Vacation Vixen: Sandra Bullock

What? It’s a Tuesday.

Vacation Vixen: Naya Rivera

It’s been a whole week since Naya was crowned the new AfterEllen Hot 100 champion, so I just thought I’d check. Yep, still hot like fire. Proceed.

Vacation Vixen: Kate Winslet

Remember when I said how much I loved Kate’s new shorter crop? I was wrong. So, so wrong.

Vacation Vixen: Alex Kingston

I will forever and always hear the word “spoilers” in Alex’s voice. Believe me, sweetie, this is a very good thing.

Vacation Vixen: Sarah Shahi

Right, so I’m vacation for the next three weeks. Yes, three weeks. While I’m away I’ll probably still keep posting on Twitter and Tumblr when I can, or as much as my international internet access allows. So please, feel free to follow my holiday adventures and come back here every day for a fresh, hot new Vacation Vixen while I’m away. Oh, who am I kidding, I’m going to have to tell you all of this again tomorrow. You caught sight of the reflection of a certain part of Sarah’s in the mirror and you haven’t heard a word I’ve said since – haven’t you? Also, I think you’re drooling.

Hey, hotties

So the annual AfterEllen.com Hot 100 came out yesterday. In case you were living under some big lesbian rock (which happens, they’re rent controlled and surprisingly cozy), Naya Rivera won this year. I’m thrilled to little bits and pieces by this for several reasons. 1) She is hot, I know, I was standing mere inches from her two weekends ago. 2) She is gracious and wonderful to her fans, many of them rabid lesbian fans. And 3) She is doing a world of good with her nuanced, evolving portrayal of Santana on “Glee.” So big, fantastic, sloppy, possibly wet congratulatory kisses to Naya for her much-deserved win. I actually told her at the GLAAD Media Awards I was sure she was going to win and her reaction was almost verbatim her tweet yesterday about the news: “Oh my gosh, that’s amazing!” Who says “Oh my gosh?” Just adorable people, that’s who. What? Is my smitten kitten showing? Whatever, I’m on vacation starting tomorrow – professionalism can suck it.

But, of course, whenever there’s a list of anything (hotties, TV shows, humus recipes, paint thinners, etc.) you also have people complaining about whoever is on the list. “How could Person X not be on this list?!” “How could Person Y be on this list?!” “You are all nuts because Person Z should be the only person on this list 100 times, and then another 100 times because that’s how awesome Person Z is.” “Whatever, Person Z is fat.” Sigh.

I’ve discussed the sometimes problematic exercise of ranking women in the first place before. But I consider the AfterEllen Hot 100 voting to be a somewhat respectful objectification, more than just tawdry leering (fine, OK, there’s a lot of that, too). What I enjoy I enjoy most about it is not just looking at this list of beautiful women, but looking at this list of beautiful women who queer women consider beautiful. We can argue all we want about who is and isn’t on the list, but in the end we made the list. This was voted on by us. And that’s why I like it. I think us gay gals bring a different perspective that is all-too-often missing from the oiled-up bikini babes that tend to dominate other such lists. And, no, I am not bashing oiled-up bikini babes. Especially since I hope to see many when I’m near the beach in the very immediate future. Still it’s that variety, the nuance and the reasoning that always intrigues me about this very special list of 100 ladies each year.

The Top 10 this year is particularly interesting:

1. Naya Rivera
2. Heather Morris
3. Jessica Capshaw
4. Sara Ramirez
5. Olivia Wilde
6. Amber Heard
7. Shay Mitchell
8. Dianna Agron
9. Lily Loveless
10. Lea Michelle

I find this group fantastic because it says that what we love most in women this year is women who play gay, are gay or act gay with their best friend on Twitter (oh, Achele, you adorable teases). We think it’s beautiful when women allow us to see ourselves reflected through them – either through their real lives or their portrayals on screen. That’s an important thing to celebrate and acknowledge. We are very loyal to those who are good to us. One of the greatest struggles when you’re part of a minority group is to find yourself in the wider world. Where are the other people like me? How can I see my own life? Who will tell my stories? And these women have given us that, and that’s special.

