Gender Fuck Thursday: Met with Suits

First things first, the Met Gala is ridiculous. It is the most bready of circuses, feeding us with literally nothing but sparkly celebrity sparkling. But, I can also not resist attractive women in suits. And this year’s theme of dandyism and Black tailoring which brought out SO MANY SUITS. Granted, some outfits were suit adjacent. And there were so many jackets over gowns. Or, um, hotpants. But, still, I love a strong shoulder in a smart lapel. I can’t help it! If we’re gonna eat the rich, they might as well look delicious beforehand. Just saying. Anyway, here are some of the tastiest looks of the gala. Like, Zendaya in that white three-piece? Hot damn. And I do not mean that respectfully. (Sorry, Tom Holland.) Oh and also – yeah, tax the rich.

Janelle Monae

This. Is. Art. Periodt.

Tessa Thompson

This is also art, but possibly by Dr. Seuss.

Doechii

I’ve never been into the little pageboy look, until now.

Whoopi Goldberg

This is perhaps my favorite of her red carpet looks. Maybe even more than her Oscar-winning dress in 1991.

Lupita Nyong'o

Seafoam Mary Poppins is working for me.

Lauryn Hill

This is what people mean when they say “like butter.”

Jonquel Jones

The WNBA finals MVP defied gravity indeed.

Breanna Stewart

Now that’s a good teammate, dressing exactly to theme.

Madonna

Channeling Dietrich is never wrong.

Chappell Roan

Neither is channelling Bowie.

Anna Sawai

I mean, if you’re going to wear the same thing as someone, might as well be Zendaya. Amirite?

Angela Bassett

Just give the Queen her Oscar already.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Adventures in Dandy Land

I typically don’t pay too much attention to the Met Gala because the Let Them Eat Cake of it all is strong with that one. Also, people pretty much always ignore the actual theme. Like what the hell does dressing like Oliver Twist after he won the lotto have to do with the Garden of Time, Barry? But this year, this year I very much hope every wannabe Kardashian takes note of the GQ photoshoot based on this year’s theme, “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style.” Truly, every image in this “Dandy Land” collection by acclaimed stylist Law Roach is a jaw dropper. If everyone shows up like this, well, I will have enough Gender Fuck Thursday content for the next year…if not decade. So all I have to say is, please assembled famous and rich people of the universe – try to be a little less Marie Antoinette and a lot more like actors-singers-hot ass suit wearers Janelle Monáe, Teyana Taylor and Ryan Destiny. You have your orders, now follow them. Otherwise, we might have to do something crazy like tax you.

p.s. I won’t demand you also have Teyana’s abs. But, um, it’d help.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Red Carpet Edition

Well, here’s a good trend for a change. You know, not like the precipitous decline of our democracy and dismantling of our public services. But, uh, a positive fashion trend counteracts all that, right? Right?!? Anyway, at least we have women in suits. I’ve noticed more female stars opting for suits on the red carpet recently and obviously I am not mad about that. Oversized suits seem to be the specific trend, but I don’t size discriminate. So, please enjoy this stylish selection. Does it make up for the undeniable creep of fascism? Yeah, no. But I’ll take what I can get to spark some joy these days. Keep suiting up, ladies. A grateful nation needs you (well, 75 million of us need you). Nicole Kidman

All these sexy straight roles for Nicole, I say it’s time to mix things up – sapphically speaking. This suit agrees with my casting requests, clearly.

Carrie Coon

Mike White should really fuck us all up and have Carrie’s character and Parker Posey’s character have a wild lesbian affair together on “White Lotus” this season. This tux says it would work.

Halsey

Sure, she looks like she’s running for county comptroller. But you know you’d vote for her based on that suit alone.

Olivia Wilde

Whereas Olivia looks like she’s everyone’s favorite poetry professor at a small liberal arts college.

Cynthia Erivo

I think this is her only suit during this whole Wicked premiere/award season tour. Which, as we can see here, is a shame for us.

Cate Blanchett

Ties are, obviously, optional.

Lisa

Bow ties are also optional (hear that, Brandi?).

Janelle Monae

Shirts are also, obviously, optional.

Keke Palmer

Pants, too!

Kate Winslet

Giving us a choice between black and white suits, really Winslet – you are too kind and I totally understand why you needed all that space on the door.

The Gay Grammys, Again

Well, in case you missed last Sunday’s Grammy awards show, I can summarize it for you simply. The gals and the gays, particularly the gay gals, stole the show – again. I don’t know what it means to have two good Grammy shows in consecutive years (I mean, who would be surprised by an apocalypse at this point, honestly?) Last year we had Tracy Chapman and Brandi Carlile and boygenius (and Joni Mitchell, for the straights). This year we have Chappell Roan and Billie Eilish and Cynthia Erivo and Janelle Monae and Lady Gaga and Doechii and St. Vincent and Brittany Howard and Queen Latifah – am I missing any queer ladies, ladies? (Don’t worry, the straights had Sabrina Carpenter and Charli XCX and Raye and Shakira, if you’re into that sort of thing.)

