Gender Fuck Thursday: Stephanie Hsu

Since we’re talking about Broadway babes this week, let’s not forget our new Janet. As in “Dammit, Janet, we love you!” Not only is out queer actress Stephanie Hsu the new Janet in Broadway’s “Rocky Horror Picture Show,” she is half way to her nominations EGOT. She got an Oscar nom for “Everything Everywhere All at Once,” and now a Tony nom for “Rocky.” She just needs to record an album and then get herself some AppleTV+ series for that Emmy nom. Piece of cake. Oh, and thanks for the suit – and the ladyspreading. Ahem.

Vacation Vixen: Stephanie Hsu

I saw “Joy Ride” before I left on vacation and when you combine Stephanie’s performances in it and her Oscar-nominated work in “EEAAO,” well, that is an actress who can make you laugh and cry and laugh again. And looks great in a suit. Give her her own movie, now!

Joy to the World

Damn, every trailer that gets released of “Joy Ride” makes me want to watch “Joy Ride” even more, which, well done marketing team I guess. But really, well done Adele Lim. The screenwriter behind “Crazy Rich Asians” and “Raya and the Last Dragon” makes her directorial debut with the ensemble girls trip comedy. While comparisons abound, it’s already abundantly clear the film is more than just “The Hangover” but make it Asian chicks. Instead of using a literal hangover as its narrative force to tell the story of dudes gone wild, “Joy Ride” follows an Asian-American woman’s search for her cultural roots, while also drinking too much and hiding drugs in bodily orifices. Now that’s what I call a win-win-win. Joy to the world and all that.

Gaysian Excellence

So it has become, entirely unplanned, a bit of an Asian Excellence week here at Surrenders. First I rant about Kristen Kish’s new Disney+/NatGeo show being ignored by the marketing department, and now I’m all about the female Asian The Hangover, but with a more meaningful cultural foundation than a bunch of drunk white dudes at a bachelor party. It also stars freshly anointed Oscar nominee Stephanie Hsu, who did you know since EEAAO she has finished three other movies AND a TV series? Our gal be bizzzzy, and I’m here for it. Anway, back to the movie at hand. I’ve watched both the red band and green band trailers multiple times now and I’ve laughed ever.single.time. So, yeah, imma see this. And while it may appear most of the characters are aggressively straight (not that there’s anything wrong with that), the actor playing Cousin Deadeye is nonbinary comic Sabrina Wu. Also, Stephanie is maybepossiblyprobably queer of some sorts too, though honestly I can’t find any official coming out. But the literal OSCARS added her to the list “Pride Guide: 15 LGBTQ+ Filmmakers and Actors on The Rise” last summer. So, as I was saying, it’s Gaysian Excellence week. Respect.

Everything Oscars All At Once

I’ll admit, somewhere toward the middle of the more than three-and-a-half affair when the German War Movie was picking up technical award after technical award, I started to worry. But Everything Everywhere was All At Once Oscars. Asian Excellence for the win! And the show went off without a single case of on-stage millionaire-on-millionaire violence. So, uh, progress?

While I thought the telecast was overall a tad dull and none of the bits landed with much more than a sensible chuckle (well, other than when Hugh Grant — who had previously given one of the most intentionally caddish red carpet interviews I’ve ever seen— rightfully compared his face to a scrotum), I was generally pretty pleased with the winners. Michelle Yeoh! Ke Huy Quan! The Daniels! Yes, I was rooting for Angela Bassett to do the thing (or perhaps for Stephanie Hsu to pull off the dark bagel upset). Yes, I’m happy for Brendan Fraser even though “The Whale” ain’t it. And what did I tell you about Sarah Polley? (She also happened to be one of the only notable female stars at the Oscars in a tuxedo, so a grateful Lesbian Nation thanks her for her service.)

Other than that, the blah beige “champagne” carpet set the style tone. Given that I watch this show every year in sweatpants and a hoodie, I really don’t have anything substantive to say other than these folks sure are nice to look at. So here are the rest of my extremely queer observations from Hollywood’s biggest night. The Good, the Gay and the SGALGG from this year’s Academy Awards.