We may disagree about who ranked where and when. We may argue about who should be higher and who should be lower. We may bemoan what kind of women got left off and what kind got let on. But, in the end, it’s just a list. What is important is that women – in all their forms, shapes, colors and ages – are beautiful. They all deserve to be on a list. And we, as women who love women, should feel great about the simple act of acknowledging our attraction and appreciation for them out loud. Sometimes, you’ve just got so say it. Damn, women are fucking hot.

Live Glee Girls

I’ll tell you one thing, you can’t say those “Glee” kids don’t work hard for their fame. They film an hour-long TV show, which in itself is a lot of work. But on this hour-long TV show they are also required to learn and sing songs, learn and execute choreography and, of course, learn and perform their lines each week. And then, when the season is over, they don’t get off to Aruba like most celebrities for three months of uninterrupted strawberry daiquiri sipping on a private island. No, instead they go out on tour for almost two months. And going on tour requires they sing songs, learn choreography and perform their asses off night-after-night in front of thousands and thousands and thousands of screaming fans. I hope these guys are getting paid overtime and then some because that is a lot more work than the average TV star puts into his or her profession. Oh, and did I mention the tour is also going to be turned into a 3D movie? Seriously, by the time they leave “Glee” I hope every single cast member has made enough money to buy his/her own private island.

“The Glee Live! In Concert!” (their exclamation points, not mine), kicked off on Saturday in Las Vegas. It’ll run until July 3 (ending with dates across the pond for you UK Gleeks). And already there are breathless reports from fans about who danced when to what. And video, lots of delightfully shaky, enthusiastically joyous video. And, because I care, I’m happy to share them with you without even charging a service fee.

Heather Morris, “Slave 4 U”

My life can now be split into two distinct categories: 1) Times when I am watching Heather Morris dance and I am happy, and 2) Times when I am not.

Naya Rivera, “Valerie”

She ran, backwards, in heels. Also, don’t think I didn’t see you checking out Naya’s ass there, Heather.

The Cast, “Born This Way”

Naya wore the Lebanese shirt. And black knee socks. And tiny, tiny, tiny shorts.

Right, so, clearly in the interest of supporting these hard-working actors and allowing them to continue to practice their craft, I must now buy a ticket to this show.

It’s about the appreciating the arts, people – not seeing those tiny, tiny, tiny shorts in person. Ahem.

My Weekend Crush

Before “Bridesmaids” opened to stellar box office last weekend, the prevailing critical buzz was a plaintive plea for men to see this movie despite the fact that it starred a bunch of women. It’s not a chick flick! Funny for everyone! Guys will love this! And while those things are all very, very true, it also irks me a little. Because there’s also nothing wrong with saying this either: Ladies, you will love this movie. No, really, you will love this movie. Laugh until the verge of bladder control issues. Bury your head in your friend’s shoulder from disbelief. Even, yes, maybe mist up a little. This movie is what women have been waiting for from comedies. It is the opposite of everything we hate about the movies we’re supposed to like. In place of treacle and triteness, it gives us hilarity and heart.

The industry always frets that “women’s films” don’t make money. But the truth of the matter is bad women’s films don’t make money. And, let’s be perfectly honest, most chick flicks suck. But when instead you give us quality, fleshed-out characters and whip-smart writing, and we will come to the tune of a $26 million opening weekend. And, heavens, I haven’t even started on the performances. Perfect cast is perfect. Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Wendi McLendon-Covey, Ellie Kemper, Melissa McCarthy. Good God, Melissa McCarthy. You all know I love Kristen to bits and pieces already, but Melissa nearly stole the show from some of the best show stealers in the business. If this cast doesn’t finally and forever put to rest the idiotic “women aren’t funny” bullshit, then nothing ever will.

