great mental distress. Which is in turn where the movie loses me. Hello, if I suddenly looked like Sophie Marceau or Monica Bellucci I think I might feel like I’d won the lottery. But, potato, potato. Perhaps the best thing about the movie so far is that it affords us the opportunity to ogle the extra special when Naked Lady Monday mets Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals action between Monica and Sophie. I mean, what better way to illustrate a European goddess version of Freaky Friday than to have its two stars get naked and hug? [Hat tip, Elisabeth for the magazine scans and Eletta and Bénédicte for the heads up!]

Is it me, or does Monica look a little, um, possessive? Though, I guess, can you blame her?

La beauté vérité

I've said it once and I'll say it a thousand times: Photoshop is destroying our perception of beauty. Sure, we all want to look better and it's perfectly natural to want to hide your flaws. But what passes as beauty these days is essentially make believe. The message that sends to women, young and old, is one of constant failure. We want to look like the women in the glossy magazines, but even those women don't look like themselves. So, really, what hope is there?

Well, for once, glossy magazines are coming to our rescue. Elle France has released a “Stars Without Makeup” editions featuring unadorned, unaltered European female stars. No (well, very little) makeup. No Photoshop. No retouching. The results are amazing. The three alternate covers featuring Monica Bellucci, Eva Herzigova and Sophie Marceau are portraits in beauty – real beauty. The kind of beauty you see when a woman wakes up in the warm morning light or comes out of the shower fresh and smelling only of skin. You know, the good stuff.

Sure, let's not kid ourselves, these women are all ridiculously gorgeous to begin with. So they're working with a definite advantage already. But this celebration of women and, even if only for one issue, recognition of the artificial beauty trap we find ourselves in is refreshing. Besides the cover models, the issue also includes pictures of Charlotte Rampling, Inès de la Fressange, Anne Parillaud, Karin Viard and Chiara Mastroianni shot by Peter Lindbergh. Good God, I'm so excited to see Charlotte Rampling's portrait I might just buy a ticket to France and so I can pick up a copy of the magazine myself.

To love women is to love the sum of her parts, all of them – even the imperfect ones. That we've come to a point where it's brave or shocking or daring even to show women looking natural is a sad commentary on culture. It's not brave or shocking or daring. It's what women look like – beautiful.

Naked Lady Monday

It’s back! Yes, Naked Lady Monday is back. Totally, totally back – well, make that backs. Maybe I should have called it Naked Lady Backs. Today we celebrate the female back in all its divine poetry. I could follow the elegant slope of a woman’s back forever. In fact, if there is a heaven, that would be what I want mine to look like. Just one long, delicious curve that ends in nirvana. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, the female back is my second favorite part of the female body. Why? It’s just damn sexy. Period.

Emily BluntAnna FrielNicole KidmanKate WinsletLiv TylerMonica BellucciVanessa Paradis[Click any, all to enlarge. Hat tip, Sinful-Caesar for the yum.]