The Like Is Out There

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Even if I end up not loving “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma” (and I highly, highly doubt it), I will always love how horny Gillian Anderson and Hannan Einbinder have been for each other during the press tour. Like, just out there, putting panties around our necks, calling out Jean Smart and now thirstily liking vintage pictures of the other. I mean, I get it. I liked that picture, too. Never change, ladies, never change. Happy Hump Day, indeed.

p.s. Can we talk about the way Gillian looks like the perfect 50s housewife clinging to her secret gay younger lover? Yes, I broke out the “L” word and not about Lover Cindi.

My Weekend Crush

Finally, a movie that teases possible sapphic content that I’m fairly confident won’t disappoint me with just a bunch of queerbaiting. Thanks for kinda nothing, “Mother Mary,” Verity,” “Her Private Hell” et al. But “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma,” from everything I’ve read since its premiere at Cannes, is the real deal. And the final trailer and poster seem to emphasize that point. Also, and this is not a spoiler, just a wild guess and hopeful projection, don’t Gillian and Hannah look like the ultimate sapphic Final Girls in that poster? Make it so, Jane Schoenbrun! I loved their “I Saw the TV Glow” with such an unexpected passion, I can’t help but have the highest of hopes for Miasma. And, as all you kittens already know, I don’t even like horror movies. But between this cast who I feel equally confident in saying have both kissed women in real life and storyteller’s singularly universal use of trans allegories, yeah, bring on all the Little Deaths, whichever kind they may be. Ahem. Happy weekend, all.

Eat Your Heart Out, Everyone Else

@gilliana Jean Smart, eat your heart out 👄❤️🔪 @MUBI ♬ original sound - Gillian Anderson

Well, now. I truly appreciate Gillian Anderson’s commitment to her campaign to start major beef with Jean Smart over the affection of Hannah Einbinder. So far Jean has largely tried to stay above the fray, confident in her place as Hannah’s O.G. Alpha May-December Suitor. But after those glowing reviews of “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma” from its Cannes premiere last week, I’m more invested in the Jean Smart-Gillian Anderson throwdown than ever. Also, Hannah’s wide-eyed reaction and insistence that they’re “open.” Talk about giving the sapphics what they want.

p.s. This is exactly how I’d look at Gillian if she put her hand around my waist like that. Exactly.

p.p.s. I know, I know, I’m super behind on all the gay shit on “Hacks.” But this is Gillian’s moment anyway.

The Truth Is Fire

“Station Eleven” hive, rise up! This is our moment! This is our time! Now, please just make the new “Scully” queer! Look, as long as cool shit is happening for the new “X-Files” reboot coming to Hulu from “Sinners” and “Black Panther” mastermind Ryan Coogler we might as well dream even bigger. But if you were among the dedicated few with excellent taste who loved the artful apocalypse series “Station Eleven,” you will be beyond thrilled at news that two of its stars, Himesh Patel and Danielle Deadwyler, will be the leads of the new sci-fi series. They’ll be playing “new original characters in the series.” So, yeah, technically no queer Scully. But that doesn’t mean Danielle’s character can’t still be wlw. I am just saying, the truth is out there. Also if they bring Gillian Anderson back as Scully us gays will still consider it a win. I mean she already called the scrtipt "fucking cool," so LFG. We saw her in “The Fall,” we know what’s possible. Believe.

Jean v. Gillian

As if we needed more reason to be excited about “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma!,” but it has ignited a probably parasocial, definitely enjoyable heated rivalry between Gillian Anderson and Jean Smart for Hannah Einbinder’s affections. Like, when Hannah posted a picture of Jean in a jaunty beret with a sexy martini, Gillian had to respond with her own French twist - yes, towel beret and grape olive and all. Seriously, please, more of this. We need it. The world needs this. I did not have Gillian Anderson and Jean Smart battle to be drawn like one of Hannah Einbinder’s French girls on my 2026 bingo card, but I will most definitely take it. Gillian, Gillian, I was unfamiliar with your towel game.

Camp Time

Do I know what’s happening? No? Do I care that I don’t know what’s happening? Also no. I do know that Gillian Anderson and Hannah Einbinder are gonna get weird together in “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma!.” And that’s good enough for me.

Actually, that’s a lie. I also know that the movie’s queer, trans, nonbinary creator Jane Schoenbrun also directed my favorite film from 2024, “I Saw the TV Glow.” Also, I know it stars Eva Victor (who I love, love, loved in last year’s quiet “Sorry, Baby”) in a mohawk and leather.

I also assume that Gillian is playing the original final girl turned reclusive actress behind the hit “Camp Miasma” slasher franchise which now years later is being resurrected by an “enthusiastic young director” played by Hannah. I’m assuming the weird shit we can’t yet explain from the trailer is the “blood-soaked world of desire, fear, and delirium” they find themselves falling into.

So, to recap: Gillian. Hannah. Eva. A kickass director. DELRIUM.

Heck, I don’t even care that it’s about slasher horror films, which has historically been one of my least favorite film genres. Let’s get weird.