I think one of the best things about this film, other than the free ab workout from the ugly snort laughing, was leaving the theater made me feel good about being a woman. Too many films make us feel bad about our womanhood. They say only the happily ever after will make us truly happy. But “Bridesmaids” reached for a different kind of aspiration, the sort that says it’s OK to let your freak flag fly. We’re too complex for the stereotypes, too interesting for the Hollywood ending. We women are weird and wonderful creatures, and it’s nice to have a film that celebrates that for a change. Boys, you are more than welcome to come along for the ride. But this movie, this movie is all ours, baby. Happy weekend, all.

Doctor-patient privilege

Here’s a little secret. There are a handful of shows I watch regularly yet write about very irregularly because, well, I need to. Writing about entertainment for fun and occasionally (a tiny amount) of profit means the things most people use to relax becomes the things you take notes during instead of relaxing. This is not a complaint. I choose to do this and feel damn lucky anyone cares about the things I yell at my television. But, still, I choose not to write about every show because sometimes a lady just wants to sack out quietly in front of her TV and just consume the flickering images without having to think about them afterward. For me, these are shows like “Doctor Who” and “Justified” and “Modern Family” and “Being Human.” I watch all these shows and I love them, but you won’t find them in tags.

And one of those shows, which I’ve quietly watched and loved, is “Lost Girl.” I know right now many of you are smacking your foreheads and saying FINALLY! And I know many (many, many) of you emailed and tweeted me about this show last year to alert me to its amazingness. Fear not, it did not fall on deaf ears. I’ve mentioned my total enjoyment of the Lauren & Bo bits before. But news yesterday of the SyFy channel picking up two seasons of the Canadian series to air in the US has convinced me to finally talk about the supernatural sexiness that is this show. A bisexual succubus who feeds on sexual energy and gets involved with a human doctor who is, essentially, enslaved by the Light Fae (supernatural forces, there are Light and Dark, just go with it). Now that is interesting stuff.

But back to Bo and Lauren. I, basically, love them together. The pathos, oh, the gorgeous gorgeous pathos. First there’s Anna Silk, who is like sex on a sharp, pointy stick. She’s like Mary Louise Parker had a younger sister who had a thing for leather. And then there’s Zoie Palmer, who is our soulful Dr. Hotpants. If we all had primary care physicians like her, we’d never ever eat apples. (Because, um, they keep the doctor away…get it?) Together they’re this delicious combination of reserve and hunger, often from the person you least expect. Their slow burn in the first season was grown-up and complicated. And, heavens, was it hot. So, so hot. (Some spoilery bits in this video, but come on, you know you are curious.)

Seriously, thank you, Canada. I will never make an “aboot” joke again if you keep bringing the Bo and Lauren sizzle.

A perfect match

Right, so now I think they’re just fucking with us. Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles at speed dating? Jane and Maura ending up with each other? Jane and Maura being called “a perfect match?” BE MORE GAY, RIZZOLI & ISLES. Seriously. What I’ve always enjoyed about this show is that the powers that be haven’t shied away from the undeniably electric chemistry and unabashed female friendship. Quite the contrary, TNT seems to be reveling in it. In fact after that promo, come on, they’re practically taunting us with the subtext. They’re essentially begging us to make it maintext. Don’t think we won’t, TNT. Don’t think we won’t. Have you seen some of the photo manips out there? Yeah, we’re ready.

Speaking of ready, have you seen the finished use-that-crime-scene-like-a-catwalk promo?

Good gravy, do we really need to wait until July? That just seems interminably long until the return of all that eye sex. Sigh.

Tank Top Kalinda

Hello, hello. I was going to wrassle up some lovely ladies in tank tops for my extremely, extremely late posting today (I just can’t party all weekend like I used to, kittens). But instead I stumbled upon one Kalinda Sharma in a tank top and had to write about it instead. TVline.com has an exclusive clip of Kalinda and someone I will call and old friend together in the finale tonight. The clip won’t embed, but be aware that it is VERY SPOILERY. In fact, everthing that follows from here on out in this post is VERY SPOILERY. So, you’ve been warned.