Angela Bassett & Michelle Yeoh

This is the moment that made the AP go Horny on Main.

And, honestly, can you blame them? Because *low whistle*

Cate Blanchett

Cate recycling her luxury hotel curtains to make an elegant drapey top for the Oscars feels like the ultimate admission that she was rooting for Michelle this whole time too.

Stephanie Hsu & Everyone Everywhere All At Once

getting hit on by Florence Pugh

getting armtime with Angela

making the edibles kick in with David Byrne

and finally getting a (loving) talking to from Mother Evelyn

Florence Pugh & Her Bed Sheets

I like Flo a lot. And I too would prefer to show up at formal events in my fitted sheet and shorts with pockets.

You also have to give her bonus points for changing into her duvet for the after party. Extra double bonus points for hitting on Daughter/Stephanie and Mother/Michelle in the same night, too.

Sarah Polley

Honestly, I would wear exactly the same thing if I ever went to the Oscars. So the Relatability Queen wins again.

Jessica Chastain

The only celebrity to wear a mask all evening.

Also, she got to hold hands with Halle Berry and hug Michelle Yeoh so who is the real winner here?

The Female Torso

If the blah carpet’s signature color was bridal white, the Vanity Fair afterparty’s theme was Gray’s Anatomy. Cause you got an anatomy lesson from all the exposed rib cages, upper abs, lower abs and bra-like offerings on display at the after parties.

And now, onto the GGALGG:

Ariane DeBose & someone’s upset husband

Janelle Monae & someone who isn’t Tessa Thompson

Tessa Thompson & Flo & the Duvet Cover

Cara Delevingne & Jamie Lee Curtis

Rebel Wilson & fiancée Ramona Agruma

Sarah Paulson & Queen Latifah

Don’t worry, Dana actually brought Eboni Nichols as her date.

Olivia Wilde, Sarah, Tracee Ellis Ross, Holland Taylor, The Queen

I don’t even know how to describe this other than some kind of Lesbian Moonie Wedding Ceremony.

Sharon Stone, Sarah, Holland, Sienna Miller & Patricia Clarkson

And then this is, obviously, the reception where they’re recruiting for more Queer Sister Wives, duh.

Still, I think the best moment from the whole night was Halle Berry, the first woman of color to ever win a Best Actress Oscar, handing the first Asian woman and second woman of color ever to win her Oscar. That and Michelle, Halle and Jessica walking off like this. Women. I sure do like us.

Everything Everywhere All At Oscar

Now that we’ve had a week to digest the Oscars news, I have been on a mission to watch all of the best picture nominees this year. I’m pretty sure I haven’t watched every single best picture nominee since they switched to having 10 films in the category over a decade ago. But this year is doable because I’ve already seen 9 out of the 10 — though the 2+-hour German war movie I have left to watch might be a slog. Speaking of which, *long whistle*, this year’s nominated movies are LONG. Like very, very long like 8 out of 10 are 2+ hours. Like if you watched them all back-to-back-to-back it would take 23 hours and 50 minutes. The average run time is 2 hours and 23 minutes. “Avatar: Way of Water” is of course the longest at 3 hours and 12 minutes. But, like, did “Top Gun: Maverick” need to be 2 hours and 11 minutes long? Yeahhhh. And we definitely did not need the 2 hour and 39 minute runtime for that assault on the senses that was the “Elvis” whatever that was. But, of course, the shortest nominated film this year? Yeah, it’s “Women Talking.” You see, this is Hollywood after all. (It clocked in at a very respectable 1 hour and 44 minutes).

This year had its share of surprises and snubs (like, hello, “Blonde,” what?) But I am going to savor all of the love for “Everything Everywhere All At Once.” Hands down this movie with its dildo swordfights, kinetic game of buttplug keepaway, emotionally complex rocks and hot dog fingers was my favorite movie of the year, if not of the last several years. EEAAO made me laugh and cry and just feel more than almost anything I’ve watched in a while. So I am beyond thrilled for all of its 11 nominations and that its entire principal cast got rightfully recognized (especially the sublime Stephnie Hsu, who has wrongly been left off of some other awards nominations this year but was thankfully not forgotten because Jobu Tupaki will not be denied).