And it was the women – gay and straight – who not only stole the show with their performances, but also with their show of solidarity against all the horrors of our current political/societal hellscape. Like Chappell speaking out to shame record companies into paying its developing artists a liveable wage and health insurance. Or Doechii speaking out to support Black women and dark-skinned Black women in particular. Or Shakira speaking out to send her solidarity to all the immigrants. Or Lady Gaga speaking out to say trans and queer people deserve love and support. Or Alicia Keyes speaking out to praise the power and beauty of diversity and inclusion.

Also special props to Janelle for speaking out to drag Nelly for performing at that Orange Turd’s inauguration at the Grammys afterparties. Ladies and gentlemen and every other gender identity which absolutely exists, this is exactly the energy we expect from our most celebrated artists right now.

Janelle Monae calls out Nelly during the GRAMMYs after-party for performing at Trump’s inauguration:

“F**k you Nelly, you sold out. I used to think you were cool, but now you look like a motherf**king fool.” pic.twitter.com/GQxnGVy7n9

— Pop Base (@PopBase) February 3, 2025

It’s a refreshing change from the Golden Globes, which was relatively free of high-profile political statements. Granted, that was 15 days before the horrors of Orange Turd’s 2.0 administration began. But, shit, if we didn’t all know this was coming – at least if we were paying attention.

Anyway, I wish I could share some of these performances but in one of those truly genius corporate titan moves, you can only find the concert videos on the Grammys websites and not even all of them either. Now if the Grammys would just stop having Trevor Noah host, because I find the way he roams through the audience making celebrity smalltalk extremely cringe – as the young folks say. Also treating the return of The Weeknd to the Grammys like the second-coming of Martin Luther King Jr? Even more cringe. See, this is why you leave hosting, and everything else, to the gays gals from now on, Grammys.

Queen’s Got Back

The moment last night at the WeHo Pride OUTLOUD Music Festival during Janelle Monáe’s set when Queen Latifah and Gabrielle Union danced with her onstage. pic.twitter.com/hd5WiGBI6q

— Ed Wang (@edataoldotcom) June 2, 2024

Happy Hump Day! Of course, Hump Days hits different during Pride. Like, Queen Latifah backing that thing up to Janelle Monae while Gabrielle Union watches live on stage different. Honestly, you just love to see it. Periodt.

Mental Health Minx: Janelle Monae

Has anyone had a better summer than Janelle? Honestly, good for her.

Vacation Vixen: Janelle Monae

Please, like I was going to start my summer vacation and not post the No. 1 Hot Them Summer ambassador.

Music Monday: Free The Boobie Edition

Is anyone having a better summer than Janelle Monae? Like, I aspire to be as boobie loose and fancy free as Janelle is these days. She’s having the kind of Hot Nipple Summer we all can all only dream of experiencing. And you know what, good for her. Enjoying your damn life is the best revenge. Happy Monday, kittens.

Naked Person Thursday

pic.twitter.com/XoCyWQyP82

— Janelle Monáe👽🚆🤖🚀🪐 (@JanelleMonae) June 11, 2023

Look, my Pride starts tomorrow and this is exactly where my brain is at this moment. So, you know, enjoy. Thanks, Janelle, for the continued queer joy. And, you know, boobies.

Happy (Two) Hump(s) Day

Look, I’m just a simple queer lady blogger. And when a nice pair of boobs floats my way, well, I’m not mad about it. Especially if they’re as an empowered and impressive and impeccable a set as Janelle Monae has. Indeed, the superstar has entered their Naked Era, and I’m extremely not mad about it. Yes, I know I already wrote about their super gay new music video. But, uh, then they posed for the cover of Rolling Stone. Again, I’m just a simple country blogger. So I am powerless to resist such magnificence.

Music Monday: Lipstick Lover Edition

So you won’t be able to watch the new Janelle Monae video here. It’s too spicy for the embed to work. So instead I’ll give you a few minutes to click the watch on Youtube link below, watch the video, drool uncontrollably, and come right back.…. Right, so you good? Oops, still got a little drool left there in the corner. And your jaw, have you regained control of it or is it still on the floor? Still on the floor. Well, understandable.

If you haven’t watched Janelle’s “Lipstick Lover” yet, OMG, what are you doing? If you haven’t watched it several times in a row I admire your willpower and self-denial. Wait, scratch that. Don’t deny yourself the joy and absolute PLEASURE of watching Janelle, well, pleasure themselves in all manner of ways.

I consider this video the official start of Hot Them Summer. The nonbinary superstar brings us the first single from their new album “The Age of Pleasure,” which will be their first new record in five years. And, based on this video, we’re in for what can only accurately be described as a good time. A very very, sexy sexy, hot hot, indistinguishable gurgling sounds indistinguishable gurgling sounds good time. How good you ask?

