Catflap of Destiny

Sometimes, it’s easy t forget that six years ago the “Naomi” episode of Skins happened. And it was so damn beautiful. Naked and brave and aching and just so damn beautiful. No matter how old you were when you first feel in love, this is basically what it felt like. Scary, exciting, SCARY, EXCITING. I’d be hard pressed to think of another hour of television that better capture that universal feeling of finding that one person who makes us feel like a better person, happier, less alone, less lonely. If you haven’t experienced the beauty that is Naomily – or haven’t returned to it in the past six years – allow me to remind you. And may we all find that person to hold hands with through the catflap.

p.s. I refuse to acknowledge and will never watch the bollocky wank shite that was “Skins Fire.” So there.

Another layer of Skins

Time to hold hands through the cat flap again. It seems like an eternity, at least in pop culture years, since 2010. Allegiances can shift from episode to episode, season to season. And in three years so many ships have come and gone through out ports of affection. But all it takes sometimes is a glance, a smile, a hug to be reminded why you fell in love in the first place. And so it is with the return of “Skins” in its three-part redux titled “Skins Pure,” “Skins Rise” and “Skins Fire” in July. No offense to Cassie and Cook, but it’s “Fire” I’m – yes, going there – on fire to see. The story follows Effy and, most important, her flatmate Naomi. And where Naomi goes, there also goes Emily. Because, through everything, we’ve always known them to be brave. A reminder.





So now here comes “Skins Fire,” brining back the drama older and we’ll see about the wiser. Gone are the tumultuous teens, replaced by those turbulent twenties. I fully expect angst and drama to follow. I have no idea what to expect from Naomi and Emily. But I know seeing Lily Loveless and Kat Prescott in each others arms again is enough, for now.

I told you we’d need that cat flap.

Slip you some Skins

I love this news more than cheese. In fact, I’ve loved it since I was 12 – metaphorically. That’s right muff monkeys, you can now watch the entire first four season of “Skins” UK on Hulu. For free. Right now. This second. Did you not hear me? WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

But, for those able to restrain themselves from ending all of their productivity for the foreseeable future and are still reading, let us discuss why this is such great news. First of all, whenever I write about “Skins,” at least half the comments are: “Where can I watch Skins?!? How can I watch Skins?!?! Will you help me watch Skins immediately so I don’t combust from my all-consuming desire for all things Naomily?!?!?” So here we have the answer. Hulu, my fans of intricately told intense British teen dramas with sophisticated same-sex storylines, Hulu.

Now, at this point I realize some of you are probably like, what is this bollocky wank shite? Why isn’t resident Skins Scholar and esteemed Naomily expert Heather Hogan telling me this news? You’re just a student with a crush. All true. Fear not, I make no claims to the levels of character understanding or narrative analysis as our beloved Heather. And you should definitely pop over to AfterEllen today to get her perspective on this news. (As an aside about the power of The Big Lesbian Phonetree, I actually discovered this news from a tweet from big gay supastar Hannah Hart.)

Right, but back to “Skins” (the UK one, not that American one we’ve all made a unspoken pact never to mention again) and why you should love it like it’s your lobster. The very best thing about Skins is that it’s messy. It’s gloriously, unapologetically, unabashedly messy. It veers from high camp to high drama, sometimes in the same breath. It thrashes about madly, showing off its sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll to anyone within earshot. But like many teenagers, that loud, obnoxious outside hides a raw, hungry inside. Growing up, falling in love, finding ourselves – these are the stories we all understand. We try and we fail and we do the wrong things for the right reason and the right things for the wrong reasons. These stories – for all their brash obnoxiousness – are only human. And we humans are a fucking mess.

All this and I haven’t even mentioned Naomily. Seasons 3 and 4 brought us the singularly amazing and universally relatable characters of Naomi Campbell and Emily Fitch. To be honest, I’m a little jealous of all the people who will now get to fall in love with them for the first time. Because you will. It’s the unstoppable force. Their storyline is one of the most heart-wrenching, most heart-warming, most heartfelt portrayals of gay teen love I have ever seen. And, really, not just gay teen love – but all love. Love is being scared. Love is being brave. Love is fucking up. Love is saying you’re sorry – no matter what that stupid movie says. Naomily is all those things. With oils, and stuff.

In fact, the best and only way to show those who do not know Naomily what Naomily is is just to show you what Naomily is. Now, I realize it’s probably a sin to skip ahead like this. In fact, I advise you to not skip ahead if you already intend to start watching the series. But, if showing you one of my favorite hours of television ever is the only way to get the doubters to watch from the beginning, then so be it. You’ll lose the delicious, complicated, hilarious, harrowing build up. (And, like with any new relationship, isn’t the anticipation almost the best thing?) In fact, this almost seems unfair. Because after watching this you’re sure to be a goner. A goner, I say.

There. Welcome to being in love. Now go forth and enjoy the phase where you drink in everything and anything you can about the other person – and need to see each other every second. Just lock yourself in your room with your Naomily and your Hulu. I’ll see you in about a month.

p.s. Apologies to my non-US friends. Geoblocking is a bitch, I tell ya. Also a bitch? Musical license fees. But Naomily with new music is better than no Naomily at all.