This One Time at Lesbian Camp

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! Gillian Anderson and Hannah Einbinder in the same frame for “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma!!!” As I was saying, ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Also, there’s a teaser of some sort, and some creepy posts on the movie’s new social feeds. But I would expect nothing less from the queer, trans, nonbinary creator behind “I Saw the TV Glow.” I simply cannot wait for Jane Schoenbrun’s slasher, and I kind of hate slasher movies. But with Gillian and Hannah? Bring on the “Little Death,” ahem.

Also, this film description which says it will also continue Jane’s “body of work shaped by themes of trans identity and queer horror?” Slash me, baby, one more time.

“After years of slapdash sequels and waning fandom, the Camp Miasma slasher franchise is handed over to an enthusiastic young director for resurrection. But when she visits the original movie’s star, a now-reclusive actress shrouded in mystery, the two women fall into a blood-soaked world of desire, fear, and delirium.”

Also, no, I have no idea what’s happening here either. But it’s creepy! And, I’m assuming, gay.

Riding Off Into Gayer Sunsets

Well, shoot, now I feel pretty bad about not having started “The Abandons” yet. The Lena Headey-Gillian Anderson western drama has already been canceled. Though, I think I was right to be wary of series creator Kurt Sutter, who “departed” the project before the season was even finished filming. I certainly hope Lena and Gillian aren’t shouldered with this failure, instead of you know the problematic male “genius” who keeps getting second and third and fourth chances?

Though, truly, I needn’t worry about Lena. Because she has already rebounded in the gayest way possible. She has joined the cast of “Red, White & Royal Wedding,” the sequel 2023’s prince meets president’s son sleeper hit rom-com “Red, White & Royal Blue.” I thought that movie, with Nicholas Galitzine and Taylor Zakhar Perez as the aforementioned prince and First Son, was pretty cute. Also returning are Uma Thurman and Sarah Shahi, plus the sequel is being directed by Jamie Babbit of eternal sapphic fame thanks to “But I’m a Cheerleader.” As I was saying, gay!

Not to be outdone with the landing on her feet in the gayest way possible, Gillian has “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma” alongside Hannah Einbinder coming out this year. Somehow its queer, trans, nonbinary director Jane Schoenbrun has managed to be entirely unproblematic while also being a genius. Funny how that’s possible, for some people. Crazy even.

Anway, I hope Lena and Gillian at least got to keep a couple of the hats.

Vacation Vixen: Lena & Gillian Redux

End 2025 with The Mothers fury. Begin 2026 with your joyous hippie aunts who’ve been "roommates" since college. Why couldn’t these two be in a rom-com, and not a gritty western? Oh well,

Vacation Vixen: Lena & Gillian

Clearly, they chose violence. And is there a more fitting way to remember 2025? I’m taking most of this week off. But I will leave you with the Vixens, and double the Vixens at that. It’s been a hard year. We deserve this.

Free Mother Hugs

Well, wouldn’t you know it was pussy that kept me from posting this past weekend. Kidding, but kind of not… I got a new kitty, and she just got spayed. And, well, that’s how I’ve spent the last few days. Cooing over my new cat in her post-surgery onesie and bathing in the serotonin of absurd cuteness. So, please forgive me. Will posting photos of Gillian Anderson and Lena Headey together in what can only be called The Ultimate Mother Hug make up for it? Has anyone started watching “The Abandons” yet? As you know, I’ve been busy. So, let me know. Now, gotta go tend to that pussy.

Vacation Vixen: Gillian Anderson

Things I am thankful for: Gillian Anderson in this shirt and tie. Knowing Gillian Anderson has an inner wrist tattoo. Gillian Anderson, full stop.

Hats Off, Ladies!

And now, the trailer. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first read about “The Abandons.” I had hoped the series would fully utilize its amazing female superstars to their fullest abilities. I mean, Lena Headey and Gillian Anderson facing off as matriarchs of rival clans? Yes, please. But I had also sort of resigned myself (because, in the Year of Our Misery 2025, you always brace for disappointment) to them being used somewhat sparsely. Or separately. Like, how many face-offs could they have? Turns out, so many! All of them! Constantly! Lena and Gillian are basically snarling at each other in every other scene! And in big-ass hats no less! Good news two Tuesdays in a row? Please, a gal could get used to this.

The Biggest Matriarch Energy

Speaking of TV shows I wish made their female leads gay for each other, how about those first-look pictures of Gillian Anderson and Lena Headey as rival badass matriarchs in “The Abandons?” Remember more than two years ago when I got all excited about the Big Matriarch Energy anticipation at the thought of a face-off between these two? Per the new show’s logline:

Set in Washington Territory in 1854, the series follows the matriarchs of two very different families: one of wealth and privilege, bound by blood; and the other a found family of orphans and outcasts, bound by love and necessity. The families find their fates linked by two crimes, an awful secret, a star-crossed love, and a piece of land with silver underneath. The collision echoes the American struggle of the haves and have-nots, in a place just beyond the reach of justice.

OK, but do they kiss? But, really, now smooch. Please, you were thinking it too. I guess we’ll find out when it premieres Dec. 4 on Netflix.