[CLICK TO WATCH THE CLIP AND THEN COME BACK QUICKLY TO CHAT]

Right, so, first things first. That was hot. Also a) Kalinda needs to wear less high-necked tops and show those girls off more because daaaayum and b) I would watch an entire hour of nothing but Archie Panjabi kissing women’s backs – I really would.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m not a regular “The Good Wife” watcher, which I know I should probably be because it’s a quality grown-up show. So here are a few of my more-than-likely ill-informed thoughts on the matter.

First, while I will take my primetimes hook-ups between female characters on American television almost any way I can get them, I’m always a little disappointed when they’re part of some sort of downward trajectory/shame spiral/reckless period for a character. The perfect example of this is when Thirteen on “House” had her hooking up with hotties phase (when she was also clubbing and drugging, for an episode). Was it hot? Yes. Was there a built-in even if not explicitly intended message that sleeping around with women is reckless. Yes. And given Kalinda’s current fallout with Alicia, I would say she at very least isn’t in the best place emotionally. But, again, I could be off base on this.

Second, I am glad to see however that the realization that she is having yet another affair and potentially hurting another relationship is sinking in. So that seems like growth. And it also suggests that had the lady with the bed head been single, none of this would be a problem and many, many more back kisses would be happening.

“The Good Wife” is a rich and textured show, and I appreciate the slow burn they’ve done while revealing Kalinda’s sexuality. And I also appreciate that as a bisexual character the liking ladies part of her personality isn’t just told in stories about her past or random dangerous hook-ups, as they have mostly with Thirteen.

Man, I wish Jill Flint wasn’t on “Royal Pains” so they could bring Lana back. Now that was some smoking, available, shame-free hotness right there. And, I am not kidding, I could watch Archie kiss women’s backs forever.

GLAAD to meet you

[All images by Lydia Gonzales]

Waiting along a red (well, in this case blue) carpet rope line is a strange thing. You wait, and you wait, and then you wait some more. And then, all of a sudden, people you’ve seen on TV appear before you. It’s really quite bizarre. Like, hey, that’s Mario Lopez. Or, wait, is that Tabatha Coffey. And then your heart about stops dead in your chest because, oh my sweet heavenly God, IT’S NAYA FREAKING RIVERA.

But, I just might be getting ahead of myself. For those who don’t know, I covered the GLAAD Media Awards in San Francisco for AfterEllen.com over the weekend. Naya Rivera was the host and Sara Ramirez was a presenter. “Sex and the City” star Kim Cattrall and “The Kids Are All Right” director Lisa Cholodenko won awards. And I was there for the whole thing. I know, such a terrible gig.

So there I was with I’d guess about 20 to 25 other media outlets – some were photo services, some were for video outlets and many for online publications. Every outlet gets a spot on the carpet marked by one plain white sheet of paper. Luckily, not all the press showed up so my photographer and I didn’t actually have to squeeze ourselves into the size of an 8x10 sheet of paper. We had about two pieces of paper worth of space instead. (p.s. I took this crappy shot, clearly.)

As soon as one of the celebrities stepped on the carpet it was flashbulbs and the event publicist going down the line asking which outlet wanted interviews with which celebrity and then the celebrity’s publicist ushering him/her to each spot and then the celebrity smiling and answering a different variation on the same question X-number of times.

Right, but back to Naya. She came out relatively early, wearing a shimmering gold dress and some fierce, fierce matching heels. If you’ve ever wondered what it looks like the second Naya Rivera steps on a red carpet, it looks like this.

Sorry that’s so ridiculously short. I actually took it on accident, meaning to capture still photos. Clearly I’m no professional videographer, so forgive, well, pretty much everything.

A few male celebrities walked the carpet before Naya (including Mario and the cutie who won “Top Chef: Just Desserts”). But, let’s be honest, we were not there for the boys so we let them all pass. And then, then came Naya. Now, it’s a little intimidating to have the first interview of the day be The Big One. I’ll admit, I wish Lisa or Tabatha had been first to at least warm up my routine and get the bugs out. But, hey, I’ll take my Naya anytime, anywhere over not taking at all Naya. You know what I mean? Wink-wink, nudge-nudge.