Let us count the ways:

Well, so many hands good.

Legs for days good.

Booty as a bookstand good.

Booty as a chinrest good.

Booty, in general, good.

Boobs, in particular, good.

And good old-fashioned rain of vibrators good.

Like I was saying. Hope this gets your week off to a good start. Or at least gets something off. Ahem. Happy Monday, kittens.

p.s. Someone should track down Lover Cindi to get her shot-by-shot reaction to the video. I mean, it only seems right, after all, as one of the O.G. Lipstick Lovers.

Look Up, On the Table

Florence Pugh watching Janelle Monáe perform at the Met Gala after-party pic.twitter.com/ZxBrrbiyMc

— Florence Pugh Photos (@pughphotos) May 2, 2023

Sorry, it’s been a hectic week and the day got away from me. As an apology here’s Florence Pugh with a freshly shaved head watching Janelle Monae in a bedazzled bikini sing and dance on a tabletop. Am I forgiven?

Everything Oscars All At Once

I’ll admit, somewhere toward the middle of the more than three-and-a-half affair when the German War Movie was picking up technical award after technical award, I started to worry. But Everything Everywhere was All At Once Oscars. Asian Excellence for the win! And the show went off without a single case of on-stage millionaire-on-millionaire violence. So, uh, progress?

While I thought the telecast was overall a tad dull and none of the bits landed with much more than a sensible chuckle (well, other than when Hugh Grant — who had previously given one of the most intentionally caddish red carpet interviews I’ve ever seen— rightfully compared his face to a scrotum), I was generally pretty pleased with the winners. Michelle Yeoh! Ke Huy Quan! The Daniels! Yes, I was rooting for Angela Bassett to do the thing (or perhaps for Stephanie Hsu to pull off the dark bagel upset). Yes, I’m happy for Brendan Fraser even though “The Whale” ain’t it. And what did I tell you about Sarah Polley? (She also happened to be one of the only notable female stars at the Oscars in a tuxedo, so a grateful Lesbian Nation thanks her for her service.)

Other than that, the blah beige “champagne” carpet set the style tone. Given that I watch this show every year in sweatpants and a hoodie, I really don’t have anything substantive to say other than these folks sure are nice to look at. So here are the rest of my extremely queer observations from Hollywood’s biggest night. The Good, the Gay and the SGALGG from this year’s Academy Awards.

Angela Bassett & Michelle Yeoh

This is the moment that made the AP go Horny on Main.

And, honestly, can you blame them? Because *low whistle*

Cate Blanchett

Cate recycling her luxury hotel curtains to make an elegant drapey top for the Oscars feels like the ultimate admission that she was rooting for Michelle this whole time too.

Stephanie Hsu & Everyone Everywhere All At Once

getting hit on by Florence Pugh

getting armtime with Angela

making the edibles kick in with David Byrne

and finally getting a (loving) talking to from Mother Evelyn

Florence Pugh & Her Bed Sheets

I like Flo a lot. And I too would prefer to show up at formal events in my fitted sheet and shorts with pockets.

You also have to give her bonus points for changing into her duvet for the after party. Extra double bonus points for hitting on Daughter/Stephanie and Mother/Michelle in the same night, too.

Sarah Polley

Honestly, I would wear exactly the same thing if I ever went to the Oscars. So the Relatability Queen wins again.

Jessica Chastain

The only celebrity to wear a mask all evening.

Also, she got to hold hands with Halle Berry and hug Michelle Yeoh so who is the real winner here?

The Female Torso

If the blah carpet’s signature color was bridal white, the Vanity Fair afterparty’s theme was Gray’s Anatomy. Cause you got an anatomy lesson from all the exposed rib cages, upper abs, lower abs and bra-like offerings on display at the after parties.

And now, onto the GGALGG:

Ariane DeBose & someone’s upset husband

Janelle Monae & someone who isn’t Tessa Thompson

Tessa Thompson & Flo & the Duvet Cover

Cara Delevingne & Jamie Lee Curtis

Rebel Wilson & fiancée Ramona Agruma

Sarah Paulson & Queen Latifah

Don’t worry, Dana actually brought Eboni Nichols as her date.

Olivia Wilde, Sarah, Tracee Ellis Ross, Holland Taylor, The Queen

I don’t even know how to describe this other than some kind of Lesbian Moonie Wedding Ceremony.

Sharon Stone, Sarah, Holland, Sienna Miller & Patricia Clarkson

And then this is, obviously, the reception where they’re recruiting for more Queer Sister Wives, duh.

Still, I think the best moment from the whole night was Halle Berry, the first woman of color to ever win a Best Actress Oscar, handing the first Asian woman and second woman of color ever to win her Oscar. That and Michelle, Halle and Jessica walking off like this. Women. I sure do like us.