My Weekend Crush

I have never been this excited about a horror movie, let alone a slasher film. But Gillian Anderson and Hannah Einbinder, as written and directed by the scarily talented queer, trans, nonbinary director Jane Schoenbrun can have that effect on people. So hurry up, already and finish up “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma.” I know you all finished shooting in June. So, clock is ticking. Someone needs some extremely hot scares. Look, there’s not a lot to look forward to right now, I’ll take what I can get. Happy weekend, all.

Creepy, yet still somehow hot. Like I was saying, hurry up. I need this.

Scary Good

Let’s keep these good vibes going, eh? (It’s that or just sob/scream endlessly about the full-scale military response our federal government is insisting on for people exercising their constitutional First Amendment rights in my beautiful state.) So when this news broke recently I was genuinely, genuinely psyched. Not just because it’s queer “Hacks” star Hannah Einbinder and THE Gillian Anderson (also queer), but because it’s also queer, trans, nonbinary director Jane Schoenbrun. Bottom line: shit’s gay, and in the most exciting way. Jane, you might recall, made my favorite movie last year, “I Saw the TV Glow.”

Now this tremendous trio will team up for Jane’s next movie, “Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma.” Variety describes the storyline as such: “The infamous 'Camp Miasma' slasher franchise is getting rebooted yet again. But when the latest movie’s director becomes obsessed with the mysterious, reclusive actress who played the ‘final girl’ in the original film, a whole new kind of slasher emerges from the bottom of the lake.”

No word on who exactly is who, but I’m going to assume Gillian is the O.G. final girl and perhaps Hannah is the director? Just a guess.

Of this new project Jane has said, “I make movies I wish existed when I was a kid. Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma is my best attempt at the ‘sleepover classic:’ an insane yet cozy midnight odyssey that beckons to unsuspecting viewers from the horror section at the local video store. I couldn’t be more excited to be heading to sleepaway camp this summer with the mad comic genius Hannah Einbinder, the legendary Gillian Anderson, and the daring folks at Mubi and Plan B, who by greenlighting this movie have summoned a plague-like flood of blood, guts, and various other fluids to rain down on us all.”

What I loved about “I Saw the TV Glow” was the singularly queer, yet deeply pop culture coded aesthetic Jane brought. This is horror for folks who know life/society/other people are the true horrors. I can’t wait to see what beautiful madness they all make together. And this is coming from a person who hates all those classic slasher movies.

Gender Fuck Thursday: Scoop Edition

I’m not what you would call an avid royal watcher. Yeah, OK, I watched some of the weddings back in the day. And Diana’s funeral. But otherwise I don’t really care what our former ruling monarchy is up to. (Though, clearly, it’s beyond immoral for them to use the sex trafficking services of their pals who are known pedophiles.) I know I didn’t watch the Prince Andrew interview that inspired “Scoop” in full – though of course I don’t live under a rock so I saw clips of the most egregious bits.

So, in theory, it would be a tough lift to get me to watch a movie about Randy Andy’s disastrous Newsnight appearance. But then they cast Gillian Anderson, Keeley Hawes and Billie Piper. So, well, I had to watch. It confirmed that, yes, Andrew and the royals are grotesquely rich, privileged people who have gotten away with everything for way too long. And, also, that Gillian, Keeley and Billie should team up more to take down bad men (even if that result was not intended from Keeley’s character).

So in honor of this trio’s good on-screen works and red carpet camaraderie, I thought I’d share all three women in excellent suits. Granted, “Scoop” is really Billie’s movie with Gillian and Keeley offering strong support. But you get to decide who wins their suit-off, since it’s a Thursday an all. (I know, throwing in Kitty Butler isn’t fair but neither is life so there’s that.)

Vacation Vixen: Birthday Girl

It’s my birthday and I’ll post a Vacation Vixen if I want to. And I really, really want to. I mean, who wouldn’t want Gillian Anderson all wrapped up in an oversized suit like a posh present? But I call dibs as birthday girl and all. Well, I made it another year around the sun, so that’s something to celebrate I suppose. This year I’m taking a few days off to visit friends and generally not. So in my absence please enjoy an extended weekend of Vixens. Thanks, as always, for your care and your generosity and your readership. I am still bad at thank yous, but believe me when I say that I truly am grateful for you, dear kittens, particularly this past year. Go drink a cocktail in my honor tonight, or crack open something nice at home. Or just stare lovingly at Gillian and her enormous collar. I think I might just do all three. It is my party, after all. And it sure beats crying.

p.s. If you feel like buying your host said drink, a reminder that I have a Venmo (@dorothy-snarker) and Paypal (idgie2@hotmail.com) and always gratefully accept tips.

My (Belated) Weekend Crush

Better late than never. The weekend got away from me, but I at least can take comfort in the fact that whenever I want I’ll have something hopefully delightful to watch. “Sex Education” has been quite a ride, and I’m ready for whatever the final season brings for these extremely likable/horny teenagers and their accompanying adults. As always, I hope for more Gillian Anderson, because that’s just like a good life mantra. Also, hello surprise Dan Levy. Opposite of ew, David! Happy watching and weekend, all.

Mental Health Minx: Gillian Anderson

I regret to inform you that it’s Monday again. Would two Gillians on couches help? I thought so.