First things first, she shook my hand. Yes, that’s my hand. Yes, I thought temporarily about never washing it again. No, I’m not that crazy and unhygienic. Fine, I am that crazy but I’m not that unhygienic.

Second things not actually secondary, she was very warm and very gracious and very articulate throughout my interview. She also gave terrific eye contact. I got to ask her six questions (again, you can read them on AfterEllen later today), and then asked her to do a video shout-out to all her AE fans. When you see the video you’re going to laugh at its jitteriness because I couldn’t keep my hand from shaking for some unknown reason. Have I mentioned how gracious she was? I feel like I can’t use that word enough. Or the word hot. No, wait, that’s the one I can’t use enough.

And then, after I thanked her and she thanked me (I know, wait, what?), she was gone.

I’m not going to lie, after Naya all the other interviews seemed like a cakewalk. It’s not that they weren’t important, it’s just the nervous butterflies and sweaty anticipation were over. Also, I learned Sara Ramirez wasn’t going to walk the red carpet. News like that will bring down your buzz.

The rest of the night’s interviews went smoothly. Tabatha Coffey from “Tabatha’s Salon Takeover” was delightful. Also, she’s really tall. OK, I’m really short, but still, that one is a tall glass of lovely. And funny, too.

Lisa Cholodenko looked exactly like Lisa Cholodenko with her leather jacket and dark glasses and “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” hair. I asked her about that movie, by the way. And that other movie. And that thing that a lot of you didn’t like about that other movie.

And then Kim Cattrall walked the carpet last. She was there with her co-author and psychologist Michael Bader. You’ve got to hand it to her, brining a shrink to the red carpet isn’t the worst idea I’ve ever heard of. She was professional and took her responses seriously. Though she was seriously not taking it when the interviewer after me addressed her as if she was Samantha. The line between fact and fiction is a serious thing when you travel with a shrink.

And then it was time for dinner (chicken and couscous, if you must know). Naya came out wearing a new white dress and opened the show. Sara came out next and they hugged while passing on stage. I did not get a picture of the hug, to my eternal shame. But here they are together courtesy of GLAAD and Roxx Vodka.

[Image courtesy GLAAD]

You’re welcome, lesbians.

More people got awards, more people presented awards. There was an acrobatic performance by a very muscular man in very tiny underwear from Cirque du Soleil’s “Zumanity.” There were some video montages. There were some touching testimonials. All Things Digital founder Kara Swisher won the local hero award and was particularly impressive with her acceptance speech because she was both a) extremely smart and b) extremely funny.

Then Naya was back, first playing a game with members of the audience called “Glee Gone GLAAD” and then to auction off “sweet lady kisses.” For a second, emptying my 401K seemed like a perfectly rational decision given the circumstances. But, alas, I decided to do the fiscally responsible thing and other people (a guy and a gal – more on that at AE) won. Whatever. I’m not jealous.

And like that, the night was over. Well, not like that. We’d been there for more than six hours. And there was an after party that included booze and music and a few of the night’s celebrities roaming about freely. (No, not Naya, though apparently she did make a split-second appearance before being whisked away.) I tried to get Nelsan Ellis, that’s Lafayette from “True Blood,” to give me scoop about the upcoming season. He wouldn’t, but he was nice about it. And Tabatha continued to be a hoot and a half. Though being around her did make me feel a little self conscious about my hair. (Too many fly aways? Not enough product?) And then, then the night was really over.

Wait, did I mentioned I made Naya laugh during my interview? Yeah. Every once in a while it’s not so horrible being me.

Just a little patience

Kittens, my GLAAD Media Awards post is coming soon, I promise. I’ll have a personal account up here in a bit and an official report on the awards at AfterEllen.com a little later today as well. If you haven’t seen them already, peruse the eye candy I posted during the awards over at Ms. Snarker Regrets. And, until today’s posts go live, please enjoy Naya Rivera laughing at your impatience.