Tank Top Tuesday

You know what’s nice to wear when sailing on a ship? Tank tops. You know what’s nice to see when talking about lesbian “ships?” Tank tops. Life has this beautiful symmetry to it sometimes. Today, in honor of some of our favorite gay lady relationships on TV (maintext, subtext & just the voices in our head varieties), how about a little friendly couple competition? Which pair wears it best? And, to get even more cutthroat, which partner in each pairing wears it best? Total lezzer tank top supremacy awaits, ladies. Choose wisely.

Naya RiveraStill No. 1 in our hearts, minds and pants.

Heather MorrisStill No. 1 in Santana’s heart, mind and pants.

Anna SilkIf you haven’t watched “Lost Girl,” I actually pity you.

Zoie PalmerDr. Hot Pants should always pair them with a tightly fitted tank. Always.

Sara RamirezTank scrubs, think about it Seattle Grace.

Jessica CapshawReally, really think about it Seattle Grace.

Lily LovelessLily, a pint and that smirk – it’s all a growing girl needs to survive.

Kat PrescottThough, of course, a daily supplement of Kat couldn’t hurt either.

Lea MicheleNow this is entirely different kind of “bait girl” look. I approve.

Dianna AgronWearing a tank top is basically the same thing as wearing a “Likes Girls” T-shirt, no?

Angie HarmonThis season on “Rizzoli & Isles,” in addition to wanting more eye sex we should all demand more tank tops.

Sasha AlexanderIsles being a Rizzoli is both confusing and hot. So. Fucking. Hot.

Man, life is just one tough decision after another.

Slip me some Skins

You all know I loved the UK “Skins,” or – to put a finer point on it – I loved Naomi and Emily on the UK “Skins.” I loved their characters, I loved their relationship, I loved their journey. I loved it so much I just used the word “journey” and didn’t mean a trip. This is something I’m loathe to do because of its chakras and crystals connotations. Like, “Rainwater Moonbeam, tell me about your personal journey toward actualized womynhood.” No, not for me (not that there’s anything wrong with it…) But the story of Naomi and Emily was indeed a journey. And it was one I was thrilled to go on through all the sweet scooter rides and secluded skinny dips and supply room shags and sobby rooftop confessions. Gosh, now I’ve gone all nostalgic. Who wants to go on a delightful little wallow in Naomily Land with me?

Edited by Rin of Rin & Sophy of Rophy Does.

So it’s with a heaping scoop of skepticism that I approach the new US “Skins.” Not to be all, “British is better,” but – come on – British is better. I don’t think I would have lasted through “Skins” if it was all about US teens. Something about watching American kids just makes me less willing to sit through all the drugging and drunking. Like, why would I watch this when I can go to any high school down the street and see kids crash SUVs while wearing American Apparel T-shirts? Hence, skepticism. But, I’ve decided I want to give it a chance – a real chance. It comes from the same creators and the same of storytelling tradition, so I’ll go along to see if there are stories I’ll care about, like Naomily. Maybe it’ll be Sofia Black D’Elia’s teenage lesbian Tea. Maybe it will be someone else. You just never really know. With “Skins,” the sex, drugs and rock’n’roll are just the hook to entice you, it’s the journeys – yes, both literal and figurative – that really gets you truly addicted.

OK, January 17, impress me.

Oils. And stuff.

To be honest, at first I was the tiniest bit appalled. What is this loud show about these obnoxious teenagers whose lives seem to be an endless blur of getting drunk, getting high, getting fucked, fucking each other and fucking up royally? But then, I kept watching. First impressions are important, but they rarely tell the whole story. Setting a locker on fire at least catches your attention, right? And then, all of a sudden, I knew. I knew that this wasn’t just about kids looking to party, but about kids realizing how weird and confusing and exciting and terrifying and disappointing and beautiful life can right at the cusp of adulthood – and often well thereafter.

So, now, well – I’m a believer. I hadn’t watched “Skins” ever before. Of course I’d heard all about it. Friends had raved about it. Writers had waxed eloquent about it. But I’d never watched, until this weekend. But then, boy, did I watched. I started with season 3, for obvious reasons. I watched the first six episodes all in one setting, finishing just as the sun was starting to make its presence known. Waking up later that morning, was like waking up after having great sex with someone new for the first time. You look over and think, “I get to do this again and again. FUCKING BRILLIANT.” The next night I marathoned the last four, swallowing them whole without bothering to chew. And as we speak (well, I type, you read – semantics), I am using all of my willpower to not make a few clicks and start watching season 4. Oh, that intoxicating first blush of love when you can’t keep your hands off each other.

Skins is so many things: Hilarious, overblown, sexy, fun, heartbreaking, confounding, joyous, randy, poignant, silly, absurd, wise, disturbing, courageous and real. Also, dude, how does every teen in Britain have such seemingly effortless access to weed? But mostly they’re just good stories, spun so well that we can’t help but care what happens to every single one of these obnoxious teenagers.

Gosh, and we haven’t even talked about Naomily yet. I’ve downloaded their episodes to my iPhone and carry them around with me in my pocket everywhere I go. That’s now I feel about Naomi and Emily. I’m not sure I’ve watched another show, another scene on TV that has made my wibbly bits feel all wobbly and then my spirit feel so shattered in a less than three minutes flat. In fact, I’m sure of it. And then the cat-flap. Even if they only existed in that one episode it would still rank as one of the most nuanced, most honest, most amazing portrayals of gay teenagers to be put on screen. “So be brave, and want me back.” Man, is that not falling in love in a nutshell?

Smitten, just smitten.