Gender Fuck Thursday: Female Excellence Edition

A new year is a new chance to shine light on deserving women. So let’s start off 2020 with a by no means comprehensive list of excellent women whose excellence I would like to see a lot more of on the large and small screen – and really all over – this year. Now wouldn't that be most excellent? And, if I may, a gentle plea to put them on the screen wearing suits. Just saying, they all know how excellent they look wearing them.

Saoirse Ronan

She was excellent as Jo in “Little Women,” but then she is excellent in everything.

Awkwafina

She was excellent in “The Farewell,” and I am soooo looking forward to “Nora from Queens.”

Kristin Scott Thomas

She was excellent as a lesbian in “Fleabag,” and we should see her as a lesbian in more things.

Brandi Carlile

She is excellent each time she opens her mouth, and here’s hoping I get to see her do it again live this year.

Janelle Monae

She was excellent with Tessa Thompson, and here’s hoping they can be excellent some more together in the new year.

Lena Headey

She is so much more excellent than Cersei Lannister, and she deserves a better on-screen fate in 2020.

Tatiana Maslany

She is excellence personified and WHY HASN’T ANYONE CAST HER AS THE STAR OF THEIR SHOW YET?

Jameela Jamil

She is so excellent on “The Good Place,” and if she isn’t snapped up immediately for some wonderfully comedic starring role everyone in forking stupid. But then, look who our president is.

Katie McGrath

Yeah I know she’s still making excellent flirt eyes at Supergirl, but wouldn’t it be so excellent if she also got to make flirt eyes at a lady who is unquestionably lesbian in another unquestionably lesbian role? Just a thought.

Ellen Page

So “The Umbrella Academy” wasn’t as excellent as I’d hoped, but there is always hope for Season 2 and her excellently creepy new white eyes.

Lupita Nyong'o & Danai Gurira

They’re were excellent in “Black Panther,” now make a superhero movie about them where they’re a couple. Look, as long as we’re wishing for excellent things.

Tina Fey

My most excellent Fake TV/Movie Wife will always make any list about excellence. Period.

Cate Blanchett

Look, I’ve had the most excellent idea. “Carol 2.” Everything gets revived these days, why not the greatest lesbian movie of the last decade? As I was saying, excellent idea.

Gender Fuck Met Gala

The Met Gala is, as the kids today say, extra. It’s always been extra and continues to be extra by design. This year’s theme - camp - seemed destined to bring out the very extraest exta in all the richest and famousest among us. And for some it did. And others wouldn't know camp if it hit them in the fucking face.

But, good news. The queers, and many of the queer favs, at the event this year came out swinging from the chandeliers (or, in Katy Perry’s case, wearing one). So in a week filled with so much rage-inducement, a little joy in the effervescent frivolity of fashion. No, it won’t save the world and stop the ice caps from melting. But, at least for a little while, I hope it makes you smile. Or, you know, boobie wink.

Janelle Monae

All hail the Queen of Fashionable Cubism! Eyes, everywhere. Lips, who knows. Hats, so many! Winking boobie? FLIRTING, BUT MAKE IT FASHION.

WINK WINK: @JanelleMonae's had an eye-catching outfit at the #MetGala. pic.twitter.com/dzkd7vcutw

— AP Entertainment (@APEntertainment) May 7, 2019

Lena Waithe

Yes, black drag queens invented (or inventend, whatever works) camp. While I'm not sure anything can top last year’s Rainbow Cape, this is close. Oh, did I mention the pinstripes are lyrics to “I’m Coming Out.”

Lady Gaga

Please, like Gaga was gonna fuck up camp.

Danai Gurira

This isn’t necessarily camp, but damn it’s HOT.

Tracee Ellis Ross (Bonus: Sarah Paulson Photobomb)

Is it even the Met Gala if Sarah doesn’t photobomb someone famous with totally relatable emotions?

Kristen Stewart

I can’t say I approve and it’s definitely not camp. But it’s fascinating to watch K-Stew reintroduce herself as punk rock Meg Ryan.

Tessa Thompson

Yes, Mistress. Right away, Mistress. Whatever you want, Mistress.

p.s. I feel this picture on a deep spiritual level. In my pants.

SGALGG: Golden Globes Edition

True story: My power went out about an hour into the Golden Globes and didn’t come back until just a few minutes before the show ended. So I had to catch a repeat to watch the second half. It was a lot of effort for a kind of s0-so show, but that’s just the lengths I’ll go to give you quality Straight Gals Acting Like Gay Gals action (sprinkled with some Gay Gals Acting Like Gay Gals, because we are legion).

Sandra Oh & Jodie Comer

Sandra so rightfully won, but Jodie and the show were robbed. Still, when Eve and Villanelle hold hands and gaze into each other’s eyes, we all win.

Emma Stone, Olivia Colman & Rachel Weisz

I want these three to come out hand-in-hand cracking lesbian sex jokes at all award shows.

p.s. Thanks for, quite literally, shouting how sorry you were for taking an Asian role in “Aloha,” Emma.

Amy Poehler & Maya Rudolph

If Amy is going to cheat on Tina, I’d only ever want it to be with Maya.

Judy Greer

Every time a female celebrity wears a tuxedo on the red carpet, a baby dyke gets her wings.

Alex Borstein & Rachel Brosnahan

“The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” may be having a hard time making Susie officially gay. But Rachel seems to be having no problem checking out Alex’s, uh, Borsteins – if you get my drift. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.

Emily Blunt & Debra Messing

Since we’re talking about Borsteins, Emily is being vey animated about what she plans to do to Debra’s.

Halle Berry & Lena Waithe

I believe sexual orientation is largely genetic. But you can almost see Halle mentally switching teams as she holds hands with Lena here.

Olivia Colman & Glenn Close

Olivia and Glenn just heard Rachel tell them about the “tongue lashing” they’re going to receive from her later and they’re clearly excited.

D’arcy Carden & Jameela Jamil

In real (after)life, Janet would totally fall for Tahani instead of that dum-dum Jason.

Marin Hinkle & Rachel Brosnahan

Blah, blah, blah – I know they play mother-daughter on screen. But that’s acting people. Award-winning acting.

Patricia Clarkson & Amy Adams

Again, yes, yes, yes, I know they played mother-daughter. But it’s called acting, people. Equally award-winning acting.

Regina King & Tiffany Haddish

Regina promised to make all of her projects at least 50 percent female moving forward. I suggest she starts with Tiffany – in her pants. Too much? Did I mention my power went out for a while?

Jamie Lee Curtis

Fine, she’s not doing anything particularly gay. But she looks awesome and I think awesome things are gay. So, there you go.

Lupita Nyong’o, Danai Gurira & Janelle Monáe

I wanna be a fly on that wall…

Oh, look – now we can be! Thanks, Lupita & Danai.

When the cat’s away... pic.twitter.com/jFu7IJ4ATW

— Lupita Nyong'o (@Lupita_Nyongo) January 7, 2019

Vacation Vixens: Danai Gurira & Lupita Nyong'o

“The Walking Dead” should give Michonne more to do. And “Star Wars” should show Lupita’s face. Other than that, these two are absolutely perfect.