My Weekend Hot 100

I agonized over it. I worried over it. I beat myself up over it. I nearly beat other people up over it. But finally, after painstaking deliberation and not an entirely small amount of alcoholic encouragement, here they are. My AfterEllen.com Hot 100 Top 10. This not being a presidential election cycle, it’s probably the most important vote I’ll cast this year. I kid. Sort of. But, seriously, the AE Hot 100 is always a fun time of year, something done in the spirit of respect and appreciation (and, yes, a healthy dose of flat-out objectification) for these fine women’s work.

Some of my picks are perennial favorites. (Like I was ever going to leave My Fake TV Wife off the list – or Padma.) But this year also has a smattering of new and very worthy faces. I really did agonize. I mean, Angie Harmon isn’t on the list because as much as she is hot like fire, her politics get in the way of my total uninhibited wallowing in The Sexy. Amy Poehler didn’t make the list because it almost felt like cheating on Tina. Hot Cop Heather Peace isn’t on the list because there are only 10 spots and I’m only human, dammit. Achele fans know that I came so close, but I couldn’t totally Gleeify my list.

But enough apologizing. Bring on the hotties. My Top Ten.

1. Tina Fey
2. Naya Rivera
3. Lena Headey
4. Padma Lakshmi
5. Jennifer Beals
6. Sara Ramirez
7. Kate Winslet
8. Tilda Swinton
9. Heather Morris
10. Pippa Middleton

There you have it. There are 10 of the finest, most amazing and, of course, hot women on the planet. So, I’ve shown you mine. Now you show me yours. Happy weekend, all.

Glee like me

You know what I like about those plucky “Glee” kids? They seem to be, by all anecdotal appearances, really good to their fans. Like not just sign-a-few-autographs-while-being-whisked-into-a-nightclub good. But genuinely both interactive and involved good. I think part of it is because they’re young, and their fans are young. And part of it is because they embrace the various technologies and social medias to share themselves with fans – like Twitter and Tumblr. And part of it is because, not too long ago, most of them were just fans too. By and large, it’s a rag-tag group of newcomers who by joining this crazy show about a high school glee club have been catapulted into an insane echelon of fame. I mean, Chris Colfer is just three years out from graduahttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifting from high school in a little town outside of Fresno. FRESNO. So when they interact like fans, and sometimes even act like fans themselves of their show and experience, it feels authentic.

So then this little tidbit from The Hollywood Reporter issue on “Glee” particularly struck a chord:

[Lea Michele] is supposed to be on set with her cast, but insists that the little [10-year-old] girl with two fathers wait for her outside the auditorium. Once there, Michele wraps her delicate arms around the girl and asks her about the experience. “How do you feel in school? What did you tell them?” she asks, visibly touched by her character's impact. “You're cool now; you’re like Rachel Berry,” she says to the nodding fan, adding, “I’m so proud of you.”

What has impressed me most is how they’ve welcomed their fans, many of whom are members of some of the very same outsider groups they portray on screen – gays, minorities, theater geeks, you name it. They also seem to understand the import of portraying those groups on screen. From Colfer to Naya Rivera and Heather Morris, the actors take the responsibility seriously and are in fact honored to do so. Just like Lea, they’ve embraced it with open arms. There can be a lot to complain about on “Glee,” but the cast has never been one. (Fine, they need to give Matthew Morrison more to do than stare creepily at the kids while they sing. But you know what I mean.)

UPDATE: This post got mysteriously swallowed by Blogger during its 20+ hour outage and then regurgitated without your previous comments. So I apologize if they vanished. Sometimes, I guess, the series of tubes just gets cranky.

The Canceled Code

Dear Fox,

You canceled “The Chicago Code.” That means you’ve cancelled Jennifer Beals. That means she will no longer be on our TVs. That means the universe will miss this.

