Lesbian Movie Trailer Week: Hot Milk

Lesbian Movie Trailer Week continues with possibly one of the least sexy titles I can think of – “Hot Milk.” Luckily the trailer gives us mystery, melancholy and possible matricide, with no milk in sight. So, there’s that. The new film based on the novel of the same by Deborah Levy follows a young woman (played by “Sex Education’ star Emma Mackey) who brings her disabled mother (played by queer “Killing Eve” star Fiona Shaw) to the Spanish coast for treatment. There it looks like she meets a woman on horseback on the beach which, honestly, seems straight out of a sapphic romance. I’m not as sure about the rest. And, having not read the book, I have no idea how this will all end. But I am definitely intrigued.

My Weekend (TV) Crush

Hot damn (or cold damn, given the context), I am already really into “True Detective: Night Country.” I mean, I’m a fan of most things Jodie Foster does. But when you give her a badge and sic her on a truly terrifying case, well, the lambs are screaming — for joy in my heart. I’ve been excited for Night Country since it was first announced, and my impatience only grew as the great reviews kept rolling in. But now, after just one episode, I’m already pretty sure it’ll be one of my favorite watches of 2024, less than 20 days into this new year.

Why? Well, I already mentioned Jodie in a uniform, and that stern but always smart air of authority she carries. Also, it appears her daughter (or step daughter, or minor female child she is guardian for — they haven’t made that 100% clear yet, but there’s some tragic backstory coming clearly) is queer. That’s now two female detective shows I watch with lesbian daughters for those keeping score. (You should watch “Annika” too, totally different show, but also built around a very smart, very capable woman.)

But back to what makes Night Country so good. Jodie, teamed with the equally magnetic Kali Reis (who is a relative newcomer to acting, but obviously not smoldering) make a compelling team despite their obvious on-screen loathing for one another. And there’s even another notable role for Fiona Shaw, who appears to be a rugged individualist who sees dead people (instead of, say, a calculating assassin wrangler/international powerbroker/happily ever after killer).

Still not convinced? Well, there’s the show’s female writer-director Issa Lopez, highlighting of the plight of indigenous women and has two female stars as lead for the first time in the acclaimed HBO/Max anthology crime show’s history. Oh, and there’s some spooky, supernaturally vibes, too. And a one-eyed polar bear. And soooo many hats and parkas. As I was saying, you should probably just watch. I know I can’t wait until Sunday. Happy weekend, all.

Review: Ammonite

Let me just put it all out there: “Ammonite” is the lesbian prestige period piece that FUCKS.

The film starring Kate Winslet and Saoirse Ronan is ostensibly a semi-historical romance set in 1840s England about two women who fall in love while searching for fossils along the unforgiving southern seashore. Yes, it’s “Portrait of a Lady with Fossils” mixed with “Carol for Rocks,” sorta.

Indeed, “Ammonite” is about stones. Stones in the literal sense that they unearth bearing the shape of creatures long lost to time, and the stones we can fill our hearts with or that can stubbornly block us from our true passions.

While “Ammonite” may have much in common with our recent slate of lesbian and queer-themed films about women (often period pieces, often filled with long scenes of moody gazing), the movie’s male writer-director has decided gritty and unrelenting realism was his best chance at standing out.

So the second thing you should know about “Ammonite” is that the tone remains resolutely grim through much of the picture. Like, I’m not sure if Kate cracks more than three smiles as stoic and steadfast paleontologist Mary Anning. Her real-life character was a famed fossil hunter. In the film, she is apparently past her major discoveries prime and now sells what she finds as trinkets for tourists in her coastal town.

She meets Saoirse’s Charlotte (whose husband has dumped her with Mary because of some kind of diagnosed hysterical rich lady problems, but what I believe is an undiagnosed case of post-partum depression and unrealized lesbianism) who reluctantly comes to walk the rocky beaches with her in search of even more rocks.

Now, you’d think long walks on the beach would be the perfect setting for romance. I mean, the waves crashing! The dresses billowing in the wind! But, “Ammonite” telegraphs its serious intentions by focusing on the harshness instead of the beauty. Shit is dour, man. Stuff is grimy. Life is drab. Also, the second you see a boiled egg being cracked open look away for a bit. Trust me, it’s not pretty and that’s the point.

But, and here’s the biggest “but” perhaps ever, all this grim and grimy determination is interspersed with moments of almost spastic yet entirely believable desire. You know that sex scene everyone is talking about? Believe me, you won’t miss it. I can honestly say it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen in mainstream lesbian movies, especially mainstream lesbian movies brimming with A-list stars. And unlike some of those other much-talked-about lesbian sex scenes of late (“Blue is the Warmest Color” and “Disobedience” come to mind), this one totally passes the Lesbo Street Cred test – if you know what I mean.

Also, it’s not unhot.

[SPOILERS FOLLOW, COME BACK AFTER THE NEXT ALL-CAPS, BOLDED BRACKET]

Right, so that scene? Well, OK, I’m just going to say it. Saoirse Ronan sits on Kate Winslet’s face. Yes, you read that correctly. If you’ve ever wanted to see an Academy Award-nominated actress climb onto an Academy Award-winning actress’s face like a little spider monkey and then proceed to ride it to nirvana, this is the movie for you. And, you know what, I ain’t mad about it. Not one little bit. I may have rewatched it, um, for scientific arts criticism purposes. What? I’m only human, OK?

