Bound Again

Speaking of OGs returning just in time for Pride, did you hear about that “Bound” 30th anniversary reunion earlier this month? Let’s pretend none of us heard the whole it’s been 30 years since “Bound” came out part and instead celebrate Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon and Lilly Wachowski and some of the fellas from the movie (men, they always have to tag along) showing up to talk lesbian sex and queer subtext. It reminded me that there’s apparently an uncensored European cut of the movie. European kittens, please, help a gal out. Drop a non-geoblocked link in the chat, you know, for charity.

Corky Was Here

If you didn’t think “The Matrix” movies were cool in the early 2000s you’re probably lying. And if you didn’t have an enduring crush on Carrie-Anne Moss as Trinity you’re definitely lying. We all did, hon, get in line. And as convoluted and possibly overly ambitious as the sequels might have become, the films were a revolution in so many ways beyond their stylized, incredibly cool aesthetic. The benefit of time and perspective allows us to see them now as the trans and queer allegories their creators the Wachowskis meant them to be.

So imagine my delight when Twitter pointed out an Easter Egg for queer fans, particularly queer female fans of those talented Wachowski siblings. In the new, highly anticipated trailer for “The Matrix Resurrections,” Lana Wachowski gave all us gay ladies a true treat. As Neo stares up at the “sky” on the streets of San Francisco a sign looms in the background. A sign for “Corky’s Massage Spa & Salon” that includes a signature labrys. (Check out that bottom right hand corner in the above screencap, kittens.)

Yes, that Corky. As in Corky & Violet. As in “Bound.” As in 1996 lesbian noir crime caper that made us all either want to be and/or be with Corky/Gina Gershon and Violet/Jennifer Tilly.

I love that even in the meta, made-up & messed-up Matrix world, the power of Corky & Violet transcends. And, obviously, Violet runs the salon — and possibly the hidden, members-only tattoo parlor in the back.

SGALGG: Thankful Edition

You know what we haven’t done in a while? Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals, or what I like to call SGALGG – that acronym that sounds like you’re choking on a cracker. But this being a week where we give thanks to what we’re thanksful for, I am thankful for how delicious two straight ladies look when they’re acting totally gay. Also, cheese. I’m thankful for cheese. But mostly the thing about how beautiful two women can look together. Like, for instance, Cate Blanchett and Nicole Kidman. Now that is an attractive couple anyone would be delighted to invite over for Thanksgiving dinner.

Lea Michele & Michelle ChoHow dare she cheat on Dianna like this.

Lisa Edelstein & Dianna AgronDianna, as you can see, did not take Lea’s indiscretion lightly.

Emily Blunt & Allison JanneyIt is taking all of Emily’s will power not to look down.

Tracie Thoms Shanola Hampton & Emmy RossumShanola* is all, “Honey, not here. Later, later.”

*Apologies, she looks so much like Tracie in that picture. Also, I’ve never seen Shameless.


Mary McCormack, Gina Gershon & Kathryn HahnIn Gina’s defense, Mary clearly doesnt care if people look her in the eyes or not.

Jennifer Carpenter & Julie BenzIf only Deb and Rita had dated instead. For one thing, Rita would probably still be alive.

Maggie Q & Aisha TylerIf they just keep smiling, maybe no one will notice the piece of Maggie’s jacket Aisha ripped out earlier while, um, you know.

Gillian Anderson & Kate WinsletNow Kiss. Now Kiss. Now Kiss. NOW KISS.

Olivia Wilde & Sasha AlexanderSo, admittedly, they’re not doing anything particularly gay together here. But seeing them together is making all women all over the planet gay.

Tank Top Tuesday

I like my women doing everyday things in tank tops. Because the unique charms of the tank are applicable in almost any situation. Like with our friend Alexandra Hedison grabbing a bite to eat. Glad she decided against buttering that toast though, because we all know her penchant for getting carried away with knives. My point, and do have something close to one, is that the tank top is a versatile accessory which is appropriate for any activity.

Zhang ZiyiWhen considering how best to recycle the morning paper.

Alison LohmanWhen quenching one’s thirst after a day of garden work.

Zoe SaldanaWhen moisturizing before bedtime.

Charlize TheronWhen contemplating the theory of relativity.

Jennifer Tilly & Gina GershonWhen plotting how to rip off the mob and have great lesbian sex.

Jessica BielWhen hunting vampires, duh.

Anna FrielWhen stewing over the injustice of canceling “Pushing Daisies.”

Kate BeckinsaleWhen thoughtfully testing the room temperature before guests arrive. Verdict: It’s a little nippy.

Dream Team

Oh, please, you knew I couldn't resist. Who is that sexy lady in the Tina Fey glasses? Oh, wait... In case you missed it, here is the best (and sort of the only) reason to have watched the season premiere of “Saturday Night Live” over the weekend. If Tina's accent was any more on-the-money I'd expect to see a dead moose tied to the hood of her truck. And how great was it to see Amy Poehler do her Hillary again? Sigh, yet another reason to bemoan that fact that Hill didn't prevail in the primaries.

So now the only question is who does the best creationism-teaching, Roe v. Wade-abolishing, crony-hiring, Bush Doctrine-unknowing and (still) Bridge to Nowhere-lying governor of Alaska: Tina or Gina?

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin

Gina Gershon as Sarah Palin

While it's hard to beat a bikini, you know whose clip I prefer. (Last name rhymes with gay...ahem.) My favorite line? “I can see Russia from my house!”

And with that, I think it's time to stop talking about she who should not be vice president. She is a distraction, and a dangerous distraction at that. Also, in real life, she is actually not all that funny. Nope, not funny at all.

Naked Lady Monday

The other day while scanning my site stats (I am huge in Luxembourg, HUGE) I checked to see the latest, hilarious search terms people were Googling to land here (“Hillary Clinton femslash” is my all-time personal favorite). That day I found someone who happened upon the site while searching “classy nude lady.” So today, as a public service, let me unequivocally say: “Internets, I've got your classy nude ladies right here!” Ahem. Also, to the person who arrived by asking “how do I know if my yogurt is bad,” my advice would be to smell it. Please, world, no need to thank me. I'm just happy to help.

Mariska HargitayAnnie LennoxMary-Louise ParkerSandra OhChloe SevignyElizabeth PerkinsNaomi WattsGina GershonGabrielle Union