LOOK AT YOUR LIFE, LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES, FOX!

How could you do this to Jennifer? How could you do this to us?

She wore ties.

She wore tank tops.

She showed us her cop arms.

She showed us her shiny, shiny hair.

What more could this woman possibly do for you? What more could she do for us? Sigh.

I believe to deprive the world of Jennifer Beals is a mortal sin. A sin, Fox, a sin.

Sincerely miffed,
Ms. Snarker

p.s. Still not convinced you have made a terrible life choice, Fox? Click that collage to enlarge all the Beals you will make us miss.

Lights, camera, fanvids

One of the most amazing things about this crazy series of tubes we call The Internets is the creativity it can foster. And one of the easiest places to see this creativity in action is still our old friend YouTube. It’s also one of the easiest places to lose four hours of your life getting sucked into a fanvid black hole. But, oh. what a wondrous black hold that is. What has impressed me more and more recently is the quality of the fanvids. Seriously, you guys are getting damn good. Certainly, there’s a lot of just OK and possibly not so great to slog through too when searching for the really great stuff. But the great stuff is freaking great. Sophisticated color filters and cross cuts and dialogue overlays. Take it from a person who just now figured out how to make simple video clips, never mind any of the advanced-level fancy stuff. That takes skills. It’s like watching a whole future generation of cinematographers and film editors and director grow up before your eyes. And, most impressive of all, these hours and hours (if not days and days) of work is done not for the money or the glory – because heavens knows neither is readily attainable on the internet – but for the sheer love of the characters. Fanvids (and its close cousins fanart and fanfic) are fan love in its purest form. Fine, they’re also mildly obsessive. But, Jesus, isn’t all love?

A few recent favorites from a few of my favorite ships.

Brittana/Faberry, “Glee”

See, Brittana and Faberry fans can get along. In fact, we can help each other.

Rizzles, “Rizzoli & Isles”

Rizzoli & Isles as Cagney & Lacey. Just try not to smile.

Emily/Paige, “Pretty Little Liars”

Gwyneth Paltrow isn’t the only member of her household who mixes well with lesbian drama.

Naomily, “Skins”

Another slice of loveliness by the prodigiously talented Rin of Rophy Does.

Willow/Tara, “Buffy”

You never forget your first real ship.

Calzona, “Grey’s Anatomy”

Don’t even pretend there’s something in your eye except big, fat tears.

So, hit me with your fanvid favorites. Let’s see those budding lesbian Spielbergs so someday we can say, I remember when she was just making Brittana fanvids to post on YouTube.

Naked Lady Monday: Black & White Edition

Admit it, things seem classier in black and white. So what might look like just a naked lady in color will look like an artistic naked lady in black and white. Such is the power of the monochrome. So then we feel a little better about ogling because, you know, the art and culture and stuff. Just look at Kristin Scott Thomas pulling her best Joan of Arc. That’s not just classy nakedness, it’s historical. Black and white can turn “nekkid” back to “naked.” Wait, is that a good thing? Regardless, a little black and white is exactly what is in order this Monday, to help turn make might otherwise be NSFW into a refined collection of semi-nude portraiture. Or, at least, that’s what you can tell your boss.

Deborah Ann WollI just finished watching season 3 of “True Blood” and Jessica was criminally, criminally underused. Criminally so.

Amber HeardHot. Gay. Hot some more.

Charlotte GainsbourgNo one wears scarves better than French women.

Penelope CruzThe curve of a woman’s back is one of the ways we know we live in a benevolent universe.

Olivia WildeThe round of a woman’s bum is another.

Charlotte RamplingLet’s make it a rule that all women named “Charlotte” need to get naked today.

Rosario DawsonRosario isn’t nude. But she’s not wearing pants either. Totally counts.

Heather MorrisYeah, so no wonder Santana is doing everything she can do to win Brittany back.

EDIT: Whoops, that should be Naked Lady Monday not Naked Lady Woman. Though there ain’t nothing wrong with a naked lady woman. Nothing at all.