[SPOILERS OVER, YOU CAN COME BACK NOW]

The film also features what may be the earliest historical presentation of lesbian U-Hauling I’ve ever seen. For those still harboring a crush on Kate since her “Titanic” days, it will come full circle as she draws another woman like one of her French girls. Saoirse and Kate squeeze as much chemistry as they can in brief, meaningful glances over cold, dispassionate rocks.

“Ammonite” is a very good film, if not a particularly joyful one. Most of its festive moments (not to mention most colorful ones, in the figurative and literal senses) involve brief encounters with Mary’s upper-crust ex, as played by the always magnificent Fiona Shaw. Otherwise, it seems like the movie goes out of its way to make Kate look as unglamorous as possible – which is fine. Not everyone is Carol Aird. But, we get it, she’s working class and work is hard – especially for women working in a man’s world.

I’ve sometimes grumbled about the trend of lesbian prestige period pieces. Sure, lesbians lived in the past when things were tougher and society was different and that’s interesting. But how about we tell some contemporary lesbian stories up in here for a change? We still exist today, you know. (Another reason “Happiest Season” is so damn refreshing in its conventional contemporary appeal.)

In a perfect world we’d have a little of everything. The grim period pieces. The sweeping romances. The cheesy rom-coms. We would have diverse choices. We could choose to be picky about genre. You know, like straight folks get to be every day when they choose between the endless options of entertainment in television, film, music and more created precisely for them and their sexual orientation.

But we’re not in a perfect world, yet – clearly. So we take what we can get and we’re happy it’s taken if nothing else seriously. “Ammonite” is definitely worth seeing, it’s a solidly crafted and at times emotionally aflame story of finding love in a hopeless place. And, we’ll always have that scene. That alone might be enough to rock our worlds, so to speak.

”Ammonite” debuts on Video-on-Demand tomorrow, Dec. 4

Elementary, Dear Enola

Goodness, doesn’t this look fun. I’ve never read “The Enola Holmes Mysteries,” but if they’re anything like this trailer I really should have. The new Netflix film based on the young adult book series has an impressive roster of stars (“Stranger Things” Millie Bobby Brown, Superman/perpetually square jawed Henry Cavill, “Hunger Games” survivor Sam Claflin, forever goth queen Helena Bonham Carter and out queer actress Fiona Shaw, to name a few) and a fun premise. My only gripe, they took a book series by a female author about a spunky and norm-defying female heroine and gave it to a male screenwriter and male director to adapt. But, in better news, Millie and her older sister Paige Brown are listed as producers. So, ladies, tell the stories you want to tell and be in charge of those stories. And if those stories involve imaginary sisters to imaginary famous detectives who have imaginary adventures where they dress in-and-out of drag and fight people while solving mysteries in unconventional ways, all the better.

My Weekend Emmys

Look, I’m not saying the Emmy’s have impeccable taste. But, they basically had my taste in TV this year. Sooooo. I guess what I’m saying is the Emmys had impeccable taste this year – you’re welcome.

“Killing Eve” getting nominations for Best Drama, Best Lead Actress in a Drama (for Sandra and Jodie) and Best Supporting Actress in a Drama (for Fiona). “Fleabag” getting eleven, yes ELEVEN, Emmy nominations including Best Comedy and Best Lead Actress in a Comedy for Phoebe and literally every other female actress who appeared in either a supporting or guest role on the show. Seriously, I am not kidding: Olivia, Sian, Kristin and Fiona (yes, again) all got nominations.

And then there was all the love for “Russian Doll,” a head-trip of a show that was way smarter and stranger than I thought the Academy would ever recognize. And “The Good Place” getting rightfully recognized too. And “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,” thought admittedly I haven’t had time to start the second season yet. And same goes for “Schitt’s Creek,” but there are only so many hours in a day and sometimes I need to close my eyes.

In short, it was a very good year for smart women who like to watch smart television about other smart (and strange and sometimes murderous) women. Happy weekend, all.

p.s. This is how Phoebe Waller-Bridge acts when she wins a big award. So, just saying, Academy voters – you too can make this happen.

My Weekend (Irish) Crush

By the time you read this (given time zones and such) Ireland may have – hopefully – voted for marriage equality. The country could soon become the very first on the entire planet to grant same-sex couples the right to marry via popular vote. And, as much as I think civil rights should not be selected via a court of popular opinion, I feel confident that we have progressed to a point that the hearts and ballots of the majority of people will do the right thing. So in honor of this auspicious moment in history, let us celebrate the best way possible. With 10 lovely Irish lasses. Happy weekend, all. Fingers crossed, Ireland.

Katie McGrath

I’ve kinda missed her. Where’d she go? Oh, she’s in “Jurassic World?” Cool, cool.

Caitriona Balfe

You’re watching “Outlander,” right? Good, as long as that’s sorted.

Nora-Jane Noone

Hey, I remember her from “The Magdalene Sisters.”

Charlie Murphy

I still haven’t watched “Happy Valley,” but now I feel extra bad about all my procrastinating.

Ruth Negga

Is she still on “Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D?” I stopped watching last season. Shush, I know it got better.

Maria Doyle Kennedy

Granted she gave up Helena. But I’d still want Mrs. S, and her shotgun, to have my back.

Saoirse Ronan

“Hanna” was pretty fucking nuts. Just an observation.

Kelly Gough

I sincerely hope PC Hagstrom will be back for “The Fall” season 3.

Fiona Shaw

Sure, she was Mrs. Dursley. But, damn, she also got Saffron Burrows. So, no shame in that game.

Evanna Lynch

Look, if The Internet can go insane about Neville Longbottom, we can at very least give our respectful appreciation to Luna Lovegood.

p.s. Well done, Ireland. Well done, indeed.