And can we talk for a second about all this Asian Excellence? Like, be still my little gaysian heart. Four Asian acting nominees. FOUR. Michelle Yeoh. Stephanie Hsu. Ke Huy Quan, who happens to be one of the very first Asian faces I ever saw in mainstream entertainment. Hong Chau for “The Whale.”(In case you are curious, the previous record was in 2020 when “Minari” got two acting nods and Riz Ahmed was also nominated for “The Sound of Metal.”) Michelle Yeoh being the first woman who identifies as Asian to be nominated for Best Actress. (Merle Oberon was nominated in 1935, but she hid her background and passed as white.) And, again, can we talk about Stephanie Hsu? Like, I still vividly remember her Secret Deodorant commercial from just a few years ago. And now, a much deserved Oscar nomination.

Anyway, besides being forever salty about Ana De Armas and/or Andrea Riseborough (!?!) getting Viola Davis’s nomination, I’m going to watch and root root root for the movie about healing the pain of generational trauma and finding happiness through loving one’s lesbian daughter to take home all the awards. And, as much as I love Cate Blanchett, give that naked golden man to Michelle this year please. Lydia Tar already has an EGOT anyway, amirite?

My Weekend Crush

Have you ever finished a movie and then wanted to watch that exact same movie all over again immediately, if not sooner. The indescribably bananas, irrefutably amazing film “Everything Everywhere All At Once” is that movie. I knew it would be a wild ride going in, yet still wasn’t prepared for how wild, how inventive, how exhilarating and how shockingly moving it would be.

Like, I was not expecting a movie that prominently featured dildos and butt plugs in key action sequences to also bring me to tears in a quiet scene without any spoken dialogue? But, this is that movie.

A showcase for unparalleled Asian talent, EEAAO is about the immigrant experience, intergenerational trauma, everyday life’s mundanity, everyday life’s extraordinariness and, ultimately, true familial love. Also, did I mention it’s gay? Like really, really queer? And hot dog fingers are used in lesbian seducation. No explanations, the less you know truly the better.

What EEAAO also does is give Michelle Yeoh a chance to reaffirm her place as a legend of modern cinema. We all knew, for decades, that Michelle could kick ass. And we knew, for decades, that she could plum emotional depth. But EEAAO is perhaps the first film to bring them together in such spectacular and invigorating fashion. She’s very, very, very, veryveryveryveryvery good.

Indeed the whole cast is veryveryveryveryvery good. Like, how can Michelle and Ke Huy Quan (of 80s child actor fame as Short Round/Data in “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom”/”The Goonies” who went on to be a top-light stunt coordinator) and James Hong (pioneering Asian-American actor who at age 93 has been in too many iconic movie roles to count) and Stephanie Hsu (who you probably recognize from “Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens” and “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”) and Harry Shum Jr. (you know, from “Glee”) and Jenny Slate (you know, the Marcel the Shell with Shoes on comic) and Jamie Lee Curtis (no introduction needed) all be in the same movie? Some kind of multi-verse miracle, no doubt.

Honestly, as I said, the less you know the better. But I promise that the multiverse adventures of an exhausted laundromat owner facing an IRS audit while trying to plan a birthday party for her estranged father visiting from China while dealing with her estranged lesbian daughter (and her alternative lifestyle haircuted girlfriend) at the same time is so worth your time. So, so, sososososo worth it.

Right, so who wants to join me for another (or your first or your infinite, it’s a multiverse afterall) watch of “Everything Everywhere All At Once”? Happy weekend, all.

p.s. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS: You have to love a movie whose central theme essentially boils down to this — love your lesbian daughter. Yeah, definitely watching this movie again. And again, and again, and againagainagainagainagain.