My Weekend Crush

There’s so much to like about “Firefly,” and as a new (yet, shamefully, belated) convert I revel in them with each episode. The chemistry, the heroism, the Jossisms. Each character is his or her own, built on an archetype yet completely their own person. Among the most interesting is Inara, the companion. Leave it to Joss Whedon to make a member of the world’s oldest profession the most serene and regal of the lot. But serene and regal she is, thanks to the subtle work of Morena Baccarin. In Inara we see a glimpse of the genteel side of this wild new verse. With her flowing dresses and even more flowing locks, she represents the romance that is sometimes lost amid the dark, endless edges of space. It’s impressive how well Morena transformed herself from role to role. Her Inara is perhaps the polar opposite of Anna from “V.” One is warm and compassionate, the other cold and, well, an alien queen bent on destroying Earth. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Inara takes both male and female clients. And, as she tells one of her female clients, while she has mostly male clients, “if I choose a woman, she tends to be extraordinary in some way. And the fact is, I occasionally have the exact same need you do. One cannot always be oneself in the company of men.” Damn, this show is good. If you need me, I’ll be in my bunk. Happy weekend, all.

Gentlemen (and Ladies) Prefer Bookworms

John Waters famously said: “We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books, don’t fuck them.” I could not agree more. Books are sexy motherfuckers. Their straight spines, their crisp pages, their tight bindings. All those bold black letters etched across soft ivory expanses. See, sexy motherfuckers. Like everyone else, I read a lot of my copy from backlit screens these days. But there’s still nothing quite like picking up a real book. The smell of it. The weight of it. Holding something in your hands gives it import. It makes it feel more real. We are a tactile people, after all.

So then, by extension, people who love or at the very least own books are also sexy motherfuckers. Back in the days when I used to watch MTV Cribs (what, don’t judge – I was young and probably drunk), I was always struck by how few of these stars had books. There were 60-inch plasma TVs, but no bookcases. There were double-wide subzero freezers, but no bookcases. There were walls and walls of DVDs and CDs, but no bookcases. People, homes need bookcases. Even if it is just some planks and cinder blocks, it’s a place to put your books.

I’ve long-since run out of bookshelf space for my books. They’re stacked double-deep on most shelves. Granted, these days I too often shamefully fall into the “buy books and let them sit on my nightstand for way too long” category of reader. I sometimes dream of taking a week-long vacation just to read books on my couch. It’s be like back in my grade school days when I spent my entire summer vacation either reading on the porch or going to the library for more books. Oh, those halcyon days of leisurely bookwormhood.

So today, we’re going to celebrate women with really great racks – of books. (Sorry, I had to.) Let’s hear it for the lovely lady libraries. These women, and their bountiful bookcases, more than pass the Waters Test. What can I say, sometimes you need to indulge in a little bit of uninhibited book porn.

Rachel MaddowBooks and a puppy and a cocktail. That’s just straight-up porn for lesbians.

Nigella LawsonMy, Nigella, what big books you have.

Olivia WildeContemporary design and plentiful bookcases. It’s so sexy it’s almost NSFW.

Rachel WeiszI can’t be the only one who wishes she was wearing glasses and her hair up so she could do the sexy librarian head shake for us.

Rita HayworthReading about Abraham Lincoln is totally hot.

Audrey TautouThis isn’t technically her library, but I can’t resist the lovely lines.

MadonnaI don’t think this is Madonna’s library either. But who knows. She can definitely afford to have a room in her house just dedicated to ancient parchments.

Diane KeatonFine, so she isn’t in it right now, but don’t you wish you were?

Ava Gardner Olivia de HavillandAdmit it, old-school Hollywood stars had better lounging-around-to-read clothes.

Marilyn MonroeDid you know she was an avid reader? She had a personal library of over 400 books. Bombshell and bookworm. Be still my heart.

EDIT: Damn, I mixed up my Olivia and Ava reading pictures. Apologies. We will see the lovely Ava another time, I promise.